I used to know nothing but darkness, pain, hunger, and loneliness. They used to keep me chained in a cave so I couldn't escape. But that was a long time ago. I'm not so good at keeping track of time which is kind of ironic since I'm supposed to be a time dragon. Whatever that is. I'm not really sure. All I know is that when I get angry or feel strong emotion I get really, really big.
I stay in bed long after I actually wake up. I just like how the bed feels. Its really soft and cushiony. My head sinks into the pillow and it smells really nice. The blanket is really light though. I don't like heavy things on top of my body. I'm also allergic to wool so everything is cotton. Wool makes itchy patches all over my skin.
My body starts feeling stiff from not moving so I get up and stretch then head to the bathroom. I'm finally tall enough that I don't have to use the step thingy to see the mirror. My stomach starts to growl while I'm brushing my teeth. I get hungry really easily and it takes a lot to fill me.
After I'm done I head to my sister's room to see if she'll fix me breakfast. My onee-san was the one who saved me from the darkness. There were some other people with her but she's the one who really saved me. She's really pretty with long black hair and dark eyes. Sometimes I dream of another lady like her but I can't see her face.
I try to slide her door open but it's locked. Great. That means he's here again.
My onee-san has a boyfriend named Sam. His hair is messy but his clothes are neat and he wears glasses. I'm not sure if I like him anymore. I used to like him a lot but when onee-san told him she was pregnant he got mad which made her angry and she cried.
But that's not why I'm not sure I like him.
He was really nice to onee-san and the twins for a while but then he started leaving for long periods of time. My sister pretended that she was okay with it but she doesn't know that sometimes I catch her crying when she thinks no one is watching her.
My stomach growls again and I get impatient. I try opening the door again and when it doesn't open I knock. There's the sound of muffled voices inside. It kind of sounds like arguing. Onee-san slides open the door just enough to poke her head out. Her eyes look tired like they first did when she got back from the island.
"Hey Alex," She mumbles. "Do me a favor and check on the twins, kay?"
I try to peek around her and see Sam sitting on her bed with his back to me. His head is in his hands like he has a headache. Onee-san moves to block my vision.
"Yes, Sam's here now just give me a second alright? I'll be out in a few minutes."
I huff to let her know that I'm annoyed with her but I do what she says and go to the twins' bedroom. The twins are Keiko and Sammy, Onee-san's children and my cousins. At first I didn't like them because when they were being born I thought that they were killing onee-san. Blood was pouring out from between her legs and she was screaming and crying in pain. Later she explained that was how children were born and I was born the same way. Sometimes I'm jealous of the twins though. I wish that my sister was my mother instead.
Their room is different shades of pink and blue and they had cribs that gently floated and rocked in the air. Sam made them. He makes a lot of things which is pretty cool I guess, but onee-san says that it's part of the reason why he's always away.
Sammy is still asleep but Keiko is shifting and making noises like she's about to start crying. I put my hand on her back and rub it softly. She stops fussing but her eyes open and she leans up on her forearms. She blinks at me sleepily for a moment then she smiles, her pacifier falling out of her mouth.
I help her sit up, but I don't hold her because onee-san says that I don't have enough upper body strength for that. Instead I make silly faces at her to make her laugh.
"Aa-weks!" She giggles and points. "Aa-weks! Aa-weks!"
It's funny how she says my name wrong, but at least she says it. She hasn't learned how to say my sister's name yet. When he hears his sister, Sammy wakes up too. He looks around in confusion before sitting up on his own. I make silly faces at him too and he laughs, flailing his arms in excitement.
"Well look who's awake." A voice says behind us.
Both of the twins' faces light up even brighter with excitement and I turn around to see onee-san standing in the door way, wearing pajama bottoms and a t shirt.
"Ma ma! Ma ma!" Keiko pulls herself up on the bars and starts bouncing up and down.
"Mamamamamama!" Sammy stays sitting but reaches his arms up to be held.
"San-Li, we're still not finished talking." Sam says coming up behind onee-san. "Should we feed them now or should we wait?"
Keiko gives a shriek of happy surprise. "Da! Da! Da! Da!"
Sam grins and moves past onee-san to pick up Keiko. She coos happily and pats his face with her pudgy little hands. San-Li didn't say anything, but the way her lips were pressed together told me that she was angry. One time Keiko broke her laptop and her lips stayed pressed together for the rest of the day.
Sammy begins to cry so San-Li comes over to pick him up. He instantly stops crying and grabs a handful of her hair, babbling happily. My stomach growls again which is staring to make me irritable. I grunt and tap on my sister's hip to remind her that I still need breakfast.
"Okay, okay." She smiles and ruffles my hair. I don't like it when anyone else does that. But I really like it when she does it.
"I'm not trying to fight, San-Li." Sam says in a low voice. "But I really don't like you being bonded to Joe. Something terrible could happen again."
"And I told you I can handle myself." Onee-san smiles as she handed me a plate a pancakes, but her voice was tight.
I dug into the pancakes eagerly. My sister always fixes me the best breakfasts so I won't get too hungry before lunch. The twins were sitting on either side of me trying to eat oatmeal but they were really smearing it all over their faces.
