AN: Well, here it is, the last chapter. I'd like to give an extra special THANK YOU to everyone who's read and reviewed.
"Without a Heart"
By EsmeAmelia
Chapter 21
Kylo Ren awoke with a sudden, abrupt gasp, his eyes shot open to blinding light. Momentarily he remembered nothing of what happened before he passed out. Where was he? What was he doing here?
"Ben Solo," said a droid's emotionless voice.
"That's NOT my name!" Kylo shouted as best he could through his dry throat.
"Ben Solo," the droid repeated, "you must not move. You have lost a dangerous amount of blood."
Blood . . .
In an instant everything came rushing back into his head. He quickly glanced at one arm, then the other, both of which ended in stumps wrapped up in bandages. The pants bursting out of his mouth quickly turned into a long, loud scream.
"Ben Solo," said the medical droid, "you must stay calm. Getting upset could worsen your condition."
Kylo glared at the droid for one second before shoving it against the wall with the Force. "No," he said, "it could worsen your condition."
Suddenly a voice shouted from the other side of the door. "I don't care about protocol, you're going to LET ME IN THERE NOW! This is a matter of life and death!" With that, the door slid open and his mother came storming in, that old fire he remembered from his childhood back in her eyes.
"Leia Organa," said Kylo. "Here to visit your invalid son?"
"I don't want to hear it, Ben," Leia snapped. "The machine keeping your father alive needs maintenance and you're going to tell us how to maintain it."
"Oh?" said Kylo, stretching his neck in the direction of the broken medical droid. "Can't your highly capable medical droids figure it out?"
"They probably could if they had enough time," said Leia, "but we don't have time. Your father is suffocating as we speak – if you don't tell us how to get the thing working he'll die!"
"Good!" Kylo spat. "I've been wanting that ever since I cut him through!"
The next thing he knew, Leia had her hands on his shoulders, pressing him against the bed and glaring into his eyes. "Ben, I know that's not true. I saw my son back at the monastery – my real son. We need him now."
"You and your husband are both deluded!" Kylo growled.
Leia gently stroked her son's cheek, though her other hand was firmly kept on his shoulder. "Ben . . ."
"All that talk about forgiveness!" he interrupted. "Is imprisoning your handless son your idea of forgiveness?"
Leia sighed. "Ben, you're my son and I do forgive you, but justice . . ."
"Justice," Kylo interrupted again, uttering the word as if it were poisonous. "Well I've already been served justice for what I did to Han Solo, haven't I? A hand for a hand and another hand for a foot. All you need to do now is pierce me with a lightsaber and we'll be even."
"No one is piercing you with a lightsaber," said Leia.
"Why not? It's what I deserve according to justice, isn't it?"
Now Leia's other hand was running through her son's hair. "Ben, we can talk about this later, but right now I need you to tell me how to save your father."
Kylo glared up at his mother, his heavy breath blowing strands of her hair around. "Han Solo is not my father."
"You can say that all you want, but it will still be a lie," said Leia. Her hands slowly moved down his arms until they were loosely grasping his stumps, making him flinch.
"I know it hurts," said Leia, "but letting Han die won't take away the pain. Think about it – did killing your aunt take away the pain? Did massacring the Jedi take away the pain? Did killing your father the first time take away the pain?"
"I love you, Ben . . ."
His eyes reflexively squeezed shut, blocking the tears that had unwillingly formed. No . . . no . . . he wasn't going to give in . . . he couldn't . . . the light side was weak . . . and he wasn't weak . . .
"I love you, Ben . . ."
"Ben, please," Leia said in a hushed voice. "You can do it . . . don't be afraid . . ."
"I love you, Ben . . ."
He ground his teeth, his stumps trembling against his mother's hands. No . . . no . . . NO . . .
"I love you, Ben . . ."
He screamed.
His eyes opened.
Meeting his mother's gaze.
. . .
"I hope you're happy, Han Solo. You have broken me."
"Ben, c'mon . . ."
"You made me WEAK. Weak like you!"
"Ben . . ."
"You BROKE ME, Han Solo . . ."
His son's voice faded away, gradually replaced by the sound. In, out, in, out . . . damn, his head hurt . . . in, out, in, out . . .
"Han?"
"L-L . . . L-L-Leia?" His throat felt like it had gone for days without water. "L-L-Leia?" His eyelids stretched and pressed, stretched and pressed until finally they opened, gradually blinking his wife's face into focus.
"Han," Leia said in a relieved voice, leaning over and kissing her husband's forehead.
"Wh-Wh . . . What happened?" Han slurred.
