A/N- More twins stuff. If this were in the timeline it would take place sometime after Fallen Light
San-Li felt frantic and tense as she tried to carry both of her crying children on each hip. At the same time she was trying to talk to Sam who was away at MIT. She had to use the wireless headset he made because neither Sammy or Keiko would let her put them down. And what was worse was that they were getting bigger and heavier.
"What do you mean you're not coming home this weekend!?" San-Li tried to talk above the wailing. "You didn't come home last weekend! Or the weekend before that! Hell, you've been gone for three months in a row!"
"I said I'm sorry alright?" Sam said loudly. There was the noise of gears and machines on his end too. "I've been swamped here with school work and my inventions. I'll try to make it next weekend I promise."
"But I need help now!" San-Li felt close to crying. "I miss you and I think they miss you. They haven't stopped crying all week!"
"Well where are Fred, Fina, Joe or even Joleena?"
"Out of town or busy. I told them I didn't need them since I thought you'd be here!"
Sam sighed and started to say something when a giggling female voice broke in.
"Sam love, you've got to come see this!" She said excitedly in a thick British accent. "Your plans are genius, it's actually working now!"
San-Li tensed and for just a moment forgot about the wailing children in her arms. "Sam? Who the hell is that?"
"Just a classmate of mine." Sam said in mild exasperation. "We're working on something together."
Keiko gave a particularly loud shriek in her ear and she swore loudly.
"San-Li!" Sam snapped. "What have I told you about cursing around them? About cursing in general?"
"Well I'm sorry but she misses her father!" San-Li yelled feeling hot tears run down her face.
"Hey, I already told you I was sorry, but you're the one you told me to-" Sam broke off with a sigh and continued in a more gentle tone. "Look, I have to go but I promise that I'll try-"
"End call!" San-Li said impatiently and the head set instantly hung up.
San-Li struggled to hold in sobs as she bounced Keiko and Sammy on her hips. They woke up fussing, ate breakfast and lunch fussing, she had changed them twice and they were now on full blown crying. Not even Alex could cheer them up and now he was in the kitchen washing dishes and giving her worried looks. Sammy gave a particular sharp yank on her hair and she nearly dropped him with a scream.
"Ow! Dammit Samuel Jr! How many times have I told you not to do that!?" She yelled before she could stop herself.
Sammy stopped crying for a brief moment and stared at her in astonishment. Then his face crumbled and he cried even harder. When she heard how loud her brother was crying, Keiko's screams doubled to match his.
The sobs San-Li had been trying to hold broke through and she placed both twins on the couch. She then all but collapsed on the floor, buried her head in her arms and wept as they continued to cry.
Life felt so unfair and frustrating. Just when she had a second chance of living, she had gotten pregnant and now her whole world had shrunken to this apartment and caring for these crying, screaming children. She tried to hold on the love she felt for them when they first entered this world, but that love felt impossible to grasp right now. And it was even harder to remember the love she and Sam shared when he was miles away, probably not even thinking of her and what she was going through.
There were so many things she could have done with her life. San-Li was almost if not as smart as Sam, but while he was free to pursue his dreams she was stuck in this endless torrent of crying and tears. But she couldn't tell him that. Sam had basically saved her life and raising his children was the least she could do to repay him. So she had to use her best skills and lie to him and say that she would be content like this. But this wasn't her. San-Li was not fit to be a mother. She wasn't fit to have a second chance.
She heard the sink drain and Alex laid a still damp hand on her shoulder before wrapping his arms around her. He hugged her silently before abruptly leaving her and she could hear him fiddling with something in the corner. Suddenly, a beat began to play over the speakers and she stopped crying to listen.
Na-na-na, come on
Na-na-na, come on
Na-na-na-na-na, come on
Na-na-na
Come on, come, come on
The catchy R&B tune played even above the noise of the twins' crying. San-Li poked her head up and saw Alex looking at her with an expectant smile. He bounced his head at the music and nodded at her. San-Li couldn't help but smile at one of her favorite songs.
