Dean awoke to a loud knocking. His eyes flew open, instantly looking towards the side of the bed where Jo had been curled up against his chest last night. To his disappointment, she was gone. Had it been a dream?
The pounding on the door was incessant. "What?" He called out sleepily.
"Dean-O, we got somethin' big. Put on some pants and get your ass out here." Ash's voice sounded urgent.
Dean dragged himself out of bed and started gathering up his clothes, which were strewn about the room. As he looked around, he noticed a small sticky note taped to the bedside table.
Dean,
I hate to love and leave, but if my mom catches us, we're both dead.
It was signed with a heart, and Dean felt himself smile, pondering the significance of that. He stuck the note in his pocket, and hurried downstairs.
"What's up?" Team Free Will was at a table, gathered around Ash. A bible lay open, along with several other religious texts.
"Lilith is attempting to break another seal." Castiel said somberly.
"Bitch never takes a break." Dean mumbled. "What's the word, Cas?"
"It is the shortened version of my name."
"Dean rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant."
Sam spoke up. "There's a town where people aren't dying."
"And that's bad?"
"Yeah. They're not dying because there's no one there to reap their souls."
"So what, Death's on vacation?"
"A reaper has been kidnapped."
Dean blinked. "By who? Can that even happen?"
"Demons. A reaper has to be slaughtered beneath a full moon to break this particular seal. I tracked them to the mortuary where she is being held captive. However, it is heavily guarded by angel warding sigils. I cannot get in."
"Alright! Come on baby, world ain't gonna save itself." Ash jumped to his feet and started humming "Don't Fear the Reaper."
Dean caught Jo's gaze, and a slight blush crept into her cheeks. He smiled, winking at her discreetly.
The job was two states over. Sam, Dean, and Cas rode in the Impala, while Ellen, Jo, and Ash trailed behind them in a pickup. Bobby would meet them there. There was no telling how many demons would be protecting the Reaper until it was showtime.
"Hey Cas, would you give us a minute alone?" Sam twisted around to look at the angel in the backseat.
"Of course. I do not enjoy this form of transportation anyway. I will meet up with you when you get close." With the rustling of wings, Cas was gone.
Dean looked over at his brother suspiciously. Sam had let him drive, so he assumed that was an improvement on the trust front. "Well?"
"You're not gonna try to kill yourself on this job, right?" Sam was surprisingly blunt.
"Right." Dean didn't feel like giving a lengthy explanation. "I promised Mom I was gonna try. Okay, Sam? I'm trying here."
"Thanks." Sam nodded gratefully.
They met up with Bobby and Cas just outside the mortuary. It looked unassuming enough, not threatening at all. It was hard to believe something sinister was going on inside.
"You sure this is the place?"
"It has angel sigils all over the exterior. This is the place."
"Alright, what's the plan?" Ash seemed eager to jump into action.
"This is where it gets complicated. You gotta be dead or dying to see the reaper." Bobby explained.
Dean resisted to urge to volunteer for that job.
"Well we don't have to see her to save her, do we?" Jo asked, stating the obvious.
"Right. But the thing he's gonna use to kill her with is also invisible to the living. The scythe."
"Woah, hold up. You mean the scythe?" Ash got excited. "That thing is as old as time itself. How'd they get ahold of it?"
"Hell if I know. Demons can be crafty when they got an end goal in mind. You know, the apocalypse?"
"It'd sure be helpful to be able to see those things, but I still don't get what the problem is." Ellen spoke up.
Bobby laughed humorlessly. "Alright, let's just barge in there to save a creature we can't see, from a weapon we can't see. Oh, and keep in mind that the demons will probably be swingin' it at us. It'd be damn helpful to be able to see what we're dodgin'."
"So, one of us has to die?"
"Don't sound so damn excited, boy." Bobby glared at Dean. "We just got through talkin' your sorry ass off the ledge."
Dean cringed. Bobby apparently hadn't gotten the whole, 'let's keep it a secret that Dean is suicidal' memo.
Jo looked at him with sadness in her eyes, but it seemed like the reference went over Ash and Ellen's heads. Dean breathed a sigh of relief.
"What do we do?"
"I will carefully remove your spirits from your bodies."
The team stared at Castiel as if he'd grown a tail.
