"Can you believe that the nitrous compound actually responded to the electric current?" Catherine giggled excitedly. "I knew you were good at gizmos but I never thought you'd be so great at chemistry too."
"Thanks." Sam smiled. "But it was initially your formula. I just made some suggestions."
They had just gotten out of their shared Chemical Engineering class. The fall air was chilly but warm enough for just a light jacket. Catherine was a chemistry major but she and Sam spent a lot of time together working on the same projects. She was originally from London and had come over to the states on a scholarship.
As they walked Catherine purposely kept brushing her arm against his. He looked over at her and she gave him a small shy smile.
"So..." She said softly. "Since we finished our research project early and we don't have anymore classes today, maybe we could go see a film? Maybe grab some dinner afterwards?"
"You mean like a study date? Did you want to figure out our next project?"
Catherine giggled and bumped him again. "No you wanker, I mean like an actual date. A real romantic one you know?"
Sam blinked in surprise and looked at her. Catherine was really pretty with strawberry blond hair falling neatly over her shoulders in a bob cut. She also always dressed in business casual clothes, with skirts and blouses that somehow both showed off her figure and yet remained tasteful. Not only that but she was brilliant, funny, sweet, and interesting. Years ago she would have been his ideal girlfriend.
But Sam was already in love with someone who was much more than that.
"Catherine," He sighed. "You know that I already have a girlfriend."
Her smile quickly turned into a frown. "Hmm, funny that she didn't come up when you..."
"Nothing happened that night." Sam said quickly.
"Only because I wanted to take things slow between us." Catherine retorted angrily. "If I hadn't said anything, you probably would have woken up in my bed this morning!"
Sam stopped walking. "That's not true and you know it. Look, I'm sorry for what happened that night, but me and San-Li had this really huge fight before I left and I had a few to drink and-"
"And you know that's not all to it," Catherine put her hand on his arm. "Sam, ever since we met you and I have spent a lot of time together and I think we get along great. And lately the only thing I hear about you and San-Li is that you two are fighting."
"All couples fight."
"Yes, but not like the squabbles between you and San-Li. Look, I know you want to be there for your kids and I respect that, but-"
"It's more than the kids." Sam took a deep breath. "Even though we may have problems right now, I am absolutely in love with San-Li and I plan to marry her after I graduate."
"Well is she planning on marrying you?" Catherine huffed and folded her arms. "Because it seems to me like you're just wasting your time on a dead relationship when you could have a real one with me."
Sam just shook his head and walked away from her, heading back to his dorm room. Catherine just didn't understand. Almost no one understood his and San-Li's relationship. On the surface they seemed to be the opposite of each other, but deep down they had more in common than people realized.
So what if they were going through a rough patch? Didn't everyone? Sam could count a hundred times before when they had a major fight in the morning but were cuddling and watching Netflix by the evening.
Once he made it back to his room, he flopped on the bed and opened up his laptop. A sigh escaped before he could stop it. Who was he kidding? Deep down he knew that he and San-Li were doing more than just fighting. Their relationship was falling apart before his eyes and he had no idea why.
"I guess part of it is my fault." Sam mumbled opening up his browser. "I keep pushing her to end her bond with Joe which I know irritates her, but I can't stand the thought of her being in danger."
He probably should have told her what happened on the island, but every time he started to he just couldn't. And Sam wanted to be home with her and their kids, but San-Li always told him that she'd be fine. It was too confusing and a bit frustrating to think about.
For all his knowledge, research, and astounding I.Q, Sam was inept at figuring out relationships. If San-Li would just tell him what she wanted, then he would do it in a heart beat.
To help take his mind off things he started randomly browsing the internet. Emails, Facebook notifications, forum updates, YouTube videos, San-Li's vlog channel...
"Wait what?" Sam sat up and took a closer look at his laptop. "I didn't know San-Li had a vlog."
He quickly double clicked the link and was taken to a YouTube channel filled with videos. She was already at over ten thousands subscribers and comments section had people putting in requests for more. The videos ranged from stories about the twins and Alex, to San-Li reviewing video games , music, tv and movies, or her just telling the viewers about her day.
Sam spent hours watching every single one of them. The twins and Alex were more than a handful, they occupied pretty much every moment of San-Li's life. And even though San-Li seemed happy, Sam noticed that she barely spent time with anyone else.
Sam clicked on the thumbnail of the last video and couldn't help but smile as the image of San-Li filled the screen. She was smiling at the camera as she sat cross legged on her bed.
"Hey guys," San-Li waved with a huge grin on her face. " So in keeping with Q/A month one of the questions you guys seem to have most for me is 'what is it like to be a single mom?' and 'how have your kids changed your life?'"
Sam felt a jolt go through him and he waited eagerly for her to continue. This was it, this was the answer he was waiting for.
"Well since you've all been so awesome, I'm going to tell you." There was a slight pause as Sammy began fussing and she lifted him in her arms. "Difficult. Worth it, but difficult."
"The father, my boyfriend, went away to college a few months after they were born. Now, he offered to stay like a good baby-daddy but I didn't think that was fair for him. He's such an incredibly smart and brilliant and hard working guy that one accident shouldn't keep him from college."
Thanks goodness, she at least didn't resent him for going away. Sam always wondered if he made the right decision by coming here. And it was nice to hear her say he was brilliant.
San-Li sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "But that doesn't make it any less hard for me. Especially when I go out and people notice that there's no ring on my finger. I always get these... looks. Especially since people think that Alex is my son.
"I could even handle the looks though.. if I could just have someone to talk to. Really talk to. I don't have a lot of friends and the few friends I do have constantly remind me how lucky I am considering my situation. They mean well but they don't really get it, you know. Besides, they've been pretty busy with their own lives."
Sam felt his fists clench. Their friends were supposed to keep her from from getting lonely and help her, not make her feel guilty.
"Anyways," San-Li grunted as she lifted Keiko into her lap as well. "I guess I'm also a little jealous of Sam. He's off inventing all of these incredible things and meeting new and interesting people and well... taking care of children tends to a little repetitive."
The twins began to fuss in her lap so San-Li had to stop talking a moment so she could try and calm them down. Sam felt anxiety and guilt churn his stomach. Every time he called her to tell her what he was doing at college not felt like he was rubbing his freedom in her face. Only now did he realize he was being selfish in not asking more about her or the twins.
"I don't blame him though. I don't blame any of them." San-Li continued. "To sum things up since the twins are getting fussy, the hardest things about having kids is that your life kinda stops. And the hardest thing about being a single mom is that you're alone when it does. But I wouldn't give them up for the world. Now if you'll excuse me I have some diapers to change. Laters."
The video ended and Sam sat back with a weary groan. The video had been posted yesterday, but there were already ten thousand views and tons of comments sympathizing with San-Li. And more than a few of them were comments berating Sam for leaving San-Li.
"No wonder she's been so irritable lately." Sam mumbled. "She's lonely with just no one her age to talk to all day. Not to mention she's pouring all her energy into taking care of the twins and Alex."
Suddenly, a grin spread across his face. That's it! He just figured out exactly how to make San-Li happy again. And then things finally could go back to normal between them. All it would take was a little quality time.