Sam sighs and shakes his head at her. "How come I don't remember you being this stubborn?"
Onee-san smile drops and she glares at him. "Maybe because you don't really know me."
Sam's eyes widen at that and I think she hurt his feelings. It makes me feel kind of bad for him. Sammy starts yelling and banging his spoon on his plate to let Onee-san know that he wants to be cleaned up. Keiko is messier, but she giggles as she plays with the oatmeal in her hair.
My sister smiles at them and a little of her anger goes away. But just as she dampens a cloth and starts to clean Sammy off, Sam sighs again.
"I just don't want you to leave our kids without a mom."
Onee-san's head snaps towards him and she starts yelling. "Just like you left them without a dad!?"
The whole kitchen goes silent and Sam visible cowers. Sammy begins to sniffle and both twins break into crying. Sam frowns and goes to pick Keiko up. Now his voice becomes tight.
"I know you're irritated, but you need to watch your voice level." He says bouncing Keiko in his arms. "It isn't good for the twins or Alex to year you scream like that."
Well it isn't good for him to make onee-san angry. Now that I think about it, the only time I really see my sister angry is when she talks to Sam. After the twins were first born, they used to always talk in calm voices or laugh together. But ever since they came back from that trip they took, all they did was argue or barely spoke at all.
Just like now. My sister doesn't answer him as she calms Sammy down. When he finally does calm down, it's clear he isn't hungry anymore so she takes him into the living room. Keiko calms down too so Sam brings her into the living room to be with her brother.
Instead of staying with them, onee-san comes back into the kitchen and starts clearing off the table. I quickly finish the rest of my breakfast and go over to the sink to help her. She's breathing pretty heavily which tells me that she's upset. It makes me sad that she's sad. I touch her arm to let her know that I know she's sad.
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Alex." She turns on the water so Sam can't overhear us. "Its just, every time he opens his mouth I want to punch him in the face."
I nod. I've noticed how tense she gets whenever he turns to her to say something.
"But at the same time, I know he has to be here for the twins. It wouldn't be fair for them to not see their dad because I can't stand him."
This time I shrug. Me and her don't have dads and we get along fine. Besides, onee-san has another friend, a blond muscular guy, who comes over and plays with the twins sometimes. Why don't they just pretend that he's their dad?
"I dunno." Onee-san sighs. "Sam's a great guy. It's probably just me."
After we finish the dishes, Onee-san sends me into the living room to play with the twins while she goes into her room. Sam watches her leave and his eyes are sad.
"Hey Alex," He says turning to me. "Um... do you remember my friends Fred and Joe?"
I nod. Fred is the blond muscular guy who comes over to play with the twins and Joe has freckles and dark skin. He doesn't come over as much but when he does he does these really cool tricks.
"Good. Um..." Now Sam bites his lip like he's nervous. "Do you know if she has any other guys come over? Or if she goes out to meet any guys?"
This time I shrug. The pizza guy comes over sometimes or the Chinese food guys does, but my sister doesn't usually leave the house without me. And even then we just go to the grocery store or the library. Sam sighs and he sounds both relieved and sad at the same time. Sammy pats his face and Sam kisses him on the nose.
"I don't know what wrong with mommy." Sam says sadly. "Do you think she hates daddy?"
"Da-ba-bo." Sammy says patting his face again.
"Da! Da! Da! Da!" Keiko shrieks happily.
"It seems like all she does it get mad me." Sam says talking to me again. "Every little disagreement escalates into a huge fight. I thought motherhood would make her a nicer person. But it seems like she's meaner than when we first met."
"Excuse me?" Onee-san comes back into the living room and shoots a dirty look at Sam. "Did you just call me mean in front of my kids?"
"Our kids, San-Li, our kids." Sam sighs in exasperation. "Why do I feel like you keep forgetting that?"
"I don't." Onee-san mumbles and sits next next to me.
"Yes you do." Sam starts to look angry. "Don't forget that you're the one who told me to go away to college. I warned you that it might not be a good I idea."
"Yes, yes. You're right Sam! You're always right, Sam! And you get big government checks and you go to a fancy government school that proves you're always right!" Onee-san looks angry but I can see the tears in her eyes.
Sammy starts to whimper and fuss so San-Li stops talking and looks away. Sam stares at her for a long moment. He then clears his throat, puts Keiko in my lap, and stands up.
"I'm going to go to the library so I don't fall behind on my research project." He says grabbing his laptop bag. "I'll bring you guys some dinner."
"Alright." Onee-san keeps her head down so she doesn't have to look at him. "See you tonight."
"Then I'll probably just pack and go to bed." Sam puts on his shoes. He's not looking at her either. "I want to get a head start when I leave tomorrow morning."
"Okay." Onee-san is even quieter.
I look back and forth between them. Both of them are keeping their faces away from each other. The twins stop playing and almost look confused. I want to stand up and say something. They used to be so happy together, why do they have to fight so much? My mouth opens but I can't get it to do anything. Sam does glance at my sister once, but then he's gone.
"Da da?" Keiko calls in a small voice. "Daaaa- daaaaaa!"
Sam doesn't come back though so Keiko's mouth trembles and she begins to cry. My sister pulled her into her arms and when I look closer, I can see that she's crying too.