Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Stephenie Meyer owns anything and everything relating to Twilight. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended and in order to keep it that way, No reproduction, copying, reposting, downloading, or any kind of redistribution of this story is allowed. This is to cover my arse as much as yours! And finally, the Original characters, plot, names, nicknames, songs, poems—anything I created from my very own brain—are all the property of the author of this fanfic, My-Bella. Unauthorized use of the material is plagiarism so please be kind and don't steal my creations.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Chapter 16 – If You Only Knew

Sunday, June 15th

Bella thought she was dreaming the first few times she heard her name in Edward's voice. It wasn't until he shook her by the shoulder that she realized it was really him. As soon as she saw it was still dark out, she groaned and pulled her pillow over her head. "Go away. Too early."

He snorted and shook her shoulder again. "Get up, Guppy. If you waste any more time in bed, you're gonna miss it."

"Miss what?"

"Just get up and come with me."

She sighed and then tossed her pillow at him while kicking her covers off. "There better be a real reason for waking me before the sun is up."

He seemed to be ignoring her. "Grab a long sleeve shirt or jacket. It's gonna be chilly out."

Looking through her closet, she remembered how warm Edward's plaid shirt had been and she wished she hadn't given it back. Just have to settle for the hoodie I love and Ali would love to burn, she thought as she slipped her arms into her ratty turquoise jacket.

When she finally looked at Edward, she noticed two things … One was that he was wearing the shirt she'd just been thinking about. The second was that he was offering his hand to her.

"Do friends hold hands?" she asked, fighting the giggles that wanted to come out. "Are we the kind of friends who can hold hands?"

Edward snorted and grabbed her hand. "Come here, Guppy." He pulled her close and then led her upstairs. At first it seemed he was taking her to the viewing deck but then he let her go to grab onto the ladder.

Bella followed him up to the crow's nest and the two sat side by side with their legs crossed in front of them. She waited a little for an explanation of what they were doing but he didn't give one. "Why are we up here?"

"When was the last time you looked out on the ocean and enjoyed the view?" His eyes were that steel blue color this morning as he watched her, waiting for her answer.

She was shocked to find she really had to think about it and even more surprised when she couldn't come up with an answer. "I'm not sure."

Edward didn't seem surprised at all. "That's what I figured. We are up here for you to watch the sun rise over the ocean."

"But this isn't the ocean. This is a bay."

"Focus, Guppy," he said, smiling as he bumped her elbow with his. "I want you to watch the sunrise because I want you to see the water a little differently this morning … See the beauty of the ocean instead of searching for what lies beneath the surface."

He lifted his arm and moved it in a sweeping gesture; Bella barely noticed, too transfixed by the serene smile on his face. "All this as far as we can see, always moving, always giving life to the creatures who call its depths home. Sometimes it's as smooth as glass and sometimes it's so choppy the waves could damage the boats on the water.

"And always colorful. Right now, it's this grayish color but in a minute or two the sun will start rising and the water will take on an orange glow. Then once the sun is actually up, it'll look blue from here and blue-green from the deck. Anyone under the surface will see it as being a greenish color. It's all about angles and reflections, like with how a camera captures photos."

She forced her eyes to leave his face and focus on the water, to try to merge the view he'd just painted for her with the one she could see. Unfortunately, the harder she tried to look at the big picture, the more her eyes kept darting back to check the water around the boat.

"When was the last time you actually enjoyed being out on the water?" he asked.

It only took a few seconds for her to come up with an answer. "A year ago when I went with my uncle and sister to New Zealand. We stayed close to the shore, though. We just snorkeled."

"I didn't ask about being in the water. I asked about when you were on it."

Before was her immediate thought; somehow she pushed past her anxiety to figure out exactly when. "Um … It's been about ten years … Since we anchored off of Block Island in Rhode Island. There was a school of bottlenose dolphins that stayed near our boat the whole week, even when we went swimming. I remember the water being this amazing shade of blue …" She smiled, thinking of how she'd annoyed her parents for weeks after the trip and of how happy she'd been when they'd finally relented. "I begged for weeks to have my room painted that exact shade of blue."

Edward leaned back on his hands and studied her for a moment. "You got your way."

"Yeah, I did," she answered with a nod while still smiling. "My dad and I painted it together."

"If I had begged Esme like that, she would have painted me blue," he joked.

"She wouldn't. She'd threaten to do it, sure. But I think she'd end up painting your room too. She'd surprise you, though … make sure you weren't expecting it."

He laughed. "For having only been here a couple weeks, you've got my mom pegged." He quickly sat up straight and pointed toward the water. "Look! See how it's orange where the sun's hitting the water?"

This far out, the mountain ridges that curved around the bay seemed like small shadows peeking out of the water. The sun was barely above them and all around it was orange, just like Edward had described. But he was wrong about the color on the water.

"I agree it's orange around the sun, but the surface of the water looks more like a light yellow to me," she told him.

He snorted. "What is it with girls having to be so exact with colors?"

"Why do guys have to lump various shades into a single color?"

"Because it's quicker and easier," he answered with a grin. "So, Guppy … How's the ocean looking to you this morning?"

She smiled as she answered with a single word, "Lovely." She leaned over and placed a quick kiss against his stubble-covered jaw. "Thanks, Edward."

His expression was this great mix of pleased and shocked that made her giggle.

"Don't get excited," she told him. "It was just a show of thanks to my friend. There's nothing improper about appreciation."

He was still grinning when he shook his head at her and looked away. "Guppy, shut up and enjoy the ocean."

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Masen reached behind him and snagged the bag he'd brought up before waking Bella. He pulled out the two thermos bottles he'd put inside and passed one to her. He also gave her one of the fruit and nut granola bars he'd packed since he'd noticed it was her favorite snack.

"It's not a four-star breakfast but it'll tide us over for a while," he said as he ripped open his own granola bar.

Bella was busy staring into her thermos. "This is chocolate milk."

"So?"

"So we emptied the container last night. How did you get this?"

Masen grinned, picturing the lecture he was in for later today. "Not a lot of people know this about him, but Whit has a sweet tooth. He always keeps a bag of Hershey kisses in his room. I managed to pilfer a big handful while he was busy snoring and dreaming."

She giggled. "You melted down his chocolate stash. You are gonna be in so much trouble."

