Stef felt off from the moment they left. There was something uncomfortable about a weekend away that both one's in-laws and children knew was for the express purpose of having sex. It didn't help that Dana and Stewart were paying for the whole thing. She tried to relax, but memories of their awkward babymoon didn't help. When they checked in, the clerk seemed flustered, reminding Stef of the masseuse from their ill-fated couples massage. Being confined to one room made Stef feel claustrophobic. All of a sudden, it was like they were there to do one thing, and if it didn't go well their relationship might be in jeopardy again.

Lena could sense Stef's discomfort and tried to keep things light, even though what she really wanted to do was tear Stef's clothes off the moment the door shut.

"Relax, Stef," she smiled. "I'm not going to bite. Unless you want me to."

Her joke fell flat. Why was it so weird between them? They had had sex hundreds of times. After a week of interruptions, they should have been relieved for the privacy and thrown themselves into each other.

"Do you remember our first trip away?" Stef asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Lena sat down beside her, not touching. It felt like she was trying to keep a skittish cat from running away.

"Of course. We went to LA to see the sights. We barely made it out of the hotel room." That weekend was one of a very few before Brandon was with them full-time. They had taken full advantage, spending more time naked than clothed.

"Do you think we can get that kind of feeling back?" Stef asked.

"It kind of felt like we were, minus the actual sex." Lena hoped that sounded encouraging and not frustrated.

Stef shrugged and made a sound, and Lena wasn't sure if she should interpret it as agreement or the opposite.

"We know each other too well now - it's not new," Stef argued.

Lena took a deep breath and let it out. "That doesn't mean it can't still be amazing. Sure, there's something fun about discovering each other, but there's something wonderful about already knowing too."

"Great sex isn't going to fix all the issues in our relationship," Stef argued.

"Well, it's sure not going to hurt." Lena tried to keep her exasperation from becoming too obvious. "I thought you wanted this too. What's going on?"

Stef sighed. "I don't know. The pressure's getting to me. Scheduled sex has always weirded me out. I know it's about the only way old married couples can ever do it, but there's something clinical about it that makes it hard to get in the mood."

Lena rubbed Stef's back in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

Stef continued, "I keep thinking about our babymoon and how out of synch we were, and how the last few times we actually had sex didn't go so well, but then I think about how little time we have to be alone together and I think I should just suck it up and do it."

"Well, that sounds like loads of fun."

"You know what I mean - don't you?" Stef looked over at Lena, then back at her hands. "Are you just totally in the mood and ready to go?"

Lena didn't answer Stef's question.

"Lie down," she instructed.

Stef hesitated.

"I just want to help you relax. I promise, we won't have sex unless you say so. There are other ways to be close with each other."

"Is this some exercise from the book? Touch each other a bunch without having sex?" Despite her continual endorsement of the book, Stef was determined to remain skeptical.

Lena had flipped through enough to know that it was. But she wasn't going to admit it, for fear Stef's assessment of their interactions as clinical would be confirmed. Her goal wasn't anything but reconnecting with her wife. She didn't need a book to tell her how to feel desire, and she was confident in her ability to help her wife reciprocate.

"Just lie down, woman. Close your eyes if you want to. No pressure, no expectations."

Stef looked wary, but she complied.

Lena started at Stef's forehead. She placed a series of light kisses there, soothing the furrows from Stef's brow. Scratching Stef's scalp, she moved her lips to Stef's cheek, then her ear.

Stef was still dubious, but she tried to inhale and exhale deeply and let some of the tension go out of her muscles.

Lena kissed Stef's neck, eliciting a shiver.

"Not exactly relaxing," Stef commented with a smile, opening her eyes briefly.

Lena smiled back but didn't say anything. She moved her mouth to Stef's upper arm, needing to push up the sleeve in order to gain access.

"This would be easier if you weren't wearing a shirt."

