GoldShipping
Romantic relationships? With cute girls, I'm assuming! Hell yeah, that's awesome! Let me look at this list!
118Shipping – Gold x N
Umm, that creep? Romantically? Uhh, no…
AccidentalShipping – Gold x Whitney
Ugh, why did she have to be the first girl on this list? No way! One girl I'm definitely not attracted to. Plus she's loud and annoying. Being with her would be an accident.
…I am so not blushing, stop asking me about it!
AlchemistShipping – Gold x Jasmine
Jasmine is so cute! I'd like to take her out on a date. But I fear that if it went wrong, she'd sick her Steelix on me…
AlternativeSenpaiShipping – Gold x Red (Origins)
…There's another Red? Who is that guy?
AmberShipping – Gold x Yellow
She's probably the sweetest girl I've ever met…once I realized that she was a girl. Y'know, that wasn't cool. I think Blue did that on purpose.
AquaAuraShipping – Gold x Suicune
…A Pokémon? Someone did warn me about this…
BakuryuShipping – Gold x Clair
Clair is…one chick I wouldn't bother getting close to. I feel that that whip isn't just used for training Pokémon…
BreederBoysShipping – Gold x Brock
Uhh, do I even have to respond to the males? 'Cause I would not be down with dating any of them.
BreedologyShipping – Gold x Professor Juniper
She studies breeding? I've never met her, but I heard she's pretty young. Hmm, wonder what kinda breeding we're talking about? Hahahahahaha! …What?
BromistaShipping – Gold x Whimsicott
…You're kidding, right? What's a bromista?
ButtShipping – Gold x Blue
Bwahaha! Is this because I smacked her ass by accident when I first introduced myself to her? Hey, don't send Silver after me! She is pretty cute, but I think Silver would kill me. I don't like the way Green is looking at me, either.
ChangeShipping – Gold, Crystal x Whitney
So, if I had a death wish, all I'd have to do would be to ask these two on a date at the same time.
CloseToChampionShipping – Gold x Karen
…For some reason, I think that Karen and Clair would go well together… Now that would be hot!
CocksureShipping – Gold x Zinnia
Okay, I dunno who Zinnia is, but the word 'cock' was in this name and I about died.
CorruptedInnocenceShipping – Gold x Giovanni
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so that's a thing…
CreditCardShipping – Gold, Silver (PokéSpe) x Platinum
Haha! That's pretty funny.
DancingUnderTheTajMahalShipping – Gold, Black, Red (PokéSpe), Ruby x X
Um, what?
DarkstoneShipping – Gold x Platinum
Platinum's…unreachable. She doesn't present herself very well. Besides, I think the wall called Diamond and Pearl are in the way.
DreamLineShipping – Gold x Gardevoir
…
We're not going to discuss my time well spent on the Internet…
EchoShipping – Gold x Lance
That guy? You mean, the guy who tried to straight up murder Yellow? That guy?
EggTimerShipping – Gold x Celebi
Look, I know there are some real freaks who are into that kinda thing, but it ain't me.
…Hey, we are not going to discuss the Gardevoir thing.
EngagementShipping – Gold x White
Eh, I don't think so. I think she'd be too busy with her job to pay any attention to me. She'd probably forget that we were even going out, haha.
EyewearShipping – Gold x Ruby
Ruby? Now, he's troubling. I think he acts more like a girl than half of the girls I know.
That's a scary thought.
FalseBreederShipping – Gold x Zoroark
…Okay, so I said there was no point in responding to the males, but I think I'd be more comfortable with that than the Pokémon ones…
FanboyShipping – Gold x DJ Mary
DJ MARY! I LOVE YOU! EVEN THOUGH WHITNEY TOLD YOU TO FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME, BUT YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT YET. I STILL LOVE YOU!
GenderShipping – Gold x Bugsy
…I seriously thought he was a girl…
GolddiggerShipping – Gold, Green (PokéSpe), Red (PokéSpe), Silver (PokéSpe) x Blue
This is, uh, more on Blue's part, right…?
GoldenAuraShipping – Gold x Morty
No.
GoldenBloodShipping – Gold x Giratina
NO!
GoldenBoyShipping – Gold x Jimmy (Legend of Thunder)
…It's like this kid tried way too hard to look like me. There's no way for anyone to look as good as me!
GoldenChanceShipping – Gold x Faitsu
I dunno who she is. Do you guys have a picture?
…Is that Sailor Moon? Regardless, I could score a date with her no problem! What's she's a bad guy? …Eh, I'd still be down.
GoldenRushShipping – Gold x Rakutsu
Uh, is that another dude? I dunno who he is, but my answer's already no.
Wait, he's a womanizer? Well, we would probably get along together very well…or be very intense competitors.
GoldenShipping – Gold x Ethan
…I swear, this was put here after the Jimmy entry just to mess with my head… This kid looks exactly like me. And that's not cool…only one person can be as hot as me and look just like me, and it's me!