"It's all right," said Leia, smiling down at him as if she never wanted to look away again. "We're on Coruscant. You've been out for a few days, but you're all right now."
Han's eyes flitted about, taking in that he was in a hospital bed with Leia seated beside him. "How . . . h-how did you get the thing workin' again?"
Leia momentarily gazed downward, squeezing Han's single hand. "It was Ben . . . he saved you . . . he told us how to keep it maintained."
"Ben?" Han exclaimed, almost shooting up to a sitting position before the swimming in his head stopped him mid-motion. "How is he? Where is he?"
Leia glanced downward again, seeming to take an interest in her husband's fingers as he eased himself back down. "He's healing all right . . . and he's being held prisoner."
"Prisoner?" Han knew he shouldn't be surprised. There would be no way around it after all Ben did, but there was still a dull ache in his stomach.
Leia gave a small nod. "He will be given a fair trial . . . but that probably won't be until after the war's over."
"Is the war over?"
Leia sighed, the creases in her face bending. "Our troops searched Teth and all the nearby systems, but they found no trace of Snoke."
Han swallowed, increasing the soreness in his dry throat. "What . . . what about Ben's hands? Are they gonna let him sit in prison with just a couple of stumps?"
"No," Leia said quickly. "I made sure of it. He's going to get artificial hands as soon as he's healed enough – and if they don't follow through on that they'll have to answer to me. And . . . speaking of which . . ." She glanced towards Han's left. ". . . you might want to look . . ."
A sudden numbness went down Han's body. His head felt frozen in place. Come on, look. He had to look – surely it wouldn't be as bad as when he'd first seen the stump, right?
It took him maybe a full minute, but his head finally inched to the left.
There it was.
If people took only a passing glance, they would simply assume it was his natural hand. A closer look, however, would reveal that something was off about it. It was only one shade of peach all over – no blemishes, no hairs, no wrinkles. Even the fingernails were all exactly the same length and they would never grow. It looked unnatural.
Once again Han missed the ability to pant. How did he move this hand? Did it move like a regular hand? How he wished he could take a deep breath, but he couldn't, so after a few seconds of hesitation he tried curling the fingers the way he would curl his regular fingers.
They curled.
In an instant he raised the hand in front of his face, opening and closing the fingers. How did they do that? He tried not to think about the circuitry attaching itself to his insides.
"You have a foot too," Leia suddenly said, lifting a corner of the blanket and letting her husband see his new foot. Just like the hand, it was lacking in any blemishes, wrinkles, or anything else that would make it distinctive. The toes still wiggled, but it felt different.
With a gulp, Han rubbed his real hand over his artificial one, feeling the hardness he already knew from Luke's artificial hand, the hardness that would forever remind him that his real hand was gone.
He couldn't stop his eyes from welling up as he looked up at his wife and slowly, slowly, slowly reached for her with his robotic hand.
It pressed against the cheek he knew so well . . . and he could sort of feel it. He felt softness yielding against the mechanical extremities that were now his fingers, but if he didn't know what he was touching, he probably wouldn't have recognized the softness as Leia's cheek.
"Leia . . ." he whispered.
It was the only word he could get out before the tears started flowing.
. . .
"Rey, wake up."
Rey slowly opened her eyes, having fallen asleep slumped on one of the chairs in the hospital waiting room. Her father was shaking her shoulder, an actual smile on his face.
"What's going on . . .?" she asked with a yawn, stretching her sore neck.
Luke's smile grew wider. "Han's awake."
Those two little words were enough to make Rey completely forget about her sleepiness. She bolted out of the chair and ran towards the turbolift without even waiting for her father, though he managed to catch up with her before the turbolift doors closed. The ride up took only a few seconds, but it might as well have been hours for the tenseness in Rey's stomach. Once it stopped, she ran down the hall straight for Han's room, where the patient was chatting with Chewie and Leia.
"HAN!" she shouted, throwing her arms around him, barely remembering to give the tube in his neck enough room.
"Hey, hey, don't smother me," Han said with a raspy laugh, returning the embrace, giving one side of Rey's back the feeling of soft fingers and the other the feeling of hard mechanical parts.
"I won't," said Rey, pulling out of the hug and gazing down at her uncle – weak, crippled, but alive. "Han . . . Uncle Han . . ."
"Uncle Han," Han repeated, "I remember when you used to call me that – though it was in a bit more of a baby talk way."
Rey gulped. "Uncle Han . . . I'm . . . I'm so sorry about what I did . . . I . . . I don't even know how to talk about it . . ."
"Neither do I," said Han, sudden sorrow in his voice. He held up his mechanical hand. "But Leia says Ben's gonna get a couple of these . . . I guess he'll get used to it after a while."
