(The Killer in the Crosshairs)
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He'd misunderstood her for days. It wasn't the first time and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last time. Brennan was a genius and her thought processes eluded him sometimes. For days he'd thought she thought he was like Brodsky and she did, but not like he thought she did.
Yes, they're both snipers, both of them Army Rangers and both deadly when they had to be, but after he'd confronted her, she had told him what she saw when she saw him and when she saw Brodsky.
"Brodsky is bad and you are good."
She had told him in simple little teeny tiny words: You are good. She thought he was good.
It was a simple statement and yet it was the best thing anyone had ever said to him. You are good.
For a long time, he hadn't really considered himself as good or anything close to it. He'd killed a lot of men for the United States Army, for the CIA and for the FBI. He'd done what he'd been asked to do, by his country, by his superiors, but he had taken the lives of over 50 men and that wasn't something he took lightly. He had told her a few years ago, when they first started working together that with each shot we all die a little bit and he had meant what he had said. Each shot had stained his soul and for a long time he feared that God would never forgive him.
You are good.
Those words had surprised him and pleased him greatly. How did he find someone like her? All the shit they had been through together and she thought he was good. That dark space that resided in his soul cracked at that moment. If someone as honest and as truthful as Brennan saw him as good then maybe he was good. Wasn't he?
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Not sure he was doing the right thing, Booth stood outside the entrance to the Lab and nervously debated with himself whether or not he wanted to go through with it. It was a big step for him and he wasn't sure he should take that step or not. He'd tried a few days before and that had failed with a case, but now there was no case to stop him.
He finally realized that he was being just a little bit of a coward and that didn't sit well with him. With a slight unease, he marched through the entrance to the Lab and down the hallway to Brennan's office. Once he was there he breezed in to the room and greeted his partner. "Hey Bones."
Surprised to see him, Brennan smiled at her visitor. "Booth, what are you doing here? Do we have a case?"
Holding up two tickets, Booth answered her with a grin. "I know we missed that lecture on the Peloponnesian War and I know you really wanted to see it, so I called over at the University and they told me that there's another lecture tonight. It starts at seven. I thought we could leave now and go out for some dinner and then we could go to the lecture from the restaurant . . . what do you think?"
Filled with pleasure at the kindness Booth was showing her, Brennan stood up and walked closer to her partner. "That's so kind of you Booth. Yes, of course I'd like to go to the lecture. We've been so busy these past few days, I didn't bother to see if there was another lecture. I didn't think I'd have time to attend it if there was."
Handing her the tickets, Booth beamed at his partner. "I didn't think it was fair for you to miss the lecture and since I wanted to go too, I just thought it would be easier if I'd buy the tickets before they sold out. They only had a few seats left, so it's a lucky thing I ordered my tickets this morning."
The tickets now in her hands, Brennan stared at them. "Thank you, Booth. Let me get my purse and jacket and we can leave."
Watching her gather her things, Booth glanced around the neat office and realized that it had been a long time since he'd actually been at the Lab let alone in Brennan's office. Vowing to change that, Booth stepped aside as his partner walked towards the open doorway. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he felt like his world was finally starting to right itself. It had been askew for a long time and it finally felt like it was leveling off again.
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The lecture had been surprisingly interesting and Booth hadn't nodded off like he had feared he would. It was about war and right or wrong, war was interesting whether or not it was now or in the ancient past.
Leaving the auditorium, Booth kept his arm around his partner to protect her from the crowd as everyone squeezed down the aisle to leave. Once they were outside the lecture hall, Brennan led the way towards Booth's SUV with her partner walking beside her. "Dr. Curtrer was very entertaining. His lectures are very popular and now I see why."
"Yeah, I thought it was pretty interesting too." Arriving at his truck, Booth unlocked the doors and waited for Brennan to enter the SUV before he walked around the truck and entered the driver's side. Placing his key in the ignition, Booth turned to look at his partner. "Thanks for coming with me. We'll have to do this again."
So pleased that the evening had turned out as well as it had, Brennan agreed. "Yes, we will. It's much nicer to go to these things with someone who shares a common interest. I've been to many lectures by myself and I never realized that a companion would make them much more interesting."
His hand reached out and patted Brennan's knee. "Great . . . great. So want to go get a drink before we go home? It's only 8:46." Booth wanted the night to continue and waited for Brennan to make up her mind, hoping she was having as much fun as he was.
"Yes, it is still early. That would be fine." She hadn't felt this comfortable around Booth in such a long time and she realized that their circumstances had definitely changed since Hannah had crushed her friend's heart.
She had had mixed feelings ever since Hannah had entered in to her life and for a while she had accepted the fact that Booth had really moved on and that he had found someone strong enough to give themselves to him. She had stood by and watched Booth with Hannah and had thought she was doing the right thing until she knew she wasn't doing the right thing at all and then it was too late, or at least she had thought it was.
The death of Lauren Eames had made her take stock of her situation and her feelings towards Booth and she found it a bitter pill when she had realized that she may have lost the only man she could ever consider trustworthy enough to give herself to. She had blown her chance of a possible future with someone she loved and there hadn't been anything she could do to fix it.
Brennan had always been independent and she had little faith in the motives of others. She had learned at an early age that most people had hidden agendas and that few people were trustworthy. Love was a dangerous emotion and it could leave you vulnerable. A lesson learned at age fifteen was not easily forgotten and even though she had known her partner was in love with her and he was very trustworthy, she hadn't been able to allow herself to become attached to him.
Her social awkwardness, her literalness, her inability to discern ulterior motives of most people left her with the fear that if she allowed herself to trust Booth with her heart that it would end the way it had ended with her family. She would be crushed and alone.
Lauren Eames' circumstances had shown her that guarding herself from everyone who tried to love her could be just as heart crushing as betrayal could be. She was alone and was that really what she wanted? After talking to Booth about her self discovery, she had accepted that her epiphany had come too late and she would probably always be alone. And yet, it now appeared that she had a second chance and her life might not end that way after all.
Booth's affair had come crashing down around him and she was there to help him pick up the pieces. She didn't know if they would ever be more than the friends they were, but if circumstances changed, if Booth could rise above his anger, if she could steel herself to really allow herself to be attached to him, perhaps there was hope for both of them. Only time would tell.
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