"Only temporarily." Cas added. "And not all of you. Some of you will need to be corporeal to break the spell binding to Reaper to the ritual."
"Awesome. So, we gonna draw straws, or what?"
Cas shook his head. "Sam has been dead before, even if he does not remember it. His spirit is most powerful anyway, being tainted by the demon blood."
Dean looked at his little brother. "Hell no. I've been dead before too. Like a million times. A million Tuesdays, to be exact. You're not killing my little brother."
"Dean, it's okay." Sam put a hand on Dean's shoulder, looking like he was trying to restrain him from attacking Cas. "You heard him. It'll only be temporary."
"Alright, then I'll go as a ghost too."
Cas hesitated. "Dean, can I talk to you?"
Feeling everyone's eyes on him, he reluctantly agreed. He wandered off with the angel a few feet away, out of earshot.
"After this is over, those who I remove from their bodies will have the choice to return to them, or not. I cannot trust you to make the right choice here."
"Oh." The angel had a point. "Just promise me Sammy will be alright."
"He does not harbor the same actively suicidal thoughts that you do, Dean. He will return to his body."
"Wait, what do you mean, 'actively'? Is he having 'not so actively' suicidal thoughts?" Dean frowned. "What does that even mean?"
Looking like he'd already shared too much, Cas shrugged. "You would have to talk to him about that."
Oh, Dean planned to.
*an hour later*
The team was getting ready to kick ass and save lives. Well, a reaper's life. And in doing so, that would technically kill all the people in the town who were supposed to die. Dean shook his head. Their job was weird, and the line between right and wrong was so often blurred.
"We ready to do this?"
Jo nodded, giving him an encouraging smile. They were outside the mortuary. Everyone except Sam, however, who was laying on the bed of their motel room. He had to keep his body safe while his ghost roamed free. The thought of Sam watching them, but not being able to interact with them, was unnerving.
They stormed inside the mortuary, expecting to see a struggle. But it was eerily quiet. They heard faint noises from down the hall. Silently, they opened the door to the viewing room. On the floor lay a circle of salt. Two men who Dean could only assume were demons, stood just outside it and were chanting some sort of ritualistic babble.
Dean smiled. Showtime.
Sam felt oddly detached as he watched his friends prepare to save the reaper, who they couldn't even see. She lay unconscious inside a circle of salt, a pretty girl with short dark hair. He wondered how the demons were planning on ganking her. They couldn't cross the salt line.
Everything happened so fast.
Ellen started to read an exorcism. The Demons' eyes flashed black and they stopped chanting. One of them laughed but made no move to stop the attempt to send them back to Hell.
"Dean! So good to see you again." A wiry man strolled through a door across the room, and made his way to Dean.
Ellen kept reading the exorcism. They two lower-level demons smoked out, but this one remained. He must be a major league player. Sam thought.
"Am I supposed to know you, fuck face?" Dean spat.
"Dean, Dean, I'm hurt, really! We were so close..." The demon got in Dean's face, grabbing his collar and lifting him up like he was nothing. Ellen, Jo, and Ash tried to rush him, but with a flick of his wrist they were pinned to the wall. "...in hell." He smirked, finishing his sentence.
"Alastair." The color drained from Dean's face.
Alastair. He was the one who had tortured his brother in Hell. The one who had broken him. Sam felt rage grow inside him. He hurtled toward the demon, and was surprised when Alastair lost his grip on Dean and flew against the wall.
"Don't. Touch. My. Brother." Sam growled, hands at the demon's throat.
The surprise of being tackled by a ghost of all things, must have thrown off Alastair's concentration. It gave Ellen enough time to run for the salt circle and break it.
The reaper's eyes flew open and she jolted upright, assessing the situation. In one fluid movement, she was across the room, wrath filling her deep brown eyes. Her hands replaced Sam's at the demon's throat. She choked him, and he smoked out.
The reaper stood in front of him. "Thank you, Sam. Would you like to return to your body, or come with me to the other side?" She tilted her head, her soft gaze such a difference from the unadulterated anger that he had seen only moments before.
"I'd like to get back to my body, if it's all the same to you." Sam considered the alternative for only a moment. The apocalypse was drawing nearer, and his brother needed him more than ever.
Sam felt woozy. His vision began to darken...
"Sam? Sammy, wake up." Dean's worry-filled voice drew Sam from what felt like a deep sleep. He blinked.
