Geek: Glad you guys are liking my crack fic with the Tatum! I'm planning on him not being the only actor in my little fic, so yep, be on the look out for that! P.S. I'm sorry that fantasy can't seem to stay out of my fics ;~;

All hell broke loose. Sebastian was dodging silver forks being thrown at his face, Erwin was slashing and parrying his double's blows, France was in a deadly dance of bullets and guns with his female self, Kyoya had just jumped over his female self by using the wall as a springboard and Scar had made a spear out of no where and was swinging deadly arcs at his genderbent version. Now where was…

"Oof!"

I am hit in the chest with someone's body weight and was crushed to the floor. I look up to see my female version holding a toothed knife that glimmered meanicingly. Her eyes are dark red and flaring and she grinned demonically, her shark teeth shining.

"Soo sorry, dear but-" she shrugs, "-this is how it's gotta be. It's not like you're the fi-gghgh!"

I was so done with this shit. I kicked her off and scrambled over to the DJ machine. This had to have something to do with this. I look over to see Kyoya do a flip over his counterpart and stab her in the chest, but instead of blood on his pen-blade, black ooze came from the girl's gash. She laughs as her gash heals itself and she lunges at the host club manager. I quickly looked for something, anything that would help...bingo!

A small, gold plug was linked into the wall, but as I attempted to pull it out…

"Found you~!" Female Me giggles, her eyes flashing murderously. I notice something around my female self. A purplish aura, and the same color purple flickers in her eyes...I grin.

"Good. See, I'm not into this…" I gesture to her body. "And I had pretty much enough of this crack shit. So! Kill me off why don't ya?"

I knew these weren't exact humans. Humans would be skeptical. She was not. She held the knife right above where my chest cavity was. Right where I was leaning against on the wall, very very close to it was the gold wire. She came down quickly and at the last second, I rolled out of the way, her knife cutting the wire messily.

Her eyes widen in horror in what she had done, and I smirk, pushing my glasses up my nose.

"Not very smart are ya?" I ask.

I see her arm that was holding the knife turn into shadow, her knife clattering to the floor. I run a hand through my hair, quite satisfied. Her whole body goes up in black smoke a blood curdling scream coming from her as she disappears into nothing. Other feminine screams fill the room. They're inhuman, almost mechanical. And it hurts. I cover my ears and shut my eyes, trying to block it out. It wasn't the screams of fans I was used to. It was...painful.

"...Michael." I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up to see Erwin, his blue eyes filled with concern.

"On your feet, soldier. I know it's not great, but it was you or them." He says.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?!"

"No, the truth isn't supposed to."

"..."

I look at him, and he offers me a hand up. I take it and pull myself up.

"Are you alright, mon ami?" Asks France.

I can't help but remember most of these people had a terrible life. Scar's whole race was destroyed. France has been through so many wars and the woman he loved was burned by his own people. Erwin had the blood of people who should've been anywhere but a battlefield. Kyoya's family always compared him to his brothers. The only one who may have had a semi good life was Sebastian. But he was a demon, so screw that.

I smirked confidently. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"...No reason."

~oOo~

(Third Person POV)

As the group left, they didn't seem to notice the shadow of a form glide across the wall, or sudden shimmering purple 'S + E' appear on the wall. Or even the giggle from an obviously thrilled character. The DJ booth flashed a green, and the light seemed to float out of the room with lightning speed, down the hall to check on the others. They weren't stupid enough to only capture one actor. The person wondered when subject JMT would finally figure that out. Probably soon, the room is up here… It muses, as it laughed and disappeared to create more mischief.