Being oppositional on their weekend away did seem like an epically stupid thing to do. Stef decided to play along. There was no harm in letting Lena do whatever it was she was going to do. Stef sat up and stripped off her shirt, tossing it across the room. She laid back down and closed her eyes again.

Lena took a moment to appreciate the way Stef looked in her bra. Her body was toned, hardly changed from when they met thirteen years prior. Except for the scar on her abdomen. Lena couldn't help but shudder. She gently caressed Stef's arm, needing to touch her wife. It was an automatic response every time she looked at the scar, a reminder of how close they came to losing everything.

Lena vowed to herself, one more time, not to take things for granted anymore, not to let their relationship atrophy. She pressed her lips to Stef's arm again, her tongue snaking out to taste the crook of her wife's elbow. She slowly made her way down to Stef's fingers, taking the index all the way into her mouth and sucking.

Stef's heart rate suddenly increased. She couldn't pretend this was relaxing anymore, but she was too curious about what Lena would do next to intervene. Thoughts of her mother-in-law and children had gone out of her head, and she was totally present with her wife. Whatever happened next could only be good. Unless Lena stopped.

Lena didn't stop. She methodically gave attention to each finger, then switched to the other arm, giving it the same treatment. She regretfully passed over Stef's breasts - she knew Stef was still a long way from insisting she touch them, but she was confident she would - and instead rubbed her cheek on Stef's stomach.

"Pants off," she commanded, and Stef obeyed.

Lena ran her hands up and down Stef's thigh, then followed with her mouth. When she made it to Stef's feet, she gave them the same treatment she had her hands.

The toe sucking caused Stef to let out an involuntary moan. She was trying so hard to let things play out, to not rush them, but it felt incredible. Lena hadn't done this in years, and the sensation was almost overwhelming. Just on the right side of ticklish, it sent jolts to other parts of her body as well.

Lena switched to the other foot, and Stef started to anticipate a highly satisfying end to this exercise. Lena's mouth grew ever closer to the apex of Stef's thighs, and Stef couldn't help but spread her legs a bit.

Just as she was about to heed the yet-unspoken instructions to remove her underwear, she heard instead, "Roll over."

Disappointed, but determined to let Lena have her way - in so many ways - she complied. Thankfully, Lena went ahead and slid Stef's underwear down her legs. She kneaded Stef's buttocks, then used her mouth.

Stef hadn't been this turned on in longer than she could remember, and she knew there was more to go before Lena would satisfy her. Her wife was incredible - rather than letting Stef's mood bring her down as well, she was turning this into an amazing encounter. Stef was determined to reciprocate somehow - she just didn't have the available brain cells at the moment to figure out how.

Lena had moved on to Stef's back, covering every inch with her lips and hands. When Stef's bra got in the way, she unclasped it, then encouraged Stef to slip it off. She moved Stef's hair away from her neck, then paused to appreciate this view as well. She quickly stripped off her own clothes, then laid down fully on top of Stef.

Lena allowed herself a moment to enjoy how this felt for her - touching Stef had most definitely turned her on - then swiped her tongue against the back of Stef's neck. She felt every inch of Stef's shudder. She worked her way down this side, taking less time than the front. Her kisses were sloppier now, less controlled. If she was this close to the edge, she almost felt sorry for how keyed up Stef must be.

When she had finally touched almost every inch of Stef's body, she rolled Stef back over. Straddling her wife, hands on her shoulders, she looked into Stef's eyes. They were desperate, but Lena just waited.

Stef knew this was coming - that Lena would make her ask for it. She had promised the choice would be Stef's and she was honoring that. "Please," was all she could manage.

Lena didn't move. "Please what?"

For a moment, Stef didn't understand the question. Did Lena want her to call her mistress or something kinky? Then she realized Lena was asking for instructions.

"Please touch me."

Lena couldn't help but laugh. "Isn't that what I've been doing for the past half an hour?"

