Banjo Kazooie: The adventure seekers who defended Spiral Mountain against the infamous Gruntilda...
(Banjo + Kazooie face off against Gruntilda before knocking the witch off a her own castle)
Vs.
Mario: The heroic plumber who went to extreme lengths to rescue his damsel in distress and defend his home...
(Mario runs through multiple obstacles before meeting his arch nemesis Bowser face to face)
Vs.
Donkey Kong: The powerful gorilla who singlehandedly took on King K. Rool and his army of Crocodile pirates...
(DK runs through rugged jungle terrain plowing into multiple enemies while rolling in a barrel)
"This is the fight my inner child has been wanting to see three of the classical Nintendo 64s greatest protagonists, Banjo Kazooie the team of adventures who fought against the strangest opponents, Mario the heroic plumber who saved Princess Peach too many times and Donkey Kong the gorilla known for his strength and stamina." Marley said.
"No doubt this is gonna be a great fight I'm having trouble deciding which of the three is deadlier Marley." MKFreak said.
"Lets take a look at their stats." Marley said
Banjo Kazooie:
Origin: Banjo Kazooie
Height: Banjo-5' Kazooie-4'
Weight: Banjo-121 lbs. Kazooie-75 lbs.
Armor: None
Mario:
Origin: Super Mario 64
Height: 5'1"
Weight: 220 lbs.
Armor: Metal Cap
Donkey Kong:
Origin: Donkey Kong 64
Height: 8'
Weight: 650 lbs.
Armor: Barrel
When things get heated in a battle these three fighters bring to battle their own melee attacks. Banjo + Kazooie strike first with their signature fists + wing whacks.
Fists + Wing Whacks:
Reach 1'-3'
Power: Depends on health (200 psi)
"Banjo and Kazooie are experts in melee combat and have a wide array of attack such as the breegull bash an attack Kazooie might take damage from since Banjo grabs her and slams her onto the ground in front of them. Other attacks include Banjo's punches and a forward roll that kills weaker enemies but stuns stronger opponents. Another attack is the drill bill a move where Kazooie rapidly spins and slams her beak on their opponents." Marley explained.
"I hate to say this Marley but that is messed up its one thing to keep your friend in your backpack but its a hole new ballgame whenever you use her as a weapon." MKFreak replied.
"Point taken lets see what Mario bring to the battle." Marley said.
Mario counters the duos fists + wing whacks with his own fists and feet
Punches + Kicks:
Reach: 1'
Power: Depends on health (200 psi)
"Mario may be short and bulky but boy is he a fighter he can knock foes out with his jabs, send them flying backwards with his powerful upper cuts or even kick 'em in their family jewels with his powerful kicks." MKFreak said.
"His punching force and kicking power are also increased when he puts on a magical hat that turns him into a man of steel." Marley started. "However will look into that green hat later in the story."
Donkey Kong has his own brute strength which can easily overpower Mario and Banjo Kazooie
Brute Strength:
Reach: 2'-3'
Power: Immense (1000 psi)
"Though he is a gentle giant DK can easily crush his foes with his hands and can throw them off the edge of the world." Marley stated.
"DK's strength is incredible he can run through a forest occupied by a legion of Crocodile pirates and can easily over power them with his immense strength and would simply role into his enemies killing them all." MKFreak said.
Our team of experts factored in the skills and strength of each fighter to determine who gets the edge?
"This is a tough one to call each fighter has their distinct advantages with regards to speed, strength and versatility however I would give it to DK because he is much larger and stronger then Mario and Banjo Kazooie combined." MKFreak said.
"I would throw it up in the air on this one DK has his strength and size while Mario is faster then both DK and Banjo Kazooie. Although Banjo uses his poor friend Kazooie as a weapon that Drill Bill attack is so powerful it can break stone." Marley said.
In melee weapons the edge goes to Donkey Kong for his immense strength and size
Coming up the long range arsenals of these three N64 fighters are compared to one another. Next the special defensive and offensive weapons of the three warriors are put to the test. Afterwards our experts examine each warrior in the physical and psychological stats. Who will be the Deadliest warrior...?
When wanting to stay at a safe distance Banjo Kazooie took out their enemies with Kazooie's eggs
Eggs (Various Types):
Range: 100'
Weight: Under 1 lbs.
Variations: Ice Eggs, Fire Eggs, Grenade Eggs & Clockwork Eggs
"I already know how your gonna react to this MKFreak Banjo Kazooie have ranged capabilities like no other. Kazooie's eggs can be fired from a distance of hundred feet. Kazooie shoots eggs out of her mouth unlike any other animal, she also farts eggs which can stop any enemy from sneaking up in her and Banjo. Go ahead MKFreak what do you have to say about that." Marley explained.
"Where do I begin oh yeah she shoots fire eggs, ice eggs, grenade eggs and more explosive eggs from her mouth and she shoots eggs out of her rear end how can that be weird." MKFreak quipped.
Mario counters with his own ranged weapon.
The Throwing Boxes
Range: 25'
Weight: 50 lbs.
