AN: Thanks again to all the readers and reviewers!

"Without a Heart"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 3

Pinky toes, middle toes, big toes . . . pinky toes, middle toes, big toes . . .

Han could still wiggle his toes, which meant his body hadn't completely wasted away yet. All right, now the fingers. Pinky fingers, ring fingers, middle fingers, pointer fingers, thumbs. He could still wiggle those too. Carefully, he pressed his wrists and ankles against the restraints that held them, bringing fresh pain to the sores that had developed. Good, his arms and legs could still move too.

The sound droned on, in, out, in, out, in, out, never ending, always drilling into his ears, keeping him on edge, bringing images of Vader into his mind no matter how much he tried to push them out. Would he ever get used to his new form of breathing?

Then again, would he live long enough to get used to it?

A stormtrooper entered the room, saying nothing as he (or she?) approached Han and began examining the device in his chest.

"Hey," Han said, still not used to his new raspy voice, "I was just wonderin', do the amenities here happen to include a bath?"

The stormtrooper said nothing.

"Or a toothbrush?" Han continued. "Or clothes? Gettin' a bit tired of bein' naked all the time."

The stormtrooper still said nothing as he or she pressed some buttons in the device. Of course, no one had the courtesy to tell Han how the thing worked or what the buttons did.

But Han wasn't giving up on conversation. Surely he at least deserved some small talk after all he'd been through. "Ya know, one of you troopers is a friend of mine. Maybe you know him? F-N . . . followed by some numbers . . . well anyway, he goes by Finn now. Big deal, that guy."

Still there was nothing. The stormtrooper continued whatever it was he or she was doing as if Han weren't even there, then in a few minutes he or she left, still without saying a word.

Han wanted to sigh in frustration before he remembered that he couldn't. He would never sigh again. Sighs, gasps, pants – who would have thought he would miss those simple abilities so much?

Pinky toes, middle toes, big toes . . . pinky toes, middle toes, big toes . . .

. . .

Why didn't Finn wake up?

Every morning Rey went to see the ex-stormtrooper and every morning the medical droids simply told her there was "no change" in his condition. She would sit by him, watching his chest rise and fall, listening to his heart monitor, wishing she could do something to help him, but nothing ever changed.

Today was no different.

"Finn," she whispered, gently stroking his forehead, "I know you can't hear me, but we're leaving today. Don't worry, you're coming with us." She swallowed, running her finger down his nose. "We're going to Coruscant. Leia's cousin is the chancellor of the senate – she might be able to help us." Her finger now traced around his chin. "And there are great hospitals there – you might could get some better treatment . . . maybe you'll even wake up."

Her hand slipped off his face and slowly began clenching. "Maybe Luke will finally start my Force training. And once I learn about the Force, if I ever see Kylo Ren again, I'll make him pay for what he did to you and Han." She gazed down at his closed eyes. "I promise."

. . .

"Grandfather . . . help me . . ."

Kylo Ren felt naked without his mask. Why hadn't he picked it up before Starkiller Base exploded? Maybe if he were safely enclosed inside it, he wouldn't be feeling so vulnerable and he could simply ignore this whisper from the light.

At least he still had his grandfather's helmet.

"Grandfather . . ." he continued, ". . . Han Solo's presence is weakening me. I feel the pull again . . . Grandfather, help me to resist . . . and when the time comes, give me the strength to kill Han Solo again, this time for real."

The helmet was still, silent, an empty shell, no longer offering the strength or comfort it usually did.

"Grandfather, please . . ." Kylo's voice was shaking now, "let me feel the power of the dark side, don't let Han Solo weaken me . . ."

Still there was nothing.

Kylo growled, leaping to his feet and storming out of his quarters and down the corridor, ignoring all stormtroopers and officers in his path. If his grandfather wasn't going to give him strength, he would have to gather it himself.

He opened the door to Han's room, finding the prisoner asleep, his head leaning to the side, his mouth slightly open. For the briefest of moments Kylo remembered coming to his parents' bed after his many nightmares, but he quickly pushed that memory away.

"WAKE UP!" he yelled as he stormed up to the bed.

Han's eyes opened only slightly, but once he saw his son a bit of a grin formed. "Hey Ben," he said in his weak voice.

"DON'T . . . CALL . . . ME . . . THAT!" Within a second Kylo had his lightsaber drawn and activated, the red blade inches away from the device in Han's chest. "Listen to me, Han Solo, I may have orders not to kill you – yet – but that doesn't mean I can't cripple you even further."

He slowly lowered the blade until it was hovering over Han's shackled wrist. "Snoke never said we needed your hands, Han Solo. Do you like your hands? Well all I need to do is press down and you'll be missing one."

"Ben . . ."

Kylo snarled as he yanked the blanket up, grabbed one of Han's vein-ridden, shriveling feet, and held the lightsaber over the bound ankle. "Or your feet," he spat. "Your disgusting feet. Snoke doesn't need those either. So long as that machine keeps breathing and pumping blood for you, I can cut off as many body parts as I want."

Han's eyes had widened - Kylo sensed that he was struggling to hide his fear. Yes . . . Han's fear . . . that was what Kylo needed . . . he could already feel the dark side flowing. Slowly, so as to draw out that fear, he moved the lightsaber away from Han's ankle and turned it upright.

"Or . . ." he said, ". . . I could cripple your face." He lowered the upright lightsaber until one of the side extensions was inches away from Han's cheek. "I can carve your skin up until you look like the great Emperor Palpatine – would you like that?"

Yes . . . Han was trembling. Oh, that sweet fear, that knowledge that he could make Han Solo cower . . . yes, there was the strength he needed from the dark side. He kept the lightsaber activated for several minutes, watching the sweat drizzle down Han's forehead, savoring every tremble, grinning at the paleness of his skin.

Han kept trembling even after Kylo deactivated the lightsaber. "Yes," he said, "you're completely helpless. Helpless. It would do you good to remember that."

He turned to leave, but before he was safely back in the corridor, he heard his father's weak voice again.

"Ben . . . I know this ain't you."

Kylo quickly shut the door, sealing his father in along with the pull to the light side, but as he made his way back down the corridor, he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.