Stef smiled in return. Lena was right - the benefit of knowing each other couldn't be overstated. Though the evening had been something of a game, it wasn't a performance. Neither was pretending to be someone or something they weren't. It was okay to stop, to laugh - it didn't kill the mood, it only made Stef feel closer to her wife.

"Touch me where you haven't yet, you vixen."

And so Lena did. Continuing her perfect combination of mouth and hands, she touched Stef exactly how she knew she wanted it - no fumbling or teasing, just sure strokes and sucks until Stef came undone.

Stef pulled Lena up for a kiss. "I love you," she breathed. "I'm afraid you may be the death of me this weekend, but I love you anyway."

"You love me because of it and you know it," Lena replied with a smirk.

"I do."

Stef was afraid she'd fall asleep if she enjoyed being wrapped up in Lena for too long. There would be plenty of time for snuggling during the weekend. She rolled over onto Lena and kissed her deeply, rubbing their bodies together until she felt Lena's nails dig into her shoulderblades.

She followed a similar path as Lena had across her wife's skin, but she moved more quickly and didn't leave any place out. Not needing to pretend it was relaxing, Lena arched under Stef's hands and didn't remain silent.

Stef loved getting reaquainted with Lena's body. It had been far too long since she had taken the time to explore, to focus on more than the obvious places. Lately, when they did have sex, it had been a direct path, goal-oriented, and while it was usually satisfying it wasn't necessarily earth-shaking.

Just because she wasn't purposefully teasing didn't mean Stef wasn't going to make Lena wait a bit. Rather than move things forward once she had enjoyed Lena's front, she rolled Lena over to give the same treatment to her back.

Remembering the game they used to play in their early years together, Stef traced letters onto Lena's back.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U

She kissed Lena's shouderblade and saw her wife smile. She thought of something else to write.

I-W-A-N-T-T-O

After finishing the phrase, Lena asked "Well, what are you waiting for?" Her voice was an octave lower than usual, and she pulled her knees underneath herself to encourage Stef.

Well, I guess we're done with the foreplay. Stef ran her hands over Lena's breasts, then moved into position. She entered Lena, the wetness surprising her, though she realized it shouldn't have.

Lena pushed back, and they set a rhythm, slow and deep. Stef used her free hand to the best of her ability but lamented she didn't have at least one or two more to touch Lena everywhere she wanted.

"I wish we had our - you know, accessory - right about now," she commented.

"We do," was Lena's reply.

"Are you serious?" Stef asked, trying to maintain her movements.

Lena looked over her shoulder. "We're on a trip, the express purpose of which is for us to have lots of sex. You don't think I packed accordingly?"

"You are a genius," Stef breathed.

"It's in my bag."

Stef quickly retrieved it and the harness and resumed their encounter. She loved having both hands free, to play with Lena's breasts and stroke her clit, or to grip Lena's hips and thrust harder.

Having recently been - mostly - sated, she was able to focus on maximizing Lena's pleasure. She listened to Lena's sounds, paid attention to the way her body reacted, and tried to move her wife ever closer to the edge.

"Can you come like this?" Stef asked. Lena loved this position, but sometimes she needed something else to ultimately climax.

"I don't know yet - but don't stop," Lena answered, caught up in the myriad sensations.

Stef redoubled her efforts, putting everything she had into her thrusts, focusing her fingers where Lena needed them most, and, not much later, it turned out Lena could indeed come like that.

"Wow," was all Lena could manage, once she and Stef arranged themselves afterwards, her head on Stef's shoulder.

"That was amazing," Stef agreed, pressing a kiss to Lena's lips.

"I love you. So much." Lena didn't have the words at the moment, but she hoped the depth of her feelings was conveyed.

"I love you too. Forever."

The next morning, Stef awoke to find her hand held in Lena's. She felt like they had fought a battle together and won. They couldn't be separated - their bodies gravitated towards one another, even when they were unconscious. It gave Stef even more confidence, and it sent a wave of affection - and, yes, lust - running through her body.