"Won't be the first time," he said with a shrug. "Besides, I owed you chocolate milk. And I did leave him enough until we get to the house tomorrow."

She lifted her head and gave him a true, genuine smile. "Thank you. This is really nice." She continued to smile the entire time they ate their breakfast together.

As much as he didn't want to do anything that would make her smile go away, he had no choice. He took solace in the fact that everything he was doing would eventually make it easier for her to smile this way anytime she was on the water. Reaching into his bag again, he pulled out two sets of binoculars.

Bella eyed them warily. "What are those for?"

"How about I ask the questions this time?" he replied, smiling in hopes it would relax her a little. "What do you know about Great Whites?"

"They're the most dangerous of a dangerous species. Man-eaters."

"Yes, people have died from being bitten, but they weren't bitten on purpose. They were mistaken for seals. And over seventy percent of victims of attacks survive because the sharks realize they aren't seals and leave the area."

"That still leaves thirty percent."

"It does," he agreed, taking in her stiff posture, curled fists, and pinched face. He was beginning to suspect whoever it was in her life that had the brush with a shark had been in that thirty percent. He really hoped he was wrong about that—Bella didn't deserve that kind of loss and pain in her life.

He set the binoculars down in his lap and then reached for her hand. After uncurling her fingers, he wrapped them around his own hand. "If Lee can hold your hand, I damn sure can," he said in response to the guarded look on her face.

"The thirty percent for Great Whites is due to bite location only," he explained. "The person wasn't targeted by the shark—they were mistaken for a seal. I know that doesn't give you comfort right now. And it didn't give me any when Whit was hurt. I was angry and I wanted that shark found and killed. I wanted it to suffer the way Whit had." He had been watching her the entire time and he'd seen her go from guarded, to surprised, to complete disbelief.

He squeezed her hand as he continued, "Sounds weird to hear me say that after listening to me go on for weeks about how beautiful they are and how they're not monsters. But back then I was just a guy who had nearly lost his best friend. Looking back on it, I know my anger was fueled by fear and ignorance."

Bella rolled her eyes and turned her head to look out on the water. But just as quickly she turned it back—she even tried to cover it up by freeing her hand and pretending she was thirsty for her chocolate milk.

Instead of calling her out on it, he continued sharing his past with her. "It wasn't until we'd spent months at the Farallon Islands that I stopped being angry and started trying to help. All of the people we met in San Francisco, they all said the same thing. Shark attacks on humans are mistakes."

She bristled at the work "mistakes" and he quickly kept going, hoping it would keep her anger from tuning him out.

"A shark doesn't have the ability to distinguish human legs over the sides of a surfboard from seal flippers extended from a seal's body. They don't rely on eyesight to find prey. They use electroreceptors. Do you know what those are?"

"I know rays have those and use them to help guide them through the water and find food."

"That's right. The electroreceptors in Great Whites are called Ampullae of Lorenzini after Stefano Lorenzini, an Italian physician and marine researcher back in the late 1600s. He was big into studying animal anatomy and physiology. His claim to fame was his discovery that sharks and rays have a network of jelly-filled pores in the front of their heads that allow them to detect small amounts of electricity given off by the creatures around them. The sharks use their system to find and capture prey. From what we've been able to tell so far, the signal given off by a human in the water is indistinguishable from the one given off by a seal.

"That's why it's so vital that we learn everything we can about sharks. Knowledge is the key to keeping us safe from them and them from us. By educating the public on shark behaviors and locations, we can reduce mistaken bites and we can keep the sharks safe from revenge killings."

She sighed as she pulled her legs under her hooded jacket and wrapped her arms around them—a gesture of unease and protection if he'd ever seen one. She wasn't buying into attacks being mistakes right now but there was still time. As long as she was willing to hear him out and not shut down, there was a chance for change.

"Bella, I know that everything I'm saying right now, none of it is going to change your view of them right this second. My purpose for telling you all of this is to let you know that I was once in your place. I do understand your anger and your fear, I want you to know that it doesn't have to always be this way for you. Let me help and together we can change it for you just the way it changed for me."

He would be lying if he said he hadn't been hoping for some sign of a positive change from her, but the steely look in her brown eyes made it perfectly clear that wasn't going to happen this morning.

"I'm really glad things turned out okay for Whit and for you. But that's you. You say you understand but you really don't because your situation is totally different." Her rough tone and stiff body language were clear signs she was angry but Masen only saw the pain in her eyes.

He tried once more to show her that he could relate to what she was feeling and also that she could change it. "Whether your experience puts you in the seventy percent or the thirty percent, it's still an experience that's changed your life permanently. I know I got lucky that I channeled my stuff into this company. I know I could have gone the other way and never set foot in the water again, never surfed again. But the thing is that I didn't. I made a choice not to let this one thing rule me. So did Whit and Lee. And so can you, Bella. I know you can."

Masen had expected her to argue more but she surprised him by reaching over for a pair of the binoculars. After glaring at them for a while, she asked, "Where do I point these?"

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Bella had planned on documenting what she'd seen this morning in her journal but instead she kept focusing on the guys as they got ready to go into the water. Edward and Whit were erecting the shark cage while Gopher was bolting down the base of the winch that would raise and lower the cage. Lee was sitting just a few feet away from her, prepping the still and video cameras.

It was unbelievable to her that Edward and Whit would trust their lives to metal bars bolted together, especially after what she'd seen this morning. And Gopher and Lee were not only allowing them to do it, they were helping.

Be reasonable, Bella, she scolded herself. And then she recited some of the things Edward had told her about the cage and their plan … Cages are built to withstand ramming from large sharks. Most sharks will swim near the cage but not actually touch it. The guys were only going to take photos and video. They were not going to get in or out of the cage without the water around them being clear of sharks.

None of that was really helping though. She wondered if it would help if she hadn't seen that initial near-miss yesterday and the definite catch this morning. Seeing those massive sharks come completely out of the water … And that one this morning … the way its mouth had seemed to get impossibly wide, revealing rows of huge, razor sharp teeth … The seal had never stood a chance. She wasn't sure if it had even had time to realize there was a shark there before its life was over. It had been so quick and … and brutal.

