Harry woke slowly, his body already lighting off warning lights and alarms, as his systems gradually came online. Everything hurt. And he could barely move at first. He stared up at the ceiling of the dingy room he recognized as his bedroom at Number 4 Privet Drive. He'd stared at that stain on the ceiling countless times over the years, he should know it by now. He tried to roll into a more comfortable position one that didn't have the larger scabs on his back sticking to the sheets. But stopped as his brain tried to tell him something important. It took a minute of lying uncomfortably on his side before what it was came flooding back hard, and with a flash, suddenly his memories of the afterlife came back. Waking up, being guided to the office then screamed at by a distraught Kara, all of it. Kara Smith a girl who had died in a version of New Jersey in a world without magic. But most of all, his memories of his death, and worse, of his life before this one. He remembered holding Hermione's broken form in his arms and the well of despair which had open inside him, and…Hermione's vacant gaze…Harry started sweating as the memory broke against his mind like a tidal wave, and a physical pain and the unholy terror burst to life in his chest once again.
With nothing more pressing to hold it in check, he curled in on himself, cradling his head as he struggled to push the memories from his mind, but they were stubbornly holding on, clear as crystal, as though he were there now, and he couldn't help it he started to keen rocking himself as the grief struck him. No, No, No, No, No, Not Hermione, not her, anyone but her, god why did you take my friend, why would you take her and not me? Why, why, why, why— His mind gibbered senselessly. He rocked trying to escape it, and fell from the bed to the floor, causing his body to wail complaints. Perhaps it was this pain but the chant in his head was interrupted if only briefly by a thought. Not dead! Not dead yet! And Neither is she! This caused the gibbering to alter slightly. She's not dead! Not Yet! She Can't be! She's not dead! Not Yet! She Can't be! Why? Why? Why? The panicked portions of his brain asked.
Because you were sent back! She doesn't have to die, Howled a distant part of his mind and the gibbering quieted all at once. She doesn't have to die. If you get back on your feet and do something about it, She doesn't have to die. Screw everything else, she doesn't have to die! Nothing else matters, get THE FUCK TO YOUR FEET! SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO DIE! And suddenly the keening stopped, the throbbing pain in his head stopped, the panic withdrew if only a little. He could save her, all he had to do was something. Something, anything, and he would be on course to change that at least. Who cared if he lived? Not him, of that he was certain, only one thing mattered, he would save her, he would save everyone he could, and when he died it would be of relief from shedding his burdens. At least she could live…
Harry still took sometime to not only bludgeon his abused body into the correct position, but to override enough of the panic to allow energy back to his limbs. He could have knelt there crouched over cradling his head for hours and never known it, but finally he had enough strength to push to his feet.
Forget everything else, chastised the one rational part of his brain. Just focus on doing one thing…Just one, and you can save her. One thing at a time, one small step for Harry… The voice teased and he chuckled weakly.
So the question became what could he do right this second? You can clean your wounds. Go to the bathroom, clean and bind your wounds. He stumbled across the hall and into the bathroom, and pulled open the medicine cabinet, grabbing the hydrogen peroxide and the cotton swabs. He washed the wounds he could reach and let it sit for a minute before his brain delivered the next instruction. Just take the shower. That's all you need to think about for now, just think about getting clean. If you need encouragement think about how Hermione would feel if she saw you like this? He was stripping a moment later, and hauled his aching body into the shower and turned the water on cold and showered as quickly as he could, while still being as thorough as he needed to be. He stumbled out of the shower and across the hall stark naked holding his blood soaked clothes. Get dressed and grab your wand, you can't do anything else until then… His mind told him sternly.