"Dee?"
"Yeah, I'm here. Dude, you full on Obi-Wan'd that son of a bitch back there."
Sam smiled at the pride in his brother's voice.
"Yeah. Everyone make it back okay?" For the first time, Sam became aware of his surroundings. They weren't at the motel, where Sam had originally been separated from his body. They were in one of the rooms at the Roadhouse.
"Yeah. You've been out for almost two days, Sammy. You really had me worried."
"Two days?" Sam sat up, ignoring the splitting pain in his head. "I've been dead for two days?"
"Not dead. Unconscious. I don't know the specifics, but Cas said you really 'strained your spirit' or something.
"How are you doing?"
Dean snorted. "You find out you've been asleep for two days and you wanna know how I'm doing?"
Sam nodded.
"I'm alright." He seemed sincere enough, but quickly changed the subject. "So, uh, I've been meaning to ask you something."
"Yeah?"
Dean seemed unsure of how to ask. "When I was talking to Cas about you being the one to go as a ghost or whatever, he said something about choosing you over me because you're not actively suicidal. What does that mean, Sammy?"
Sam groaned. "Ugh, I can't believe we're getting psych evals from an angel. I'm fine."
"That's what I kept saying." Dean said, looking away.
"Really, man. I've had some dark spots. I've thought about ending it more than once. But I'd never do it."
Dean's head shot up, and shock crossed his face. "Really? You...you've thought about killing yourself?"
Sam felt uncomfortable, and he understood why Dean hated that he knew about the cutting. Worrying the only family you had left was not a good thing.
"Well yeah. I mean, I have demon blood in me. I'm one of the things we hunt."
Dean was both surprised and saddened by Sam's honesty. "Sammy, no you're not."
"I am. Cas has even said it before; I'm an abomination."
"Look at me, man. You're not. You're not a monster. You're my pain-in-the-ass little brother."
"Thanks. Seriously dude, you don't have to worry about me. Compared to you, I'm doing awesome."
"Now there's a reliable baseline." Dean muttered.
Sam and Dean walked down the stairs into the bar area of the Roadhouse.
"He lives!" Ash grinned widely and clapped Sam on the back. "Drinks all around!"
Ellen rolled her eyes, but went for the liquor nonetheless.
Jo came up behind Dean, and discreetly smacked his ass, winking at him. She then walked away, swaying her hips ever so slightly.
"Dude, you cannot tap that." Sam had noticed.
Dean shrugged.
"You already did, didn't you?" Sam laughed. "Ellen is gonna kill you." He said quietly.
"Then don't let her find out." Dean grinned and went to follow Jo.
"Hey, baby. What's the hurry? Couldn't wait til tonight when everyone's asleep?"
Jo shut the door behind him. "Sit." She gestured to the bed.
"I love it when you take control like that."
She rolled her eyes. "That's not what this is. You've been avoiding me, and this is the only way I could get you alone to talk to you. Which is sad." She stood in front of him, gently grabbing his arm.
He jerked it away from her. "What's going on?"
"I saw the blood on your sleeve yesterday. You cut again, didn't you?"
Dean felt panic rising as he struggled to find an explanation that wouldn't end in her demanding to see his arms. Seeing Alastair again, along with Sammy being unconscious, condition unknown, Dean had been really stressed and worried. He drank as much as Bobby would let him, but it wasn't enough. He needed something else to take the edge off.
"Uh..."
"It's okay. Please show me?" Jo looked at him with pity in her eyes.
"Don't do that." He mumbled.
"Do what?"
"Look at me like that! Like I'm a dog that's been kicked."
Jo frowned. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."
He sighed. "It's okay." This was just a really sensitive subject for him.
She started to lift his sleeve, but he pulled away.
"Trust me." She looked into his eyes as she drew his sleeve back. Her eyes dropped to the mutilated flesh beneath, and her eyes widened. Her hand flew to her mouth.
"Dean, what the fuck?!" She raised her voice.
He tugged it back in place, covering the cuts. "Keep it down."
"Dean, those are bad. You need stitches. Why the hell would you cut so bad?"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Fine. Don't. But I'm gonna go get my first aid kit. You need help."
Dean groaned and put his head in his hands. He was so stupid.
I guess that's what I do. He thought. Let down the people I love.