RubyShipping
Shipping? Hmm, I don't know. I'm too caught up in beautifying my Pokémon to really focus on a relationship, but let me look at this list. This might be interesting.
220VoltsShipping – Ruby x Faitsu
Hmm, I don't think I know who she is.
AwkwardPositionShipping – Ruby x Zinnia
No, no, no. This girl…her Salamence is the one that gave me this horrific scar! No effort needs to be made to negotiate anything with this chick.
BalancedFamilyShipping – Ruby, Max, Norman x May
Huh? What is this?
BloodOrbShipping – Ruby x Brendan
…Who is that guy? He looks just like me!
ChildAbuseShipping – Ruby x Norman
My father? ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS?
Um, I'm not even gonna comment on the abuse thing…
ContestIncestShipping – Ruby, Drew, Max, Norman, Caroline x May
W-what? I don't even know most of these people!
CrossedRegionShipping – Ruby x Crystal
Crystal's rad. She aims to catch every Pokémon in existence, which I think is awesome. But…what about all the ugly Pokémon?
DancingUndertTheTajMahalShipping – Ruby, Black, Gold, Red (PokéSpe) x X
Uh, run that one by me again?
DefinitelyNotSapphireShipping – Ruby x May
Whoa, who is that? The name is deceiving me, that is obviously not Sapphire! Right…?
EyewearShipping – Ruby x Gold
He's pretty explosive and rash. Like a male version of Sapphire. He has this thing for breeding Pokémon…
AND BABY POKÉMON ARE SO CUTE! BEAUTY IS DIFFERENT, SURE, BUT CUTE POKÉMON, ADSFAFAJK [not able to form proper words]!
FabFiveShipping – Ruby, Wallace, Juan, Harley x Tucker
…WHAT? WHAT IS THIS IMPLYING?
FamilyAffairShipping – Ruby, Norman, May x Nurse Joy
WHAT IS THIS?
FancyKingShipping – Ruby x Lisia
Lisia is a grand contest idol! I really look up to her.
FantabulousShipping – Ruby x himself
While I am quite fabulous, I am appalled that anyone would imply that I am in a relationship with myself…
FemmeContestShipping – Ruby x Harley
Femme? As in female? As far as I know, neither Harley nor I are girls…
But before I heard Harley's voice, I could swear he was a woman…
FeralSoulShipping – Ruby x Silver (PokéSpe)
Silver's a pretty distant kid. I'm not sure what his deal is.
FranticShipping – Ruby x Sapphire
Sapphire's a really good friend of mine. We had a huge rivalry at first, but I'm glad we're close friends now. She gets upset with me randomly from time to time, yelling things about Mirage Island, which I have no idea what she's talking about. She never mentions specifically what it's about, she just punches me and runs off.
That said, I get my revenge by picking on her. She hates the nickname 'barbarian'. Haha!
…That doesn't mean anything. Picking on her. It's just funny to me.
GlassesShipping – Ruby x Max
Who's Max?
…And who keeps singing 'Max and Ruby?' What does that even mean?
GrandeurDanceShipping – Ruby x Tate
I wouldn't say I'm too close with any of the Hoenn Gym Leaders besides Wallace.
GroomersShipping – Ruby x Daisy Oak
Green's sister and an expert at Pokémon grooming. I take a lot of tips from her. She's also really nice. I have no idea how she's related to Green.
ImbalancedFamilyShipping – Ruby, Max, Norman, Caroline, May x Norman's wife
STOP THIS.
InnerBeautyShipping – Ruby x Mimi (Feebas)
The Feebas? Ugh, I have to say it was the ugliest thing I had even seen, but…
I'm referring to what it evolved into! Sheesh, why are you guys pairing me with a Pokémon?
IshiShipping – Ruby x Steven Stone
Eh, I wasn't sure how to feel about him at first, but he's not a bad guy.