He pulled open his dresser, and grabbed some clothes that should fit relatively well and drew them on. His back squealed but his mind ignored it. He looked at the bloody clothes. Run it through the washer or scourgify them it doesn't matter, you're already in trouble for the Dementors, in for a penny in for a pound right? He decided on scourgifying. He pulled his wand, a device he was very glad to see intact, and pointed it at the bloody clothing and cast. The dried blood and effluvia drifted into the air like a cloud before being absorbed by his wands tip. His clothes were relatively clean now at least. He folded them then piled them into his trunk and set to work with the others, pulling them from the drawers and throwing them into there with the bloodied ones. Good now your books, and your school equipment. Leave the food, it's potioned remember? Now hurry up. His rational brain said firmly. He rushed about his room piling his stuff into the trunk and resealing it. Then he hurried out into the hall and down the stairs to the cupboard where he'd used to live. He kicked the lock on the door until it simply snapped off and pulled out the stuff like his second suitcase and his broom. He hurried back upstairs. He grabbed the straps he always used to secure his things together to the trunk, and grabbed some of the sheets off the bed to muffle Hedwigs empty cage and belted them on. Hedwig's still alive too. She's just in lockdown at Grimmauld place right now, his mind told the rest of him.
Now what do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Can't stay here, it'll break you to stay here now. So where do we go? The rational part asked. The rest threw up a variety of answers. Diagon! The Ministry, St Mungo's? Hogwarts? Grimmuald Place! No! Diagon, can hide there among the crowds. Can get anything we need there. Anything, money, books, food, anything! Chittered another part of his brain as it came around. His intellect was starting to stir out of its stupor.
Yes! Remember the plan! We can get some things together…What do we need most there? Money? Well yes, but what do we need the money for most? Protection? What kinds? Physical? New clothes, a backup wand! Shelter? A hotel room? That nicer inn beside Gringotts! Good, Good, mental protection, any chance we can figure out something for that? No, no, the wizarding worlds not much good at the study of psychology, better to go to a muggle store for that…What about occlumency? Murmured a small portion of his brain. You may not be in any shape right now to attack your psyche, but you can at least learn to prevent others from damaging it further, right? They might have books to point you in the right direction. And if you get going the right direction with it you can get Dumbledore off your back… pointed out his reason.
Then that's the plan, money, and protection first, then food and some sleep. Diagon it is then. Now how do we get there? We could always Apparate, but that would draw attention…Floo? No, the Dursleys aren't hooked into the network. And besides we don't have any powder… That leaves the Knight Bus doesn't it. Maybe grab a Dimenhydrinate then if we're taking the bus, you probably don't have too much food in you right now…Just be ready to feel a bit dozy. He decided against the Gravol. He hauled his trunk and assorted goods downstairs and to the front door. WAIT! Screeched his mind. Check for Dumbledore's watchers! It instructed and he rushed to the front window and peered out carefully. Checking for figures or particularly deep shadows, nothing. He rushed to the back when he saw a figure leaning lazily against an electrical pole, smoking a cigarette. Mundungus Fletcher, perfect for his needs. Mundungus Fletcher is quite possibly the worst guard in the Order even after Dumbledore blew his top a him. You're clear to leave out the front. Now move your ass! He thought and pulled the front door open and hefted his luggage through as quietly as he could. He hurried out and down the street barely bothering to close the door behind him. He took off as quickly as he could while still remaining quiet.
He only stopped when he reached the park where he'd seen Sirius back in third year. He carefully looked around to see if he could spot anybody looking then drew his wand and stuck it out on the street like he was calling a taxi and waited. It only took a moment but the Bus, sure as anything, came warping out of nowhere and pulled to a screeching halt at the curb.
"Look 'ere Ern! It's Neville"
—
Harry got off the bus, trying to avoid another inane conversation with Stan Shunpike. The man could blather on like no other, about the stupidest things. Funny how that never used to bother me. Harry noted to himself as he dragged his trunk out of the bus and onto the sidewalk. He scanned the world around him carefully, no swarm of Death Eaters, Dementors, or Order Members. That's a start, let see what else we can manage tonight. He said to himself.