She shivered and clenched her eyes shut, trying to get rid of the image in her head even as she tried to tell herself a seal was different from a human. She probably would have succeeded if she hadn't remembered something else Edward had told her today … Human and seal electroreceptor signals were indistinguishable to sharks.

"I need another set of hands," Edward yelled out, immediately capturing Bella's full attention.

"Can't let this go or it'll fall back and squash you guys," Gopher told him, his voice strained from the physical demands of his work.

Bella expected Lee to answer next but she didn't—a quick glance around showed she wasn't on deck any longer.

"Guppy, get over here," Edward demanded.

She dropped her journal and pen and scrambled to her feet as fast as she could. "Shouldn't I get Lee?"

"If we wait it could slip and then we'd have to struggle to align it all over again." His arms were straining and his chest had turned red up near his neck.

"Fuck that," Whit said with a grunt. He looked just as harassed, right down to his sweat soaked hair. "If we lose the alignment, I'm done for the day."

"What can I do?" she asked, kneeling down beside them.

"Take the socket wrench from my back pocket," Edward instructed. "Put it over the bolt right between our hands. As soon as you have it seated all the way, start pulling the end of the wrench towards you to tighten it up. Keep doing it until you absolutely can't pull anymore."

"And still give it one more try," Whit added.

The idea of being responsible for a section of the cage terrified her and caused her hands to shake so badly that she dropped the wrench and just barely missed Edward's knee. What if I mess up the bolt and a shark hits it and then it breaks and then Edward gets hurt?

"It's okay." From his calm tone, it seemed like he knew exactly what she was thinking. "You're just going to tighten it enough that I can let go. After that, I'll tighten it down to where it can't come loose. Trust me."

She gave a shaky nod as she worked to align the grooves inside the wrench with those on the bolt.

"Told you we should have practiced putting this thing together," Whit said with a chuckle, somehow finding something funny about their predicament.

Edward laughed too. "Yeah like you told me we needed to workout but then found every excuse possible not to do it."

"We worked out," Whit argued. "We surfed."

Edward grunted and then laughed again. "I don't know about you, but the surfing's not paying off for me at the moment."

"Guppy, lie to me if you have to. Tell me I'm buff," Whit pleaded, smiling and winking at her. And then he gave her a fake scowl. "Wait! I'm mad at you."

"For what?" she asked, so shocked by his declaration that the wrench slipped out of her hand and hit the deck. She quickly picked it up and placed it over the bolt again.

"You had chocolate milk this morning and I have missing chocolate," Whit told her. "You pilfered my stash, Guppy. Not cool."

"Whit, don't," Edward ordered.

"Bro, I get that she's the new fish but this is my chocolate we're talking about." He looked and sounded so upset about his chocolate that Bella was ready to apologize even though she was innocent.

"She didn't take it. I took it," Edward confessed. "If anything, you should be thanking me for leaving you any at all."

"You stole my chocolate, made chocolate milk with it, and didn't give me any. Bro, you suck." Since Whit was smiling, Bella was pretty sure he was only messing with Edward.

Edward didn't seem to care one way or the other since his next comment had nothing to do with missing chocolate. "Guppy, you're doing great. You're torqueing the wrench like a pro. I'd never believe this is your first time putting a shark cage together. In fact, we might have to vote you M-V-P of today's activities."

His teasing had her smiling and relaxing enough to tease back. "Be nice or I'll start going the other way with this wrench and undo it."

"Look at this, Whit. Give the woman a compliment and she threatens me. What am I gonna do with her?"

Whit's laugh was an absolute cackle. "What indeed!"

Bella didn't miss the look that passed between the two guys or the quick glance Whit gave her. Once again, she had that strange certainty that he knew something big she didn't but should. But now was really not the time for thinking about that—she had to finish tightening this bolt for them.

It wasn't long before she had done all she could. "That's it. That's all I can pull," she said even as she struggled to give it one more tug.

Edward looked over at Whit. "Ready?"

"Let go one hand at a time just in case."

As soon as Edward had freed one hand, he nudged Bella's aside and took control of the wrench's handle. He gave it three quick pulls and then took his other hand off the section of cage he'd been holding. Using his newly freed hand to brace himself against the deck floor, he leaned over the wrench, pulling the handle as hard as he could to tighten down the bolt. She was amazed at the way his arm flexed from shoulder to wrist with each torque of the wrench.

Finally, he let go of the wrench and twisted around to sit on the deck. "Damn that was harder than I remember."

Whit winced as he pulled himself up into a sitting position; he had been lying on his side and bracing the cage from below. "You and me both, bro. Why the hell did we get one we have to put together?"

"Space constrictions," Edward answered.

"I say we leave it put together from now on and pack it on the supply ship."

"Then we won't have it around if we decide to stop off along our travel route."

"Don't talk sense to me," Whit demanded while getting to his feet. "Just lie so my muscles think they won't have to suffer abuse like that again."

Edward snorted and then asked, "Going for water?"

"Yep."

"Bring me some back?"

"Yep."

"Should I tell you now or later that we still have another side to this cage?"

"Never." Whit went inside without saying anything else so Bella wasn't sure if he had been joking or not.

"Later it is," Edward said with a sigh. He brushed his wet hair away from his sweaty forehead and smiled at Bella. "Thanks for the hand, Guppy."

"Should we help Gopher now?" Bella asked, remembering that he had also been struggling with his assignment.

Edward's lips curved and she wasn't sure if he was smiling or smirking. "Guess we had you pretty distracted. You completely missed Lee helping him finish and then the two of them heading inside."

"Guess so."

"Are you looking forward to having the afternoon off? Esme always cooks to welcome us home so you won't have dinner duty either."

Bella shrugged, still fighting with herself on whether or not she would take the time off. "I owe my sister an email and since we'll be docked tomorrow I want to handwrite a letter to mail too."

He looked at her oddly. "You know it'll take weeks to get to her."

"Oh she doesn't care what's in the letter. Well, she does a little. But she's really into stamps so it's more about the envelope than the letter."

"So wait … You take the time to handwrite a letter, buy stamps, and mail it to her, knowing she is all about the stamps?" he asked, using his fingers to tick off the items.

Before she could answer, he smiled and said, "You're a pretty cool big sister, Guppy."

"You kinda sound impressed," Bella replied, wishing she could read his expression and know for sure.

