You Paired Me With Who?

by Midori12

The characters of Pokémon have been paired off with some strange people and/or Pokémon, but how do they really feel about it? Well, here's their first-hand accounts! Watch them go through their own shipping lists with mostly humorous responses! What could possibly go wrong? - Currently updating old chapters; May 5 - Skyla, Max and Trip / May 8 - Volkner, Black and Bianca (Bel)

2. MistyShipping

MistyShipping

What is this? Romantic pairings between me and other characters? Who thought this would be a good idea? You want me to give my opinion? Ugh, fine, but if any of these are stupid, someone's facing the wrath of my mallet…

AdvancemotherShipping – Misty x Azurill

Azurill? That's a Pokémon, guys. Plus, it's a baby. C'mon.

AdversityShipping – Misty's scrunchy x Cilan's hair

…Was deciding to do this a terrible idea…?

AllgrownupShipping – Misty x Togetic

What's with the Pokémon?! Yes, I love Togetic, but not like that.

AndrewsShipping – Misty x Ash (under the assumption that they are long-lost siblings)

Now possible incest? What the hell is wrong with you guys?!

AniseShipping – Misty x Lyra

I've heard about Lyra from Ash. I've yet to meet her personally, though.

AquarageShipping – Misty x Gyarados

A GYARADOS? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

ArachnophobiaShipping – Misty, Ariados, Galvantula, Joltik x Spinarak

HAHA, YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY, DON'T YOU?!

ArsonAffairShipping – Misty's scrunchy x Ash's Hoenn hat

Can I just, like…walk out? Like, right now?

AshorgyShipping – Misty, Ash, Casey, Macy, May, Melody (movie) x Latias (human form)

I mean, because I'm pretty sure none of you want to face my mallet…

BangShipping – Misty x her mallet

Speak. Of. The. Devil…

BitchShipping – Misty x Jessie

Bitch? I'll show you a bitch… Wait, Jessie? Ugh, no!

BlondisterShipping – Misty x Ashley (Kanto)

Ashley? You mean when Ash crossdressed? Isn't that still just Ash? Is this someone's kink or fetish or something weird?

BlurryPhotoShipping – Misty x May Oak

Gary's sister seems like a really sweet person, but I haven't really gotten to know her.

BragWaveShipping – Misty x Golduck (the one owned by Marina from the Orange Islands)

That's not cool.

BraveAttackShipping – Misty x Macy

Uh, no, Ash can have her. And apparently any other girl who's dumb enough to fall for a guy like him. I mean, seriously.

CatchYourTearsShipping – Misty x Oddish

Okay, just because I cried to a weed Pokémon doesn't mean I'm in love with it.

CeruleanShipping / SisterShipping – Misty, Daisy, Lily x Violet

Y'all are sick.

ChampsElyseeShipping - Misty x Serena

Never met her.

ChestShipping – Misty x Lorelei

Lorelei? She's my idol, sure, but I don't like her like that. Wait, why chest…? Is this implying something?

CloneBitchShipping – Misty x Jessiebelle

Again with the bitch! Argh!

ColorOfWaterShipping – Misty x Blue

Blue is a friend, but…I think she likes to tease Yellow and I about Red for some reason…

ConfusionShipping / MigraineShipping – Misty x Psyduck

Confusion? Yeah, confused as to why I'm paired WITH A FRIGGIN' POKÉMON!

This whole list is gonna give me a migraine…

CrystalFishShipping – Misty x Ash (Mirror)

…What?

CypherShipping – Misty x King of Pokélantis (Ash)

…What?

DanceShipping – Misty x Rudy

Eh. Rudy was sweet, but I don't think it would have worked. I don't think I'd like a long-distance relationship.

DorididaeShipping – Misty x Bonnie

Haven't met her either, but isn't she just a child? Well, I mean technically I'm a child too, but…

Well, considering what I've seen on this list up until now, I guess pairing me with a child seems more normal.

