It's been six months since she last saw Bunny and Landon. It has been six months since she had shut them out of her life. Six months since she dealt with the drama they caused. The six months that have passed have been the most peaceful, and stress-free times that she will always remember. With Bunny and Landon out of her life permanently, Erin's life had been quickly easing back on track. She's back at work. She's back to her normal routine. She's back hanging out with her friends and enjoying the life of a married woman.
As her hand intertwines with her husband's hand, the two began their walk along the trail. It was the location of their first date. It became their regular place to talk or to just be in each other's presence. Jay withdraws his hand from hers in order to wrap his arm around her shoulders, "Are you cold? Are you tired? Are you okay?"
"Jay, I'm fine," she chuckles, leaning into him, "You worry too much."
"I'm your husband. I have a right to worry."
"You're a worry wart."
He presses a kiss to her forehead, "Are you up for tonight?"
"You mean for Burgess and Ruzek's anniversary party?" He nods, and she responds, "Of course. I need to get out of the house. No offense babe," she wrapped her arm around his waist, "but I need to see and surround myself with people other than you, Voight and Justin." She rose to the tip of her toes and pecked his lips, "I need human contact before this little nugget comes."
Their heads tilted down and their eyes fell upon her swollen belly. Her four month pregnant bump was covered by her warm sweater, and opened jacket. The moment she suspected she was pregnant was due to Annie's insistence. Annie was convinced that Erin was with child. She pestered the younger woman until she gave in, bought a test and took it. Annie stayed with Erin the remainder of the day until Jay came home. Lindsay was off due to illness, which all made sense when the pregnancy test came back positive.
Once Halstead walked through the door, tired of the day's events, and the caseload that plagued the city for a week, he was ready to pass out on the couch. However the smile on his wife's face and the pep in her step gave him the burst of energy he needed throughout the day.
"If you have good news, I'm in need of some." Jay kicks off his shoes by the door and proceeds to walk further into the house "Are you feeling any better? I don't think I can go to work another day without you by my side. Olinsky's cool, but he's driving me crazy!"
She waved him over, "Annie came over and took care of me."
"Is that so?" His arms circled her waist.
She nods, "Yeah, and as she was trying to nurse me back to health, she realized something."
Halstead interrupts her by pressing his lips against her mouth. He was in desperate need of his wife. When he said he had missed her, it wasn't a lie. It was hard handling such an emotional case without her there. Jay had to already suffer her absence during her sabbatical after the accident, and now he was ready to have his partner back permanently.
"Jay," her lips mumbled against his.
"You're not feeling warm," he slowly pulled away and looked into her eyes, "How's your stomach? Have you been able to eat and keep anything down?"
"I'm not sick."
"That's good," he smiled and pressed his lips against her once again, "I can kiss you as much as I want without fear of getting sick."
"Well, I have some good news…"
"What news can possibly beat you being perfectly healthy?" He brushed a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear.
"It'll top it." Her dimpled smile stretches across her face.
"Alright," with his arms still wrapped around her waist he responds, "let's see what you-"
"I'm pregnant."
Erin remembered that day like it was yesterday. The overgrown smile that stretched across his face, the excitement in his eyes, his arms pulling her into a hug were all indicators of his enthusiasm. He grabbed her waist and lifted her into the air. The young couple spun in the air once before nausea hit Lindsay and the mood was immediately ruined by her swatting him away so she could peacefully run to the restroom.
As the couple continued walking along the lighted pathway, Erin spotted the setting sun. She pulled her husband close as they slowly continued, "What time should we be leaving?"
He glanced at his watch, "…in the next hour or so."
"Erin!" The voice of a familiar person pulls the couple to a stop. The two turn around to be met with the sight of an approaching Bunny, Landon and Teddy.
"What do you want to do?" Halstead asks his wife as the trio slowly approaches them, "It's up to you. You want to stay and talk, yell, hit or claw at them, we can do that. You want to make a run for it; I'm up for that too. It's up to you. I can even carry you over my shoulder if you think that bump of yours will get in the way of us making a clean getaway."