"Masen, catch!" Lee called out. He barely had time to turn his head her way before she launched a water bottle at him. He caught it one handed and Lee applauded him along with Gopher and Whit.

Bella waited until he paused in draining his water to ask, "Is it okay if I head in and start my time off?"

"Yeah, go ahead. And thanks again for helping with the cage."

"No problem." She gave what she hoped seemed like a natural smile, grabbed her journal and pen, and then headed inside. She stood behind the door, watching him with the crew and working things out in her head to come to a decision once and for all. Her room would be safe and quiet. But it would only be safe for her. The deck would be hard and probably pretty stressful but it called to her much louder than her room.

Edward had made it clear he didn't feel she was ready to watch them go into the shark cage and had even given her the rest of the day off. But Bella had to watch. She was certain with every single fiber of her being that the only way for him to be safe today was if she didn't let him out of her sight.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

"Easy guys," Masen cautioned as he helped Whit and Gopher get the shark cage over the side of the boat. "Let's not scrape the paint on Galeos please."

"I feel like I should be down in the skiff, grabbing from the bottom," Gopher told him.

"The waves are too choppy for that," Masen replied. "You'd bump against my boat and lose your grip on the cage. That or you'd keep holding on and lose your footing, ending up in the water. I don't want either happening."

Gopher smiled and then loudly shared his response with everyone. "My dream has finally come true! Masen loves me."

"Yeah, well I have a dream too," Masen replied, grinning at his friend. "And in it, something eats you. So maybe I should let you get in the water after all."

While the guys laughed at his joke, Lee made it clear she didn't find it the least bit funny. "Edward Anthony Masen, when I tell your mother what you just said … Apologize and I might let you live."

He wasn't intimidated by her threat at all—okay, maybe just a little. But he had an excellent counter argument for her that would surely get him off the hook. "I didn't say what ate him in my dream. For all you know, it was a tiger or a bear. In fact, it was a big Kodiak bear on dry, dry land."

She continued to glare at him as if she was hoping he would catch fire. "You're an asshat."

Realizing she was honestly upset made him feel about two inches tall. "Lee, you know I didn't really mean that. We were just joking around. I wouldn't let anything happen to him anymore than I'd let something happen to you."

"Well it wasn't funny."

"Noted. It won't happen again. And I'm sorry."

She finally relaxed her stiff posture and pointed past his head. "Don't scratch my boat with that thing."

When the cage finally hit the water, it did so without harming the boat. Not that Masen had ever really doubted it would be any other way. His crew cared about the boat as much as he did.

"Gopher, what's your job while we're in the water?" Masen questioned, checking to make sure he understood his duties fully.

"Once you guys are in the cage, lower you down into the water but not so far that I can't keep the top of the cage in sight. Keep a close watch on approaching sharks and an ear on the radio. If any purposefully hit the cage, pull you guys up. If you call out 'up' on the radio, I pull you guys up. Otherwise, maintain radio silence. In two hours, whether you've seen a shark or not, I pull you up." Gopher lifted his arm and turned it to show Masen the watch on his wrist. "Synchronized my watch with yours already too."

"Where is my watch?"

"Lee's got it until you finish putting on your suit."

"Good. Just stay sharp and focused and we'll all be able to call it a successful day in a couple hours."

Lee came over to help him with his wetsuit and he could tell right away there was something on her mind. He also knew to wait for her to start the conversation.

She finally asked, "Are you sure you were right about not having Guppy on deck?"

It wasn't a question he had expected from her but he had an answer all the same. "She's not in the right head space for it yet. She could barely stand watching through binoculars this morning," he replied, recalling the way her face had paled at the sight of a Great White breaching the water and capturing a seal in its mouth.

"I still think you should have let it be her choice. She might have surprised you and herself and been just fine. And she wouldn't have been alone. She'd be here with Gopher and me."

"We've got time, Lee. There's no need to rush her and risk a setback."

Instead of giving him more of an argument, she gave him a sly smile. "No need to rush her? Or no need to have her on deck without you at her side?"

Whit jumped in and answered for him. "Seventy-thirty split with the rushing being the thirty."

Masen looked crossly at Whit and then turned back to Lee. "No need to rush. Period. End of conversation."

Her smile widened as she leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You're gonna eat those words and I'm gonna enjoy every single bite."

He would have loved to tell her where to stick her prediction but there was a problem … There was a tiny, infinitesimal chance that she was right.

Fifteen minutes later, Masen and Whit were fully suited up with tanks, flippers, goggles, watches, and camera equipment. They both also wore special full face masks that allowed them to communicate with Gopher by radio.

The guys would have to enter the water from the platform at the back of the boat and then swim to the side to enter the cage. Masen looked up at Lee, waiting for her to signal the coast was clear for them to enter the water. While Masen was fairly confident the Great Whites wouldn't harm them, "fairly" wasn't good enough—not when his best friend's life could be at risk.

They finally got a thumbs-up and Masen was the first to drop beneath the surface, going from bright blue sky to greenish-blue depths. He loved the sensation diving gave him, that feeling of leaving one world for another—it had never been truer than it was now. While these murky depths were home to all kinds of marine life, they belonged to the Great Whites.

Once Whit and Masen were in with the trap door on top locked, Gopher slowly lowered the cage. The water had calmed some in the past half hour but even with the relative stillness, visibility was low from the murky quality of the water. Masen was surprised by their small area of sight since the view down into the water had been pretty clear from the crow's nest this morning. At current levels, they wouldn't see a shark until it was within ten feet of the cage.

Then again, Masen thought as he started taking pictures with the still camera. Ten feet will make for some amazing photos if any do get curious enough to check us out. Hell, ten feet is the minimum length of Great Whites in this area so we might not even get a full frame shot today. Just so long as we see at least one, I'll be happy.

He smiled at his next thought. Here fishy, fishy, fishy.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Gopher and Edward weren't the only ones who had synchronized their watches. Bella's matched theirs to the exact second, though it would be hard to read the time on it with the way she was twisting it around her wrist.

"Here fishy, fishy, fishy," Gopher called out.

Bella bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from snapping at him. Her anxiety was off the charts, to the point where she hadn't even said a word about him straddling the side of the boat. If it were any other time, she'd be pleading with him to get down before something bad happened. But right now, her sole focus was on keeping her eyes on Edward to keep him safe.