DownBoyShipping – Misty's hand x Brock's ear

*Pulls out a megaphone and sighs increasingly loudly*

EggShipping – Misty x Meowth / Misty x Togepi

Forget Meowth. We're not going there. And Togepi was a baby Pokémon. You guys are gross.

EgoShipping – Misty x Gary

Ego-maniac is right. Gary and I definitely wouldn't have worked out, I'm pretty positive.

EntomophobiaShipping - Misty, Caterpie, Larvesta, Scatterbug, Weedle x Wurmple

All right, seriously, who made this stupid list?

FantasticFivesomeShipping – Misty, Ash, Dawn, Iris x May

What, you mean multiple people contributed to the making of this list? And by multiple, you mean in the thousands?

FlowerShipping – Misty x Mikey

Again with the children? He's more like a little brother to me.

FluteShipping – Misty x Melody (movie)

Ugh, nu-uh. I'd like to take a flute and shove it up her—what? I was just gonna say her nose.

FroggyShipping – Misty x Butch

Who's Butch? Oh, that guy? Uh, no.

FunShipping – Misty x Cassidy

Same with Cassidy. I don't think so. Is this really someone's idea of fun…?

GeneratorShipping – Misty x Pikachu

POKÉMON, GUYS! Pikachu and I are good friends.

GreeneyeShipping – Misty x James

What is with the Team Rocket members, guys? No!

GymShipping – Misty x Brock

Brock? Oh, Arceus forbid, no. I guess a lot of people really like to pair us together, but no way. He's not even attracted to me, anyway.

HanadaShipping – Misty x Red (game)

Red and I hang out sometimes and train together. He's pretty, uh…quiet. Certainly not much of a talker.

HappyEndingShipping – Misty, Red (PokéSpe), Blue x Yellow

Who thought this was any kinda happy ending…?

HaremMaidsShipping – Misty, Ash, Dawn, Iris, May x Serena

THIS IS WORSE THAN FANTASTICFIVESOME!

HarpieLadySistersShipping – Misty, Nando, Daisy, Lily x Violet

…I don't even have a proper comment for this one…

HeadcanonShipping – Misty x Togekiss

I don't wanna know about the headcanons of a single person in this fandom…

HoHoHoShipping – Misty, Santa Claus, Cassidy x Jessie

I DON'T THINK I EVEN WANT TO GUESS WHAT THIS COULD POSSIBLY MEAN.

IceRaceShipping – Misty x Danny

Yeah, he was hitting on me, but he was too old for me.

ImageShipping – Misty x May

May and I are good friends, not romantically involved.

IndigoShipping – Misty x Ritchie

Ritchie? Eh, not much of my type.

JumpingToConclusionsShipping – Misty x Yellow

Yellow? She's sweet, but…I don't think so.

KissableShipping – Misty, Ash x Melody (movie)

What. The hell.

LaserTridentShipping – Misty x Octillery

*Pulls out the megaphone again* HOW LOUD DO I HAVE TO GET TO INFORM YOU THAT I AM IN NO WAY INTERESTED IN POKÉMON?!

LegendaryShipping – Misty, Entei, Raikou x Suicune

Sure, just bring on the ultimate Legendary Pokémon foursome… I'm TOTALLY okay with this…

LesboShipping / SickoShipping – Misty x Delia

WHAT?!

LilypadShipping – Misty x Leaf

Leaf is a close friend of mine. And don't misinterpret that.

LolitaShipping / PerveShipping – Misty x Professor Oak

*Screams for all of eternity*

MangaPokéShipping – Misty x Red (PokéSpe)

…I kinda like Red, but I don't think he's interested in me. He's so dense.

MasumiShipping – Misty x Max

Uh, no…

MenagerieShipping – Misty, Green (game) x Red (game)

What's a menagerie? *Is handed a dictionary* "A collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition."

*Tosses the dictionary* There was another definition under it, but I'm not even gonna bother.

MesaFanShipping – Misty x Clemont

I have not met Clemont yet, but he seems like a nice kid.

