Elves Do It Better
Warnings: Explicit content, discussion of suicide and suicidal tendencies, violent scenes and physical injury
Disclaimer: I own nothing connected with either LotR or Twilight. They belong entirely to their respective owners.
Time didn't seem to exist in Rivendell. Or at least, it didn't exist the same way Bella had once marked it, with hours, minutes and days. Her life slipped into a comfortingly monotonous routine. Sleep, eat, read, learn, eat, sleep.
She would awaken when the first rays of the morning sun drifted across her bed and retire to sleep when the moon reached its zenith, feeling strength return with every passing day. She gained weight after her illness, under the eagle eyes of Lord Elrond and Arwen, and the beautiful elleth was rarely away from my side. She taught her Sindarin and the rudiments of Quenya, taught her to play the harp, keeping her mind off her past, her home and her predicament.
Bella even learned to ride a horse.
But every night the nightmares and the memories came back, like ghostly chains that refused to let her go, or old friends that she'd hoped never to see again that refused to disappear. During the daylight hours, Bella forced herself not to think about Forks, about Charlie, about…any of it.
She couldn't claim to be happy, as such. She had everything she could ever want, really, and certainly everything she could possibly need, but…
She was empty, a broken shell, slowly healing. Haldir helped.
The Elf in her dreams helped her, brought her out of the nightmares of Edward leaving her, kept her safe from the dark abyss which stretched out to claim her every night. Without him, she would have been lost long ago.
But for all that, she had never seen his face, just smelt his scent and felt his strong arms around her, steadying as the pains passed and the nightmares were forced to relinquish their hold. She never felt so safe as when she was in her dreams.
She never spoke to Elrond about it, in case he thought her crazy, but she found herself obsessing over him in the day. She wondered if they would ever meet.
It had been almost a year since Bella Swan had fallen into their lives.
In the life of one of the Eldar, so little seemed new and fresh. After two millenia of living and seeing things pass into darkness, to Arwen, to her father, and even to the elves of Rivendell, she was a fresh breeze of life.
And yet not so. A sadness had fallen over her fragile mortal beauty, in her deep brown eyes even as she grew more radiant with every passing day.
Not that Bella ever acknowledged that, Arwen had observed. She always avoided mirrors, and often the elleth would enter her room to find her tossing and turning in her bed from nightmares.
With every fibre, Arwen had striven to distract her, to aid and to help find her happiness in her new home, teaching her all she knew of the Eldar's history, their languages, even teaching her to ride.
Just remembering Bella's white face the first time Arwen had helped her mount Asfaloth could still make the elleth laugh.
But there was something holding her back from embracing the new life she had been given. Arwen sensed there was no return to the world she had originated from, even more sensed that maybe she knew it too, and that was the cause of her sorrow. But something else told her that she was still haunted by the spectre of Edward Cullen.
Those thoughts crowded into her head as she swept along the corridor to Bella's rooms, just after midday. The leaves on the trees had begun to turn gold and amber, and winter approached. Not that it would touch Rivendell, but in the outside world it would soon grow dark and bleak.
Arwen knew that her father was troubled by rumours of the Shadow rising in the East, knew that he feared Sauron's return. Her grandmother, the Lady Galadriel, was soon to arrive there with her brothers, to hold counsel with their father.
Arwen secretly hoped that her grandmother, ancient and wise, would know of another way to help Bella, their little Alphwen.
So thinking, she cautiously knocked on Bella's door, and when she received no answer but a moan, she entered to find her spread out on her bed, her hazel-coloured hair splayed out, escaping its Elven braid, the skirts of her pale blue dress twisted around her legs. Her skin was flushed and rosy, as she moaned Edward's name with such desolation the elleth felt tears spring to her eyes.
Arwen had thought that her love for Aragorn alone held such power to destroy, but seeing Bella as she was then….
She was a remarkable mortal, even if she did not see it.
Arwen moved forward, gently tucking back a strand of hair off Bella's forehead when she stilled and peace washed over her face. "Haldir…" she breathed, and Arwen stilled, nonplussed.
Had she just uttered the name of the Marchwarden of Lothlórien?
Under the elleth's hand, Bella stilled and breathed deeply, settling into cool slumber as she whispered his name one last time. "Haldir…"
Arwen silently backed away, and sought her father's counsel.
She found him in the courtyard, surrounded by Glorfindel and some of his other advisors as he beckoned her to his side. "Daughter, your brothers approach," he murmured with a smile, as Bella slipped her mind for a moment.
"That is good news, Adar. But I have something I must discuss with you and my grandmother," she replied, returning his joyous smile.
Her father opened his mouth to ask what, but the sounds of hoof beats against the ground stopped him, as the pair turned to face the arched gateway into their home.