"It's okay Jay," she's smiling. He always knew how to pull a laugh from her. She hadn't seen them in six months. It was inevitable that they would run into each other again. When his arm dropped from around her shoulders, she took a hold of his hand, "Just, don't leave my side."
"…never."
With her sweater buttoned all the way up, Bunny pushed her chilly hands into her pocket. A small smile was tugged at her lips, "Hi Erin." Her voice is low and cautious. She didn't know how her daughter would take her sudden appearance.
"Hi Bunny, what can I help you with?" Her lips were pressed into a straight line and her expression was unreadable, "I see you still associate yourself with him," her head nods in Landon's direction. She doesn't refer to him by name.
"I'm sorry."
"You already said your apologies six months ago. Do you have anything new to say?"
"I love you," Bunny stepped closer to her daughter and pulled her arms out of her pockets, "I miss you. I'm sorry for everything. I wish I could take it back because I would. If I could rewind time Erin, I would. I wasn't thinking."
"Of course you weren't thinking. When have you ever thought about anything you've done?" Erin releases her husband's hand and moves closer to her mother, "When I said I wanted nothing to do with you, I meant it. I want you out of my life. I want you out of all of our lives." Lindsay's hand subconsciously falls to her baby bump.
"You're pregnant," Bunny sighs in relief, "I thought you were getting fat." The joke fell flat. Both Erin and Jay didn't find it funny.
"Goodbye Bunny," Erin turns to leave, but Bunny quickly steps forward.
"Give me another shot! Let's let bygones be bygones. You're going to be a mommy… and that's a time when you'll need yours the most."
Erin couldn't help but chuckle at her mother's words. Lindsay couldn't believe anything that came out of Bunny's mouth. It was all a joke. She was a joke.
"You're ridiculous."
Bunny ignores her comment, "Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?"
"Something is seriously wrong with you Bunny."
"It's mom."
"Mom is reserved for your children." Erin's words stung her mother. She could see the clear hurt written across Bunny's face, but she truly didn't care. Bunny didn't care about Erin getting hurt and the feeling is now mutual.
"Let's not do this Erin. Landon and Teddy apologized to you…that should be enough! Gosh, what else are we supposed to do to show you how sorry we are! You are impossible to please!"
"I'm not going to dignify any of that with a response."
"Ever since Voight put his claws in you, you've been uppity. You think you're better than all of us! Well, I hate to break it to you Erin Lindsay, but you're not."
Lindsay turned to leave, "Goodbye Bunny." She takes a hold of her husband's hand.
"Erin, wait!" She hears Landon's voice instead of her mother's whining tone.
Landon may have gotten a slap on the wrist by his trial judge, but he wasn't so lucky with Voight. If Hank found out about this little conversation and the fact that Landon was here, in her presence, he would hunt Landon down.
"I didn't want to hear what Bunny had to say so what could possibly make you think I want to hear what you have to say."
"I just want to say congratulations," his head nods towards her baby bump, "for the baby. You'll make a great mother."
"I had a good role model in Camille," the honest remark hurt Bunny.
Jay wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder, "We should be getting out of here." He looked to his wife's former family, "I would say it was a pleasure, but it wasn't."
"Erin," Teddy spoke up; eyes looking everywhere, except his sister's direction, "I know you don't care what I have to say, but, just in case there's a tiny part of you that does, I apologize for my part in it. I take full responsibility." Lindsay says nothing. The woman simply nods her head.
Jay ushers his wife away from them. He could see the hurt expression on her face. It would soon pass, especially if they talked about it. As they began heading back to their car -their nightly walk cut off by unwanted company- he decided to speak, "Want to talk about it?"
"Why do I still feel…angry?"
"…because the people you trusted broke that trust. It'll take time to get over it."
"Do you think I should forgive them?"
"I don't want to make that decision for you," Jay leads his wife down the pathway.