He looks up to the sign over the pub door and shook his head. The things muggles overlooked as a matter of course. A Pub that only catered to magicals was ignored because of it's mundane appearance, and an ever so slight aversion ward. He pushed through the door and into the pub proper, looking around the dank interior, and reflected that the muggles might have been better off ignoring this place by and large. His eyes skated over a man stirring his drink wandlessly and to Tom the bartender, he looked around but couldn't find anyone else of note. He hurried to the door into the alley just as another patron was coming out and managed to catch the door before it could close behind him.
He looked at the sky above, and then down at the shops most, of which were closed. It's later than I thought, should have checked a clock before leaving. Nothing for it now, need to rethink the plan. Gringotts is open this late yeah, but the shops aren't. Hit the inn and get a room. We'll work in the morning instead.
His brain was chattering hard to keep the panic, which was still lingering in the background, from surging. Diagon alley uses the pun to define it's aesthetic. The buildings are all somewhat off kilter to reflect this. Knockturn alley is similar, whoever designed these streets must have thought himself quite clever. Oh! Look Flourish and Blott's is open. It noted as his eyes flicked frantically around the alley.
He hurried over to the door, and noted it was open for another twenty minutes according to the sign before he bustled in. He considered just finding what he wanted himself, but he might be able to hurry things along if he asked. He pushed up to the desk and grabbed the clerks attention. A bored looking young man of about Harry's age but whom he didn't recognize from Hogwarts. "Excuse me do you have any books on Occlumency?" He asked slightly urgently.
The boy looked flummoxed. "Don't know what 'at is guv." He said simply.
"The art of protection ones mind from outside influence, particularly by those who have mastered the art of mind reading, also known as Legilmency." He said, reciting a brief definition from his head.
The clerk still looked doubtful. "Don't know 'or certain guv but you might find some uv 'at in 'e "mental sciences" against 'e back wall there." The youth suggested. Harry thanked him and hurried over to it. Upon searching through the books on the wall he was able to find precisely one book on Occlumency, a beginners manual to "Mind Magic". He'd see about getting the more complicated stuff later. He returned to the counter and payed for the book and then made his way back out into the alley.
Next stop, the inn. His brain reminded him. He followed it instruction and was in a room he'd rented for the night a few minutes later after having avoided the attentions of a particularly nosy clerk. In times gone by, such as the last time he was fifteen, he would have been angered by this but he'd figured out how to manage his temper since, it was his other emotions that were becoming harder to manage. Particularly those associated with fear.
So now he found himself assuaging his nerves by staring out the window, down into the alley. He spotted only a few individuals of note, a patrolling Auror, a pair of Gringotts guardsmen by the banks doors, and a shady individual exiting Knockturn. The shops had all closed since his retreat to his room.
He knew if he tried to sleep right this moment, his fears would start jabbering at him, and he'd get overwhelmed promptly. They were too fresh still, for it to be otherwise. I'll read until I'm tired enough to fall asleep quickly. He decided. He pulled the book on Occlumency, and started reading. It was pretty dry reading, not necessarily a bad thing when you're hoping to tire yourself out. The part he read seemed to have to do with starting a meditation regimen.
Not particularly easy in his current state of mind, but he was able to fall asleep peacefully rehearsing the steps to the basic meditation over, and over again until he finally lost consciousness.
—
Unfortunately, he couldn't avoid his memories entirely, not even in his sleep. He found himself racing the stairs from the basements under Malfoy Manor. No matter how fast he ran, how he struggled, he couldn't reach her before she died. And over it all his conversation about how it came to be with Kara kept playing always ending with the same two word statement. Poor Hermione… and then he saw her lying there on the ground.
He shot up out of bed, his arms pinwheeling. And immediately the din of panicked voices started in his head. No! Not her too! Not Hermione! But his reason was on the ball, and started shouting over it all Don't let yourself get swept away! Find something to do, anything! Shower! It's Morning, take a shower and clean your wounds. It instructed. Harry immediately complied, he pushed up out of the bed and hurried into the bathroom, stripping as he went. He got himself under the water and scrubbed until the water was tinging red. Then he got out and dried himself off got some clothes on and awaited orders. Exercise, you need to be in good shape to protect Hermione! The voice noted. You need to be able to fight! Now pushups!
