AN: As always, thanks to the readers and reviewers! This story's wrapping up now – there will probably be only one or two chapters after this one.

To the guest who asked if I have a Wattpad account, yes I have one, but I only just joined, so as of right now I don't have anything posted there. Whenever I get around to posting stuff there, I'll put a link to my account in my profile here.

"Without a Heart"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 20

Rey sat slumped in the Falcon's cockpit, eyes glazed, hands shaking, her grandfather's lightsaber resting on her lap. It all kept playing through her mind - Kylo's hands flying off, the blood pouring from his stumps, the sheer rage she had felt when the only thing on her mind was killing him. She would have killed him if Luke hadn't taken action.

She would have killed him . . .

The metallic smell of Kylo's blood seemed to be lingering in her nostrils, filling her head with nausea. Sometimes she glanced down at the lightsaber, but she found she couldn't look at it for more than a second without her breath shortening. Initially she had wanted nothing to do with that lightsaber – should she have stuck with that decision?

"Rey?"

Her father's voice, the sound that still tightened her stomach. She couldn't bring herself to look back at him, but he rendered that action unnecessary by sitting next to her. "Rey, are you all right?"

Rey couldn't answer.

Luke let out an extended sigh. "Rey . . ."

"Where are the others?" Rey suddenly asked in a lifeless voice.

Luke sighed again. "They're not going home in the Falcon. Ben's being held in the medical ward of one of the Resistance's ships and Han and Leia don't want to leave him. And Chewie . . . well, he doesn't want to leave Han." He leaned back in his seat. "The droids are also with them, so you and I get to fly the Falcon ourselves."

Rey found herself listening to her every breath. Every inhale, every exhale, every motion Han could no longer make. "I was going to kill him . . ." she whispered, hardly aware that she was doing so.

Luke only gave a slow nod.

Rey's fingers twitched in her lap. "I . . . I felt it . . . the dark side . . . it had me . . . a-and I didn't care!"

"I understand," said Luke. "Sweetheart, I faced the dark side too . . ."

"But I still want him dead!" Rey's head whipped up to face her father, whose image was quickly blurring from her tears. "I know I shouldn't . . . I know what that kind of thinking almost did to me . . . but I want him dead!" Tears once more flowed out of her sore eyes. "You were right . . . I'm not strong enough to resist the dark side . . . I almost . . ." A choking sob overtook her words.

Luke gently placed his real hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Rey . . ."

"You saw what he did to Han!" she interrupted through her sobs. "He's going to be like that for the rest of his life!" Her hands were trembling again. "When I thought he was dead, at least he was dead . . . but now . . . I mean, of course I'm happy he's alive . . . but look at what Kylo did to him!"

"I know, I know," said Luke. He gazed into his daughter's eyes. "It broke my heart to see what happened to him too . . . but you can't let your anger overpower you." He swallowed. "It's the burden we Force-sensitives must carry. The dark side is always out there, ready to claim its victims . . . like how it claimed my father . . . and how it claimed Ben . . ."

Rey sniffled. "I-I . . ."

"Shh," said Luke, stroking her shoulder before clearing his throat. "Rey . . . I know you don't think of me as your father yet, but there's something I want to show you." With another gulp, he reached into his satchel and pulled out a datapad. "This . . . this doesn't have Jedi records or anything like that . . . well, just look at it."

After wiping her eyes and taking several long breaths, Rey took the datapad and turned it on. A holo flashed on the screen of a younger, beardless Luke standing next to a woman with a baby in her lap. The woman was just like Luke had described her – light brown skin, thick black hair, bright green eyes, a wide smile.

"Your mother," Luke said in a hushed voice. "Rianna . . ."

"Rianna . . ." Rey repeated, realizing that she hadn't known her mother's name until now.

"She was from Naboo, just like your grandmother," Luke said in a shaky voice. "That beach you remember – the whole family used to vacation on the Naboo beaches."