MistwardShipping – Misty x Tentacruel

Y'know, I really like Tentacruel, but I can really see where people would take that statement just a bit too far…

MistyandHerRivalsShipping – Misty, Iris, May x Serena

RIVALS OF WHAT?!

MistyJealousShipping – Misty x Giselle

JEALOUS OF WHAT?!

MizuchiShipping – Misty x Iris

Never met Iris. She seems pretty cool, though.

NightingaleShipping – Misty x Giovanni

*Obnoxious Aerodactyl screeching*

OrangeShipping – Misty x Tracey

Nah. Not my type. He's a good friend.

OysterShipping – Misty x Dawn

I haven't met Dawn, either, but I'd like to meet all of Ash's traveling companions.

PanderShipping – Misty x Green (PokéSpe)

No, we're not really close.

PhobiaShipping – Misty x Bugsy

VERY FUNNY, GUYS!

PhotoShipping – Misty x Todd

No. Still not my type.

PokéchuShipping – Misty x Ashachu

I'm gonna burn this list, and then I'm gonna burn everyone who contributed to it.

PokéShipping – Misty x Ash

Ash? So, this pairing seems to be one of the most popular ships out of all of the Pokémon pairings. I…don't understand why. Ash and I are just friends. So I glared at him when he mentioned that Giselle was cute. It was unexpected. So I made a funny face when Melody kissed his cheek. It was unexpected. So I accidentally dropped Togepi when Bianca/Latias kissed his cheek. It was unexpected.

It doesn't mean anything.

At all.

QuadbitchShipping – Misty, Hunter J, Jessie x Jessiebelle

*Stares intently at the list, possibly hoping to set it on fire with her mind*

*…It fails*

RegionHaremShipping – Misty, Ash, Dawn, Iris, Lyra x May

I know I'm only ten, but I feel like this is what drives people to drink.

ReverseHaremShipping – Misty, Ash, Brendan, Jimmy x Lucas

Arceus, this list is long as hell. How many pairings am I involved in?

…Over five hundred and fifty? And you're being nice enough to only give me less than one hundred? HOW CONSIDERATE.

RiverShipping – Misty x Suicune

So Suicune chose me as its trainer to fight against the Mask of Ice. Doesn't mean we're romantically involved, guys.

SeaMonkeyShipping – Misty x Cilan

Another of Ash's friends I haven't met, so yet again, no opinion.

SlapShipping – Misty x her right hand

…Do I even want to know what this could possible mean…?

SlutShipping – Misty x every person she meets

*After all this time, she finally brings out her trust mallet*

SomeoneelseShipping – Misty x Georgio

Eh, I mentioned there was someone else, but I just said that because I didn't want to just tell him no. He was a nice kid, but not my type.

SplashPlateShipping – Misty x Arceus

I'd really like someone to explain to me how the hell this could possibly work.

StalkergirlsuniteShipping – Misty, Ash, Anabel, Angie, Dawn, Macy x Melody (movie)

Why am I included in this? Is this because of the bike thing? Because that was totally jusitified.

StringShipping – Misty x Caterpie (Ash's)

HOW MANY MORE OF THESE ARE THERE?

TribitchShipping – Misty, Jessie x Jessiebelle

Is there even any point on commenting on these anymore…?

WaterHaremShipping – Misty, Ash, Daisy, Lily x Violet

…We may almost be done, but you guys are really testing me.

WaterPulseShipping – Misty x herself

…

WaterShipping – Misty x any water trainer

Well, I guess this is a step up from SlutShipping…

YoungerSisterShipping – Misty x Sakura

Sakura is more like a younger sister to me. Hence the name, I'm assuming.

Final Thoughts

You guys are some seriously sick people! Just stick with enjoying the anime or manga or games! No need to unnecessarily pair us up with other people. And POKÉMON? C'mon, now.

Wait, Pokémon fanfiction? And there are how many romantically involving me with other people and Pokémon? Okay, mallet time. MALLET TIME!