He fell and started doing just that. He kept going until his arms were too weak to continue then switched to sit ups he did that until he couldn't continue. Now grab your things. Go for a run. You're almost calmed down. Just a little more and you're in control again.
He hurried out into the alley, and noted it was mostly quiet, dawn was barely peaking over the roof tops. He paced to the Leaky Cauldron, then turned and full out sprinted down the alley, past the bank all the way past Knockturn, and down to the dead end, he turned back and sprinted back. He got some funny looks but he didn't care. He repeated this process twice before he collapsed into a bench out front the pub, breathing heavily. But his mission was accomplished, he wasn't panicked any more, and he was thinking clearly.
He was remembering his mission and his plans now, Protection, get your money and by what you need to get started on that. He pushed to his feet once he had his breath back and jogged to the bank and up into the marble lobby. This time he saw a face he recognized. Griphook, and with the goblins face came a flood of memories. He drowned them out by chanting the steps to begin a basic meditation in his head.
He shook off the memories, and approached the counter. He nodded respectfully to the goblin. "Hello Griphook," He greeted simply smiling thinly and inserted his finger in the identity confirmer.
The Goblin gave a small start. "You know my name?" He asked surprised.
Harry nodded simply, keeping his mind running as cold as possible, to keep the memories under control, "Yes, you were the employee who helped me find my vault on my first visit here."
The Goblin nodded dubiously. "Yes, I know. Most Humans in my experience couldn't be bothered to remember a Goblin's name let alone face." He pointed out.
Harry chuckled darkly. "Yes, well I'm not most humans," He said matter of fact. The goblin nodded agreement.
"If even a quarter of the stories about you are true, that is patently obvious," He agreed wryly. Then folded his hands in his lap and nodded thoughtfully. "Now what can I help you with today?" He asked slightly more amiable.
Harry was glad to get down to business. "I need to withdraw some money, but I'd also like an update on the state of my finances." He said thinking over his needs and how long what was in his vault might last him.
The goblin nodded and rolled his chair over towards the filing cabinets and leafing through it. "When was your last bank statement?" He asked.
Harry stared at him blankly, "Uh…I get bank statements?" He asked uncertainly.
Harry tried to think of a reason why he hadn't received a bank statement. Or any mail for that matter. He could only think of one reason and it was making him angry. Dumbledore the interfering old man was too clever for his own damn good. He had clearly redirected his mail, probably back in the days just following the Potter's Deaths.
Apparently he wasn't hiding his displeasure so well, because the goblin was casually moving his hand towards the panic button, so Harry started deep breathing and clenching and unclenching until he was calm again.
"I apologize, I'm just frustrated, Dumbledore has been redirecting my mail, likely it was originally intended for my safety, but he's made some mistakes…" He grumbled rubbing tiredly at the bridge of his nose. "He should have redirected the mail back to me once I started attending Hogwarts."
"Immaterial, it is a capitol offense to interfere with the mail, particularly those regarding a persons finances." Griphook noted severely.
Harry nodded agreement. "Dumbledore's opinion of the laws of the land, is that they're something that happens to other people." He said dryly. "Can I set this up so he can no longer interact with my accounts?" Harry asked.
The Goblin nodded firmly. "Absolutely. Halfaxe!" He shouted over his shoulder and an assistant bustled up. Griphook murmured something into the other Goblin's ear and the assistant hurried off. He pulled out some paperwork from the filing cabinet and handed it across to Harry, detailing where he'd have to sign to have it legal.
When Harry was finished Griphook had the bank statement available. "Now then Harry, which vault would you like to know about?" He asked, looking over his report.
