A/N: Happy Birthday Week Tamaki! We get both get to celebrate turning older for 16 hours this Thursday/Friday when our birthdays overlap!
Not-too-descriptive intimacy at the end, you have been warned. This concludes my foray into TamuHaru land and makes it my first officially complete fanfic. Guess the secret is only having two chapters. please R&R and let me know what you think.
Haruhi closed the folder, put it aside on the coffee table, and stretched to relieve the tension in the center of her upper back. The movie looked to be only half way done; she'd finished much faster than she thought. She'd found what she was looking for buried in an addendum – a witness statement the prosecutor hadn't handed over that would back up her client's version of events.
Tamaki was completely absorbed in his show; for the last thirty minutes he'd only occasionally given her feet a squeeze, as if to remind himself that she was still there. Why did he always pick a spaghetti Western when given the option? She'd never quite gotten the appeal, too much random violence and not-so-thinly-veiled racism and misogyny for her taste. It was one of the few things that made her question whether there really were some things defined by gender; every one of the ex-Host Club loved the damn things, even Honey.
"Tamaki, I finished."
"Hmm, oh that's good," he said distractedly and gave her foot another squeeze.
Seriously? Not too long ago he would have pounced on her the minute the folder had hit the coffee table. Maybe married life really was the end of desire as her single friends from work had joked during her surprise after-the-fact bridal shower. But, Geez! Wasn't that supposed to happen later? It hadn't even been six months; they were still supposed to be in the passionate newlywed phase. Then again, they had been together for almost eleven years.
~oOoOo~
Tamaki cowered behind her, face buried in the back of her neck, as the girl crawled out of the well. He was such a wimp when it came to horror. There was a legal drama she really wanted to watch which would have bored him to tears, but he had needed a more suitable punishment.
"Please, Haruhi! Please turn it off!" He shuddered against her back, arms so tight around her they cut-off her ability to breathe.
"My choice this week, remember Tamaki-sempai? You said any movie I wanted."
"Please. I can't take anymore. Please make it stop. She's so scary," he whimpered.
"Not as scary as what you made me watch. Two rape scenes, sempai. Two!"
"I'm sorry for making you watch High Plains Drifter. I will never ask you to watch a spaghetti western again," he vowed.
"Well, if you're truly sorry…"
"I am! I am!" He looked up temporarily to catch her eyes, then ducked back behind her frightened as the creature on the screen started crawling out of the virtual television.
"Alright then," she smirked and picked up the remote to turn off the movie. She'd do a full 'The Ring' vs. 'Ringu' movie fest with Hikaru and Kaoru later. Apparently there was a drinking game.
Tamaki was still shivering against her back. Dating him had been different from what she'd expected. For someone so prone to daydreams and elaborate spectacles, it was the simple dates he loved most. Homemade dinner and a DVD, a walk along the Charles River, hunts for interesting 'American commoner' knick-knacks at Faneuil Hall Marketplace…
But, Boston was simply a hiatus from their real lives. In a month they'd return and he'd go back to being a Suoh and she to being a commoner. He'd be at Ouran University studying business, working more closely with his father, and trying to live up to all the expectations of his family while she'd be completing her final year of high school and trying to win a scholarship for law school. He would be pressured to marry an appropriate woman and she'd….
She shied away from completing the thought.
He'd given her so much this past year. Not the material things he kept trying to shower on her but things with real consequence – love, support, and all the fun and experiences missing from her narrow study-a-holic lifestyle. Whatever happened to them in the future, she wanted to have no regrets about what they had now.
"Was it really that scary, Tamaki-sempai," she said turning in his arms so she knelt to face him.
He looked at her, shell-shocked. "Terrifying!" His eyes grew darker, his moods could shift so quickly, and he stroked a hand against the side of her face. "I think I need to hold you for a long time until I feel better."
Haruhi leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. "Maybe you do, Tamaki," she said. She placed one hand on his shoulder and let the other trail down his chest to the hem of his shirt. He grabbed her hand when her fingertips brushed his skin.
"Haruhi, stop. I'm already on edge, if you do that I might not be able to control myself tonight."
She pulled back and looked into his beautiful violet eyes. "Did I say I wanted you to?" she asked. Her boldness suffused her cheeks with heat.
