Chapter 18- A Fleeting Moment of Beauty
It had been about three weeks since Ben and Kira Ann had arrived on Wa-sta. During all their waking hours they spent most of their time researching and digging dirt that could lead to Justice Lee. Though they found small things, transactions of mysterious money and odd phone calls, none of it could fully link to any major crime. The two worked together shifting through the data, occasionally taking small breaks, but none of them were allowed outside. Only General Samuel was allowed to go in and out of the safe house. When he came over he did bring over food, books (mainly pregnancy books), and movies to keep the two entertained. Though General Samuel still didn't trust Ben, he did get over the fact that Kira Ann wasn't going to leave him anytime soon.
By the first week Kira Ann was already beginning to show a little, which helped to determine how far she was along. Every evening, Ben would read to Kira Ann in one of the pregnancy books General Samuel had brought over. If they weren't researching Justice Lee, then they were researching about the baby. Ben was especially consistent on that. Morning, noon, and night Ben would read each and every pregnancy, parental, and child development book that was given to him. Kira Ann predicted that Ben just wanted to be as prepared as possible for when the baby came. He was also consistent in asking General Samuel if Kira Ann could visit a doctor, so they can check on the baby. At first, he advised that it would be a bad idea since it would reveal their location. However, after Ben's constant persistence, General Samuel decided to find a private doctor that could check on the baby. General Samuel planned a for an early appointment at the crack of dawn, so no one would be able to see the doctor come or leave.
After spending the entire day looking at bank record and suspected allies, Kira Ann and Ben decided to call it a day. Kira Ann was standing in the bathroom looking at the mirror. She had just come out of the shower and was inspecting her hair. She hadn't cut it in over a year, so her hair reached all the way to her butt. Taking a pair of scissors, Kira Ann began to cut her hair until it reached midway to her back. She was going to cut it all off and just have a bob, but she liked having long hair. When she worked for the government, she couldn't have her hair too long because it could then get caught in something easily. After cutting her hair, she then braided it and walked out of the bathroom. Ben was on the floor meditating as usual. As long as Kira Ann could remember Ben would meditate once in the morning and once at night (after he showered). Kira Ann would always patiently wait until Ben was done; sitting down on the bed and picked up one of the books Ben was reading. Saving the page Ben was on, Kira Ann briefly skimmed the book to see what he was reading. Most of the information dealt with was about embryo development, baby development, and useful tricks as a parent. It all seemed to overwhelm Kira Ann by just skimming through the pages.
"Doing some research?" asked Ben as he sat near the edge of the bed.
"Just a little bit," she confessed, "I just didn't realize how much stuff there is to know… to prepared for."
"Yeah, it's a bit overwhelming."
It was nice to hear Ben say that, only because it ensured Kira Ann that they were both in the same boat. "Can I tell you something?" Kira Ann asked quietly. "Anything," said Ben as he scooted closer to Kira Ann. She paused for a moment before speaking her mind. "When I was younger I never wanted kids. My parents never had a good relationship, both of them were workaholics, and my mom was the only one who tried to have the 'perfect' family. Even when I came to the temple I never wanted children, but…. after we started to get to know each other, it made me want to have a family with you. Being with you… though we both have our problems, we were still able to be happy because we had each other. I defiantly wasn't expecting to have kids now, but I never got to ask if you are truly ok with this."
Ben waited a long while before answering; he honestly didn't want to answer, but he knew he didn't have a choice. "I never wanted kids. Before I met you I didn't want to run the risk of having a child that ended up just like me. Powerful and destructive. Inside I'm scared that we might be creating monsters like me. I read and read these parent manuals and I feel like will it ever be enough?"
"We'll never know until we get there," said Kira Ann patiently. "All we can do is be there for our child. To love our child. If it wasn't for my mom being there for me who knows how I'd end up." Ben thought about what Kira Ann had said. For someone who was excited about having the baby, she was quiet calm; Ben had literally said that he was not sure about having a child and Kira Ann took it like it wasn't a surprise to her.
"My parents were never there for me," said Ben sadly. "It was always work or each other. I was mad at them for a very long time, but after thinking about it, my parents were just trying to make sure the galaxy was safe. After the Empire fell there was a lot to do and my parents helped to rebuild it, in their own way. If only I had realized that sooner." Ben had never talked about how he felt about his parents much, it always seemed like a sore spot even after he had told Kira Ann about his father's death. Kira Ann lightly placed her hand on Ben's left cheek, touching his fading scare. To be honest, Kira Ann wasn't mad, in fact, she understood why Ben had his concerns. It could have been worse; Ben could have left or just given up, but he didn't.