"I have more than one then?" Harry asked dryly.
The Goblin was sympathetic, smiling grimly at him. A look which was terrifying on a Goblin. "Yes, several in fact, you're just not allowed to access them all until you're of age," He explained.
"What resources do I have access to then?" Harry asked.
"As the subject of the trust vault and the sole remaining heir of your house, you have access to the trust vault which you have already been using, and you have access to one valuable non liquid assets vault and one standard currency vault." The Goblin recited. "Total value of the assets in these vaults Two Million, fifty-hundred-three thousand, five-hundred and thirty three Galleons. That is approximately 12,517,665 British pound Stirling." The Goblin said thoughtfully calculating with an abacus.
"So you're saying I'm a multimillionaire even with just the money I have in those three vaults?" Harry asked stunned. "Some people never see a million galleons or pounds, after a life time of work."
The Goblin chuckled. "With a few notable exceptions most of those people don't have Goblins tending their finances for generations." He noted somewhat smugly. "And technically you have access to a pair of properties as well, the cottage at Godric's Hollow, which was admittedly, largely ruined in the assault on your parents, and their apartment in London." He said scribbling down the addresses. He handed it across to Harry as the assistant from earlier returned, and murmured into Griphook's ear. "Ah, it appears the Director would like to meet with you ," Griphook said, looking mildly surprised and getting to his feet. "If you'd follow me?"
Harry was led into a room being guarded by a pair of Goblin soldiers, wearing the strange, and yet beautifully insectile armour their people favoured. Both carried Goblin halberds which they shifted in their grips as he approached.
The directors office was tastefully opulent, and the smallish figure behind the desk conservatively dressed. Something which is always comforting to see in those who handle your money. Harry noted the soldiers standing in the corners of the room, these carried scimitars instead of poleaxes.
"Greetings Mr. Potter, I am Director Ragnok," The being behind the desk said standing, and maneuvering around the desk to greet Harry. Harry extended his hand which the Director hesitated only a moment before shaking.
"You can just call me Harry sir," Harry greeted sincerely.
The Goblin appeared surprised and smiled crookedly, "Ah, then you can call me Ragnok," He said charitably. "Now then I hear you've been having difficulties today, running through the streets like the hounds of hell were after you, your mail with us having been intercepted and redirected. And you were unaware of your vaults…" he trailed off.
Harry was embarrassed his morning run had been noticed. "Uh, yes…As to the running about, healthy body healthy mind right?" He said smiling uncertainly. The goblin just chuckled as he reseated himself. "As for the other stuff, that's because Dumbledore redirected my mail when I was put into hiding following their deaths. He apparently—" Harry cast about for the right term to use. "Forgot, to set it right once I returned to the magical world." He explained.
The Goblin looked at him blandly, then smiled a bit. "Indeed, would you like us to pursue legal action against Albus Dumbledore on your behalf?" He asked curiously.
Harry snorted, and the little voice in his head he thought of as the marauder said That'd go over well with the Old Man, we should do it just for the entertainment value. Harry smiled benignly at Ragnok, "Tempting, but no, I don't need that kind of conflict in my life right now,"
The goblin smirked, a fantastic expression for a goblin face to create. "Yes I bet you don't, the Daily Prophet has been less than complimentary the last while," He noted sarcastically, indicating just what he thought of the paper. "Then I'll ask you if you want to see your parent's will today as that is another matter which has been left unresolved." Ragnok queried.
Harry somehow wasn't surprised that his parent's will had been left unhandled. "Yes, I would, if I could." Harry requested.
"I should warn you, that as the sole heir of your family you have the right to view the will without any of the unrelated bequests featured within the will, however you do not have the right to deny them their bequests. Once the will is read it will be carried out to the letter." Ragnok cautioned.
"I'd still like to hear it, I think." Harry decided, he hadn't known about anything left by his parents for his use. The Chance to hear their words to him…would be worth those minor stipulations.
