Sorry this has taken so long, I really struggled to write Dylan 'opening up' to someone the way Rita did, so I hope this chapter's okay.
I'm still not sure about a romance for Rita. I have a couple of options in mind but I don't think anything's going to happen until after Rita's settled with the baby. Just out of interest, do those of you who want her to be in a relationship but not with Dylan have any preferences for who you'd like to see her with?
"You alright?" Zoe asked, sitting down on the bench beside Dylan and lighting up a cigarette.
"Yes" Dylan said unconvincingly, "I erm, I just thought I'd get some air whilst we're not too busy."
Zoe nodded and inhaled deeply on her cigarette, "yeah, I thought I'd take my break too whilst we're…" she shook her head, "I'm not even going to say it."
"Yes, I don't blame you it does almost feel like the calm before the storm doesn't it?"
Zoe nodded before asking, "Have you spoken to Rita lately?"
"We worked together last night but that's not what you mean is it?"
"No" Zoe said dryly, "you know it isn't, have you spoken to her about the baby?"
"No, no, I erm, I've given it some thought and I still think that it would probably be best if I left well alone, I have every confidence that Rita will be a very competent parent and she won't want me interfering."
"Dylan" Zoe sighed, "it's not about how competent Rita will be, or about you interfering. Raising a child is hard work, Rita might be the best mother in the world but I'm sure she'd be grateful of your support, of an extra pair of hands, someone to share parenthood with. Yes Rita could probably bring that baby up on her own but not only will it be easier for her, having both her parents in her life will be good for the baby, no matter what you say, you are not your father Dylan, that little girl will benefit greatly from having you in her life and you know what? I think you'd benefit from being a father too."
"I'm more than willing to provide for the baby, I know that I'm just as responsible for her existence as Rita, I've been looking into child support and…"
"Dylan" Zoe sighed as she took another drag on her cigarette, "I don't just mean financial support, Rita will need emotional support too, and someone to be there for her. Someone to hold a crying baby so she can go to the loo, someone who'll sit with the baby so Rita can sleep after being up all night.
"And what if I'm not this amazing, natural father like everyone seems to think I'll be, what if she accidentally knocks over my coffee and I lose my temper and scare her? What if..."
"You won't" Zoe interrupted, "you won't because you know what it's like to have a father like that and you'll do your best to not be like him." She took another drag on her cigarette, "have you spoken to Rita? She's probably worrying about things just as much as you are, it's a huge change for her too."
"I…"
"Talk to her Dylan, sort this out before you miss out on something as wonderful as watching your daughter grow up."
Several days passed where Dylan did almost nothing but think about Zoe's words to him, Rita seemed so happy, so excited about the baby that Dylan found it hard to believe she could be scared about becoming a mother. He knew he should talk to her, to try and sort things out before their daughter's arrival but he couldn't, he'd never been good at conversation and he had absolutely no idea how to start the conversation with Rita.
"Everything okay?" Rita asked as she approached Dylan as he stood, leaning on the railings, gazing down over the department.
Dylan jumped having not heard Rita walking towards him, "yes, yes, just erm, just having a moment."
Rita nodded, "I'm just about to take my break, I was going to have a cuppa in my office if you…"
"Yes" Dylan nodded after thinking for a moment, "that would be nice."
They walked to Rita's office in silence and she gestured for Dylan to sit down as she flicked on the kettle, "biscuit?" She offered him an open packet of chocolate digestives, putting them down and picking up a banana for herself as Dylan shook his head.
"Could I erm, could I have your bank account details?" Dylan asked after another few moments of tense silence, "I'd like to set up a direct debit for child support, unless you'd prefer a cheque every month of course" he began to ramble, "now I'm not sure how much nappies and other things cost but I think £750 a month is a reasonable amount, obviously if you need more then I can give you more and when you return to work we can sort something out in regards to paying for childcare. If you'd rather do it properly and go through the Child Support Agency then we can do that but…"
"Dylan" Rita said softly, "thank you, that would be a great help, I'll erm, I'll get you the details later?."
Dylan nodded as Rita handed him a mug, "thank you." They sat in silence for a while before Dylan spoke again as he watched Rita rubbing circles on her stomach, knowing she could probably feel the baby wriggling under her skin, "it's strange isn't it? Knowing there's another person in there."
Rita smiled and nodded, "yeah, it is, especially now she's more active… do you erm, do you want to feel?"
Dylan's face lit up, "Could I? I mean not if you'd be uncomfortable or…"
"Dylan" Rita interrupted him, "I wouldn't have offered if it'd make me uncomfortable" she said, gently taking his hand and placing it on the top of her bump, pressing it firmly against her skin, "that's her bum" she dragged his hand down the side of her stomach, "her back" and that" she pressed his hand against a firmness at the bottom of her bump, "is her head" she moved his hands again so he could feel the baby's movements, "and those are her little feet, or maybe her knees."
Rita let Dylan feel the baby moving for a while before moving away to make the tea once the kettle had boiled. She passed him his mug before sitting beside him with her own, an awkward silence once again filling the room.
"Are you scared?" Dylan asked out of the blue before clarifying, "about having the baby?"
Rita thought for a moment before nodding as she took a sip of her tea, "yeah" she whispered, "yeah I am."
Dylan was surprised by Rita's answer, "how do you do it then? How do you get over that...that overwhelming fear?"
"I don't know if you can" Rita said honestly, "but worrying about the what if's and worrying about everything that might go wrong won't change anything…" Rita sipped at her tea and gently rubbed circles on her stomach, "No matter how scared I am, she's due in 8 weeks, nothing I do, nothing I worry about will change that. I try not to think about it, I'm having a baby, I'll deal with anything else if and when it comes up. If I let myself dwell on all the things that scare me about having a baby, I'd never get anything else done."
"I'm worried I'll let her down" Dylan admitted, his head bowed.
Rita turned to face Dylan, "the only way you're certain to let her down is to walk away, you'll never let her down by being there for her."
"I haven't exactly been the best father figure though have I?"
"No" Rita said honestly, "but she doesn't know about any of this" she said as she ran her hand over her bump, "if you're there for her from the moment she's born, that's all she'll know. I'm not going to tell her you were so scared about becoming a dad that you thought it best to just walk away, if you're there for her the only thing she'll know is that her Daddy loves her. You were scared, I get that, and I understand why you wanted to walk away but I think she'd be lucky to have you as her Daddy. What's happened over the past few months hasn't been ideal, I get that but we've got 8 weeks, it's not too late for you to decide to be her Daddy."