Tamaki's eyes grew wide and he swallowed hard. "R..Really? I mean, you are saying what I think you are, right?"
She giggled at his flustered response. "Yes, you idiot. I want to have sex with you." She laughed when his face turned as red as hers. She loved these small reminders that he was as much a novice at this as her. Later, she laughter even harder when Tamaki suddenly threw his clothes back on and bolted out of her bedroom to run back to his apartment for something he'd forgot.
It was tentative, awkward, and a bit embarrassing - research and good intentions can only take you so far - but it was perfect all the same. Even if things ended when they returned home, she knew she would have no regrets.
~oOoOo~
Haruhi pulled her feet off the pillow and tucked them under her, curling up against his shoulder and taking his hand in hers. He smiled and dropped a kiss on her forehead then returned to his film. She'd let him watch in peace; it was her fault movie night was cancelled for the third time in a row. He should have the chance to enjoy watching something he'd never pick if he'd known she'd be watching it with him.
She lightly trailed her fingers up and down his forearm, loving the feel of his muscles underneath her hand. It wasn't fair how men got even more attractive as they aged. That last growth spurt after high school had filled him out and transitioned his features from bishounen to ikemen. It didn't diminish his appeal to women in the least and he exerted his charm shamelessly on every female he came in contact with from infant to grandmother.
His flirting never bothered her, why should it? Only people who didn't know him would ever think he'd act on it. Tamaki's flirting, his flightiness and seeming immaturity, his definite narcissism – all various guesses people had made as to what might someday cause the end of their relationship. Nobody had ever suggested the one thing that nearly brought it all crashing down.
~oOoOo~
"What's this?" She stared with foreboding at the shiny key Tamaki had dropped on her table.
"A present for passing the bar exam!" He stood in her small living room, excitement vibrating through his body like a kid on Christmas day. Whatever it was, it was big and it came with the sinking feeling she always got when he was trying to force her life to conform to his expectations.
"Tamaki, what did you do?" She wouldn't yell. Not yet. Not until she knew just how bad it was.
"Noth-thing," he said while poking his index fingers against each other. "You said you'd move in with me after you passed the bar so I got us an apartment?" His voice rose, turning his statement into a question.
Her eyes narrowed, "I said I'd think about it after passing the bar. The whole bar exam. I still have the second half to go." She closed her eyes, perhaps it would be okay. "Just where is this apartment?"
"Suoh Towers," he mumbled as if the most high-rent building in one of the world's most high-rent cities was of barely any consequence.
"Tamaki! You know I can't afford half the rent on a place like that!" she yelped. He was doing it again, letting his visions of happy-ever-after sweep her objections aside like a tidal wave. He always did this – plowed ahead making arrangements without talking to her.
"But you don't have to," he said bouncing up and down like a puppy. "That's the best part! Dad made me head of the new event planning division I proposed and the apartment is part of my benefits."
"That's the same thing as you paying for it," she ground out. Why didn't the wealthy ever understand how good it felt to make your own way in the world? How necessary it was to your sense of self-worth? The all-too-easy way he dealt with what to her were unobtainable luxuries pressed down on her with suffocating weight. "You are always going and deciding things like this on your own. What were you thinking?"
His expression went hard, almost unreadable. "I was thinking I could share a place with my fiancée who still won't set a date after two years!"
This old argument. She couldn't quite keep the exasperation out of her voice. "I told you. We can get married after I'm a fully qualified lawyer."
"Really, are you sure? Because first it was finishing college, then the bar, now the internship - what will it be next? I've accepted that you aren't ready, but why are you kicking up a fuss about moving in together? It's what normal couples do!"
"Normal couples don't live in Suoh Towers!"
"Haruhi, you know I'd live in a place like this if I could but our security won't allow it," he said patronizingly, like talking to a child. "If it makes you feel better you can pay me rent."
"Like I wouldn't find you spending it on me or squirreling it away in some bank account." She knew he would, he was always undermining her attempts at self-sufficiency. "You never take what I want into consideration."