"Very well, allow me to begin the recitation." The Goblin said solemnly. He took out a small blue envelope which had been secured in a small lockbox on his desk. He placed up what looked like a miniaturized table and pressed a rune set into it's surface. A voice began to read in an approximation of James Potters voice.
"Wow, A will…Huh. It's strange to be writing something like this. I mean, something that will only be heard if you die? If you are listening to this version of the will written by me James Potter I guess it means we didn't make it. Lily and me that is…Also it probably means that we were betrayed by our secret keeper, Peter Pettigrew. If not then, perhaps we simply fell in one of our skirmishes with the Dark Lord? Regardless, I have some things to say to our friends…Assuming any of you lot are still alive.
I of course wish to speak to my son Harry, but I'd better clear up the rest of them first as they'll affect what he gets in the end. I'll start with Albus blah blah blah effin' Dumbledore, Merlin old man your name is a massive pain in the arse to say. To you goes the responsibility to see this will carried out, and a small stipend of 100,000 Galleons for the purpose of funding the Order. I will also leave my cloak for you to hand off to my son when he starts attending Hogwarts. Dumbledore, I know you mean well, but your plans are seriously getting in the way of moving forward. You and your bloody greater good are leaving good people to suffer. A word to the wise, eventually the greater good is no longer the greater good if to many are sacrificed for it. I know you mean well old friend, but that's the truth of it. Now…I have one final instruction. We don't want Harry going to Lily's sister. The woman is too embittered right now, she'd only hurt Harry, which is to say nothing of that husband of hers. No the list of guardians in order of whom he should go to are first Sirius black, second Remus Lupin (sorry Moony), third The Tonks', and fourth Amelia Bones, only then if there is no other choice should he go to Petunia. And god help us all if its that bad." The voice cleared it's throat and started again. "To Sirius Black, hey Padfoot, sorry we didn't make it. I meant to of course but with someone as dangerous as Voldemort as the enemy? It was always a chance. So I'm left with the question: What does one leave the heir of an already rich family? Well everything technically if you end up with Harry, but I figured I'd leave an Indian 500 Motorcycle I'd been restoring and modifying for you. I know you've already got a flying bike, but you'll love this one too I'm sure. Also my little black book of pranks. You'll get a chuckle out of some of them I'm sure. That book is not for you Albus! You should be left wondering about some of them, its funnier that way." Harry leaned forward and rested his hand on his chin while he listened to his Fathers voice, laughing while he talked to his friend.
"Next Remus, if you're getting Harry, I suppose you're in a flat out panic right now, don't worry we have faith in you, and are leaving you with a bequest of 500,000 Galleons and that Cottage in the forest of Dean. Yes. That cottage, now don't protest and just say thank you, you crazy howling at the moon coot. Now then who's next. Well I suppose it's Peter then, if by some chance you are not the reason we're dead as of the reading of this will. Congratulations I had hoped you had it in you. Here's 500,000 Galleons, we know there's no chance in hell you would want to raise a kid so don't worry about it. If you did betray us…Well sod off up the river you little vermin." The voice growled.
"Next the Tonks', Hey Andi, Hey Ted, sorry to put you on the spot like this, but if you're the ones who are left, Harry goes to you. I know you've already got your hands full with Nymphadora, but I'm sure she'll be a fantastic big sister. I'll be leaving you 500,000 Galleons. Who's left? Amelia, Hey Amelia, know you're up to your neck in work which is why you're last, not because we think little of you. If you're getting Harry it's likely because everyone else is gone, in which case take Harry and bolt. Get the hell out of town and hide under the biggest rock you can find. Bloody hell, I hope that's not the future we have to look forward to." He took a deep breath.