She fully realized there was no way simply watching over him would protect him from a fifteen-foot long, two-thousand pound shark. It would take forty of those fifty pound dumbbells athletes lifted in gyms to reach that weight and the stare of a hundred plus pound woman was nothing in comparison.

But sometimes it didn't matter what the head knew. Sometimes the heart was in charge. Sometimes people just knew things. And Bella knew she couldn't leave that spot until Edward was back on the boat. Until she could see with her own eyes that he was safe and unharmed, she wasn't going to let anyone send her away.

"It's good you came back out." Lee was standing right beside her, both of them slightly leaning over the side of the boat to keep watch on the top of the cage.

Bella barely heard her over all the worries shouting to be heard in her head. "The water looked clearer from up top."

"I wonder how murky it is for them being in it. I bet they can't see too far in front of them. Maybe fifteen or twenty feet if they're lucky."

"What's a safe distance?"

Lee shrugged. "We've never been in these waters before. The Great Whites we saw in the Farallon Islands acted completely different from the ones we've seen here so far."

"Different how?" She hoped her voice hadn't been as high-pitched out loud as it had been in her head.

"They don't breach at Farallon. Not like they do here. We don't know if it's because of the terrain or the prey, but they're just different. That's one of the things we want to try to find out."

While Bella struggled to absorb the new information, Lee continued talking. "We got really lucky in San Francisco and we were able to work with Dr. Wayne. He's brilliant and he's trying to develop ways for Great Whites to be tracked long term instead of just the twenty-four to seventy-two hours most researchers do now. If we can discover how these sharks spend their lives and where and when they breed, then we'll be in a better position to help keep them from extinction.

"But that's not why I brought him up. Dr. Wayne has been working out there for a long time and he's agreed to share his Farallon Islands data with us so we can compare it to our Western Cape data at the end of the summer."

Bella didn't care about data or about understanding sharks. She cared about the people in the water—her friends. You care more for him, her mind pointed out. You would take it hard if Whit was hurt but you would be devastated if it was Edward. Why? How can you care that much for him when you don't really know him?

Because I do, she answered herself. I know he loves his family fiercely. He takes his job seriously and has a real passion for it. He's extremely smart when it comes to his work but not nearly as much about people. But he also knows it and wants to do better at it. And I know he cares about me. It doesn't matter if it's different. It just matters.

"Ladies, we have a shadow," Gopher announced. "Looks like a pretty nice size visitor from this angle."

Bella was positive her heart stopped completely for a moment before taking off at top speed—and she hadn't even spotted the shadow yet! Calm down … Calm down … Calm down, she chanted in her head. She attempted to convince herself everything was okay since she was still watching over him and he was still fine.

"Look at the size of her." The awe in Lee's voice was unmistakable. "I wonder what she looks like beneath the surface."

"Guppy, do you know why they assume it's a chick shark?" Gopher asked.

Lee answered immediately. "Because we assume they're all females unless we can confirm it's a male since the majority of the sharks researchers have tagged over the years have been female."

"Babe, you didn't give her time to guess."

"I don't think she cares about guessing right now, Em."

They must have been able to see the anxiety she was feeling because both of them put their hands on her back. Gopher leaned down and said, "They're safe, little fish. No worries."

"Worrying is natural," Lee told her. "Just don't let the worry stress you out. Masen and Whit both know what they're doing. And Masen will be the first to alert us if there's any trouble at all."

She found that hard to believe and said as much. "I think you meant Whit."

Lee chuckled. "No, I meant Masen. He has a sixth sense about sharks and he hasn't been wrong yet." She quickly wracked her knuckles against the side of the boat. "Knock on wood."

Bella would knock on wood, steel, plastic, glass … Whatever might have a chance of protecting Edward and Whit was worth it in her view.

"The guy comes off as shark-happy but he's actually shark-smart," Gopher stated. "That's why I don't mind him making me go over everything two and three times. Whatever keeps us safe is worth the hassle."

"You might want to tell him that some time," Lee commented. "I bet he'd take you a lot more seriously if you did."

"And let him know he's right? Are you crazy?" Gopher asked before snorting. "Besides, he takes me seriously on the things that matter most to me."

The sound of their conversation was a lot like having the television on in the background while doing homework—you could guess the overall gist of what was going on but not pick out any particulars. Not when you were deeply focused on something else the way Bella was with the dark shadow moving parallel to the boat and just a very short distance away from the cage.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Working with Gopher to get his near empty tank off, Masen thought of how quickly the two hours had seemed to fly by. At least it hadn't been for nothing—they'd had three large sharks swim over to check out the cage. None had come close enough to brush against it but one had been so near Masen could have easily reached out and touched her snout. She'd had a lot of scarring on her head and a badly healed gash that appeared to be from a hook, but she'd still been beautiful in his eyes.

"You look mighty happy," Lee joked, smiling as she passed by carrying Whit's tank.

"You've gotta come down next time, Lee," he said excitedly. "It's like nothing we've ever done before. It's amazing."

"Wait until you're out of your wetsuit to have your shark-gasm," Whit teased, getting laughs from Gopher and Masen.

"Speaking from experience?" Masen questioned, giving his best friend his best shitty grin.

"No. But I did nearly shit my pants when that second shark suddenly appeared on my side of the cage. One second there's only water and the next this big ass shark is swimming out of the murkiness."

Gopher chuckled. "Scared ya, huh?"

"Nah, just gave my heart a jump-start."

"Free at last," Gopher joked after finally getting the strap on Masen's tank to loosen enough to get it off his shoulder.

"Thanks, Gopher."

The three men worked together to get the cage onto the boat and then secured it against the far wall of the deck. There was no point in taking it apart now since they were going to use it again day after tomorrow. Their next task was to disassemble the winch, leaving only the base in place. Masen didn't trust leaving the pieces on deck even for a single day so he had Gopher return them to their crate stored in the engine room.

Now that the work was done, Masen quickly stripped his suit down to his waist and then picked his camera up from the deck. He couldn't wait to get it out of the waterproof case and pop the memory card into his laptop to review the photos he'd taken. He hoped the green cast of the murky water hadn't distorted the coloring of the sharks too much.