"ALL I DO IS TAKE YOUR WANTS INTO CONSIDERATION!" Tamaki grabbed her by her arms. He looked like he wanted to shake her, but instead he dropped his hands and ran them through his hair. "God, Haruhi, why is everything so difficult with you. I'm sorry I'm rich. I'm sorry that I actually like the work I'm doing and won't walk away from my family to live in some hovel. I thought I was compromising by getting the apartment and not asking you to move into the mansion but obviously I didn't take your obsessive need to do everything on your own into account."
"Well, I'm sorry that you find it so God damn difficult to be with me. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would leap at the chance to live off you and do nothing more than be an accessory on your arm for the rest of their lives."
"If that's what you think I want then maybe I should go find one."
"If all you think I want is a sugar daddy to take care of me than maybe you should."
They stood facing each other, fear and stubbornness refusing to let her take the words back. Tamaki turned and barely paused to slip his shoes on before exiting. The door swung behind him with a solid, final, bang.
Haruhi sank to her knees. What the hell had she done? All she ever wanted from him was his love, why did things have to become so complicated? Why couldn't he come without all the strings of family, and money, and power? Why could they never just be a man and a woman who loved each other?
She pulled off her engagement ring and sat it on the table next to the shiny key that opened the door to a cage. Lying down, she pulled one of the floor pillows to her chest and curled up in a ball. Tears rolled down her face as she looked at the future symbolized by the two objects before her. It was all or nothing, she couldn't have him without the things that came with him. Hours passed until she fell into a fitful sleep, still torn between love and independence.
%%%
A knock on the door woke her up. Outside, she could hear torrential rain cascading against the windows. She chocked back a sob as she realized that tonight might be the first in years that she'd have to face the thunder alone. Heading towards the door, she wiped away the remains of dried tears from her cheek to avoid unwanted questions.
"Dad, did you forget your key again?" she asked, yanking open the door without checking. Tamaki stood on her doorstep, wet hair plastered to his head and streaming rivulets down the back of his unbuttoned trench coat. Haruhi stepped back and he walked inside just enough to shut the door behind him before dropping to his knees and grabbing her to him. His face was like a block of ice against her abdomen and soon her jeans were as wet as the front of his shirt.
"Haruhi, please," he pleaded with a voice barely above a whisper. "I love you and I love that you don't look at me and see only my family. I never want to make you feel like being with me makes you somehow less than the amazing woman you are. I can't change the family I was born into, I can't be a simple salary man or graduate student, but I also can't live without you any longer.
I know you don't want to get married, yet. But please – I can't take this anymore. With my promotion and you're internship we're both going to be so busy and a night here or there just isn't enough. I want to wake up with you in the morning, fight over what show to watch on TV, come home at the end of my day and know you'll be waiting for me or have you come home to find me waiting for you.
Please, Haruhi, please say you'll live with me. I'll do whatever you need me to do so it doesn't feel like you are taking something from me." His voice caught as he begged her to not throw away everything they had and everything they could be.
A ragged sob tore from her throat and she leaned over to wrap his head in her arms and cover it with her body. In the end, the decision was the simplest one to make. "Tamaki, I'm sorry. I never meant to make you think I felt that way being with you. I couldn't be who I am without you. If I can't have you without having your money then I guess I'll just have to learn to live with it."
Tamaki squeezed her tight and looked up at her hopefully. "It doesn't have to be Suoh Towers, I'm sure I can find a cheaper place somewhere that security would be okay with."
She placed two fingers against his lips. "Suoh Towers is fine. But – I get to pay for the food, and it won't be fancy, rich stuff either."
He smiled that beautiful smile. The one which still made her stomach flip and heart flutter like she was fifteen again. "I'll eat oni-giri every night if it means being with you." He stood then to embrace her and apologized when she shivered as her top was instantly soaked through.
"C'mon why don't we get out of these wet things and I'll throw them in the dryer." She grabbed his hand tight and headed back towards the bedroom, but not before grabbing her ring to slip it firmly back on her finger.
~oOoOo~
Haruhi gave him a quick hug and moved to reach again for her file. It wouldn't hurt to go over it once more while she waited for the movie to end. Before she could move more than a centimeter, he turned and pulled her into his arms so she landed against his chest. "Don't run away, can't a man cuddle with his wife?" He kissed her head and anchored her firmly to his side.