She wanted to keep touching Lena. It was like the early days of being together, when they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Stef smoothed the hair away from Lena's face. She let her fingers drift across Lena's cheek and down her still-bare shoulder.

Before she could decide whether or not to continue exploring the skin underneath the covers, Lena's eyes opened.

"Good morning to me," Lena smiled.

"It certainly can be," Stef replied, pulling Lena closer and kissing her.

They made love languidly, but with intent. No teasing, just a steady path towards pleasure. Wanting to come as close to the same time as possible, Stef turned around, her mouth finding Lena's center as Lena found hers.

Afterwards, as they showered together, Lena thought about Stef's observation that sex led to more intense feelings of closeness. If the past few hours were any indication, and if the next few hours went in a similar direction, Lena imagined they would continue to gross out their kids for weeks.

Banishing thoughts of anyone else from her mind, she refocused on Stef. Watching the water run down her wife's body was mesmerizing. She looked up to find Stef looking at her intently.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You're just so beautiful," Stef breathed. "I can't believe I have a wife this hot."

Stef trailed her fingers up Lena's arms and around her breasts.

Lena smiled. "The feeling is mutual." She pulled Stef towards her, enjoying the sensation of their wet bodies pressing against each other.

Their kiss made Lena feel lightheaded. After months of tension and distance, being with Stef felt so easy and obvious. Lena hadn't felt desire like this in years. She couldn't bring herself to regret anything if it meant she and Stef ended up here, in this shower, naked and kissing.

"I want you again," Stef murmured, when the kiss ended. "Is that insane?"

Lena's head went back involuntarily, as Stef's mouth closed over her breast.

"Mm, not insane at all. It just means this weekend is achieving exactly what it was intended to."

"I've never loved your mother more," Stef commented.

"You'd better put that mouth back to better use and not mention my mother if you want to get lucky again," Lena admonished.

Stef laughed. "It's not luck, babe, it's talent."

After a day spent quite literally in bed, Lena was getting a little cabin fever. They still had another night away, so she figured they may as well get out and enjoy a nice dinner together.

"What do you want to eat?" she asked Stef as she got dressed.

Stef raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're just walking into that one."

Lena laughed. "For dinner, you insatiable perv."

"Anything but sushi," came Stef's standard response.

They had a nice, romantic dinner at a little Thai restaurant. Sticking to their promise not to talk - too much - about the kids, they had the opportunity to explore topics they hadn't in a long time. Stef listened intently as Lena shared her excitement about the grant Anchor Beach had received. Maybe it was the residual hormones running through her system, but Stef didn't give Monte a second thought as they talked about Lena's work. Lena had been right - as much as the emotional connection forged between them hurt Stef, Monte wasn't the source of their relationship issues. As long as things were back to being professional, Stef was determined not to stay hung up on the Anchor Beach principal.

Stef didn't mention Mike's name once, instead talking about her plans to run a 10k race in a few weeks. She was feeling in better physical shape than she had in years. In addition, she had convinced Mariana that cardio training would help with her dance efforts, and the two of them had been running together the mornings she could get her daughter out of bed early enough. Stef loved the chance to talk one-on-one with Mariana, especially as she adjusted to having a relationship with her mother, grandparents, and baby sister. Lena loved seeing Stef enjoy bonding with Mariana and not having to focus on discipline. She was working harder to step up in that area so Stef wouldn't have to literally be 'bad cop' all the time.

As dinner wound down, Lena wasn't ready to go back to the hotel. She was feeling invigorated. "I want to go dancing," she announced.

Stef wasn't thrilled about the idea, but she didn't reject it immediately, as she might have in the past. If this was something Lena wanted, she would give it a chance, just like she did in their early days of dating. This should be more fun than sushi.

"Let's do it," Stef agreed.