In rode the twin sons of Elrond, tall and dark atop their stallions, bows and quivers thrown across their backs. Elladan and Elrohir both looked the same, with Adar's dark hair and pale skin, but all of the children of Elrond possessed their mother's sapphire blue eyes. None possessed the golden hair the Lady Celebrian had inherited from their grandmother, as Lady Galadriel rode in atop a grey palfrey, surrounded by her silver-haired guard.
With a slight shiver of trepidation, Arwen noticed Haldir, the Marchwarden himself, was amongst them.
Haldir breathed deeply of the scent of Imladris as their procession entered. It could never compare with his beloved Lothlórien with her trees of silver and gold, and the fragrant breeze which whispered of the sea, but it was still hauntingly beautiful and he was glad of its shelter after the long weeks of travel through the bleak, empty lands in the leagues between Imladris and Lothlórien.
With a word and a raised fist, he brought the guard to a halt, dismounting as his Lady did, standing back as the ancient elleth greeted her kin with a restrained joy. Behind him, Rúmil and Orophin quietly and efficiently set to organising the guard as Haldir had instructed, while he awaited the order to dismiss his men from the Lady.
In truth, Haldir had been relieved when the Lady had chosen him to accompany her to Imladris. For many months, he had been afflicted by something he had begun to ponder as a germ of insanity, or the first whisperings of despair as the darkness stretched it's shadow over Middle-Earth. Every night, he had been accosted with dreams, torturous dreams that had left him pained and desperate when he awoke.
Perhaps, Lord Elrond might have answers, as his Lady had been perplexed by his condition as he was.
"Mae g'ovannen, Haldir," the Lord Elrond greeted him cordially as they finished their family greetings, as he returned it solemnly, twisting his fist against his breast as he bowed his head in respect to the great Elven Lord and kin of his Lady. As he raised his head, he caught the gaze of Lady Arwen, as beautiful and poised as Haldir had ever seen her. But there was a shadow in her eyes when she looked on the Marchwarden, a darkening that hint of troubled thoughts. He wondered what he had done to earn her uncertainty.
Then, as if stricken by an arrow, he felt a shock pass through him, cold and sharp. He felt her, felt the presence of the woman he had spent hours dreaming of.
'Alphwen…'
He felt her desolation and her sorrow, felt the intoxicating scent of her sink into his very bones as inwardly, he quivered. She was here.
At last.
It was several hours before Arwen could contrive to speak to her grandmother and her father, but finally she summoned them into the library.
"What is it, daughter?" Lord Elrond asked, as they seated themselves beside the window, the nightingales beginning to sing their twilight arias, and as she looked out the window, Arwen spotted Bella walking with her head in a book and an apple in the her hand.
"Adar, it concerns our Alphwen," the elleth began cautiously, conscious of her grandmother's keen gaze watching the pair intently. "This afternoon, just after midday, I went to Bella's room. When there came no reply to my knock, I grew worried and entered, to find Bella in one of her usual nightmares."
"Who is this 'Alphwen' you speak of, Arwen? Your father mentioned a guest you believe was sent by the Valar. Is this Bella the same person?" the Lady Galadriel asked, and Arwen nodded. Quickly she related the whole tale of Bella's arrival to her grandmother, including her nightmares.
Her beautiful face grew sad and troubled.
"It is indeed agony to lose a loved one, but all the more so when they leave you so callously. But I do not understand, why does this worry you even more so now, granddaughter, if she has been suffering them for months?" she asked, and Arwen drew in a deep breath.
"Because this time, she uttered a name, twice, and then grew peaceful, as if that name brought bliss upon her just by uttering it," she explained, at which her father leant forward, his hands folded thoughtfully on his lap.
"Whose name did she call, Arwen?" he asked, frowning slightly.
"She called Haldir's name," she murmured in reply, and saw both of them stiffen slightly in shock. Nothing moved in the library, as they stared at the younger Elf with their enigmatic eyes. Finally Galadriel spoke.
"This is not the first time this has happened. Haldir too has been experiencing dreams of a young woman, a young woman who calls to him in sleep. It seems they have found each other at last," the Lady murmured, looking out the window to where Bella walked in the garden, oblivious to the revelations they had discovered.
After Haldir and his brothers had seen the Lady Galadriel safely to her counsel with her kin, they tended to their horses and saw to the maintenance of their gear.
Haldir remained distant from Orophin and Rúmil's banter, his mind still dwelling on the presence which echoed so clearly in its depths, pulling him like a rope had twined his wrist with hers.
"What is it, brother? You look a thousand miles away," Orophin momentarily interrupted his reverie, as he blinked and looked over his shoulder at him.
"I am perfectly fine, brother mine. I just…have a lot on my mind," the elder muttered, as he rubbed his stallion down. Haldir could imagine his brothers' rolled eyes at his words, the distant statement of a commander, not a brother, but then that was what he was.
At least, most of the time.
"All work and no frivolity makes a dull Elf, Haldir. Stop thinking about your duties for just one moment, why don't you?" Orophin smirked ruefully, while Rúmil waggled his golden brows at him insolently.