~oOoOo~
It would not be dignified for a junior member of the firm to leap into the air and punch at the sky, even when her first significant case as lead chair resulted in a declaration of not-guilty. She accepted grateful thanks from her client and shot a smug smile at the incompetent DA. Her client had been absolutely guilty. Had the idiot opposing counsel given her a reasonable plea deal she would have taken it, but the horrid little weasel had over-reached and chosen to go to trial on charges he couldn't, in the end, prove.
Her steps faltered as she neared the courtroom exit, a familiar yet unexpected figure had taken a seat in the back row to the left of the door.
"Congratulations on your victory, counselor," he drawled coming to his feet.
"Kyoya, what brings you here?" She smiled, "Aren't you supposed to be in Thailand this week?"
"Malaysia, and I finished early."
"Still, we're pretty far from Ootori Group headquarters."
"Your client works for one of our subsidiaries; I came to observe the outcome."
Her face fell and the joy she'd felt at her victory turned sour in her stomach. "Do I have you to thank for getting the case?"
"Settle down, Haruhi. Your firm is one of many we recommend to our employees if they need assistance. I didn't even know about the case or your involvement until it crossed my desk this morning as 'news to be aware of.' I assure you the partners assigned you this case entirely on your own considerable merits."
She looked at him sheepishly, ashamed to have jumped to an unwarranted conclusion. "Sorry, force of habit."
"I'm a bit too busy to meddle in your life as much as I used to." He favored her with one of his rare, sincere smiles, a bare tug at the edges of his mouth. "Since I'm here, do you have time for a cup of tea or coffee before you head back? You can tell me all about how you plotted your victory."
Talking about a case with Kyoya was almost as enjoyable as talking with Mori. Both were able to ask insightful questions and knew enough about the law to appreciate the arguments and legal trickeries she used. When they'd finished exhausting the topic of how she beat the pants off the weasel, she settled back in her chair and went for cross-examination, "So tell me, why did you really show up in the courtroom?"
He nodded and took a sip of his tea, conceding her point. "I thought you might want a friend to celebrate your first big win with."
She didn't believe him for a minute, but having someone to crow about the victory did make it sweeter. "I guess I did, thank you Kyoya."
"My pleasure." He set his tea down gently in front of him. The light glinted off his glasses, hiding his eyes. "So, is it enough?"
"Excuse me?"
"Your victory today, is it finally enough for you to believe that what you've achieved is on your own efforts and not because of the Suoh name?"
She gave a resigned sigh; she should have known Kyoya had more than one reason for seeking her out. "Butt out, sempai. I don't see what business it is of yours."
He shrugged. "You're right. I only have to deal with the soggy mess that is Tamaki when he's slightly drunk and convinced you never mean to marry him at all. There's a lake starting to form in the middle of my living room."
Haruhi looked at him in surprise, "But, he's never said anything. Not for…"
"Not for at least a year? I know, he decided that continuing to pester you might only drive you away." Kyoya leaned forward, pushed his glasses up and fixed her with a gaze that gave no quarter and accepted no excuses. "He may have resigned himself to your stubbornness but you know what drives him more than anything else."
"He's really that bothered by it?"
Kyoya just continued his unrelenting stare.
"I just don't see what difference it would make. We live together and do everything together as it is."
"So you're going with the 'just a piece of paper' argument? You disappoint me counselor. This is Tamaki we're talking about – old-fashionedly romantic, pure-hearted, hopelessly naïve Tamaki. Do you really think he's happy not being married to the woman he loves?"
"It is just a piece of paper. Why does our relationship need to be defined according to others' expectations?"
"Because in the circles we run in, others' expectations have weight. You've been on the fringes of this world long enough to know that." Kyoya sighed and shook his head. "He won't pressure you; nothing will keep you from continuing on this path. But what of the future? Do you plan to deprive him of an heir? Force him to have children that bear the stigma of illegitimacy he did? You've never bowed to the opinions of others, but you aren't the type to be that selfishly cruel."
Haruhi had nothing to say in response. She'd thought they were content with the negotiated peace between them, but it had been an illusion. Kyoya's words drove home that more than anything else, Tamaki craved and valued family.
His features softened as the distress showed on her face. "Haruhi, is it finally enough? If not, when will it be? You could win a hundred cases, make partner, even start your own firm but once you marry him you will never be free of the doubts that people look at you and only see a Suoh."
