More. Dean's internal voices were screaming at him.
The cut from the glass hadn't been enough. If he was gonna stay alive; if he couldn't kill himself...he needed this.
It had only been two hours. The shakes were back. Goddammit.
"Dean?" Sam walked over. "Must be kinda hard to type with your hands shaking like that."
Dean forced a laugh. "Yeah. Why don't you give me another beer. Might help."
"Nice try." Sam wasn't amused.
"I'll be right back." Dean mumbled, shoving the laptop at Sam.
His brother watched suspiciously. "What are you doing?"
"What I normally do after watching porn." Dean tried to be convincing, giving Sam his creepiest wink as he shut the bathroom door behind him.
"Dude, gross."
Finally, he was alone.
He made sure the door was locked before digging the shard of glass out of the trash can, the sharp edge still stained with his blood. He washed it off, and began to feed his addiction.
He took off his shirt, and let the voices win.
One cut. Loser. Two cuts. Pathetic. Three cuts. Weak. Four cuts. Monster.
each cut was deeper than the last. By thirty, Dean realized that he'd gotten carried away again. He'd probably need stitches, and the bleeding wasn't stopping anytime soon. He looked in the mirror. Jesus, he looked like something out of a horror movie.
Suddenly he sensed movement. Castiel appeared behind him, causing Dean to jump.
"Fuck! Cas!"
"Dude, really? Gross. Keep it down." Sam called from the other side of the door.
Dean's face flushed red as he realized how that must have sounded.
"Dean, what have you done?" The angel looked sad.
"Cas?" There was a pause. "Oh my God, he's actually in there with you. It finally happened. I'm leaving."
Dean tried not to laugh as he heard Sam scrambling around, getting his stuff, and slamming the door behind him.
"What...finally happened?" Cas looked confused.
"Nothing, dude. You can leave now."
"No. You are hurt."
"I'm fine."
"Some of those cuts require stitches. Let me heal you."
Cas stepped forward, and Dean backed into the counter. "O-kay, easy there, angel. Can we not do this in here?"
"Of course."
They exited the bathroom, and Dean collapsed onto the bed. The adrenaline was fading, and the pain was kicking it. He felt dizzy...
Cas touched his forehead, and Dean felt a warmth spreading through his chest, along with a bizarre sensation as his wounds closed.
"Thanks."
"You are welcome."
"Please don't tell Sam."
Cas frowned. "I cannot always be here to save you. Sam must know so he can keep you safe."
"Please, Cas." He begged.
"I'm sorry, Dean."
And the angel was gone.
Castiel dared only leave Dean alone for a few minutes. He quickly located Sam in the motel lobby.
"Sam."
The younger Winchester looked surprised, and slightly embarrassed for some reason. "Hey."
"Come back to the room immediately." Cas commanded.
Leaving a confused Sam behind, Cas returned to check on Dean.
He was hurriedly trying to clean up the evidence, attempting to scrub the dried blood off his chest.
"Please tell me you didn't go get Sam."
Cas almost felt guilty. Dean looked so scared.
"I'm sorry."
Just then, Sam opened the door, looking out-of-breath. "What's u-?" He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Dean washing the blood off his skin. "Dean..."
Dean couldn't look his brother in the eye. He threw a shirt on, and walked out of the bathroom. He closed the door, trying to hide the bloody mess.
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
"Dude, you're covered in blood."
"I could sense that he was harming himself, so I decided to interrupt him before he did any permanent damage." Castiel explained.
"Oh. Oh!" A look of realization appeared on Sam's face. He chuckled. "I uh, thought something else was going on."
"Like what?" Cas was confused. There was nothing funny about this situation.
"Nothing. Leave it." Dean looked embarrassed.
Sam grinned.
"What?" Cas was beyond curious now.
"I thought you and him were...uhh..."
"Fucking, Cas. He thought we were fucking." Dean said flatly. "It's not funny, Sam."
"Oh!" Cas said awkwardly. "He thought we were having intercourse? Why?"
"Cause you two have this weird crush thing going on, I don't know."
"I'm sorry, Dean. I don't 'swing that way', as I've heard it said." Cas looked at him apologetically.
"Dude, neither do I. It's fine." Dean looked relieved. "Okay, now that that's out of the way..."
"Now that that's out of the way, we're gonna talk about what's going on with you."
"Noooooo" Dean groaned.
Great. Another freaking intervention.