LightjewelShipping – Ruby x Platinum
Platinum makes me wonder how she's really like. I feel like she's got a hidden, possibly perky personality under that monotone expression of hers.
LoveScarShipping – Ruby x Rakutsu
I don't know who Rakutsu is, either.
MagmajewelShipping – Ruby x Courtney
I don't understand why people pair her and I together so much. Maybe she had some weird crush on me, but no, no, not me. Yelch.
MetroShipping – Ruby x Wallace
Okay, Wallace and I were close, but not that close…
MisnomerShipping – Ruby x Pearl
Pearl's a cool person, but he's kinda like Gold, Sapphire and coffee mixed together. You can only handle so much at a time.
MistakeShipping – Ruby x Wanda
She looks so much like Wally, it really freaked me out. I can't believe they're only cousins.
MorganiteShipping – Ruby x Yellow
Yellow's such a kind girl. Who wouldn't like her?
MudSlapShipping – Ruby x Mumu (Swampert)
…Who tried to pair me with my Swampert?
NetShipping – Ruby x Mr. Briney
That old guy? Haha, no.
NoInterestShipping – Ruby x Brawly
No interest is right.
RaltsShipping – Ruby x Wally
Wally's my best friend, besides Sapphire. And I guess Emerald. But I feel that he's the person I can talk to the most about any problems I have. He's a really sweet kid and I really enjoy his company.
RedHueShipping – Ruby x Red (PokéSpe)
Red…the king of battling. While I'm not a fan of how his Pokémon get so dirty fighting so much, Red himself is a nice guy. He should enter his Espeon in a contest; I'm sure it could win all kinds of competitions…
I'm still trying. JUST LET ME BORROW IT ONCE, PLEASE.
RedRedShipping – Ruby x Flannery
Like I said, I don't know the Hoenn Leaders very well. But they probably take very good care of their Pokémon, I'd love to learn any techniques they have.
RevolverShipping – Ruby x Emerald
Emerald? Oh gosh, no, haha.
ScarShipping – Ruby x Groudon
…What?
SignetShipping – Ruby x Green (PokéSpe)
Such a serious guy. He asked me once why I liked contests so much. When I went on a tangent about it, it took me awhile to realize he had walked away…
SpazztasticShipping – Ruby, Emerald x Pearl
I am not a spazz!
Hey! Who said that?
SubmarineShipping – Ruby x Blaise
Ugh, this guy is horrendous! He's probably right above the level of how disturbed I am being paired with a Pokémon…
SummerbeautyShipping – Ruby x Blue
Besides Sapphire, Blue's probably my best female friend. Unlike Sapphire, she actually likes clothes! She borrows a lot of the unwanted dresses from Sapphire.
SuperstarAgencyShipping – Ruby x White
White's another close female friend of mine. She runs an agency that puts gorgeous Pokémon on TV, that is just amazing! I let her borrow some of my own Pokémon to put in commercials all the time.
ToukaFamilyShipping – Ruby, Max, Norman, Caroline x May
IS THERE SOMETHING DAD IS NOT TELLING ME.
TravialShipping – Ruby x Mimi (Milotic)
Stop with the Pokémon! Just because my Pokémon are beautiful doesn't mean I'm attracted to them!
TripantsShipping – Ruby x Cheren
…This kid wears some really tight pants…
TripleBeautyShipping – Ruby, Steven Stone x Wallace
Certainly! I meant the beauty part, not…us being in a relationship…
WaiterShipping – Ruby x Diamond
I hang out with Diamond sometimes. He helps Platinum and I with making poffins for our Pokémon. Such a brilliant chef!
WrongStrategyShipping – Ruby x Black
No, I take back what I said about Gold earlier: this is the male Sapphire. Very loud and obnoxious, wowwie.
Final Thoughts
Well, the Pokémon and Blaise kinda threw me off, but it wasn't too bad. Also, who the hell are Caroline, Max and May?
…And what's Sapphire's deal? What the hell happened on Mirage Island that I should know about?