Feels so good being bad
(Oh oh oh oh oh)
There's no way I'm turning back
(Oh oh oh oh oh)
Now the pain is my pleasure
cause nothing could measure
(oh oh ohh ohh ohh)
Love is great, love is fine
(Oh oh oh oh oh)
Out the box, outta line
(Oh oh oh oh oh)
The affliction of the feeling
leaves me wanting more
(Oh oh ohh ohh ohh)
However, the twins were still crying over the singing, making it hard to enjoy. But Alex kept looking at her and nodding and she knew what she had to do.
"Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it; Sex in the air, I don't care I love the smell of it; sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me!" She sang loudly.
At the sound of her singing, the twins quieted their crying at looked at her. They soon began sniffling and whimpering though, about to break into fresh tears. San-Li quickly stood up and continued singing.
"Love is great, love is fine. Out the box, out of line. The affliction of the feeling leave me wanting more." She sang. "Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me!"
The twins stopped crying altogether and smiled at her. San-Li began dancing and singing to the music and soon they were clapping their hands and laughing at her. Alex squeaked in protest and surprise when she grabbed his hands and forced him to dance with her, but when the twins laughed even harder he went along with it.
They played the song on repeat over and over again and the twins stood up on the couch and bounced to the music. San-Li laughed and for the first time in over a year felt like herself again.
Sam carried his luggage up to their floor and felt excitement fill him. He had finally been able to get away and spend the weekend with San-Li, Alex, and their children. But beneath the excitement he also felt apprehension. The last time he had spoke to San-Li was a week ago and she sounded like she was at her wits' end. Despite all her constant reassurances Sam knew that him going away would make things difficult for her and he was afraid that, like always, he would be proven right.
"Huh?" Sam paused at their apartment door. "Is that music?"
Behind the door Sam could hear what sounded like hip hop music and Spanish lyrics. He unlocked the door and the music rang out clearly. He cautious walked inside and quietly closed the door behind him. Spanish hip hop music was playing loudly throughout the apartment via the speakers he put in.
Mamita yo se que tu no te me va' a quitar (duro!)
Lo que me gusta es que tu te dejas llevar (duro!)
To los weekenes ella sale a vacilar (duro!)
Mi gata no para de janguiar porque
Sam walked into the kitchen and froze. San-Li had her back to him and was dancing and rocking her hips to the music while searching for something in the fridge. Sam hadn't seen her dance like that since before she got pregnant and he found that he couldn't look away from her. There was absolutely no trace of the frustration he heard in her voice when he spoke to her last. San-Li was dancing like she used to when they first started dancing and he found himself enchanted with her all over again.
His head came up when he heard the sound of giggling and clapping and he saw Keiko and Sammy in their high chairs at the table. They were watching San-Li pure enjoyment in their faces and bounced excitedly in their high chairs as if they were trying to dance with their mother. Alex was sitting at the table with them and was smiling at San-Li from ear to ear.
San-Li turned around with two jars of baby food in her hand and danced back to the table.
"A ella le gusta la gasolina (dame mas gasolina)! Como le encanta la gasolina (dame mas gasolina)!" She sang in perfect Spanish. "A ella le gusta la gasolina (dame mas gasolina)! Como le encanta la gasolina (dame mas gasolina)!"
Sam's jaw dropped in surprise. San-Li voice was incredible. He knew that she could dance, but he had no idea she could sing. She kept singing and rapping to the music while she and Alex fed the twins. Keiko suddenly looked over in his direction and squealed.
"Da da da da da da!" She screamed excitedly holding her little arms out to him. Even Sammy grinned and joined her chanting. "Da da da da da da!"
San-Li jumped up in surprise. "Sam! You're home!"
She quickly cut off the music and ran into his outstretched arms. He kissed her hair, her face, and then deeply on the lips before holding her tightly and stroking her hair. He was glad she never cut it. It felt so silky running between his fingers.
"I told you I'd make it home eventually." He said softly and pulled back to look at her. "Is everything alright now? You sounded pretty bad last week."
"Yeah, I'm alright." San-Li smiled and nestled back into his arms. "I think I finally figured things out now."