Chapter 1

The first sign that something was wrong came in the shape of a simple statement: "Work can wait." And looking back on it, Everett realized he probably should have paid more attention to it at the time. He noticed that it was strange, but Rush himself was strange, and he never did learn quite how to understand him, so while things may have come as a surprise nothing Rush said or did ever truly shocked him. Disturbed him, yes. Pissed him off, certainly. But never shocked him. So when Rush took one look at the planet and said he would rather go down there than stay and fix the broken console, Everett just stared at him for a moment before shrugging his permission. Rush had wasted no more words, going at once to his quarters for a change of clothes, then reappearing in the gate room and waiting impatiently for the rest of the away team. Eli had been restless and irritable lately, and he'd begged to be allowed to go also. Everett agreed partly because the kid was getting on everybody's nerves and a change of scenery would do him some good.

So they went. And there they were now, standing in the wind, on some grassy knoll overlooking an enormous silver lake. The overcast sky was threatening rain, but for now it was just the breeze.

"Seventeen hours, people," Everett announced loudly. "Whatever you're here to do, do it fast."

Lieutenants Scott and Johansen made for the lake with Rush in tow to determine if the water was drinkable. Greer and Varro were on perimeter duty, weapons raised, circling the group in a wide ring. Eli disappeared into a nearby tree grove.

Everett sidestepped down the hill, steep as it was, taking in the striking beauty of this world. It looked very much like Earth. But then, most did. This one was something special, though. It was so green, hilly, mildly humid, with sharp mountain peaks stabbing the sky in the distance. The gray sky felt low over their heads, and way out there he could see a rain storm coming their way. He hoped it would rain water, and not acid or something.

At the lake's edge, Scott and T.J. were comparing small, half-filled glass beakers.

"Well?"

"It's water, sir," Matt said happily, which was good because from the top of that hill it looked more like mercury. "We can purify it back on the ship."

Everett nodded. "Take as much as you can." Then he paused and smiled. "Well, enough to last five more weeks, anyway."

Matt grinned. "Yes, sir."

Everett glanced to Rush, who was sitting on his heels on the pebbled beach and looked lost in his own little world. He seemed tired. Everyone was tired. It was eight months after they emerged from their stasis pods that Rush had discovered another Icarus planet, a real one this time, he swore, and calculated that it would take five additional months to reach it. That was four months ago. The whole ship had been on edge ever since the whispers began again about the possibility of going home, cautious with their fragile enthusiasm, not wanting to speak of it too loudly in case that would shatter this hope into black oblivion. Not like we haven't been down that road before. But this time there was no reversal, no admission of false data. Eli had dedicated an entire day just to the task of making sure this plan was for real. And so far, it seemed to be. This nightmare was almost over. They were all ready to wake up.

He knew Rush was upset. Worse, he understood why. Once the big cheeses in SGC and the IOA heard about the planet, they had given very explicit instructions to the Destiny crew to return to Earth immediately, if not sooner. Failure to comply would result in "consequences". Rush had fought and fought and fought, seeking anyone who would stand with him and try to wheedle the brass into allowing them to stay, challenging the actual reach of the government's influence, questioning how exactly the consequences were to be enforced across billions of lightyears of space, emphasizing to everyone how far they'd come, appealing to them not to let it all be in vain, reminding them that at one time they had been prepared to stay no matter what.

Didn't matter, he'd been told. Those people that had chosen to stay may have been us, but they weren't us. Things are different now. We've been out here too long. It's not worth it.

Sorry.

Everett suspected his own about-face had hurt the most. Immediately after the order was given to return, Rush had come to him looking for an ally. He'd asked him to stand at his side, just as he had the first time, to make the rest of the crew and SGC understand that they belong here. But as much as he hated to admit it, everyone else was right. Things had changed too much, they'd learned too much, priorities had shifted. Most of their reasons were personal, yes, a point Rush had made many times, but it did not make them invalid. Everett did fight, but it was a lukewarm attempt, and there was no way to hide that from the critical eyes of his friend. If he could still call him that. In the end the order stood, and it was three weeks before Rush started speaking to him again.

He prayed every day that Rush would change too, and that returning to Earth wouldn't be as bad as he feared it would. He would find meaning there too, Everett was sure of it, especially after everything he'd learned out here. His knowledge and skills would be in high demand. He might even get the opportunity to contribute to the growth of a whole new generation of SG science teams. The possibilities were astounding! It wasn't the end of the world.

He climbed back up the hill, listening to his lieutenants chitter about being back home again, drinking Earth water, eating Earth food, sleeping in real beds. Five more weeks, he told himself, cresting the hill.