"The whole family?" Rey had to swallow several times as she stared down at the family holo – her family. A tear fell onto the datapad and she didn't bother wiping it away.

"Yes," Luke said gently. "The whole family. Go to the next holo."

With trembling hands, Rey did so, unprepared for what she saw next. On one side of the holo were her parents in swimsuits, sitting on a beach towel. On the other side were a younger Han and Leia on their own towel, also in swimsuits, brown-haired Han lounging and Leia grinning down at him.

And in the center, there was a teenage boy and a little girl building a sandcastle, both of them laughing.

The datapad fell out of her hands and dropped to the floor.

"H-he . . ." she stuttered, ". . . he . . ."

"Yes," said Luke. "He loved you back then. I think he thought of you more like a little sister than a cousin. He babysat you all the time."

"He babysat me?" Rey shouted, feeling like her stomach had dropped out of her body.

Luke put his hand back on her shoulder. "Rey, he's your cousin and you can't change that, just like how I couldn't change that Vader's my father. You must learn to accept that."

"How?" Rey's voice was barely decipherable through her sobs.

Luke took a deep breath. "I'm going to train you, daughter. I've been letting my fear overpower me, but I can't keep doing that. I can't let fear keep me from helping you."

Father and daughter stared at each other for several long moments, Rey still powerless to keep the tears from flowing. She didn't love Luke – she didn't know Luke even now. If her heart felt like anyone was a father, it was still Han. Though their time together had been brief, they had still connected in a way she had yet to connect with Luke.

But maybe she could still connect with Luke someday.

After an unknown amount of time, she suddenly, nearly unconsciously fell into her father's arms, sobbing into his chest, absorbing his embrace.

. . .

Han and Leia weren't allowed to see their son.

Since Ben was technically a prisoner, the room where he was kept in the ship's medical ward had been declared his current cell and the only ones allowed in there were the medical droids who were treating him. His parents had protested, but to no avail. Ben being their son couldn't change the fact that he was considered a dangerous prisoner, injured or not, hands or no hands.

Now Han was lying in a bed in one of the other medical rooms with Leia and Chewie seated next to him, all anxiously waiting for news on Ben's condition. All they currently knew was that he'd lost a lot of blood and he had yet to regain consciousness.

Han had been gazing up at the ceiling, much like how he used to gaze at the ceiling of Ben's prison cell, blinking, blinking, blinking, his blinks becoming longer and longer. That damn sound contributed to the haze in his mind, in, out, in, out, in, out . . .

"Han, you can sleep if you want."

Han slowly rolled over towards his wife, barely seeing her between blinks. "You . . . you expect me to sleep when our son's in there . . .?"

Leia reached over and ran her fingers through her husband's hair. "We'll wake you if there's any news." She cupped her hand around his ear, bending it gently. "It's all right, I can tell you're exhausted."

Han swallowed as his eyes closed. "What's . . . what's gonna happen to Ben?" he slurred. He was sinking down into sleep, but he remained awake just long enough to hear her response.

"I don't know."

. . .

A loud, persistent beep jolted Han awake. It took a few moments to piece together what was happening, but once he gained enough wakefulness to locate the sound, he realized it was coming from his own chest.

His eyes shot open, his head spinning as if he were about to lose consciousness. "Leia?" he whispered, that single word tightening his throat.

"Han, what's going on?" Leia exclaimed. "Why is that machine beeping?"

A sudden realization hit him, sending chills shooting through his body. "The thing . . . it's gotta be maintained."

"All right, so how do we maintain it?"

"I don't know!" The dizziness kept increasing, so much so that he had to close his eyes again. Was he losing oxygen? How long before the thing just stopped?

"Chewie, call the medical droids!" Leia shouted. "And hurry!" She grasped her husband's remaining hand. "It's all right, Han, it's all right, you're going to be fine . . ."

It was the last thing he heard before he blacked out.