"Oh, no you don't," Lee scolded as she snatched the camera out of his hands. "Shower away the sweat and bay water first."

"Come on, Lee," he whined. "I can shower later."

"No way, Mase. Later won't happen, we'll get to the house and Esme will smell you, and then dinner will be late because we'll all be waiting on you to shower."

"She's right," Whit told him. "So go now before I decide I want first shower just to make you wait even longer."

Masen shook his head despite already having decided to listen to them. "You two suck."

"We love you too," Lee said, patting his cheek. "Now go shower."

His plan to listen to them and quickly shower was derailed as soon as he turned around and saw Bella standing in the corner near the ladder. She had been out here while he was in the water—he knew from the shine in her eyes and the twisting of the watch on her wrist. He had to bite down on the inside of his lip to keep from blurting out the curses dancing on the tip of his tongue.

"Aren't you proud of her?" Lee asked. "She stayed out here with Gopher and me the entire time you guys were in the water. She even spotted the last shark before Gopher did." From the smile on her face, he knew Lee genuinely believed it was a good thing.

But Lee doesn't see what I do, he thought even as he tried to figure out what to say. If he said he wasn't proud, then he was an asshole. If he said he was, then he was lying. He would have been more than happy to congratulate Bella on her accomplishment had it seemed to him that she really had succeeded. But from what he was seeing right now, she had only stressed herself out and probably set her progress back too.

He decided his only choice was to put the ball in Bella's court. "Think you did a good job, Guppy?"

Her hand clamped down on her watch and her eyes tightened at the corners; it seemed she could see things too and knew he was unhappy. "I did what I needed to."

Silence followed her comment and Masen would have sworn that the longer no one spoke, the more the air around them felt charged. Lee broke the feeling by walking past him and saying, "I'm just gonna get the cameras out of the cases."

Whit followed right behind her. "I better shower first so I can get us turned around and headed for Gordon's Bay."

Once they were at the door and out of Bella's line of sight, Lee gave Masen the hand sign for "careful".

I'm being careful, he argued in his head. She's the one not being careful. Needed to. What in the hell could she have possibly been thinking? How many ways do I have to tell her to take her time? This is about a better life, not impressing anyone.

He couldn't say any of that out loud, though. At least not so bluntly. He decided the best place to start was with figuring out where her head was at. "Why did you come out here when you weren't ready?"

"I told you, I did what I needed to." Bella was no longer looking at him and he got the sense that she was hoping he would drop the conversation and go inside. She had zero chance of that happening.

"Listen, I get that you feel the need to prove yourself to everyone. I really do. But every time you put up a brave front and force yourself to do something you're not ready for, you only prove that you're not listening to me. I didn't give you the afternoon off to exclude you from anything. I did it because I believed it was the best thing for you."

"I know."

Her head was turned just enough that he could see a patch of skin she'd missed when putting on her sunscreen. He found himself wondering if she felt the sting of the sunburn yet and if she had something to put on it to cool the heat.

And then he realized the silence had been spinning out between them for too long. "Bella, I know it's not easy to be the new person on the ship and that you feel the need to prove yourself, to not let the team down. Maybe you're even worried that if you don't force yourself, you'll end up failing. But I promise you that if you'll just listen and do what I ask of you, you'll get everything you want. You'll be a full-fledged member of MMR, you'll be able to deal with sharks, and you'll get to enjoy the water again. All you need to do is trust me to lead you in the right direction."

He had hoped she would give some sign that she understood what he was saying, or that she'd at least look at him. Instead she continued to stare at her bare feet.

He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake an answer out of her as much as he wanted to put his arms around her and promise her that everything was going to be okay.

That's not true, he admitted. You want to hold her a hell of a lot more than you want to lecture her.

He should be inside right now looking at the pictures from his camera; he shouldn't have to be out here having another conversation with her about slowing down and taking her time. She was interrupting.

What really pissed him off in that moment was realizing that her feelings were ranking higher than his work. "Look, you've got two choices, Guppy. Listen to what I tell you to do or go home. You let me know which one you want to go with."

He didn't wait for a response this time and his anger was visible as he moved with his head down and his long legs striding as far and as fast as they could.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

"Want any help, Mom?" Masen asked, leaning his body against the counter next to Esme. He figured since she'd cooked for them all, he should at least offer to help with the dishes.

She took her eyes off the suds-covered pan she was washing and favored him with a loving smile. "Kid, I never pass up the chance to have you rinse for me."

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then moved around her to stand at the other half of the sink. "Thanks again for making dinner."

"Just doing my part to support the team."

They washed and rinsed the dishes in harmony and silence, both of them glad to be together no matter what the activity. Even pulling weeds in her garden back home was an alright time as long as she was kneeling right there beside him. She was the only one he ever felt at peace with in the silence. His mind was never quiet with the others, probably because they were often giving him new ideas for things.

Until Bella. Masen shoved that thought away, determined not to let her interrupt his world again. She had done enough of that this afternoon with her deck stunt.

When the dishes were done, Esme invited him to sit with her at the patio table on the balcony. It could seat all six of them and gave the most gorgeous view of the beach and the ocean.

"I know you've been busy, Kid, but have you thought at all about what you'd like to do tomorrow?" she asked.

He hadn't but only because he hadn't wanted to risk being distracted on the water. He quickly weighed what he wanted against what Esme might need in order to give her an answer. "Dinner tomorrow night would be nice. I'll get Lee to ask a local where the best place is for a family sit-down dinner."

"Do you think it will be weird for you with Bella there?"

He shrugged. "Why should it be? It's not like we have to provide her with a reason to go to dinner."

"I'm not saying it should be or that it will be. But we always toast Elizabeth and the natural reaction of someone who doesn't know us is to ask who she is to us."

He pushed against the leg of the chair across from him with his foot, making it slide across the floor a little. "I'm guessing I can't just tell her it's none of her business."

"Ha!" Her cry startled him and his head jerked her way to see what was wrong. "I knew there was something going on," she said, jabbing a finger into his chest.

He shook his head and turned his attention back to pushing the chair with his foot. "Nothing's going on. Why do you think something is going on?"

"How about I start with you, Kid? The last time I was in the same room with you and Bella, you couldn't take your eyes off of her. I would have almost sworn you'd never seen a pair of lips before with how hard you were staring at hers. But tonight you barely even glanced in her direction."