"I want your honest opinion Jay. You're my husband. You have a say."
"Honestly," he whispers and she nods, patiently waiting for his response, "they had two times to make it up to you and they screwed both chances up. Don't give them another chance to do it." His eyes quickly glance down to her belly, "And I honestly don't want my baby anywhere near them. They poison everything they touch and I would kill them if they did that to my baby."
"Okay," she whispers, accepting his words.
"I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, no," she shakes her head, tugging on his jacket and pulling him closer, "I'm glad you did. I don't want anything to do with them. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a bad person in feeling the way I did. They apologized multiple times and I can't forgive them…no matter how hard I try…so I'm not trying anymore. I'm cutting them off. I want to forget about them, and I felt bad for thinking that. Does that make me a horrible person?"
"…not at all." He pressed his lips against her forehead, "I wasn't trying to sound controlling. I just don't want to lose you again."
"You won't," she hugs him.
Her arms clench tightly around him as if at any moment he would pull away. He had no intention. The hug was going to end on her terms. Her hand pressed against the back of his head and she lightly pecked a kiss against his cheek, "I love you."
"I love you too." He responds returning a kiss against her cheek, "I could stay like this."
She pulls back, "Unfortunately, we're already behind schedule. We should really be heading to Burgess and Ruzek's place. They won't be able to have a good time without their best friends there. Let's go…and no pulling over for some quick hanky panky," she winks.
"We definitely learned our lesson," he takes a hold of her hand, "We're driving straight there. No unplanned stops and no late night fun while behind the wheel."
"Is that our new rule?"
"Yeah," Erin's hand falls to her stomach, "it's not just us anymore."
His hand sits on top of hers, "Can you believe we're going to be parents?"
"I know," her eyes widen, "it's kind of exciting and scary at the same time. We, you and I, Halstead and Lindsay as parents…it's crazy."
The couple continues their walk to their parallel parked car. As Jay approaches the passenger door, he opens it for his wife, "It's going to be a challenge," he holds her hand as he helps her safely and gently get inside the vehicle, "but I'm up for it as long as I have you by my side."
"We're partners at work, in marriage…and now in parenthood. We got this." He shuts the door.
Once it was safe, Jay jogged around to the driver's side, and quickly hopped inside, "We're going to grow tired of each other," he laughs as he buckles his seat belt.
"As long as you give me my occasional space and you don't get on my nerves during this pregnancy, we should be fine."
"I'll try." He checks her seat belt to assure himself that it's locked, "We have so much to do in the next few months…and I have a feeling that they'll fly by."
"I already started reading one of the pregnancy books Annie got me."
Jay starts the car, and safely pull out of his parking spot, "I haven't had the chance to crack open the one she got me."
"Jay!"
"What?" He's driving a little below the speed limit when he turns to eye her hastily, "I've been a little busy. I've been talking to Olinsky and Dawson though. They gave me advice that a book could never give me."
"Oh yeah," she crosses her arms, "like what?"
"Besides the fact that you're going to be extra hormonal these next few months, including the months following delivery," she smacks his arm as he continues, "they told me to always remember that the reason for the hormone shift is because you're carrying our little nugget," he extends his hand to place over her stomach, "You'll request unusual cravings and the least I could do is get the food for you. You'll want your feet and back rubbed and I should be up for it. You'll want to vent about the most irrelevant things and I should listen. You'll want to cry and I'll comfort. You'll want to pig out and I'll be right next to you. You'll want to call yourself fat, a whale and every other name in the book and I'll be there to compliment you. You'll constantly shift in the bed to find a comfortable spot and I shouldn't complain. As the pregnancy progresses, you'll need help tying your shoes and I'll be there to tie them. I'll help you walk down the stairs. I'll help you sit down and stand up. I'll drive you anywhere you want to go regardless of the time. I'll do anything to make sure that you and the baby are okay, and it's not out of duty, but out of love." He pulls his hand away as he notices her speechless face, "See," he grins, turning onto the highway, "I learned some things that a pregnancy book won't teach me."