"Which leaves Harry, sorry buddy, we really hoped to be there for you. We love you more than anything else in the world. I think you'll like the people we have lined up to take care of you. Unless they're all dead in which case, you too should probably be running… To you goes everything left after the other bequests are laid out. All the money, and all the remaining properties, go to you. Also, somewhat unfortunately you get the dubious honour of being the new head of the Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter, which means you are now Lord Harry James Potter…Wow huh. I never was to fond of the title myself but maybe that'll be different for you. Uh, I don't know I feel like I should tell you about the good people and the bad people, but that'd be kinda going overboard for a will. So I'll just point out this envelope encloses a letter just for you. It's not much but all that we can give you that's just from us." The voice paused for a moment.
"Well I guess that's really it then eh? The Goblins have already been paid so don't worry about that Harry, maybe give them a bonus though. Never hurts. Uh that's it I guess. Bye? Is this thing still…."
Harry chuckled at that last bit. So his parent had wanted him to know that they loved him. And they had hoped he wouldn't go to the Dursley's, He'd have to have that talk with Dumbledore. "Can I get a copy made of this will to show to the various people in the bequest?" He asked and the Goblin nodded.
"Already done, here's your copy and the letter enclosed especially for you. Also you're head of house ring. I should warn you that you are now considered of age. That comes with a whole set on legal hurdles to be aware of." Ragnok warned and handed it all over. Harry turned the old ring over and over again for close to a minute before reluctantly putting it on.
Harry opened the smaller envelope and started reading the letter within. "Dear Harry, We just wanted to say yet again how much we love you, and how much we wish we could have been there for you. You're probably hoping this letter is full of secret wisdom and family secrets and such. Well I'm afraid there's not much in the way of that. But there is this, the reason for our death and the reason for our going into hiding. The prophesy by the (sometimes) seer Sybil what's-her-face.
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …
A grim message, but we can't imagine anything being gained from hiding it from you. Letting you know gives you time to prepare. You won't be standing alone I'm sure, take care of your friends and allies. We love you. And are already proud of you. Lily and James Potter."
Harry just stop and tried to breath regularly. It was difficult, his parent may have had a vague idea it would be useful for him to know these things, but they had no idea what kind of boon it was. But it was also in addition to that a reminder of the monumental task laying ahead of him.
Harry was shaking a bit, "Er—Uh, would you mind if I…Do you have somewhere private for me to, figure somethings out?" He asked as steadily as he could manage. The Director was paying close attention to the boys reactions, and felt some sympathy for the boy. "Of course, you may use my private library," He said indicating one of the doors off to the main office. Harry walked stiffly to the door after nodding thanks to his the head Goblin, and walking carefully into the centre of the library after closing the door gently behind him.
When a goblin checked to see if he'd gotten himself sorted a half hour later they saw the boy standing stalk still in the middle of the room his head thrown back, such that he would have appeared to be staring at the ceiling, had his eyes not been clamped shut. He had a visible aura like a shimmer of heat emanating from him, until it fizzled out all at once as he noticed their presence. He thanked the bank director for his help on his way out of the office and then stumbled outside into the early morning sun. The Goblin reported the phenomena to the Director, who became a very thoughtful Goblin.
—
He was sitting on the bench outside the inn when he heard a voice that sounded familiar, "Harry?"
He looked up and saw a teen of about his age standing there staring at him in surprise. Her eyes worried and startled. Her dark hair hanging around her shoulders. He didn't immediately recognize her, but eventually his addled brain bludgeoned itself into gear. "Kara?"
She smiled wryly at him, that note of concern still in her eyes. "Yeah, the one and only, what are you doing here Harry? I thought you'd still be at the Dursleys at this point." She asked sounding mildly confused.
He shook his head, "Yeah, not much I could do around there, not that mattered anyways, I needed to do something…" He trailed off, not eager to say anything about his break downs just yet. Three in less than a day, that was less than helpful.
She nodded sympathetically. "Yeah I hear ya', memories were louder than I expected being back in Newark," She said dryly.
"So they really dropped you back there? You got here pretty fast," He noted.
"As fast as was physically possible, I remembered why I hated that place as soon as I woke up," She admitted.