GoldsAngelsShipping – Gold, Blue, Crystal, Platinum, Sapphire x Yellow
HALLELUJAH!
HaremTaroShipping - Gold, Crystal, Jasmine, Karen, DJ Mary x Whitney
…DJ Mary was included, but I feel like this whole thing would go terrible for me…
HotBloodShipping – Gold x Pearl
Definitely no, but he a rad friend! Albeit, certainly a hyper one.
ImperialShipping – Gold x Green (PokéSpe)
Green is… No. Definite no.
HotwheelsShipping – Gold x Courtney (Magma)
I heard that Courtney was mega hot, but Ruby told me to stay far away from her for some reason…
Oh wait, is that her? She is pretty smokin'… Wait, is she a member of Team Magma?!
HyacinthusShipping – Gold x Archer
Oh, hell no.
IncautiousShipping – Gold x Bianca (BW)
She's cute, but…maybe a little clumsy. Besides, I think Black and Cheren already have dibs on her. Or is Black going after White?
InfluenceShipping – Gold x Lyra
Now this is just bizarre…she reminds me of a sweeter Crystal. But…I say that because they're nothing alike, but they look very similar…they even where the same clothes! I don't understand what this is about…
InsidiousShipping – Gold x Ariana
I think I should add bad guys to the list of automatic no responses…even though she is female. But she is probably much too old for me, anyway.
IntrusionShipping – Gold x Misty
Misty? Ha, she can strut around in a bikini near me any day!
JutsuShipping – Gold x Janine
Ninjas are cool! And that outfit Janine wears…NINJA SMEXY TIME!
KimonoParadiseShipping – Gold x Kimono sisters
…All of them? At once? Sure!
LimestoneShipping – Gold x Emerald
You must be joking.
MangaQuestShipping – Gold x Crystal
Super Serious Gal? Haha, you're kidding, right? That chick is more barbaric than Sapphire, and that's saying something! Plus, she doesn't know how to take a chill pill, and she hangs out with Green of all people. Green! C'mon, now. There's no way we could work unless I love hospital visits.
NasturtiumShipping – Gold x Diantha
You mean that one movie star from Kalos? Ha, if only.
NoHomoShipping – Gold x Red (game)
Wait, I can't even focus on the name for this one because there's another Red?!
OddDreamShipping – Gold x Fennel
That's the chick who studies people's dreams, right? Uh, yeah, don't ever suggest for her to study my dreams, 'cause, ugh… *Coughs*
OrabellaShipping – Gold x Elesa
That chick is smokin' hot! Too bad she lives in Isshu…and I think maybe her and Skyla have a thing…
PepperShipping – Gold x Black
Oh, no. I thought I was loud, but I'm positive that he's louder than I am with a megaphone.
PixieShipping – Gold x Sylveon
*Sighs*
PokéGearShipping – Gold x Youngster Joey
I think the real question should be if people actually ship this stuff or if you guys just love getting a kick outta this.
PoliShipping – Gold x Red (PokéSpe)
Okay, just because I begged him (or forced him as Crystal says but we don't listen to her) to train me doesn't mean that we did anything. Arceus, where do you guys get these absurd ideas?
PreciousMetalShipping – Gold x Silver (PokéSpe)
What? Now this is the most absurd pairing ever! Silver and I? Oh, hell no. We may be friends or friendly rivals or frienemies or whatever you call it, but that's it. Sheesh, why would people ever pair us together, like, what?
ShamelessShipping – Gold x Diamond
Diamond is head over heels in love with someone else. End of that story.
ShenanigansShipping – Gold, Blue x Zoroark
I'm starting to run out of things to say for these…
SkateParkShipping – Gold x Korrina
She's got the skates, I got the board. She would be really cool to hang with!
SuperSeriousButtShipping – Gold, Crystal x Blue
Bwahahahahahahahaha! Who comes up with this stuff?
TribulationShipping – Gold, Absol, Mismagius x Ninetales
Is this what drives people to drink?
VeratrumShipping – Gold x Roxie
That's one hardcore chick right there. I have yet to see her in concert, but I'm sure she knows how to party!
WhatColorIsTheDressShipping – Gold, Black, Blue x White
I see white and gold. That's what color it is, right?
What? That dress is not black and blue, you are totes joshin' my taters here.
WhirlpoolShipping – Gold x Lugia
…I was paired with so many more Pokémon, but I just skipped 'em all.
WildsideShipping – Gold x Sapphire
Sapphire is the tame Crystal. I don't care if Ruby doesn't agree with me, it's the truth. I could handle her. Now as for dating? I have no idea. I don't think Ruby or Wally would approve.
WindPotentialShipping – Gold x Sabrina
…Uh, this chick is a little too hardcore. Besides, Blue and her may have a thing. What? I'm just saying, I don't know.
Final Thoughts
I got paired with all the hot chicks! And some dudes and Pokémon for some reason. And then the manly girls…
This was weird, I didn't think I would get so stressed out from this. I'm gonna go declare my love for DJ Mary for the eight billionth time or something.