CHAPTER 3

Friday Morning

Izzy POV

As I'm getting ready for school I find my mind wandering…

I'm starting to get a little worried about Alec. Everyday he sits by himself and tries to avoid everyone as much as possible. Why? Then when we get home he immediately goes straight up to his room and locks himself away.

He's starting to go back to what he was like last school year. Over the summer I worked so hard to help him get better. And it worked. He slowly got better. It seems like everything I did over the summer to help him get better has been destroyed. By what? Is someone doing this? Now that I think about it I don't really even know Alec. He distances himself from everyone, including Jace and I.

I finished my hair and made my way down the hallway to wake Alec up. I knocked on the door calling, "Alec time to get up!" There was no response… I attempted to open the door, which is usually locked, shockingly it opened right up.

Slowly I walk over to his bed and find that it's still made, he didn't even sleep in it last night. Where is he? I look around his room and can't find him. Next, I check his closet with still no sign of him. Finally, I go over to his bathroom and slowly open the closed door.

I'm shocked by the sight in front of me. Alec is on the floor and there is blood all over the ground. "Alec!" I rush over to him shaking him. "Alec! Are you okay?! Please wake up," I can hear the desperation in my voice.

He begins to wake up and groans as he looks around. I breathe a sigh of relief letting go of the breath I wasn't aware I had been holding in. Thank God he's okay. I don't know what I'd do without him.

"Alec what happened?" That's when I looked down at his arms searching for the source of all the blood. I'm met with a shocking sight. Nothing I would have every thought I'd see. Especially regarding my stronger older brother. The one I looked up to and could do no wrong in my eyes.

There on his arms were cuts and hundreds of scars covering his arms. Alec seemed to finally fully wake up and he immediately tugs his sleeves down to cover the cuts. "You didn't see anything," he tells me in an attempt to convince me that I didn't see anything.

"Alec… Why?" I ask quietly.

" You wouldn't understand.." He says equally as soft. "It's just so, so hard."

What does that mean?

He got up off the ground rinsing his arm off, then he walked off into his room to get ready for school.

"You can't go to school!" I screeched causing him to jump. "Not after I just found you passed out on the bathroom floor. You're staying home." I told him. No way in hell am I letting him leave this house.

"Izzy-"

"And to make sure you do I'm staying home with you. We don't have to tell have why we are staying home, we can say we're sick, I don't care. But we are going to talk about this," I said looking into his eyes.

He sighs and nods his head. Before he can say anything else I rush out of the room looking for Jace. I found him in the kitchen eating some cereal. "Jace," I started out quietly, "I don't think I'm going to go to school I'm not feeling to well. Neither is Alec. When I went to wake him out this morning he wasn't feeling good either. I think we caught the same thing."

"Okay."

Turning around I head upstairs to go sit with Alec in his room. I hear the front door slam shut as Jace leaves to head to school. Before I even realize it I'm in front of Alec's door. I hesitate to open the door.

Alec POV

Oh no. I can't believe Izzy caught me. What am I supposed to tell her? I don't know if she'll even like me once she knows. But of everyone in my family I think Izzy would be the most accepting. Maybe if I tell her I'll have at least one friend in life.

NO! You can't do that Alec. Who are you kidding thinking that you could tell someone. You are just a disgusting, ugly, worthless, nobody that no one wants. How could you think that you could tell anyone?! My own inner voice righted me once again. Who was I kidding, I'm still the same worthless nobody that I've always been. I'm not changing. Believe me I've tried.

I hear my bedroom door slowly creaking open. Without even looking up I know that it's Izzy. I mean who else would it be? "Alec we need to talk about what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I mutter.

"Well I don't give a fuck. This is not something we are negotiating. We ARE talking about this… Why Alec? Why did you do that?"

"You wouldn't get it," I mumble.

"Alec just let me in. You need someone. You can't be alone forever."

"I don't need anyone."

"Alec," she sighed. "Yes, yes you do. I promise I won't judge you. Nothing could make me love you any less." I doubt that, once she knows the truth. "Please Alec."

Should I tell her? I don't want to but I know that she won't leave until I do.

"Izzy… I'll tell you, but only if you'll hear me out."

"I promise."

I hesitate looking at her. I'm not so sure this is a great idea. I don't think I'll be able to handle it if she doesn't look at me the same way.

"I-I'm gay…"