Lena looked surprised, but she didn't comment. "There's a lesbian club not too far from here, if Google is to be trusted."

"Sounds fun."

As they drove, they held hands and enjoyed the silence and the anticipation. They had only gone clubbing a handful of times in their twelve years together, but there was always something exciting about pretending to be alone in a crowd of couples.

They laughed at the mandatory carding they received on their way into The Magenta Flamingo. Stef got them drinks - she needed a little liquid courage before braving the dance floor - and they people-watched while they sipped.

"Everyone looks twelve," Stef commented.

"I know - it's like seeing my students out there."

"Are they really that young, or are we just old?" Stef asked with a sigh.

"Hey, no depressing observations on mortality tonight! Drink up - we're going to boogie."

Stef tossed back the last of her drink and took Lena's hand. "Boogie? I think you just proved my point."

They made their way to the edge of the dance floor - neither felt the need to be at the center of things - and began to move together. Stef figured if she just kept her hands on Lena and let Lena do her thing this wouldn't be so bad. Lena really was ridiculously sexy, and Stef was happy to have a front row to her show.

Lena felt fantastic. There was something cathartic about letting loose with her body. It was like a physical release of the emotions she had struggled with the past few months. She could finally let go of the regrets she had clung to and look to the future with hope and excitement.

Not knowing anyone else there, and knowing it could be years before they did this again, Lena threw any inhibitions out the window and pulled Stef close. Legs intertwined, they moved against each other. Lena let her hands slide down to Stef's ass and rest there. Raising an eyebrow at her wife, Stef decided she may as well go with it. She looped her arms around Lena's neck and nibbled her ear.

Lena shivered.

"You can't possibly be cold on this hot dance floor," Stef commented with a smirk.

Lena didn't respond verbally - she just turned around in Stef's arm and moved her wife's hands to her own waist. Stef pressed herself against Lena's back and moved Lena's hair to one side. She may have been shorter, but she was still able to speak into Lena's ear.

"Mm, this reminds me of last night. That was so hot."

"You know it," Lena looked over her shoulder with a wicked grin.

"We should do it again tonight." Stef's hands crept up Lena's torso, staying just below her breasts.

"Yes," Lena breathed.

"I want you so badly. I can't keep my hands off of you."

"You might need to or I'm going to have to drag you off to the bathroom to have my way with you," Lena turned again to face Stef, their lips just millimeters from each other.

Stef let out a laugh and moved back a step. "Nope, can't do it. Not even as a fantasy. I'm definitely too old - I can't even think about having sex in a public bathroom. Not that I don't crave your body desperately," she said with a waggle of her eyebrows.

Lena laughed as well. "Let's go get another drink and cool down. You may be a cop, but that's not going to get you out of an indecent exposure charge if we get out of control on the dance floor. Or anyplace else."

They were leaning against the end of the bar, fingers entwined, when one of the "twelve-year-olds" approached them.

"Please tell me she's not here to ask us to fulfill her 'cougar threesome' fantasy," Steff muttered, taking in the nose piercing, short blue hair, and visible tattoos.

Lena smacked Stef in the stomach and smiled at the young woman.

"Um, I know this is kind of weird, but you guys are super cute and I was just wondering how long you've been together." Without pausing to take a breath, she kept talking. "Me and my girlfriend" - she indicated someone at the other end of the bar - "have been together for, like, a couple of months, but it totally feels like it's forever, does that make sense? So how do you know if it's right?"

Stef worked very hard not to roll her eyes and just waited for Lena to answer.

"Well, we've been together for over twelve years," she started.

"Wow, that's amazing!" the young woman interrupted. "Do you, like, have kids or anything? My girlfriend and I totally want kids."

Stef decided it would be fun to jump in. "Actually, we have five."

"Five! That's incredible! You guys look fabulous!" she commented, looking them up and down.

It took Lena a moment to connect that last sentence. "Oh, only one of them is a biological child. We adopted the other four - well, we're in the process of adopting the last one."