"If he actually managed to stop thinking about his duty, he would probably fall down dead," he joked, and Orophin chuckled.
"Very amusing," Haldir shook his head as they both laughed behind his back, "But if you don't stop it, I'll have you on border duty for a decade."
They both stopped laughing at once.
His mind, freed from distraction, did not think about duty but about the woman who even now called him to her. A siren, singing to his soul.
Without a word to hisbrothers, Haldir turned and left the stable, determined to find her once and for all.
Haldir searched carefully. She was not in the library, the kitchens, or the distillery. She was not in the forge so that only left the gardens. He wandered through them, drawn to her, as his quick senses picked up the swish of a robe over the grass, and the tread of slippered feet. The wind whispered through thick hair and golden leaves, as he turned a corner and saw her.
She was beautiful.
Her slim figure was both hidden and displayed to advantage in the long blue gown she wore, netted with pearls underneath a pale grey over-robe, the silk draping over her figure and arms like water. Her skin was like the finest alabaster, shining in the twilight, her long fingers carefully clutching a book as she unconsciously walked towards him, the remains of a half-eaten apple clutched in her other hand.
Her lips were a shade of red, somehow between crimson and pink, so utterly tempting and soft. Haldir found himself desiring to run his fingers over them, to see if she was real. Her long brown hair, mixed with radiant strands of red and deep gold, tumbled down her back, only partially restrained by an elven braid, exposing her ears.
They weren't pointed.
She was mortal.
But that didn't matter as he felt his heart race in his chest at the sight of her, so beautiful and so real, after all these months of feeling her in his mind, in the depths of his very soul. Her name left his lips before he could think.
"Alphwen…"
She looked up, instantly wary, as her eyes met his own. And he felt himself struck anew by the sheer loveliness he saw in those infinite orbs of brown. But then the sadness and the desolation in them washed over him, heavy and all-encompassing. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and she looked almost too pale, now he saw her closer.
Nonetheless, she offered the stranger a small smile.
"Hello," she breathed, closing her book. Haldir frowned, then realised.
She didn't know who he was, didn't know that the elf she had called out to in her dreams was now stood before her.
"Greetings, my lady," he breathed, stepping closer. Her eyes met his, and he saw her breathing stutter slightly. "I am lately arrived from Lothlórien, and thought to see the first stars appear in the sky."
What was he doing? He was babbling like an elfling with his first infatuation.
"Then don't let me keep you," she murmured politely, before turning away. His soul cried out, and he sensed it had called to hers, as she turned back to him, her lips flushed and rosy.
A siren indeed.
"Do I know you?" she asked, turning to face him fully, a puzzled frown on her brow. It was oddly adorable. "I feel like we have met before, somewhere…"
"Nowhere in Middle-Earth, my lady," he breathed, as he sensed her soul return the call of his own. He wanted to move forward and take her in his arms, but he did not.
He could not, long millenia of caution held him back. But he gave her that small clue, praying to Elbereth she might understand.
"My apologies," she muttered, but she still sent the stranger a puzzled glance, a thoughtful glint in her eyes.
"What is your name, fair maiden?" Haldir asked, and she rolled her eyes.
"I am no fair maiden," she muttered, and he stared at her. How could she be so unaware of how lovely she was? But that made her beauty all the more precious.
"Your name, then?" he asked again, wanting to make sure. To be certain his soul and his mind were leading him in the right direction, a direction he could not yet fathom.
"Bella," she replied softly. "Bella Swan."
"My good fortune to meet you then, Bella Swan," Haldir breathed, stepping closer. Her eyes widened as they met mine, and recognition dawned. "Alphwen…"
"You," she breathed, stilling like a statue of ice, as he reached for her. "Haldir…"
"Haldir!" They were interrupted by the call of his name, his outstretched hand just inches from Bella's cheek, and he recognised his brothers' call.
The agony he felt as he turned away from her, leaving her side, was almost more than he could bear.
Bella stood, completely and utterly stupefied by what had just happened.
Haldir, the elf from her dreams, was there!
After so many months of dreaming and needing him more than she needed to breathe, in her fight against the past, he was finally here, and she had looked on his handsome face. It was finer than anything she had ever seen, even the Cullens', with his golden hair draped over his shoulders, stark against his grey tunic and the silver clasped leather strap. It made her heart race, after so long in sleep.
Alive, Bella felt alive for the first time in months.
Her heart was pounding as she watched him walk away, before she turned and fled. In that moment, she didn't know what she truly felt or thought. She just needed space and time to think, before she saw him again. That night was to be a welcoming gathering for the elves that had arrived today, including Arwen's grandmother and brothers who she was nervous about meeting. But now, that seemed tiny in comparison to the thought that Haldir was here, and he was real.
Bella would see him again, tonight, whether she liked it or not.