He grunted in response. "Mom, I think it's time you got your eyes checked. Reading all those romance novels has obviously affected your vision."

"What's that phrase Whit uses sometimes … You better check yourself before you wreck yourself? You might really want to consider the wisdom of that, Kid."

He rolled his eyes, acting as though there was no truth to anything she'd said.

Esme was undeterred. "And then there's Bella. She barely touched her food, she hardly spoke at all, and she's been out walking Lizzy for over an hour now."

He scowled and said, "Maybe she should have listened to me instead of doing the opposite of what I said."

"What did you ask of her?"

"I gave her the afternoon off to keep her away while we were in the water. The last thing she needed was to have her first up-close view of a shark happen while we were in the water. That's two triggers too many for her anxiety. And what do I find when I get out of the water? Bella standing on deck and fiddling with that damn watch."

"What did the watch ever do to you?"

Normally Esme's attempts to lighten the mood were welcomed but Masen's mood was too foul tonight. "This isn't funny. She's messing with her progress and interrupting my work."

"Did you ask her why she did it?"

He gave her an exasperated look. "Of course I did, Mom. She said she needed to. What the hell is that?" He repeated it once more, practically spitting the words out, "She needed to."

Esme shrugged. "Maybe she did. Maybe she truly felt the only place she could be right then was on that deck, keeping watch over you."

"That doesn't make any sense," he argued, shaking his head.

"Why not? Are you ever anywhere else but on deck when Lee and Whit get into the water?"

"No but that's different."

"Different how?"

He looked at her again, trying to gauge if she really didn't already know the answer or was just winding him up to lead him to some crazy conclusion of hers. "Because it's my responsibility to watch out for them."

"What if Bella felt it was her responsibility to watch out for you?"

"Why would she? Lee and Gopher were right there and they're infinitely more experienced than her. And honestly, what the hell would she have done if we had needed help? She damn sure wouldn't have gotten in the water."

Esme gave him a sweet smile as she leaned over and ruffled his hair. "Still so much to learn, Kid."

"Meaning?"

"Sometimes the best way to help is just to be vigilant. And when the only control we have over a situation is where we are, then we stand where the view is best." She stood and put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze. "Maybe you should take a walk and think on that for a while."

She left him alone on the balcony and Masen replayed every moment he'd spent today with Bella, combing through his memories for a clear sign of whether or not Esme was right. He wasn't sure what he wanted to find. If she was right, then he had once again put his foot in his mouth and owed Bella yet another apology. If she was wrong, then he was right and it was Bella who needed to apologize.

He kept coming back to the expression on Bella's face when she'd first uttered those words … I did what I needed to. What if her nervousness and worry had nothing at all to do with sharks and everything to do with him?

Something else she'd said came to mind then … The harder I try to focus on something else, the more you're in my thoughts.

It was starting to look like his plan to keep things from getting complicated had seriously backfired. Not only had it not kept Bella from having feelings for him, it was giving the feelings she did have an importance that wasn't real—couldn't be real. Just like his fascination with her was from her being the "one he couldn't have" for lack of a better term, her fascination with him was wrapped up in being unable to have him. It was circumstance and nothing more.

But you don't believe that. You only think you believe it when she's not around. When she's not right beside you. And if yours for her are real, then so are hers for you. He sighed and leaned forward in the chair, propping his arms on his knees and sinking his hands into his unruly hair.

He still believed it was wrong for him to have any kind of romantic relationship with her as long as he was head of MMR and she was an intern. But maybe there are degrees. Maybe it might be okay as long as it doesn't go beyond kissing until our time in Africa is over. And if she has that, then she won't be fighting her feelings and she won't do crazy things like stay on deck after I tell her not to.

And maybe Esme was completely wrong and he was second guessing himself for nothing. He didn't see any sense in changing anything if there wasn't a problem.

Masen headed inside in search of his shoes. It was time for him to take a walk and find out exactly why Bella had been on deck today.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Bella was completely comfortable sitting in the sand as the day's light began to fade on her side of the world. Her knees were drawn toward her chest with her journal resting on them and there was a soft ball of fur asleep on her bare feet. The only sounds were the waves breaking against the shore and the occasional bird flying overhead.

She smiled from the pleasure of being in a peaceful place as she bowed her head and refocused on her journal entry, reading over what was already there.

Sighted: Great White Shark – three shapes underwater

Where: South Atlantic, Near Seal Island in False Bay, Western Cape of South Africa

Conditions: Sunny day, light winds, mid-afternoon

Description: Large grayish shadow. Impossible to estimate size due to poor visual quality of the water.

Side Note: Not my best day as intern.

She pulled in a deep breath to steady herself and then she began adding to her side note, doing her best to be completely honest.

I understand completely his reaction to my doing the opposite of what was asked. In his position, I probably would have done the same. I don't completely understand why I did it myself. I don't understand how I could handle tracking those shadows across the surface of the water. I don't understand why he's so important. It's not something I've decided. I don't feel there's a choice at all really. He is and I do. But he doesn't in return. He made that clear. And that's fine. I just have to figure out how to explain it so he'll understand and I won't disappoint him. I want him to know this internship is just as important to me.

Just as she closed her journal, Lizzy woke up and stretched her little legs. Bella laughed as the puppy yawned loudly and her tongue curled inside of her mouth.

After putting her journal into her bag, she picked Lizzy up and cuddled her against her chest. "You are going to need a bath when we get back. First you rolled all over in the sand and then you napped in it. At least in what wasn't covered by my feet."

Lizzy licked Bella's chin in response.

"It's such a shame Alice has always been afraid of dogs. I bet she would have loved to have a puppy like you if she'd seen how sweet you are. I know I would have. Maybe once I'm on my own I'll get one. But until then, I'll just enjoy you. We'll watch the sunset together and then we'll head back to the house and you'll get a bath, sweet girl."

While Bella was laughing over Lizzy licking her on the lips, a shadow fell over them. She lifted a hand to shield her eyes so she could get a look at the person and was completely surprised when she realized who was standing there.

"Mind if I join you?" Edward asked.

"It's okay with me if it's okay with Lizzy," Bella said, laughing at how wriggly the puppy had become at the sound of Edward's voice. She waited until he was sitting beside her and then passed him his very excited pet.