Stef couldn't wait to hear what adjective the young woman would use to describe that information.

"Oh my gosh, that's fantastic! I can't believe it. You guys must be saints. And you're still here dancing all sexy with five kids at home. I so want to be like you when I grow up."

Stef took a sip of her drink to keep from laughing. These whippersnappers should be so lucky.

"Well, they're all teenagers, so it's not like we've left a bunch of toddlers at home," Lena shrugged.

"They're all teenagers! How old are you guys?" The young woman looked astonished.

Stef choked, and Lena slapped her back.

"So, did you want to know the secret to everlasting love?" Lena asked, her eyes narrowed in a way that Stef knew meant the kid was in trouble.

Stef couldn't wait to hear what Lena had to say.

The young woman nodded. Lena leaned in. "Really hot sex. Like, really, really, sweaty hot sex."

The young woman's eyes went wide.

"We gotta go," announced Stef, taking Lena by the hand.

"We're off to have more hot, sweaty sex!" Lena called over her shoulder, with a wave.

"Old, my ass," Lena muttered as she thrust into Stef.

Stef's last thought before she almost blacked out was that on second thought maybe that weird girl with the blue hair wasn't so bad.

"It seems like this weekend was good for you and Stef," Dana commented to Lena as they sat together in the back yard.

Lena smiled. "Yes. It was exactly what we needed. Thanks again for coming down and making sure the kids didn't have another window-breaking party."

"We had fun. Your dad and I kept them in line."

"I'm sure you did," Lena laughed.

"How's the grief counseling going?" Dana's look of concern seemed genuine. Lena had been a little afraid to talk to her mother about it, knowing her history of judgement, but Dana had been nothing but supportive.

"So far so good. I've only had a couple of sessions, but it's really helpful to talk to someone who's not involved. Of course it's good for Stef and me to talk about it, but the grief is both of ours, and it's hard to feel that pain while wanting to take the pain away from the person you're talking to. Does that make any sense?"

"Of course. That's why people go to therapy - no interruptions from well-meaning people needing to share their side of things."

Lena laughed at that description. "Stef might come in a couple of weeks, not for couples counseling, but so she can talk about Frankie too."

"That's great, Honey. I'm so glad things seem to be back on track for you. It's been quite a year, hasn't it?"

Lena thought about all that had happened. Stef was shot, a terrifying experience that was one of the lows of both of their lives. Then they got married - definitely one of the highs. Brandon got in trouble and got hurt; Mike struggled. Adopting Jude was wonderful, but Lena lamented all of the challenges Callie continued to endure. Mariana went through ups and downs with her mother, as did Jesus. Not to mention the accident that broke his foot and kept him out of wrestling for awhile.

Then there was Frankie. For a few wonderful months, Lena was on track to have everything she ever wanted - a wife, five wonderful children, and one of her own on the way. Losing her had been devastating, and she was still sorting through the aftermath. But whatever had happened - through all she and Stef had both done - they still had each other. And their relationship hadn't felt this solid in years. Considering walking away had made her realize how much she needed Stef.

"It has. Here's hoping the next one will have a little less drama." Lena knew it was a lot to hope, but she was confident she and Stef could get through whatever life threw at them.

"It feels weird not to be on the beach on a Saturday evening," Stef commented as she stood with Lena in the back yard.

"I promised you a barbequing of journals, and I keep my promises," Lena replied. She looked down at the notebook in her hands. "You know, I ended up not writing in mine all that much."

"Really? I would have thought you'd have filled it up." Stef's smile was genuine - they were okay now, and if it took Lena ranting about Stef in a journal to work through her feelings that was fine.

"I tried it, but it didn't make me feel any better. Mostly, it seemed like I was just rationalizing my own bad behavior. I felt petty. We were working so hard in our beach sessions, and after a couple of weeks I just didn't have the urge to vent anymore," Lena explained.