Erin's silent. She literally has the best husband in the entire world. She's speechless. She opens her mouth to respond, but she can't think of the words to say. Nothing comes to mind. When one sentence comes to mind, she realizes that it doesn't fully explain everything she's thinking. Lindsay allows the silence to encompass their car. They're on the highway, and as minutes pass, they grow closer and closer to their best friends' house. She's blinking hard. His words on constant replay through her head, and without any control, tears begin falling from her eyes.
"I love you so much." She thinks of the words. They're simple, yet they're everything.
He picks up her hand and presses his lips against each knuckle. Her words didn't need a response. The couple allowed them to float through the air.
As they pull in front of the home of their closest friends, Erin takes in the packed driveway. Her house was filled with people. Lindsay could even see the few parallel spots in front of the house were filled. With her hand still in her husband's hand, she turned to face him, "Where are we supposed to park? All of the spaces are filled."
"I'll drive around to find a spot. Just in case it's far, I don't want you to have to walk so go ahead and hop out. Tell Burgess and Ruzek I'll be there in a few."
"I'll walk with you."
"Your feet-"
"…are fine." She finished, squeezing his hand gently, "I love Burgess and Ruzek, I do, and I'm excited to see them, but my goodness, how many freaking people do they know? I don't want to…I can't be around all of those strangers for hours. I don't think I'm up for that."
With no objection, Jay slowly drove down the road until he spotted the first empty parking space. After making sure it wasn't in front of anyone's property, he parallel parked into it. Before unbuckling his seat, he turned to look at her, "The moment you're ready to leave, we're leaving."
"I'll be fine Jay," she opened her car door and stepped outside.
"I know you'll be fine," he jogged around the car to walk alongside her, "I'm just saying, we haven't really been to a party in months…and the last anniversary party we went to was ours."
She chuckles, "You worry too much."
Halstead was not expecting her to laugh. Usually the subject of their accident or last year's anniversary was avoided. Neither usually brought it up and when one did, it was usually a serious conversation.
"You can't drink so you'll be the designated driver tonight," Jay whispered, taking a hold of her hand, "I don't think I'll be able to get through this night without a drink."
"…well, thanks a lot."
"We both shouldn't have to suffer," Jay laughed in response. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.
Erin walked along the sidewalk, hand clasped in her husband's hold, as the chilled wind blew through their hair. She pressed her body against her husband's form to get a feel of his body heat. Her feet soon began to ache, but she refused to complain about it to her husband. He would simply say I told you so and she would rather suffer than hear those words coming from him.
"I'm going to hate maternity leave," her low voice mumbled filling the silent air of the night.
"How could you hate maternity leave when you'll have a bundle of joy to hang with," he responded, hearing the music blasting from the Ruzeks' house, "It'll be fun and I'll be with you."
"Fun? I'll be bored. And you'll be with me for only a few weeks AFTER the baby is born!"
"I doubt you'll be bored. The little nugget will definitely keep you busy."
She chuckled and shook her head, "I don't doubt that, but I'll be bored waiting for the baby to come. Soon Voight is going to have me stay home and I won't be able to come into work. Desk duty is not fun, but I would rather do that than stay home. Yesterday, when I stayed home because I was too tired and sick to come in, I watched the dog Jay; I watched our freaking dog chase its tail for 20 minutes. And do you want to know the sad part?" She feels him nod his head as he suppresses a chuckle, "the sad part is that for a few minutes I actually thought wow, dogs are easily entertained, and then I freaking remembered that I watched him chase his tail for 20 minutes. Jay, I'm a badass, right?" She could hear him agree, "I don't want to lose that just because I'm having a baby."
"You won't lose that," he pulls her even closer to brush his lips against her forehead, "You're as badass as they come…and becoming a mother has made you an even bigger badass. We're here. Are you sure you're up for this?"