"He will," said Luke, holding up his own artificial hand. "You both will, but it will take a while."
Just then, one of the human doctors entered the room, her hands clasped together as if she had prepared a surprise for the group. "Miss Skywalker?" she asked.
Rey automatically looked up, surprising herself when she realized that she had responded to her last name. Perhaps that was a first step. "What?"
The doctor smiled at her. "I hate to interrupt the reunion, but someone else is awake and you might want to see him."
Rey's stomach dropped. "Finn?"
The doctor nodded.
Han grinned at his niece. "Go on, go see him. Tell the big deal I said hi."
. . .
Rey's heart sped up as she entered Finn's room. Instead of the comatose body she had become so used to, he was sitting up, a tray of food in his lap, taking small bites of food as if he were trying to get used to eating again.
"Finn!" she exclaimed.
Finn looked up and a huge grin instantly burst onto his face. "Rey?"
"Finn!" Rey repeated, running up to him and throwing her arms around him.
"Hey . . . whoa . . . careful!" said Finn in a laughing voice. "Recovering from a coma here!"
"Yes, yes," said Rey, taking a deep breath and relaxing her grip. "Are you all right?"
"I think," said Finn. "The doctor said I've been out for a while – like more than a month." He cocked his head at her. "So . . . what all did I miss?"
Rey grinned at him. "You're never going to believe it . . ."
. . .
Kylo Ren lay in his cell's bed, staring into the endless darkness, his stumps buried under the covers but never letting him forget about their existence. If he ever saw his cousin again, he would . . . what? Kill her? He should kill her – and Han Solo, and everyone else. Snoke's orders didn't matter anymore – he had left Kylo to get captured and Kylo owed him nothing.
But if he did see his cousin again, could he kill her? Could he kill any of them? He did kill Han Solo once . . . so why did he doubt himself now?
He bit his lip. Han Solo would have already died were it not for his weakness. Why did he let that weakness overtake him? Why didn't he just let his father die?
"Grandfather," he whispered in a shaky voice, "I'm sorry. I failed. I was weak." He blinked into the darkness as if his grandfather could be seen if he just focused hard enough. "Please, Grandfather, I need you. Help me banish the light, help me be strong again. Please . . . please, Grandfather, help me!"
But again his grandfather was silent. Instead, the words came again, the words that couldn't be snuffed out no matter how hard he tried.
"I love you, Ben . . ."
. . .
After some long arguments with the doctors, Leia got permission to sleep with Han in his hospital bed – at least for that night. Despite the years apart, Han gave Leia his familiar dreamy smile when she emerged from the refresher in a nightshirt, the same smile he'd given her many other nights.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked.
His smile faded. "Well, we don't have to do it if you don't want to . . ."
"I want to," Leia said quickly. "I've been wanting to for ages."
"So have I," said Han, reaching up and stroking her arm. "So damn much."
A snicker escaped Leia's lips. "All right, Flyboy – just remember your muscles aren't strong enough for sex yet. Better learn how to walk again first."
"I dunno if we'll ever be able to have sex with this thing in my chest," said Han.
Leia smirked. "I'm sure we'll find a way, but don't worry about it right now."
He kept gazing at her as she climbed into bed next to him, trying to ignore the breathing noise, though her eyes automatically went to the spot where his hospital robe was open at the top to let the neck tube connect to the machine. "Han . . . does that thing hurt?"
"Yes," Han said without hesitation. "All the time, but it's a kinda dull pain, the kind you can usually ignore. Usually."
Leia gently placed her hand on the spot where Han's heart used to be, remembering how she used to rest her head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. "I wish I knew what to say . . ."
Han reached over and stroked her shoulder with his new artificial hand, bringing slight pain with his hard fingers. "Well . . ." he said awkwardly, ". . . look on the bright side, at least my snoring won't bother you anymore."
Leia snickered. "I actually missed your snoring." She eased herself into a lying position, gazing into his eyes. "Han . . . do you think our family might actually heal now?"
Han looked like he wanted to sigh even though he couldn't. "I dunno. With Ben in prison, who knows what's gonna happen with him?" He slowly put his real hand on her cheek. "But I know one thing – I know I ain't goin' anywhere."
Leia placed her hand on top of Han's. "That's what I wanted to hear."
The couple lay in the dark for hours before sleep overtook them, knowing everything was different now but feeling that they could handle the future now that they were truly together again.
THE END
AN: So ends another story, but I think I might write a short sequel of sorts. It would only be a few chapters long and it would deal with the different characters adjusting to their new lives. I'm also going to return to my "Defenders of the Force" series and write another short story or two.
Thanks again!