Chapter 8

"What the hell do ya mean a car tried to run you down?" Dally yelled. "We fucking told you to stay in the freaking house!"

Dally's gaze and ice cold eyes could freak most people out and Johnny had always thought that was the scariest thing about him. But now - only being able to hear him - was actually worse.

"I was just -" Pony started, his voice trembling. "We were just practicing some of the exercises."

"What are you - freaking stupid? What freaking exercises?" Dally shouted and there was a loud bang, making Johnny jump in his seat. "You're not supposed to leave the house! Don't you get it?"

"Easy, Dally."

It was Soda's voice and Johnny turned his head in his direction; but then Two-Bit said something, making Johnny turn his head that way. It was getting to be too much. No one was talking to him but he had to turn his head to really follow each person and they just kept talking from every direction.

"Please," said Ponyboy. "Can't we just relax and... and talk calmly. Johnny's getting confused."

Suddenly everyone went quiet and Johnny could feel the eyes on him, which was rather uncomfortable. Even though he knew every person in the room, the feeling of being watched and not being able to determine where the observer was, was freaking him out, but hearing the sound of someone snorting and then walking off, Johnny guessed that Dally had left the room. He never did like to be told to calm down and from the sound of his voice, he had been ready to kill.

OoOoOoO

Pony dropped down next to Johnny, making him jump and Ponyboy immediately apologized for not giving him a warning.

The entire conversation had obviously made Johnny confused. He had kept turning his head, trying to figure out just how many people were in the room. Had the mood not been so grave Pony would probably have laughed a bit at his friend. He looked so bewildered and somewhat cute, actually. Ponyboy suddenly realized just how helpless Johnny was now. He wouldn't be able to notice anyone if they came sneaking up on him. He had even gotten startled the moment Pony had sat down even though he hadn't been sneaking over beside him. He felt stupid. At first he had thought it was really unfair of Dally acting up the way he did but now he believed he had actually deserved the earful he had gotten and even the beating Dally clearly had wished to give him. He was so careless.

Sending both his brothers a look of concern, Pony put an arm around Johnny and pulled him a bit closer. Sodapop had also seemed to notice the confused look on the blind kid's face so he went over and sat down on the other side of Johnny.

"You boys wanna go get some fresh air?" he asked and quickly added, "In the back yard. No cars there," as he saw how quickly both boys' expressions changed to a nervous one.

"Probably best they both stay inside for now," Darry said, pulling the curtain aside to look out the window as a few cars drove by. He clearly wasn't in the mood for more fighting between Socs and greasers. Sure it wasn't like the moment Johnny would set a foot outside, a bunch of rich kids would fall out of the sky and attack him but one couldn't be too careful, Pony guessed.

"Man, can't we just put Johnny in the front yard and then when they come by, we jump 'em'" Two-Bit said and bashed his fist into the palm of his other hand.

Steve slapped him across the head, making the red haired greaser yelp.

"Man, Two-Bit you sure drew the short straw when it came to brains," Steve said and sent him a look of irritation.

Two-Bit hung his head and mumbled that he thought it was a good idea and something about Johnny not being able to see them anyways so what harm was there to be done.

Johnny leaned heavily against Pony's shoulder and closed his eyes. Pony looked down at him and gave his shoulder a small squeeze, making Johnny let out a low gasp.

"Does it hurt?" Pony asked rather surprised by the gasp and Johnny gave a small nod. "Not too bad, though. I just landed on that shoulder when you decided to throw me," he said with a fake grin.

"Oh… sorry," Pony said and also made a half chuckling sound. "I promise I'll throw you a bit lighter or give you a heads up next time."

Two-Bit raised an eyebrow at them both and started to complain to Steve about why it was okay for them, but not him, to joke about it.

"Because you actually meant it," Steve said with a resigned sigh.

OoOoOoO

Later that evening the house had finally gone quiet. Steve and Two-Bit had gone for the night. Not because they needed to but because they felt like they had to. Johnny had seemed really tensed up by the whole conversation earlier that day, so some peace and quiet would do him good.

Sodapop had gone to sleep in his own room since they had all agreed days back that Johnny stayed with Ponyboy.

Darry stood in the kitchen against the doorframe leading to the living room and watched Johnny and Ponyboy sitting on the couch. Johnny with his head against Pony's shoulder and from the looks of it, he had fallen asleep. Pony was trying to do some of the homework he had been missing out on while he'd been gone but it probably wasn't easy with the other boy hanging on him like that.

"When is it due?" Darry asked and Ponyboy looked up.

"Monday…" he sighed.

"It's only Thursday," Darry said and walked in. "Maybe you should just call it a night and go to bed."

Pony sent him a look of disbelief.

"What?" Darry asked, all defensive, and Pony just shook his head quickly.

"You just never told me not to finish my homework before. That's all."

"Yeah well, I'm telling you now, okay kiddo? Now go to bed."