"Of course, there's no need to worry," she pulled away from her husband and stood confidently, "Mama Halstead got this." As she begins to walk, she abruptly stops in order to turn and face him, "But I swear Jay, if a stranger rubs my belly-"
"No stranger is going to rub your stomach."
"You would think they would know not to do that. I mean," she's following behind her husband as she rants, "I don't freaking see a sign that says petting zoo hanging from my forehead." Erin catches up to her husband, "I don't have enough fingers to count how many times a person I didn't know rubbed my belly. I just want it to be said, if a stranger pets my stomach, I'm going to scream and I won't be able to control my actions."
He threw his arm around her shoulders, "Come on my little badass."
Erin chuckles as she follows her husband's lead up to the front door of their friends' home. The door was unlocked, awaiting their arrival, and the young couple stepped inside.
"About damn time," Burgess shouts over the music. The young officer races up to Erin's side, and pulls her from Jay's hold. Lindsay gave her husband one last glance before being pulled into the dining room. Halstead stayed back and headed into the living room to find Ruzek.
"How is my little niece or nephew?" Kim stooped low to be eye level with Erin's stomach, "Your auntie Kim loves you so much!" She pets her friend's stomach, "And I can't wait to see your little face and babysit you and just kiss your chubby cheeks!"
"Burgess," Lindsay pulls her friend back to a standing position, "I don't mind you making kissy sounds and petting my stomach because you're my best friend and I love you like a sister, but your other friends are watching…and I don't know them…and they're smiling creepily…and I swear to you that if one of them touch my belly due to the influence of pregnancy hormones I will either start crying or kill them."
The grin on Kim's face stretches out, "No strangers touching belly, got it," She turned to her friends and could see that they had heard Erin's warning.
"Happy Anniversary!" Erin announced, a genuine smile forming on her face, "I'm so happy for and Ruzek. And Jay and I have a gift for you two."
"You know I love presents…not that you had to get me one."
"Get your husband so we can tell you what it is."
With a few glasses of alcohol in her system, Kim picked up the pep in her step. She went into the living room in search of her husband. Erin quietly made a plate, trying to block out the loud music and the side eye from a few of Burgess flight attendant friends. As seconds passed, she felt arms wrap around her from behind, "I was beginning to think you ditched me."
"I could never," he whispered against her ear, "I was with Ruzek, but Burgess just got him. She said something about a present from us. The gift isn't here yet."
She turned in his arms with the plate secured between her fingers, "We could still tell them. I'm excited to see the look on their faces."
"They won't be able to hear us over all of these people and this horrible music."
"We'll go outside," she spots Burgess and Ruzek from over her husband's shoulder, "…to the backyard." Erin shouted, pointing towards the backdoor.
Jay was the last to step outside. He closed the door behind him, muffling the sound of the blaring music. With Burgess' hand in his, Ruzek rocked back and forth on his feet, "Guys, you didn't have to get us anything."
"We know we didn't," Erin was the first to speak up, looking between their best friends.
Halstead spoke after his wife, "Yeah, I told Lindsay our friendship with you guys was enough. There's no price you can put on it."
"You guys are funny," Ruzek dryly comments.
"Okay, so is it a group gift or is it a separate gift?...like one for me and one for Ruzek?"
Erin intertwined her fingers and smiled, "It's a group gift."
"Should we close our eyes?" Burgess was overly excited. She told everyone not to bring a gift. They didn't want anything, but for their closest family and friends to come out and help them celebrate the anniversary of her marriage to the love of her life.
"It's not here yet," Jay scratched the back of his head.
"What do you mean?" Ruzek is confused. He's looking between his two friends, "What is it?"
"…this," Erin whispers, placing her hands upon her round belly.
"You're giving us your baby."
The confusion on Ruzek's face combined with his words spark a laugh from Erin and Jay. Burgess says nothing. She's just as confused as her husband.
"No, we're not giving you our baby," Jay clarifies, looking to his wife to further explain.
"We want you to be baby Halstead's godparents."
