Finally the 48 hours were up. Dean was more than ready to blow this joint. The nurses weren't even hot.
The ride back to Bobby's house was awkward. This whole damn thing was awkward. Sam and Bobby didn't know how to act around him. No one knew what to say. Things were just...weird.
The first thing Dean did upon arrival was make a beeline to the fridge. He opened it, anxious to have a drink. But all the alcohol was gone!
"Hey, uh, Bobby, we're out of Hunter's Helper."
"And?"
"And we need more!" He reached into his pocket for the Impala's keys before realizing that Sam had them.
"Sammy!" Dean stormed into the living room. "Keys. Now."
His brother just looked at him. "You need to dry out, Dean."
"Like Hell! Listen, Sam, you don't need to babysit me."
"I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" Suddenly they noticed Castiel. He was standing awkwardly in the corner.
"Actually-"
"Actually nothing. What is it, Cas?"
"There have been demonic omens all over Sioux City. I was surprised that you three have done nothing about it thus far." For the first time, Cas seemed to notice that Dean's wrists were still bandaged. He frowned. "You are injured. Let me heal you."
The angel made a move forward to touch Dean, but he dodged. "There's a demon in town and nobody bothered to tell me? Or hell, take care of it your damn selves?"
"We were a little preoccupied, Dean."
Castiel looked confused. "Am I missing something?"
Sam said 'sort of' at the same time Dean spat 'none of your damn business'.
"We've got a demon on our hands. Can we please just stow the couples therapy and focus on that?" He left the room, muttering something about going to pack rock salt into shotgun shells.
Bobby shot Sam a helpless glance and followed.
Sam rubbed his temples. Maybe they should've put Dean in the psych ward.
"Is Dean alright?" Castiel asked quietly.
"No." Sam didn't feel like going into detail, but he figured that the angel deserved to know. He was the closest thing Dean had to a friend. Maybe he could make a difference.
"Dean is...depressed. He's been cutting himself. I-I think he wants to die." Sam's voice broke on the last word. Saying it out loud...made it feel even more real. He didn't want to believe it.
Cas was silent, his expression hard to read. "Why?" he finally asked.
"I don't know, I think it has something to do with what happened in Hell. He said you should have left him there."
"Why would he think that? I can't imagine it was a pleasant experience."
"He feels guilty about torturing all those souls."
"Oh," Cas nodded. "That would make sense. But he held out longer than anyone could have. I don't blame him."
"Neither do I, but he blames himself."
"That is unfortunate." Cas shuffled his feet uncomfortably, looking unsure. "Maybe I could...talk to him."
"I think that's a good idea. Cause he sure as hell isn't listening to me." Sam said, frustrated.
Bobby and Dean sat in the basement, packing rock salt into shotgun shells. Neither of them knew what to say, so there was just an awkward silence. Dean's internal voice was screaming at him to cut, but he was almost certain Bobby wouldn't let him out of sight.
But he needed it.
He stood up, and so did Bobby, looking at him questioningly.
"What? You seriously gonna follow me everywhere?"
"If that's what it takes."
"If that's what it takes to what?! Keep me from killing myself? Maybe you've forgotten that I didn't slit my wrists, the ghouls did. That whole thing at the hospital was just for the doctor's sake, to explain it. I'm not actually suicidal." He lied.
"These for the doctor's sake too?" Bobby grabbed Dean's arm, gesturing to the many other cuts and scars. "You just been preparin' to get jumped by ghouls and you wanted to make sure no emergency room would ask questions? Bullshit."
"Think what you want." Dean started to leave.
"Where do you think you're goin'?"
"To take a leak, geez."
Bobby didn't look convinced, but he let it go.
For the first time in two days, Dean had some privacy. He let out a sigh of relief. Fucking finally. He locked himself in the bathroom and started to look for something to cut with. To his dismay, Sam and Bobby had removed all sharp objects.
Come on...This was Bobby's house. He had to have a hidden blade in every room. The man was paranoid as hell.
He started looking closer, searching for a loose tile or something. He was rewarded for his efforts by finding a false bottom in a drawer. Bingo. There lay a large hunting knife. This would do.
He took it out, looking at it almost reverently. Now to cut somewhere they wouldn't notice. He lifted up his shirt and was about to make a small cut on his hip when he heard a voice behind him.
"Are you going to cut yourself?"
"Jesus, Cas!" He yelped. "You can't just spy on people when they're in the john. That's a whole new level of creepy."
"My apologies." Cas tilted his head. "I can read your thoughts, you know. They aren't good thoughts."
"Dude, get out of my head." Dean felt violated.
"I need to make sure you aren't going to kill yourself."
"Why, so I can be a part of your whole top-secret angel plan?"
The angel looked slightly hurt. "I suppose. But I also consider you a friend."
Dean sighed. "I'm sorry. But seriously, get out. This is wrong."
"We can talk outside."
"You're not gonna leave me alone, are you?"
"I'm afraid not. Please give me the knife." Cas held out his hand.
Dean felt like he was drowning. "Please, Cas. I need it. I'm not suicidal. I just...I need this, okay?"
"You are lying. You want to die. I can sense the hopelessness and despair. It radiates from you."
"Just cause I want to doesn't mean I'm actually gonna do it."
"Humans are impulsive and unpredictable creatures."
"Dammit." Dean swore. He made a split second decision. He needed to cut. Even if it was just one before the angel wrestled the blade away from him. He needed this.
Cas was by his side in an instant, before Dean could even move. He forced the blade from Dean's hand and slipped it into a pocket of his trench coat.
"You are not exactly proving me wrong, Dean."
"Stop reading my fucking thoughts!" Dean exploded. "I swear. You, Sam, Bobby...you're treating me like a kid. I know what I'm doing. I'm not stupid."
"I...never said you were."
Dean pushed past Castiel and stormed out of the bathroom. He went straight for the back door, quickly leaving before anyone could follow him.
Sam watched from the window, and made a move to follow.
"Don't." Cas put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "He needs some time to himself."
"I can't just leave him alone. He'll kill himself."
"I will follow him and stop him if he tries anything."
"Thanks, Cas." As the angel vanished, leaned against the counter, feeling drained.
What were they gonna do with Dean?