CHAPTER 2

Magnus POV

My chemistry teacher was just blabbing on and on about absolutely nothing, so of course I was bored out of my mind. I found myself staring at the blue eyed boy who sits next to me. He seems so shy and so sad.

I feel so bad for him he seems to have no friends. He hasn't even talked to me. Believe me I tried to get him to talk some more, but he seemed to upset after the incident with the blond haired bully.

As the day goes on I notice that he is in every class of mine except for third hour when I have my government class. During lunch he sat on his own at a table in the corner. I had been invited to sit with the "cool" kids.

I was curious about him and what his deal is. So I asked the girl next the me, Izzy, "Why is the black haired, blue eyed boy sitting alone over in the corner?"

"Oh, Alec," she sighed. "He's not exactly good at socializing with people. He prefers to be on his own. Why?"

"I was just curious. I ran into him this morning on my way to class." I tried to brush it off as if it was of no importance to me, when in reality I was entranced with the boy in the corner.

The rest of the day went on with nothing important happening. The same boring first day speeches from every teacher. I learned that the boy who harassed Alec this morning is named Sebastian. Turns out he is pretty popular around here and his "friends" follow him everywhere.

So far I think I've made at least a few friends. I sat with Izzy and Camille during lunch along with a few of their other friends. They both love fashion just like me. Even though it's Monday we planned to go shopping Friday at the mall so that they could show me all of their favorite stores.

Alec POV

Finally the last bell rang and I rushed out of class. I beat both Izzy and Jace out to the car, which isn't hard to do considering that they're stopped by about a million people who want to bask in their glory.

I was itching to get home as quick as possible so I could lock myself in my bathroom. I seemed to forget over the summer just how terrible I am. Sebastian only confirmed it for me. When I first saw Magnus this morning I thought that I might have a chance this year to have a friend. I thought I could befriend him and maybe not be so alone anymore. It's not that I don't want friends I choose not to have them because Sebastian has threatened to make my life a living hell if I do.

He has threatened to out me to the entire school and tell them that I'm gay. I haven't even told my family. I've never told anyone so I don't know how he figured it out. But I'm terrified that one day he'll tell everyone and then my life will be over.

I know my dad wouldn't accept me. He would probably kick me out and disown me. I'm such a failure. I've tried and tried to change. But I can't.

I've come to terms that I am worthless and that no one will care if I die. I don't even try to spend time with anyone because why would anyone want to spend time with someone like me. I know who and what I am, but Sebastian only solidifies my thoughts. If he feels that way won't others? Like Jace. I mean he's on the football team with Sebastian and they're friends. I don't know if Jace would still be friends with him if he knew how Sebastian treats me, but I'll never tell him. I don't want to risk him confirming my thoughts and agreeing with Sebastian.

After about thirty minutes of me waiting by the car I finally spot Izzy walking out of school talking to Camille. Eventually they part and Izzy comes over to wait with me.

"So did you make any friends?" she asks.

"No."

She just frowns at me. Izzy's about to say something when thankfully I hear her phone chime signaling that she just received a text message. Jace comes out as she is texting back to whoever she is talking to. He jogs over, unlocks the car, and we all hop in.

The car ride home consists of Jace and Izzy talking to each other about all of the new gossip they heard about what happened to who over the summer and other nonsense. Eventually, Izzy says, "I met someone new today. He's a senior, his name is Magnus Bane. Turns out he's totally into fashion just like Camille and I. The three of us are planning to go shopping on Friday at the mall."

Jace looks over at her, "Are you talking about the guy wearing extreme amounts of glitter?" She just nods her head.

The rest of the way home is silent.

When we get home I head up to my room and go into my bathroom in search of my razor to help relieve the pain inside. Once I find it I immediately roll up my sleeve and push it across my skin making a nice smooth cut. Slowly, I make more and more cuts until I eventually have fifteen nice even cuts. I sink down to the floor consumed with my thoughts.

I'm not like other people. Why?

Why do I have to be gay? It would be so much easier if I just liked girls.

I don't even deserve to be alive.

Everyone hates me.

Jace and Izzy only pretend to care about me. How could anyone love someone as worthless as me?

I feel like slowly I'm giving up more and more of myself every day.

I am nothing.

Why am I even alive?

Slowly unconsciousness consumes me. I welcome it. It is the one place where I can escape my good for nothing life.