"Do I really have to explain during his quest to save Princess Peach, again, Mario focused more on melee attacks and speed but when worst comes to worst he can pick up anything and throw it at his enemies mostly it is a box." MKFreak explained.
"Simple and direct but no lethality what so ever." Marley said.
Donkey Kong returns fire with
The Coconut Gun:
Range: 50'
Weight: 5 lbs.
"This is another weapon that make DK so famous its so simple its surprisingly deadly he can hit coconut switches and take out enemies from afar. The Coconut gun also can shoot banana balloons which gives DK more bananas." Marley said.
"Three words; simple, useless, coconuts" MKFreak said.
Once again our experts factor in the skills and lethality of the weapons and found an unanimous edge.
"The throwing box is outed right off the bat since it is not a real weapon the coconut gun has range but with the wide variety of eggs and increased range and accuracy Banjo Kazooie have the edge no matter how ridiculous it is." MKFreak said.
"I agree with everything you just said expect the ridiculous factor well actually never mind it is a little bit weird, edge: Banjo Kazooie." Marley said.
In long range weapons Banjo Kazooie take the edge with Kazooie's eggs
When the going get tough these fighters use their special abilities that can defend and attack all at once. Banjo Kazooie step up first with
The Wonderwing:
Abilities: Protects against all attacks and can kill a normal foe in one strike
"Whenever Banjo Kazooie are in a life or death situation and are out of options they rely on their yellow feather which create a defensive barrier known as 'the wonderwing' it is so strong Banjo Kazooie can run through razor sharp turbines and can even survive a stomp from dinosaurs foot." Marley said.
"Yellow feathers that protect them against everything I guess that isn't that weird." MKFreak said.
Mario counters with
The Metal Cap:
Abilities: Increases strength, health and durability ten fold.
"Whenever Mario uses this green hat his body gets incased in cold hard steel, whenever in this form his strength, health and durability is increased though it does slow him down." MKFreak explained.
"Much like the Wonderwing the Metal cap grants Mario protection however can the wonderwing counter the strength and toughness of the metal cap." Marley replied.
Donkey Kong fights back with his most famous weapon
The Barrel:
Abilities: Protects him against all projectiles and crushes any enemy in front of it
"DK's third famous weapon isn't actually a weapon at all it is a barrel that he uses to travel great distances and protects him from projectiles and can also kill weaker enemies." Marley said.
"Like you said it isn't a weapon and want protect against Kazooie's eggs and want hurt Mario or Banjo Kazooie if their shielded by the wonderwing or metal cap." MKFreak stated.
We factored in the weapons and skills of each fighter once more and found a difficult decision.
"The Barrel isn't your ordinary weapon but it does have decent protection the wonderwing can protect from all projectiles and other attacks and the metal cap increases Mario's strength and health ten fold, edge: even between Mario and Banjo Kazooie." MKFreak said.
"I would agree Mario's metal cap increases his strength, durability but sadly slows him down. The wonderwing can protect against almost any projectile it also increases their speed, edge: even." Marley said.
In special weapons its dead even between Mario and Banjo Kazooie
X-Factors Evaluations:
"First off we have Strength and this goes to Donkey Kong hands down since he is nearly twice as large as Banjo Kazooie and Mario he gets this by a long shot with 100, to Banjo's 87 Kazooie's 64 and Mario's 89. Endurance was a close debate Donkey Kong and Banjo Kazooie were rated at a 100 since they have the size and strength Mario only got a 96 and again Donkey Kong has a 100. Teamwork was obvious Donkey Kong did fight alongside Diddy Kong but in this case its just him Banjo Kazooie get a 100. Finally we have Combat Experience and each fighter got a 100 because of who they were fighting and how long they're fighting for." Rob Explained.
"Okay Rob I'm so excited for this matchup there is only one thing left to do lets run the simulation." Marley said.
_
Daly clicks the switch and the battle opens up to Banjo + Kazooie as they ran trough Spiral Mountain. The two stopped suddenly and saw a massive gorilla figure in the distance. Donkey Kong looked around the new environment and saw Banjo Kazooie looking at him. Kazooie fired one of her grenade eggs at Donkey Kong who jumped into a barrel and rolled towards the two. The grenade blew up next to DK who remained unscathed thanks to his barrel Banjo Kazooie ran towards DK and at the moment entered their wonderwing state. As the two crashed into each other a massive explosion rocked the skies. As the smoked cleared Banjo Kazooie slowly rose to their feet Banjo scratched his head and groaned in pain. They looked around and saw DK as he rose too his feet. The two glared at each other and before they could fight again Mario appeared from the sky flying with his winged hat. Banjo Kazooie and DK looked at the new fighter and stared at each other. The Camera panned around all three fighters before zooming out.
FIGHT!
