Landon kicks the bathroom door shut behind him as his mouth once again attached on to the woman standing before him. His hands cupped her face as the make out session increased in lust and intensity. Erin's back pressed against the stall wall as Landon's hands began to roam over her body. He roughly pulled at the buckle on her pants, and as a result, she nervously pulled away, "I can't," she gently pushes him away, "This is weird. I'm…I'm married. I can't do this."
"You may be married, but you don't love him though." He argued, reaching his hand out to pull her close again, "You don't remember Jay. You barely know who he is. You don't even know if you were happy in your marriage. Erin, we care for each other."
"I'm sorry Landon. I can't."
Erin moves passed him and ushers herself out of the bathroom stall. She took a glance at her reflection in the dirty mirror and began adjusting her disheveled outfit, "Erin." He comes out behind her, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so pushy. I know you're confused and I don't want to take advantage of that. I'll take it slow if that's what you want." She nods.
"I'm ready to go home."
Landon reaches into his pocket and retrieves his keys, "I can make that happen."
Lindsay follows her old friend out of the bathroom and through the crowd of clubbers. She held on to his jacket in order to keep up with his rapidly moving form, "Hey, wait up." Erin picked up her steps as she dodged around the partygoers.
The fresh air settled her racing heart. She followed Landon to his parallel parked car, and froze. His car was parked legally on the side of the road. Erin carefully approached the vehicle, and slowly sat inside. She stared forward in familiarity as her eyes glanced out of the window. Her eyes closed briefly and the moment they shut, a memory of a hard impact hit the car she was in. Lindsay reopened her eyes at the vision of her flying through the windshield.
"Hey, are you okay?" Landon turned to face her from the driver's seat.
"I remembered something."
"What was it?"
Erin buckled her seatbelt hastily, "I remember the accident…actually I only remember seconds of it. I remember being hit and going through the windshield."
"Do you remember Jay?"
Her head shakes, "No. It was only brief, but I remembered something Landon."
The young man glumly turned forward, started the car and pulled off. He allowed the low music to add sound to the silent car ride. In his peripheral vision, he could see her staring at him, "What?" She was obvious, and Landon was curious.
"Why did my mother and I stop talking for so long?"
The car pulled to a brief stop at the red light, "For years, Bunny never stopped trying to reach out to you, but you refused. You didn't want anything to do with her."
"Why?"
"I don't know," he shrugs, pulling off at the green light, "Bunny never told me."
"I can't believe I ignored her and shut her out for so long."
Erin could sense him shutting down. He didn't want to talk, and she personally didn't blame him. She pushed him away the moment they grew close. And from what he has told her of their past, it probably reminded him of how she treated him. Apparently, she wasn't a good girlfriend or friend. She allowed Voight to convince her to sever ties with him, and she felt entirely guilty for that. Before Lindsay could say another word, they pulled into her mother's apartment complex.
In silence, the two stepped out of the car, entered the building, walked up the first set of stairs and walked into Bunny's apartment. The blaring music startled Erin as she stepped inside. The floors shook from the pumping bass, and the room had smelt of a mixture of cigarette smoke and burnt rubber. At the sight of the dancing people, a smile stretched across Landon's face, "I swear living with Bunny is the best." He closed the door behind him before walking further into the apartment to dance, drink, smoke and mingle.
A part of Erin wanted to hang with her mother. It was one of the reasons why she decided to stay with her for a few days, however at the sight of a cigarette in Bunny's left hand and a glass of alcohol in the other, she decided against it. Lindsay looks around in a panic. Her breathing increased as she thought about her next step, but at the sight of an old memory, she calmed. She spotted a scrapbook lying upon the couch's end table, and she pushed through strangers in her quest to get it. The young detective had no desire in attending the party, and chose to grab the scrapbook and head into her mother's bedroom.
In a quick instant, Erin grabbed the book, raced to her mother's room and slammed the door shut. She walked over to the bed, and took a seat at the edge of it. Her eyes glanced down at the thin, rugged and damaged scrapbook; before she pried open the watered damaged pages. As Erin looked at each photo, she felt an overwhelming sense of relief because she remembered most of the memories, but by the time she reached the third page, there were no more added pictures to the scrapbook. Only about five percent of the book was complete. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at the unfinished, blank pages, and before she could react fully, she felt fingers tickling her against her side, "Stop!" Erin slams the book shut, "I hate being tickled!" Her voice was stronger and powerful, and it shook Landon in his core.