Darry bend down and closed Ponyboy's notebook, but on his way back up he noticed the expression on his baby brother's face. He looked lost. Mostly like his entire world had shattered and nothing would be able to ever put it back together.

"Darry," he started as he noticed Darry looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"Was it… really my fault today? With the car and all?"

Darry wasn't sure what Pony meant by this. How could it be his fault? He didn't drive the car.

"Of course not. How could it be?" Darry said and sat down next to him. "That's a stupid question, Pony. You didn't exactly tell 'em to try and run you over. "

Pony just gave a little shrug; the best he could, considering the position he was in.

"Dally seemed to think it was my fault," he mumbled and bit his lower lip.

"Look, Pony," Darry said in a firm voice and turned to face the younger male. "Dally is a hot head. Whenever he gets scared he gets angry and he has to blame someone. Today it was you. Tomorrow it's an old lady on the street and next week it's some random guy he's never seen before. That's how he is and you should know this by now."

"I guess… " Pony said and dropped his head but after a few seconds he looked up at Darry with a questionable expression. "You really think he was scared?"

"Terrified," Darry said and nodded as he cracked a half smile. "But don't tell him I told you. It'll ruin him."

"I was actually thinking of making posters and putting them up all over town," Pony joked, moving his head back up with a grin.

"Your funeral, little man," Darry said and winked at him before getting up. "Now both of you get to bed. You got school tomorrow and Two-Bit's gonna look after Johnny. "

"I don't need a babysitter…" Johnny mumbled suddenly and the two others looked down at him.

"How long have you been awake?" Pony asked. His voice sounded shocked. He probably wouldn't have liked Johnny to hear the whole 'blame himself' conversation, Darry figured.

"Long enough," Johnny replied and sat up. He stretched once and bent his neck a bit. "Not the best nap I ever had, considering I sleep at the lot most of the time," he joked and got up, followed by Pony.

Darry watched as Pony helped the skinny dark-haired teen to his room and Darry's face turned sad. How was this ever going to end in some sort of happy ending? The trial was next week and there would surely be a few of the Socs that would like to have a word with Johnny. Even if he got off easy and avoided jail time, what would await him beyond the walls of the State Prison? A prison at the Curtis house? He would never be able to walk alone on the streets even with a white cane. The Socs would jump him or maybe even kill him if they got the chance. That had pretty much been proven today and knowing Johnny, Johnny wouldn't leave the house along with anyone, should he think they would be in danger because of him. Darry wouldn't be surprised if Johnny never left the house again after what happened today. Darry sighed and went back into the kitchen to clean up before going to bed.

OoOoOoO

Pony had helped Johnny to bed and was now lying with his back to him. The slow breathing from Johnny, made Pony pretty sure that he was asleep. As he lay there, looking at the screens in front of the window and seeing the light from passing cars being cast though, he started to wonder what would have happened if he had not pushed Johnny. That scene kept going through his head over and over and no matter what anyone said, he kept blaming himself. If he had not pushed him, Johnny might have had his sight still. Or even worse. What if he had not run off and taken Johnny with him to the park. Then Johnny wouldn't have killed that good looking Soc and this whole thing wouldn't have happened in the first place. He was so stupid. Dally was right. Everything was his fault. He was the stupid one. It was his mess and he should have been the one on trial and the one that was blind. Not Johnny.

"It's not your fault, Pony…"

Pony froze as he heard Johnny's voice behind him. He turned onto his back and looked at the black-haired teen. He could just make out that he still had his eyes closed but he was sure he had just said something.

"W-what?"

"I said, it's not your fault," Johnny said again. "I told you that once before remember?" He then went quiet for a minute. "Your breathing has become kinda unsettled so it ain't hard to figure out what you're thinking about. You're blaming yourself again even though I told you not to."

Johnny moved an arm up across Pony's chest and Ponyboy put a hand on the smooth skin of the lower arm.

"I'm sorry," Pony replied, a little shameful. "I'll stop blaming myself… I promise."

Still looking at Johnny and he saw out of the dim light from a car passing, a small smile appeared on the other boy's lips.

"Yeah… you better keep that promise," Johnny said in a low voice.

Pony kept his eyes on Johnny as he let his fingers run over his lower arm. They had lain like this before. Back in the church this was the way they kept warm. Lying close. But now? Johnny moved closer to him and placed his nose against his neck, cuddling closer to him and pulling Pony in with his arm.

Ponyboy felt his heart starting to race for some unknown reason. It was just Johnny? There was nothing strange about this. He had lain like this countless times with Soda.

"Don't worry so much, Pone..," Johnny said in a low voice against Pony's neck. "You saved me. I'm sure of it."

Johnny's breathing became steady and slow. Pony tilted his head to the side and landed his cheek against Johnny's hair, closing his eyes, with the thoughts going through his head.

It's not my fault, you say. I have to believe that.

Hello readers! I am sorry it took so long for me to get back to you but as I said in the last chapter, I was in the middle of moving and I sadly also ran into a few personal problems. But I am back now and I hope you will read on =)

Zayhad ~