"Wow. I didn't think I'd use mine much, but it's almost full."

"Yeah?" Lena was interested to hear how the experience had been for Stef.

"At first I wrote about how mad and betrayed I felt, but somehow it pretty quickly turned to how sad I felt - about us, and about Frankie. It's how I was able to understand my motivation for the bad choices I had made - everything came back to her, to hanging onto my family."

"Do you really want to burn it if that's what's in there?" Lena asked.

Stef looked over at Frankie's tree and thought for a moment. "As happy as I am about where we are now, it's still terrifying to think about how close we came to a different outcome. This journal is a symbol of a hard time I don't want to revisit. I have other ways to remember Frankie, and I want to focus on living up to the goals we've set for ourselves in the present, rather than thinking about how we got here. It was a tool, and it's served its purpose."

Lena couldn't argue with that. "Ready, then?"

Stef laid her journal on the grill alongside Lena's and struck a match. She wrapped an arm around Lena as they watched the paper burn.

"That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, no never forsake," Stef sang quietly.

"What's that from?" Lena asked.

"The cheesy theme from our book kept reminding me of one of my favorite hymns."

"You have a favorite hymn?" Lena was surprised.

"Until things went down with my dad in high school, I actually liked church. Anyway, the line is from 'How Firm a Foundation,'" Stef answered with a smile.

"Of course." Lena smiled back.

"Throughout all of this, all I knew is I couldn't lose you. I believed we belong together." Stef took a deep breath and let it out. It was good to officially close out this chapter of their lives.

"This was really hard, but we're stronger for it," Stef continued. "Underneath it all, we share the same values. Family comes first for us, and if that's our foundation, it's one we can keep building on. The thing I've realized is that it's important to include each other in that prioritization. I put the kids first, but I took you for granted. I won't let that happen again."

"And if you do, I'll just yell 'porcupine chowder' and you'll be so confused you'll have to talk to me." Lena squeezed Stef's waist.

"Sounds reasonable," Stef smiled. "What about you? Any final thoughts?"

Lena gazed at the embers of their journals. "I've made my peace with the past. I won't let things I can't change distract me from the amazing present I'm living in."

Stef turned to look at Lena. "But if those feelings do come up again, I want you to feel safe talking to me about them. I love you unconditionally, and I'm not scared of your 'what ifs'. I just want to know what's going on in your head, no matter what it is."

"Fair enough." Lena kissed Stef's cheek.

"Now, I think we'd better grill those burgers or those kids are going to mutiny." Stef turned to see all of their children congregated on the back porch, plates of condiments and hamburger patties in their hands.

"C'mon, guys! Time to cook!" Lena called.

"I still think our parents are total weirdos." Stef and Lena overheard Mariana's comment to Callie. "Who lights their journals on fire in the back yard?"

"And I still think you should appreciate having an intact family. I'll take weird and still married over normal and divorced," Callie replied.

Jesus piped up, "Are our burgers going to taste like paper? Because that sounds nasty."

"Not if we use enough charcoal," Brandon answered, dumping the bag into the grill.

"Hey, can I use the lighter fluid? And light the match?" Jude asked.

"When you exhibit pyromaniacal tendencies, I feel nervous because I don't want the house to burn down," Stef told him, ruffling his hair.

"See? Weirdos," Mariana asserted.

"When you use six-syllable words, I feel hot and bothered because smart women are sexy," Lena came up behind Stef and kissed her neck.

"Gross weirdos," Jesus agreed.

"Everybody close your eyes," Stef instructed. "Mama and I are going to kiss now, and I know how much that scars you all."

The kids all clapped their hands over their eyes and faced the house, groaning about how disgusting their parents were.

Stef put her arms around Lena and managed a dip, despite the other woman being taller. She planted a kiss on Lena's lips, then stood them back up.

"I love you," she told her wife.

"Always," Lena answered.

The End