Elves Do It Better
Warnings: Explicit content, discussion of suicide and suicidal tendencies, violent scenes and physical injury
Disclaimer: I own nothing connected with either LotR or Twilight. They belong entirely to their respective owners.
Bella felt the return of the nightmare again as she tossed and turned violently in the confines of her blankets. A gentle, ever-more familiar voice called out to her.
'Alphwen! Wake up!'
"Bella!" a musical voice called her name, mingling with his, as she gasped and sat bolt upright. Gasping wildly, clutching her chest where it ached, Bella turned her head to look into Arwen's deep blue eyes.
Her own vision blurred with tears, and she knew she was crying as Arwen's face burned with compassion. She took Bella in her arms, hushing her like a mother would hush their child.
"I am sorry, little one. Adar told me of your past," she breathed in her beautiful voice, as Bella struggled to fight back the tears. Finally she won the fight, as she forced herself to straighten and looked the elf-woman in the eye.
"Who's adar?" she asked, frowning slightly as her tongue tripped over the unfamiliar syllables.
"Adar means father, Bella, in Sindarin. Sindarin is one of the languages of the Eldar," she explained.
"I have a lot to learn it seems," Bella murmured, but Arwen merely laughed.
"And I shall help you. Rivendell is a store of lore as well as a refuge for my people, but it is noon. Time enough for learning later, first you must to eat," she said, pulling Bella to her feet and out of the room.
To Bella's surprise, she did feel stronger as Arwen led her through arched hallways and along shady pathways until the two women reached a larger hall. They passed inside, and Bella could hear a gentle cacophony of sound rising from within, murmurs and good-natured arguments, emanating from inside a large doorway.
She faltered slightly, not really wanting to meet anyone else, and Arwen paused beside her, watching her with a slight smile.
"Very well, we'll collect some food from the kitchens and take our noon meal in the sunlight," she sighed teasingly as Bella blushed. A moment later she sobered. "Perhaps it is better you do not meet anyone until you are stronger. And I shall then have time to teach you some of our customs, since you shall be living here among us."
Arwen led her to a small side room, in which there was a hatch like a school cafeteria. She knocked on it, and quickly spoke in what Bella guessed was Elvish to another Elf, a male with long pale blonde hair and wearing a silvery grey robe. With a laugh he handed over a basket and nodded towards Bella, smirking before he said something in Elvish to Arwen.
Bella narrowed her eyes, self-consciously tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear. "What did he say?" she asked, eying the blonde Elf warily. Arwen smiled, and took her arm, leading her out into the bright sunlight.
"He said it is a pity such a lovely and exotic flower as you is so shy," she murmured, and Bella blushed. She was no lovely flower.
"He's exaggerating," the mortal mumbled in embarrassment, as Arwen led her through the gardens of Rivendell. Bella inhaled the scent of the flowers, some recognisable to her and others less so. But they were all beautiful and all smelt delicious.
Arwen frowned at her companion's comment before she led her to a stone bench under the shade of a blossoming tree. She placed the basket down, and the pair sat. The bench was surprisingly comfortable, as Bella's guide unpacked soft white bread, a kind of hard cheese, and ripe apples. They ate in silence, the sounds of birdsong serenading them, as they sat in the peace of the gardens, while in the distance the falls of the Bruinen roared away.
Bella heaved a deep sigh, she felt so at peace. In that moment she could forget everything, forget about Dad and home, and the Cullens. She just existed.
"I can understand what he was thinking," Arwen suddenly stated, and Bella whipped her head around to stare at her. She sent the human an apologetic look before continuing. "Forgive me, but I can understand what he, and you, are going through."
Bella took 'he' to mean Edward.
"Do you?" she asked, looking down at her hands still clutching a half-eaten apple. Her skin appeared almost translucent in the effervescent sunshine, waxy and pale. The sight sent a twinge of pain through her chest.