"Godparents," Kim's small voice whispers.
"Yes godparents." Erin's nodding assuredly.
"I…I thought," tears are forming within Kim's eyes, "I thought you would want Annie and her husband to be your baby's godparents. You've known her longer and I wasn't going to press the issue. I just assumed. I was fine with it, but I-"
"Kim, sweetie," Ruzek steps in front of his wife, "you're rambling."
She agrees, "I am."
"Annie's great. She's one of my best friends, but so are you guys." Erin replies, approaching Kim, and taking a hold of her hand, "You really stepped up after the accident." She reached for Ruzek and pulled him close, "both of you did. You never gave up on me. You were there for Jay. You were strong and supportive through it all…and I don't know if I ever told you both thanks."
"You're going to make me cry." Burgess is wiping at her eyes.
"Life is short. If something were to happen to me and Erin, we want to know that our baby is in great hands; trustworthy hands. We want our baby to be loved and cared for by the best." Jay approaches his wife and friends, "…and you two are the best; the best friends anyone could have. So," Jay is smiling hard, "we gave you our spill. Don't feel pressured into accepting…it's a lot to take in, so take your-"
"We accept," Ruzek spoke up for him and his wife, "Gosh man, of course we accept."
Kim is a ball of tears. Tear after tear is rolling down her cheek. She accepted from the moment Lindsay told them. Burgess opens her mouth, not trusting her voice and speaks, "You guys are the best friends anyone could ever want."
"…the feeling is mutual." Erin agrees.
"Does this mean I can rub your stomach whenever I like?"
"I don't mind you Kim; it's strangers that I have the problem with."
"I love you guys," Kim's voice quivers at her admittance, "Can we hug now?"
Lindsay nods at Burgess, "Of course."
The moment the words left Erin's mouth Burgess threw her arms around her. She extended her hand out and waved for Jay and Adam to join in on the hug.
"What's going on out here?" Voight's voice interrupts the moment as he exits the house. The friends pull away to see Hank, Mouse, Dawson, Olinsky, Atwater and Roman.
"Now the whole team's here," Erin claps, wiping at her eyes, "It's the pregnancy hormones."
"…then why is Burgess crying?" Atwater points out, "Unless she's-"
"No, no!" Burgess shouts, waving off his insinuation, "No kids for us," she points between her and Ruzek, "well, unless you count our godbaby."
Hank smiled, "You told them."
"We just did."
"Congratulations guys." Dawson spoke up, patting Ruzek on the back.
"We should get back to the party," Roman spoke up, scratching the back of his head nervously, "I hate to be that guy but neighbors have already complained about the noise…and I think a few of your high school buddies Ruzek broke a few things in the living room."
"Are you serious?" Ruzek pressed his fingers against the center of his forehead, "Thanks again Erin and Jay. You guys won't regret it. Hopefully we're not too good; I can't guarantee you that the kid won't want to move in with us." He jogged back into his home.
"I guess I should help him," Burgess whispered, tugging on Erin's hand, "We're going out for lunch tomorrow…we have a lot to talk about…more so, the moment you and Jay realized we would be the perfect godparents."
"Got it," Erin saluted, watching as her friend jogged after Ruzek.
Seconds following the squad reentered the home, leaving Erin and Jay outside in the chilly night. Lindsay set her hand atop her belly bump, "I'm happy with our decision."
"Same," he wrapped his arms around her waist, "…the looks on their faces were priceless."
"I wish we had recorded it," she chuckles, turning in his arms, "You know, pretty soon, I won't be able to fit in your arms anymore."
"You'll always fit in my arms." He presses a kiss against her lips, "Are you ready to head back inside? We can stay out a little longer if you're not up to it."
"Yeah, I'm ready."
"You're not going to bite anyone's head off, are you?"
"Nope."
"You're not going to cry?"
"Not at all."
"If you want to do either, I got your back."
"Well aren't you the best husband."
"For better or worse, remember?"
She nods, "For better or worse."