Haruhi stared at her hands as they twisted together on the table in front of her. He'd given voice to her secret fear, that no matter how accomplished she became it would never outweigh the Suoh name and the way people would treat her because of that. That she would never be sure that what she had was due to her own abilities and hard-work.
Kyoya grabbed the bill, refusing to let her pay. "Adding that to my debt, sempai?" Her voice was hollow and devoid of humor.
He smiled, "A gift, this time. Please think about what I said and put him out of his misery one way or the other. I don't relish having to pick up the pieces if you decide you can't marry him, but in the long run it would be kinder than letting his dreams die year by year."
"I... I'll think about it. You're right, I need to decide. I'm not sure if I'm ready just yet, but it will be soon."
"Good," he paused for a minute, weighing what he meant to say next carefully. "Just remember, nobody who really matters will think less of you no matter what you decide." With that parting shot, Kyoya went to the register to pay, leaving her to her thoughts.
She thought about it all through the victory celebration her coworkers held and through the private one she and Tamaki had later. It occupied her every waking moment for a week but she couldn't come to a conclusion. Finally, she sought counsel from someone good at narrowing a question down to its most salient points.
"Knowing someone loves us gives us strength," Mori replied. She'd laid out the situation for him while they cooled off from one of their thrice-weekly self-defense training sessions. "But when we really love someone else, it gives us the courage to do what we think we can't."
That night, she sat at their dining table waiting for him to come home. She stared at her engagement ring, twisting it on her finger. It was bigger than she wanted, but smaller than he'd tried to give her. Like everything else in their life, it was a compromise between two people with different backgrounds and viewpoints, but with similar wants and needs.
He'd loved her enough to give her time; did she love him enough to overcome her fears?
The minute he stepped through the door she found it came easily. Life with Tamaki was always something she'd be willing to give up anything for.
"Sit down, Tamaki, I want to tell you something."
~oOoOo~
She snuggled up against him, tracing lazy circles over his heart with her right hand. Her fingers stilled when she thought of how close she'd come to losing this happiness out of pride and self-doubt. Tamaki caught them, bringing them up to his mouth for soft kisses on her fingertips.
"Have I been ignoring you, mon petite chou? I must correct the situation," he said and licked delicately along her palm and up her fingers, slipping them in and out of his mouth one at a time. Ripples of desire trailed down her arm, along her torso, and curled to settle in the parts of her that had only ever belonged to her and him.
"You've been unforgivably negligent," she complained and drew herself up to kneeling, swinging her leg over his hips so she settled directly onto his lap. "Practically criminal."
"I throw myself on the mercy of the court."
He gasped as she went straight for his kill zone with soft nips along his sensitive ear. The sounds of soft murmurs and moans overlay the sound track as each of them competed to bring the other pleasure. After ten years there were few surprises, but somehow that made it all the sweeter.
Haruhi reached down to his waist and a shudder ran through him when she found her target. "Haruhi," he gasped, "We need to move to the bedroom or you need to let me go grab something from there first."
She smiled. Their whole life together he'd had to fight so hard to get her to accept anything from him, now she wanted to return all that love and devotion back to him with a gift only she could give. "No, she said. "You don't."
He reached his hands up to cup her face, searching within her eyes for any sign of hesitation or doubt. "Are you sure?" he asked incredulously.
Her smile broadened and she looped her arms around his neck. "Make a baby with me Tamaki." She laughed against his lips when he devoured hers in response.
"Alright," he agreed when he finally broke off the kiss, "but only if she has your eyes."
A/N part 2: This turned out a bit more dramatic than I had intended, but I always got the feeling that Haruhi would set a slow pace and might need to be hit over the head a couple times. I've also always liked the way Kyoya is a behind-the-scenes cheerleader for their ship and wanted to bring that up to another level.
Jessi Darkfox – I should write a one-shot about Kyoya planning the wedding. In my daydreams he ends up sending the Black Onion Squad to sit on Tamaki and forcibly keep him away from browsing anymore wedding sites.
Thanks also to Ausllybeliever for letting me know I had accidentally uploaded the wrong first chapter, Spirit of a Rose for leaving a review on it anyway, and SomeLittleRev for the lovely comment.