"From the sound of it, you really want to be a part of our child's life because your parents couldn't always be. You sound more concerned about having a child rather than not wanting to have children."Before he could say anything, however, the phone rang to disrupt the silence. Kira Ann was about to get up, but Ben motioned her to stay and he would get the phone. It was probably General Samuel checking in on them. As Ben answered the phone he could hear some sort of noise from the other side of the phone.
"I guess you can up it that way. I mean sure our child could be completely normal, but with the force, everything gets complicated."Before he could say anything, however, the phone rang to disrupt the silence. Kira Ann was about to get up, but Ben motioned her to stay and he would get the phone. It was probably General Samuel checking in on them. As Ben answered the phone he could hear some sort of noise from the other side of the phone.
"We live in a complicated world. I'm sure my genes won't help either, but I intend to be a part of this child's life. Do you?" Ben gave a small nod. "Then I think we shouldn't think of every bad thing that could possibly happen to our child. If something comes up we'll face it. But right now, let's just prepare for what is going to happen and not worry until we have to." Ben felt his heart lighten a bit, perhaps because this big fear suddenly didn't feel so important at the moment. Kira Ann was right about one thing, worrying won't help. Before he could thank Kira Ann, however, the phone rang to disrupt the silence. Kira Ann was about to get up, but Ben motioned her to stay and he would get the phone. It was probably General Samuel checking in on them. As Ben answered the phone he could hear some sort of noise from the other side of the phone.
"Ben, how is Kira Ann?" Ben was always spooked how General Samuel always knew it was him.
"She's fine, just frazzled somewhat."
"Well, I was going to tell her that the latest information she gave me might actually help crack her father."
"How so?" whispered Ben, not wanting Kira Ann to hear this news just yet.
"You gave me normal public banking records, but there is a huge slip of money that went to an anonymous person. It looks like Justice Lee personally took cash out of his bank, four years ago. This is also the night before Kira Ann had her incident."
"Are you sure it's a lead? I mean it's a coincidence, but I don't want to rial Kira Ann up for nothing."
"I don't want to either," said General Samuel, "what I'm suggesting is that Justice Lee wanted Kira Ann dead long before you two encounter with the mercenaries."
"I'm not going to tell her until your positive," said Ben, "she has enough to worry about."
"I think you both do." After saying that, General Samuel hung up the phone. Putting down the phone, Ben turned around to see Kira Ann on the bed asleep. Thankful that he didn't have to explain himself, Ben hopped into bed beside her.
…
"It seems like you're in perfect health, Kira Ann. I'm going to invite your husband inside now so you can both be present for the ultrasound." Doctor Peterson had just gone over a basic check up on Kira Ann; the checkup went by smoothly and all Kira Ann's worries seemed to go away at the moment. Ben had not been present, recommended by Doctor Peterson since there were some female things to be checked on that Ben would not want to be present in. Ben entered and sat next to Kira Ann on the bed, slightly stroking her hair as a greeting. "She's perfectly healthy Ben. We're just going to do the ultrasound."
"What's an ultrasound?" asked Ben.
"It's a machine that allows us to see what stage the baby is doing. It'll help me ballpark how far along Kira Ann is." Doctor Peterson then started to prep Kira Ann for the ultrasound; she had brought a mini ultrasound with her. After placing the cream on Kira Ann stomach, Doctor Peterson then turned on the machine and placed the tracking probe on Kira Ann.
At first, Ben was quite confused in what he saw; the image was black and white, but there were two small circle-ish figures. Doctor Peterson also played the heart beat of the baby; it wasn't very loud, but it really added an element to the moment. Ben suddenly felt butterflies in his chest, but it was a good feeling. Kira Ann then felt Ben's hand slowly gripped her hand. Both of them just reveled in the sight of seeing and hearing their unborn baby for the first time. "It looks like you're almost to the end of your first trimester. I can't determine the sex of the babies, but perhaps in a few more weeks." When the two of them didn't answer, then Doctor Peterson decided to let them have their moment. After Ben and Kira Ann reveled in the moment, Kira Ann then asked Doctor Peterson a question.
"Can we have a picture?" she asked.
"Of course. It can't print them out now, but maybe our next meeting I can give you the photos then?" Ben and Kira Ann both nodded. As Doctor Peterson was cleaning up, Kira Ann sat up a bit on the bed and looked her lover. Ben hadn't said or moved since seeing the ultrasound. She was about to say something, but Ben beat her to the punch.
"It's realer when you see the baby for the first time." Said Ben as he turned around. "I knew the baby was mine…ours, but after seeing an image the baby really is ours. And it's coming."
"It is crazy," commented Kira Ann, "and it's ok to be afraid. I know I am."
Before Ben could say anything, a bullet from the window shot into the room and shot Doctor Peterson in the shoulder. Both Ben and Kira Ann leap off the bed behind the headboard before a bunch of bullets started firing into the room.