"Hey, sweet girl," he cooed, rubbing his cheek against Lizzy's head. "Did you miss me?"

From the way Lizzy was licking every bit of him she could reach, Bella was positive he had been missed a lot.

"She's full of sand," he said as he rubbed both of his hands along the puppy's back and sides.

"Yeah, we were playing in the sand earlier. I'm going to give her a bath, I promise. I just wanted to watch the sun set first."

"It's okay. She gets herself covered in it back home all the time."

Bella remembered a comment he had made on her first day on the boat. "Does she really surf with you?"

A really sweet smile curled his lips as he looked down at his puppy and scratched behind her ears. "She gets right up on the front of my board, sticks her neck out as far as it will go, and closes her eyes. Rides in on the wave with a big smile on her face. You'll see it before we leave."

Bella nodded while digging her toes into the sand, enjoying the warmth and the feel of the grains sliding against her skin. She had always loved doing this and now in one summer she could say she'd done it in Hawaii and Africa. She could also say she'd seen a sunrise and sunset while here.

Edward interrupted her musings. "Bella, did you really need to be on deck?"

"I know it might help things if I could explain why I felt that way, but … If you could just trust me that I knew it was the right thing and it didn't ruin my progress."

"If you disagree with my assessment, the time to tell me is during the conversation. You have to be honest with me in order for me to help you."

Bella snorted, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "You don't want honesty. You want obedience."

"I want to help you."

She looked at him fully and the expression on his face confirmed her thoughts about his response—he really meant it. "I know and I appreciate it, Edward. I really do. I know you didn't anticipate just how big of a problem sharks are for me." She took a deep breath and then finished her thought, hoping she wasn't making yet another mistake. "And neither of us expected for there to be other feelings involved. But here we are."

"Here we are," he agreed with a nod.

The silence that followed was far too charged for her taste and she blamed it for the stupidity that came out of her mouth next. "If you could go back to that first night and change it …"

The heat coming from the way he was looking at her dwarfed the sunburn on her neck.

She smiled as she turned her head away and looked down at her sand covered feet. "Yeah, I wouldn't either." She freed her feet and then asked the only question she could, "So now what?"

He laughed and playfully pushed against her shoulder. "Why don't you come up with the answer for a change? At least then if you decide not to go along with it, it'll completely be your fault."

She pushed right back. "You just want to make sure you don't have to apologize. Not that you know how to do that right anyway."

"Hey, I've apologized to you when I've been wrong."

Bella laughed and then spoke in the lowest voice she could. ""I apologize your first night with us wasn't what you expected."

"What was wrong with it? That was a great apology."

She rolled her eyes both at his reply and the shitty grin on his face. "Except for you not taking any responsibility for your part in things, it was amazing. I can't image why Esme feels you need help with your people skills."

Edward snorted and reached out as if he was going to push her shoulder again. Instead, he curled his fingers around hers. "You can help with my people skills and I'll help with your shark ones. We'll keep each other from doing things that require apologies."

She managed to nod despite being awfully distracted by the feel of his hand holding hers. His fingers shifted against hers and then squeezed lightly, getting her to lift her head and look at him. The blue that had been visible in his eyes when he'd first sat down was completely gone, replaced by a green so vibrant that she worried for a second she'd fallen asleep and their entire conversation was nothing but a dream.

The more those green eyes looked her way, the more she felt overheated and parched—but it wasn't water her body was craving. It was the lips he was currently licking and the way he was slowly leaning in to her, getting closer with each passing second.

Before she had a chance to question what he was doing, his cell phone started ringing and the sound caused Lizzy to bark and jump. Edward couldn't keep hold of his puppy or his balance and Bella just barely managed to move out of his way as he fell sideways into the sand. She laughed while Lizzy jumped onto his legs.

He ignored them both and managed to get his phone out and answered before it stopped ringing. "What?"

He rolled his eyes at whatever he was hearing and said, "No, we're not lost. We'll be back soon."

His annoyed expression changed to curious. "What kind of ice cream?"

Now he was smiling and sounding pretty pleased. "Have I mentioned how much I love you?"

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Give me ice cream more often and you'll hear it more often."

Whatever was said on the other end caused his smile to widen even more. It also made him tilt his head back to look at Bella. "Yeah, we're on our way. Thanks, Whit."

Bella had completely expected Lee or Esme to be on the phone so hearing it was Whit sent her into a fit of giggles.

"Time to go, Guppy," Edward said, standing over her and holding his hand out. "Whit's got ice cream and we need to shower off this sand. And if you stop giggling and get up, I'll bathe Lizzy for you."

It was a really good thing her face was already red from the laughing because the vision that popped into her head of being in a shower with Edward definitely made her blush. She shook her head to clear the image and then took his offered hand.

They walked the whole way back with Lizzy running around and between their feet, making them both laugh and stumble along the way. They talked about what kind of ice cream made Edward love Whit. They also talked of how the team would be together tomorrow even though it was a day off and Edward filled her in on a few of the ideas Lee had come up with for them. The only thing they didn't talk about was the kiss that had almost happened. Bella was beginning to believe the only consistency she would ever know with him was to always expect the unexpected.

The genuine smile he gave her as he handed her the first bowl of ice cream from Whit made her feel like maybe that wasn't such a big thing to accept in exchange for more smiles like that one. There was something about him that pulled her in closer no matter how much she wanted to be wary. She wondered if it was the same for him, if that was the real reason he couldn't manage to be consistent. It was definitely an intriguing thought.

For now though, she would just enjoy her ice cream and her new friends.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

A/N: Hello, readers! We hope you all enjoyed this new chapter of BTS. Lots going on with Bella and her attempts to get a handle on her fear of sharks. We also got to see Lee getting along with Bella and even encouraging her. And of course one of my favorite things, Whit getting to give Masen a hard time!

We have another treat for you guys this week! EternallyAddicted has posted a blog over at the Sharkward site written by none other than Gopher! It's a fun, great read and includes some valuable types on staying safe near sharks.

Next time – We'll visit some amazing places in and around Gordon's Bay and we'll have pictures at the Sharkward site. And if that's not enough to have you excited for the next installment, try this … we learn Bella's story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!