"I'm sorry," he held his hands up, "I didn't know."
"Of course you didn't," her voice sounds broken and he takes a seat beside her, "How come I never finished my scrapbook?"
"I'm not sure. I just know you started making that around the time Voight took you in." His breath reeked of alcohol.
Lindsay lifted the scrapbook up and tossed it across the room. She rose to her feet, and backed away from Landon. She hated the fact that she remembered nothing, but at the same time, a part of her was scared of remembering something. She wished that the accident didn't happen. She wished that she was wearing her seatbelt. She wished that she never lost her memory. The gaps in her memory caused more harm than good. As she's standing, she pulls her cell phone out of her pocket, sparking Landon's attention, "What are you doing?" She ignores him as she goes to her photo app. As she opens the pictures, her eyes fall onto the first one, and she immediately starts swiping. Picture after picture, she took in the sight, the people and the smiles. From the look on her face, she was absolutely, genuinely happy. There were selfies of her, photos of her with Voight, her with her husband, and her with Burgess, Ruzek, or someone from her unit.
Erin swiped once more, and the picture resting on the screen of her phone caused her breath to hitch in her throat. She leaned her back against the wall and pressed her hand against her forehead, "I just want to remember Landon."
"Maybe you're not supposed to," he shrugs, rising from the bed. He walks over to the vulnerable woman and takes a look at the picture on her screen. It was of her and Halstead. The two were in a loving lip lock. The young detective exits out of the photo and sets her phone down upon the nightstand, "I'm running to the restroom," he leans towards her and pecks her forehead. Every part of her felt guilty and ashamed, but the part of her that knew Landon, felt comforted by his presence. She walked over to the bed and flopped down. Her eyes occasionally falling upon the cellular device, and before she knew what she was doing, she picked her cell up and called her husband. It rings for a second, and he answers on the next, "Hello? Erin."
She's quiet for a few seconds, before responding, "Jay."
"How are you?"
"I'm not okay," her voice cracks, "I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to do. I just want all of this behind me, but I can't put it there because I don't remember."
"How about we meet each other for breakfast tomorrow morning?" she could sense a small smile pulling at his lips, "I'm willing to cook for you again."
"I like that idea."
Jay sighs in relief, "Do you need me to pick you up tomorrow?"
"No," she kicks off her shoes, "I'll get my mother to drop me off in the morning before she heads into work. I'll be there pretty early."
"I'll be up."
Erin walks over to the bed she shares with her mother. She pulls the covers back, and slides into the warm comfort of the mattress and blankets, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'm looking forward to it," he hesitates briefly, before adding, "I love you."
She's quiet, and seconds before she hangs up, she whispers, "Yeah." Following her last word, she ends the call. Erin sets her phone down upon the nightstand, fluffs up the pillow before pressing her head down upon it.
As she squeezes her eyes shut, she feels as if the music is louder. She feels the wall shake from the increased volume. People are yelling, laughing and being obnoxiously loud. For a second, it gets louder when Landon enters the room, and it dies down a bit after he closes the door.
"I was just heading to bed," she whispered, pulling the covers up to her shoulders.
Landon shrugs, and takes a seat at the edge of it, "I'll leave when you fall asleep."
"You're being weird." She closes her eyes, however the burning sensation of his eyes staring at her pulls them open, "I can't sleep with you in here, staring at me."
"You're just beautiful," he slides closer to her, "and I've missed you so much." He leans forward and brushes his lips across hers, "I'll let you get some sleep," his words are mumbled as he says them against her lips.
Erin doesn't pull away causing him to smile into the kiss. He feels his body immediately react to the passion of his lips against hers. Without breaking off the lip lock, he uses his free hand to pull the covers back, and slide his hand underneath her shirt. His large hand tugs at her bra, and within seconds she angrily pulls away, ""I'm not sleeping with you." Lindsay presses her hands against his chest and pushes him away, "I'm not planning to sleep with anyone until I understand the last years of my life! Now, leave me alone!" Without a second thought, she rolls over to face the opposite side, pulls the covers over her shoulders and presses her eyes shut. She hears the door open and close, signaling Landon's departure.
Lindsay rolled onto her back, and stared up at the ceiling. The darkness of the room surrounded her, and as she struggled to fall asleep, she felt tears stroll down her cheeks. There was nothing she could do to prevent the outpour of tears, and therefore she allowed them to come. She allowed them to flow, and eventually she allowed them to help her fall asleep.