DK was the first to attack running towards Mario who put on a green cap incasing his body in cold hard steel. DK punched Mario multiple times slamming his fists on his face and bringing his hands down onto Mario's shoulders flattening him to a pancake shape. As DK raised his hands to bash Mario. Banjo Kazooie rammed into him with a beak bash, knocking DK backwards the two continued to attack DK with punched knocking DK around before rolling into him. DK grabbed the two and threw them behind his shoulder sending them crashing through a small forest. DK turned towards Mario who punched him in the face and chest multiple times before jumping onto DK's shoulders and flipping him over slamming him onto his back stunning him. Mario went to punch DK in the back of the head. Before he could do so Kazooie fired another grenade egg sending Mario flying. Banjo Kazooie charged towards Mario with their Wonderwing protecting them against a box thrown by Mario. Shocked Mario charged towards the two and throughout a right hook catching Kazooie off guard sending a shot wave across the Spiral Mountain. Mario stood up and looked around and turned to see a towering Banjo as he punched him in the face multiple times as this was happening DK took out his coconut gun and began to aim at the Mario and Banjo as they fought before he could fired Banjo punched Mario so hard he flew backwards. Giving Banjo Kazooie the distance they needed and fired an Ice egg freezing Mario before he could run away. Banjo and Kazooie charged towards Mario and at the last minute rolled into to his frozen statue breaking it to pieces.
_
First Out: Mario
Banjo Kazooie looked towards DK as he fired his Coconut gun striking Banjo in his shoulder injuring him. Kazooie fired dozens of grenade eggs at DK who dodged the explosions and rushed Banjo Kazooie backhanding Banjo sending him flying backwards. DK continued his onslaught but Banjo and Kazooie were protected by Kazooie's wonderwing. Donkey Kong slammed his hands onto the two knocking them backwards. DK charged towards the incapacitated Banjo Kazooie but was surprised to find that they still had some fight left in them. Banjo backflipped over DK and swung his backpack knocking DK forwards. DK retaliated with a backhand but Banjo ducked underneath it and gave DK an upper cut which send him flailing backwards. Banjo and Kazooie ran into the forest pursued quickly by DK. As Donkey Kong searched for the two Banjo came running up behind him punching him in the back of his head as DK punched back Banjo was already gone. DK looked around for his two enemies unbeknownst to him Kazooie had fired a Clock Work Eggs. The miniature robot bird snuck up behind DK before exploding. Donkey Kong flew forwards majorly incapacitated. Donkey Kong struggled to get to his feet and looked up to see Banjo Kazooie. DK got back to his feet and looked at Banjo Kazooie and rushed him bringing his fists down but Banjo Kazooie jumped backwards and punched DK in the chest and face multiple times plowing into him. Forcing DK to his knees Banjo Kazooie jumped into the air and drill billed DK's back. Donkey Kong went to punch Banjo but fell to the ground dead.
_
Second Out: Donkey Kong
Banjo Kazooie looked around and walked back to Spiral Mountain and continued to look for Banjo's sister.
Results: Out of the 1,900 simulated battles Banjo Kazooie emerged victorious because of Kazooie's eggs which could keep DK and Mario at a distance and had a variety of eggs to fire. DK came in second because of his size and strength. Mario lost because he lacked the prober ranged weapons even with his metal cap he was being frozen and blown to bits by Banjo Kazooie.
Banjo Kazooie:
Fists + Wing Whacks: 101
Eggs (Various Types): 506
Wonderwing: 103
WINS: 710
Donkey Kong:
Brute Strength: 321
Coconut Gun: 190
Barrel: 99
WINS: 610
Mario:
Punches + Kicks: 144
Throwing Boxes: 64
Metal Cap: 372
WINS: 580
"This was an incredibly close fight considering the X-factors and weapons. However Banjo Kazooie ended up winning because of Kazooie's eggs which could kill both DK and Mario at the greater distance. DK nearly won because of his size and strength but wasn't enough to win. Mario lost this fight because his weapons lacked the versatility and range needed to win but his metal cap made it harder for both DK and Banjo Kazooie up close." Rob explained.
Next week on 'Deadliest Warrior of Fiction' it's a battle between two of fictions most powerful and legendary fighters.
Kratos: The vengeful Spartan warrior who killed Ares becoming the God of War...
(Kratos leads a large army of Spartan Hoplite into battle)
Vs.
Cthulhu: The part-human, part-dragon, part-octopus deity who influences fear and mental insanity in his opponents...
(Cthulhu sits on his thrown as his tentacles wave in the air behind him)
I now it was shorter then expected I didn't really expect it to be so difficult to test the weapons and abilities of all three fighters but none the less I really loved this fight and we've got more matchups for this new story. Some of course were MKFreak's ideas.
Skarlet v. Mai Shiranui
Ivy v. Sindel
Ironman v. Guyver
Mileena v. Black Orchid
Ash Williams v. Duke Nukem
Boba Fett v. Agent Texas
Gandalf the While v. Dumbledore
Chakan v. Alucard
Fulgore v. Cyrax
Kano v. Deadpool
The Avengers (Comics) v. Doomsday (Comics)
The Bitterman v. The Ranger
Ryu Hayabusa v. Scorpion
Power Rangers Battle Royale