Eli was still in the trees. Everett went to find him, ducking thick leaves and branches. Eli was standing with his back to him, staring up at the sky with his hands in front of him where Everett couldn't see. "Hey, Eli."

Eli spun around and stood rigid with his hands behind his back now. "Colonel," he greeted him cheerily. He had a grin on his face, like a little kid caught doing something he shouldn't. There was something wet and shiny on his chin.

Everett frowned. "What are you eating?"

Eli cleared his throat. "It's like an apple, I think," he said, producing some fruit from behind his back. It looked like an apple, except it was blue. The flesh was pure white.

"Eli!"

"I know, I know," Eli said.

"Why do you have to eat everything you encounter?"

Eli shrugged innocently. "I saw some birds eating this, so I figured it must be all right."

"Birds eat all kinds of things," Everett pointed out. This kid was going to poison himself someday. "Next time wait until we perform an edibility test, will you?"

Eli nodded, then took a hearty bite from the fruit. Everett sighed and turned back the way he came. They hadn't gated off the ship in three weeks, and it felt so, so good to get out and breathe some fresh air for a change, but even as he stood here enjoying this particularly delightful world, he found himself wrestling against a lurch in his gut that told him to stop wasting time and just get these people home. Being within reach was almost harder than being without hope of ever returning.

He forced himself to be patient for the next several hours while the team made several trips back and forth to the ship with water. Everett hoped they could bring enough that they wouldn't need to stop anymore from here until the planet. When Eli didn't shrivel up and die after a few hours, he also had several people pick as much fruit as they could carry. Soon, he told himself, you can eat a real apple. Greer even killed something that looked like a bison. Alien jerky, anyone?

When the seventeen hours were finally up, he made the order to return to the gate. Everyone made their way there, except Rush.

Of course.

Everett went down the hill again and found the scientist sitting at the water's edge, in the very same spot he had left him this morning. Rush's ability to remain inert in the same position for hours and hours never failed to baffle him, and he came up to his side. His hair was short again, like it had been when they'd first come to the ship, and the rain was plastering it to his head and face. Everett had the sudden unwelcome memory of the way Rush had looked after being freed from the alien water tank, and he recognized that Rush looked very much that same way now. A little scared, a little lost. No wetsuit or mind probe device this time, but it was as if that Rush had been cut out of the past and grafted here into the now.

"Hey," he said. "Something wrong?"

Rush didn't look at him. He kept his eyes forward, gazing out to the horizon, seemingly oblivious to the rain. "No, I'm fine."

His knee-jerk response. Everett shook his head. "All right. Time's up, let's go."

"Just give me a minute."

Everett thought this planet must've had a very slow rotation, or whatever celestial factors determine such things. It was still as bright as it had been when they landed, and the only sign that time had actually passed was the heaviness in his eyes. He wanted to go to bed, and he was not prepared to let Rush keep him from it. "You've had seventeen hours," he said. Normally Rush was the antsy one herding everyone toward the gate. He had practically demanded to be allowed to come here, and all he wanted to do was sit? He hadn't even helped gather food or water. If was going to sit around and be useless, he could do that on the ship. "Do you know how many minutes that is?"

"One thousand and twenty," Rush said quietly.

Everett rolled his eyes. "Let's move."

Rush sighed, and very faint whoosh of breath. Everett barely heard it over the rain. "This planet reminds me of home," Rush said, brushing off his combat pants.

"Earth?"

"Scotland. The Highlands. Beautiful country. I forgot how much I missed it."

Ah. Homesickness. Everett clapped him on the shoulder as they got moving. "Well, just think about this: In just over a month, you'll be back there again."

He was rewarded with such a lack of reaction that it made him frown. Rush didn't disagree, but he didn't agree, either. He ignored the comment entirely.

Well, fine. If he wanted to be grouchy about it, he could be grouchy. Everett wasn't going to let it foul his mood. The man was going to have to start accepting the inevitable sooner or later. They reached the gate much slower than he would have liked since Rush kept stopping to stare at the mountains, or look up the sky, or study the grass, or touch the rain, or smell the air, or listen to the wind, or do whatever in the world he was doing. Everett had to fidget to keep himself from dragging him the rest of the way. When they finally got there Eli dialed, and the lieutenants went through first with their haul. Eli was next, then Greer and Varro. When it was Rush's turn, he moved very slowly, taking everything in, one last look, one last breath. Everett almost pushed him through, and the wormhole closed.

T.J. and Scott were already unloading the kino sled. He went to them, pulling barrels of water off and lining them up on the floor. T.J. was moving strangely, struggling a little with the barrels and favoring her left arm.

"You all right?"

She straightened and nodded, working the joint in circles. "Shoulder's sore. I must have pulled a muscle or something."