"Yes, I feel I do, because I am going through the same thing, Bella. I have a lover, Aragorn. He is a mortal, and I love him deeply, but he feels we cannot be together because I am immortal. He wishes me to pass over the Sea to the Undying Lands with my kin," the elleth explained gently, and Bella flushed at the intimate story unfolding before her. She barely knew Arwen and yet the Elven lady was confiding something in her that Bella herself wouldn't have told anyone in a thousand years.
"But do you have a choice?" Bella asked, at last, in as quiet a voice. Arwen sighed sadly, and looked down.
"Yes, I do have a choice," she whispered finally and Bella stood, no longer able to stay there a moment longer.
"So did I, so did he," she breathed, looking down on Arwen in her flowing robes. "I made my choice, but he refused to make his. He wanted me mortal forever."
"Why?" she asked, smooth skin crinkling in confusion as she frowning, standing to walk to Bella, clasping her hands in her own warm ones.
"Because he didn't want me to become a monster like him," Bella replied, feeling tears well up again as she thought about him. Arwen took the human in her arms and held me as the tears broke free once more and she wept again.
"Do not let your past fill your heart with bitterness, little Alphwen. You can heal here, and perhaps you shall find a new purpose in time," Arwen whispered into her hair, and Bella felt some comfort at her words. Sniffling, she raised her head and smiled weakly.
"Your father said something like that," she mumbled, wiping her eyes. Arwen smiled.
"Yes he can be quite wise sometimes," she replied teasingly, and they laughed. Their levity passed, but the grief did not return when it did, and they stood together in companionable silence.
"Arwen, what does 'Alphwen' mean?" Bella asked, breaking their shared silence, her curiosity piqued once more when she recalled her words from before.
"It means 'swan maiden', in Sindarin. An apt name for you, Bella," the elleth smiled at her young mortal friend, and Bella smiled back. At least, she reflected, she seemed to have one friend in this strange place.
"It's too lovely for me," she replied, shaking her head, Arwen's smile turning into a frown.
"Why?" she asked, "It is a name which suits you well. You do not see how lovely you are, for a mortal."
"Not lovely enough for him," Bella replied firmly. "I wasn't good enough for him."
Arwen looked angry for a moment. "You truly believe that? He lied, Bella. It is the other way around for you are too lovely for him. The world does not begin or end with Edward Cullen, Bella."
At the sound of his name, Bella gasped, the hole in her chest throbbing angrily as she fought to breathe. A moment later Arwen's arms came around her and held her tightly, as she sank to her knees.
"Forgive me, Bella. I did not think," Arwen gasped, as she held the young mortal close while the pain receded, and her vision cleared.
"I'm ok…I'm alright," Bella breathed, leaning on Arwen as she helped her to stand, careful not to ruin her gown of lavender silk. She watched the human worriedly, before taking her arm.
"We should return indoors. You are not well," she murmured, as she began to lead Bella back to her room. She followed her willingly, too sick at heart to do anything else.
Finally they reached Bella's room, and she slumped onto the bed gratefully. Her legs were still weak from her illness, shaking beneath her as she'd walked back through the gardens, and she was getting tired quickly. Arwen helped her into bed, and she relaxed back into the pillows gratefully. Bella smiled at her, impishly.
"I could get used to this," she muttered, and Arwen laughed.
"We'll talk more soon. Get some rest, and I'll show my father's libraries tomorrow if you wish. We have some books in th Common Speech you might find instructive," she murmured, as Bella nodded and rolled over, her eyes already closing in exhaustion.
"Thank you, Arwen," she managed to reply softly, just before she fell asleep. She was dimly aware of a gentle hand on her hair before Bella succumbed fully and felt no more.
Arwen stood there for a moment, watching her charge carefully for any sign of a nightmare or another paroxysm. Bella's last in the garden, when she uttered the name of the one who had harmed her, had greatly disturbed her and she knew not what to do. She had never witnessed such anguish in a mortal before.
With one last caress of Bella's hair, she turned and left her young friend to rest, brow furrowed as she passed silently from the room.