Chapter 22: My Only Choice

Edward's POV

I had finally begun to see everything clearly. I didn't realize my sight had been so clouded. It wasn't until I was standing in the midst of the "training session" with my family, the wolves, and Bella, that I realized how far off track my life was from where I wanted it to be. I watched as Bella rubbed her head against Jacob's fur, his eyes closing appreciatively at her touch. Observing the two of them, I realized that it was gone. The jealousy seemed to have evaporated.

I ducked as Carlisle attempted, for the second time, to get the better of me. I wasn't even concentrating on the task at hand. I was listening for Leah. I hadn't seen her since- since my jealousy and possessiveness caused me to advance, seduce, and make love to her. I hadn't been able to talk to her, and it wasn't for lack of trying on my part. I hadn't given up, I was just trying to give her time. However, now that Alice had determined that we would be at war by the end of the week, I was afraid that our time had run out.

"Son, what has you so distracted?" Carlisle stopped practicing to focus his sight on the wolves. "Is she here?"

"No, and since she isn't I hope she realizes that she won't be fighting!" I growled with clenched teeth.

"You can't control that." He challenged me firmly. "I'm sure the others will relay the teachings to her." Carlisle patted my shoulder. "You must stop focusing on things you can't control, and worry about the here and now." I nodded, he was right. If I didn't take the time to train, then all of this other stuff would be unnecessary concerns because I would perish in a fire started by Victoria.

"You're right, I need to pay attention." I stood in a fighting stance and allowed Carlisle to continue to try and attack me. Every now and then my mind would drift to Leah; thinking about her actually made me angrier. It wasn't the actual thought of her, but the situation that I'd put myself into that made my rage increase.

"Easy!" Carlisle said shaking his hand as an attempt to work off the pain. I must've hit him and not realize it.

"Sorry," I murmured and he nodded letting me know it was okay.

After a few more rounds I switched to working with Emmett. Emmett gave me a serious work out, and the few knocks that he gave me left me with no choice but to focus on the task at hand. One time, while I was on the ground… collecting my thoughts, Emmett looked down at me and I took notice of the look that he had on his face. He had wanted to knock me on my butt. I know man, what happened. Leah told Rose! I can't believe you damn near raped her! I thought you were supposed to be sensitive, but you're just a …

"Enough! You don't know what you're talking about!" I leapt up and shoved him as hard as I could. He in turn tried to punch me and I blocked him. It soon became an actual pissing contest that Esme stepped in to break up.

"What is going on?" she yelled as she placed herself between Emmett and myself.

"Nothing, just teaching little Edo some manners," Emmett hissed. "I know what I know. Fix this situation it's bull shit! We've all put our live on the line for you, this is the least you can do."

"I've done nothing wrong." I murmured to myself and turned my back on my brother and on this whole ordeal. I looked out into the wolves who had found this whole encounter quite entertaining. Luckily none of them had figured out what or who we were fighting about. I quickly laid eyes on Jacob who was still standing close to Bella. I approached them and Bella seemed alarmed by my movement, shifting away from him.

"Can you make sure that Bella gets home? I have… some business to finish." I asked, but no sooner had I asked the question, then I know his answer. I knew that Jacob was still as in love with Bella as when she'd left. I moved past the wolves and on to my car. I drove like a mad man and parked in front of Leah's apartment. I normally would have taken a moment to assess my emotions and channel a more human emotion, but this time I wanted her to know the full extent of my anger.

"Leah, answer your door or I will break it down!" I didn't bother knocking. I didn't feel like being that hospitable. She opened her door preparing to glare at me, but one look in my eyes and she became alarmed by my stare. I brushed past her and into her living room. I began pacing instantly. I was unable to control my rage. I was on edge and one breath away from being violent.

"You will not be fighting with us! You have no regard for your own life, so how can you possibly protect your brother!" I hissed.

"I will fight! You have no say over what I do, Edward!" She stood angrily in front of me with her hands on her hips. "Who the hell do you think you are, Edward?"

Even now she was being foolish; when we first met she confessed to me it takes two shape-shifters to take down one vampire, so narrowing her eyes at me and challenging me was not the smartest thing for her to do when I was already so enraged. She seemed oblivious to the fact that I was really pissed at her.

I quickly addressed what I considered the manner at hand. "You told my family that I raped you! How could you tell such a lie?" I defended myself desperately, seeking a logical answer from her lips.

"I didn't tell anyone that! I just told her that you took advantage of me when I was drunk, and that is true, you did." She glared at me. "You were horny, curious, and stupid. You just threw our friendship away!" Tears trailed from her eyes as she gazed upon me.

"I didn't! I didn't throw our friendship away. You did! You didn't want anything else to do with me as soon as you saw the Bella's face. You didn't even ask me how I felt about any of this! You didn't trust me! Now I don't trust you! I don't trust you to fight logically and I refuse to have you fight and lose you! You, Leah Clearwater, will stay put here while the battle takes place, because if you don't and harm befalls you—." I ran out of steam. I sat down on the edge of the couch cushion behind me, and ran my fingers through my hair, resting my forehead in my palms. She came and stood in front of me looking puzzled.

"So, what are your feelings, Edward?" She collapsed beside me on the sofa, and in a moment's time it seemed as though all the pent up rage and emotion just drained out of both of us.

"I- I love you, Leah." I whispered. She closed her eyes and smiled. My statement echoed through her mind as she thought of how warm it made her feel inside.

"I feel a lot for you too, Edward. I know I would rather you not be with Bella. I love you." I narrowed my eyes at her and snickered. "What?" She lifted her head toward me.

"It's just the way you said it." I shrugged and chuckled once more.

"So I'm your first choice?" she asked quietly; so softly that I almost thought she was asking the question to herself.

"You are my only choice. I have never had feelings like the ones I have for you, they are so strong. I've never felt more connected to anyone."

"I'm sorry, Edward, but part of me finds all of this hard to believe. You were head over heels in love with Bella, and now you claim to feel love for me. I don't know if I can believe you." She challenged.

"For crying out loud, I made love to you, Leah! And to your credit, yes I loved Bella, and I still love Bella, but the feeling is now completely platonic. For you I feel passion, lust, and a love I have never experienced with her." She rolled her eyes at my confessions. "I'm serious, Leah."

"So have you told her that you love me?" She turned to me and I shook my head.

"But, I have a logical reason for not telling her before coming to you. I was beyond pissed off, and I had the notion to 'rip you a new one' for telling my sister that I'd raped you. I didn't think I'd be confessing to loving you." She smirked and sat forward to bump my shoulder with hers, so I chuckled. "I think it would be best to have this conversation with Bella after the war. We should all sit down and discuss what's going to happen next." Leah nodded, and thought that that would be a lot of angst to go into at a time when we should be preparing for battle. We all already had so much on our plates.

"You should train with me," she said breaking the thoughtful silence that had fallen between us. "I will fight, so you might as well be sure I'm prepared," she added as she shoved off the couch and walked to her living room closet and grabbed her coat. I groaned, still wishing that I could talk her out of the notion.

"Fine, but there's one thing I want to do before we leave." I quickly planted myself in front of her.

"Really, what?" She seemed confused but I was quick to enlighten her. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her with all the passion I could muster. She wrapped her arms tightly around me and did the same. A moan of satisfaction escaped her as I gently separated us.

"Now, we train!" I joyfully pulled her swiftly out the door and into the night.

Author's Note: I hope everyone liked this chapter. As always please read, review, and no flames.