His gut fluttered with worry. He knew she was carrying ALS, and every ache or pain she reported brought a fresh ripple of fear. He moved a little closer. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I must have overdone it somehow."

"How long has it been hurting?"

She shook her head. "Just a couple of days. I fell asleep in the infirmary again, maybe I just slept on it wrong."

He felt his forehead scrunch. "You should sleep in your quarters like everyone else."

She smiled. "I wish. There's a lot to do to prepare for getting home." Everett could tell she was trying for cheerful, but something in her voice sat wrong. He could tell when she was forcing a smile. He frowned.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded gently. "I'll be fine, don't worry. Just gotta be careful with it for awhile."

She was still talking about her arm. He wasn't. "No, I mean…you seem…" He gestured vaguely with his hand, unable to pick the word. She raised an eyebrow. He could see Scott watching them with his eyes rolling, probably annoyed that he was now unloading all this water by himself. "I don't know. Just not as happy as you should be, I guess."

Her hesitation before smiling was only there for a fleeting moment, but he caught it all the same. "I am happy," she assured him. Then she sighed. "Five more weeks."

He tried to be comforted. He gave her a fake smile of his own and reached for another barrel. A change in his peripheral vision made him turn to see Rush leaving the gate room to disappear to somewhere within the guts of the ship, his head low and his arms folded across himself.

He really should have been paying attention.

Not that it would have helped.

Once the water was off the sled and on its way to be purified, Everett left the gate room for the communications lab. Homeworld Command had insisted on weekly check-ins ever since they learned that they were coming home, but he hadn't used the stones in almost four weeks. Someone would be panicky waiting for a status report.

He came through to the body of someone he didn't know. David Telford was there waiting for him on the other side.

"David," Everett greeted him, standing from the chair.

"Everett!" Telford said, half with joy, half with unmitigated exasperation. He took his friend in his arms, slapping him on the shoulder before releasing. "Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting for a contact? There are some pretty pissed off people in here."

"I know, and I'm sorry. We had some problems and today we had to make a stop for water and food."

Telford shook his head, still smiling. "Better late than never, huh? Anyway, I'll let General O'Neill know you're here." He went for the door.

"Uh," Everett said, and Telford paused. "Actually, I was hoping just to drop in and let you all know we're still alive. If I don't get back soon, Mister, um…" - he looked down at the name on his fatigues - "…Blackstone is going to spontaneously pass out, and I'd rather it happen in my quarters."

Telford hesitated. "Seriously? You came just to tell me that?"

"Well, yeah."

Telford sighed. "Fair enough. But next time make sure you have enough time to talk, huh?"

"Will do. I should get going."

"All right. But hey, listen, the bigwigs want me to come aboard and assess the situation as soon as possible."

He shrugged. "Okay."

"And they said that I should switch with Rush."

Everett paused. "Tomorrow should be fine," he said warily. What they would possibly want Rush for, he couldn't guess.

"All right. First thing in the morning."

Everett nodded. "First thing."

Back in his own body, Everett forced himself to make one last stop before he went to bed. He found Brody, Rush, and Eli on the bridge, which wasn't all that surprising since it was technically four in the afternoon, except that two of them had spent the entire night on the planet collecting food supplies. Brody was sitting at his console, with Eli stretching and yawning at his side. Rush was in the command chair.

"Don't you people ever sleep?" Everett asked as he walked in.

Eli laughed. "Our fearless leader insists on getting something done," he said, nodding his head to the command chair. He went largely ignored. Everett turned to the scientist, who did not acknowledge him.

"Don't you think your people deserve a little rest?"

"I didn't ask them to go to the planet," Rush said without looking up from whatever he was doing. "That was their choice. They're on the clock now, and will be until their shift is over."

Everett rolled his eyes. "Guys, go to bed." To Rush, he said, "They need you to switch out with Telford tomorrow first thing."

That earned him a narrowed eye and a confused scowl, but Rush simply nodded and got back to work.

Everett sluggishly made his way to his quarters. He didn't remember arriving at his room. He didn't remember removing his shoes, lying on the bed, or turning off his lamp. All of a sudden he was waking up in the morning, feeling quite a bit better, thank you, and he checked his watch and realized he had slept for fifteen straight hours. He knew he should get up, but he was so comfortable…

Then there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he called before he could stop himself, and he pushed himself up and tried to make himself presentable before the door opened. All concern over his appearance evaporated the moment Eli walked in looking wrecked. Everett almost asked if the fruit was poisonous after all, but the way Eli nervously wrung his hands effectively strangled him.

"Colonel," said the kid anxiously, seemingly untroubled by Everett's bedhead. He faltered for a moment, then turned around and palmed the door control, giving them some privacy. He turned again to face Everett and said quietly, "I think something is wrong with Rush…"