"Is New Jersey really that bad?" Harry asked curious, watching her taking in the sights and consider her new surrounding.
She made a rude noise. "In Newark? They may not eat their dead there, or leave them lying in the streets, but that's not saying a lot. There weren't any collapsed buildings just left to rot really either, everything was just super run down and kinda shabby, filled with people who matched the decor." She said thinking on it. "At least where I lived that was the case." She looked down at the pubs sign and snorted. "You know, I saw that on the way in too, I have no earthly clue how you guys…I guess I should say,"how we" stay a secret, with things like that hanging out there." She said happily.
"People see what they want to see," Harry said shrugging, "They see a pub they assume its a pub, it doesn't hurt they don't want to see magic, nor does it hurt they have concealment charms up all over this place."
They sat in companionable silence for a time, eventually Kara spoke up, again her eyes taking in his somewhat ragged and exhausted exterior. "So how are you taking being back Harry, really, I know it can't be as easy as you'd want me to think." She pointed out.
He laughed bitterly. "I really look that bad?" Then sighed, and nodded shortly. "Not good, but it could always be worse, I'd really rather not think to hard about it okay?" He requested.
"All right, then what do you want to do? What are you doing here?" She asked a little more business-like.
"Anything else, literally anything that doesn't require me to remember." He said seriously his eyes darting about, avoiding her face.
She nodded understanding a little better, "How about we go shopping then? I got some basic supplies back in Newark but I need some others," She explained matter-of-fact. "How about you?"
He nodded, "I've got a shopping list, wands, holsters, clothing food, books," He agreed, glad she had managed to get him back on task now that his thoughts had mostly settled with only the occasional whispers of Grim Reaper or The Mission. "Then that's what we'll do, we can hit the wand shop first its right there." She said pointing down the alley. Harry got up and brushed idly at non-existent lint or dust. And gestured for her to lead the way. He noticed she only had one bag.
"You want me to take your bag?" He asked extending a hand.
She smiled and handed it to him, possible suspecting feeling useful would help a bit. "Sure, thanks, you're a proper English gentleman." She said gratefully, shrugging off the small duffle and handing it to Harry, who lifted it onto his own shoulder and pushed it behind his back.
They walked in silence after that, until they reached the wand shop. The old gentleman looked up as they entered his shop. He was fiddling with a dowel of unidentified wood, but he lit up and smiled when he saw who it was. "Ah, Master Potter, how may I help you today?" He asked happily. "Your wand still serving you well?" He asked as he always did.
"It's as perfect as ever. I was wondering though, I've found in some of my…miss adventures that I sometimes get disarmed. I was hoping to get backups for me and my companion here." Harry said leaning a little on the edge of the counter. "I'll be paying for both." He said ahead of time. Kara shot him a look which promised him a chastising remark later.
"Not a problem at all, you're definitely right about being in need of a good back up then." Garrick Ollivander agreed. "I already know what kinds of wands are predisposed towards you. But I would like a little history about your companion so I can find her something." He said dropping rapidly into his professional self.
"My name is Kara Smith, I'm from one of the independent covens in New Jersey, I have a good wand, but not a lot of solid education in magic," Kara noted.
"Really, and American are ye'? May I see you use your current wand?" He requested. Kara nodded agreeably drawing a long black wooded wand with a steel handle and blue leather grip. She swished it experimentally and a glow suffused the air around her. She made a simple slashing motion. "Protego," She murmured and a shield briefly flashed into existence between her and them, before flashing out again.
Ollivander smiled, "Quite wonderful, may I see the wand…hmmm finely crafted, very fine indeed, I did not know such a maker existed in America, black cypress, so solid not springy, metal handle with silver intaglio and filigree, what kind of core is it?" He asked admiring the work of another craftsman before handing it back. "And clearly well tuned to you. I could only feel the barest hint of magic from it, and I had to probe hard to find even that. But clearly it works."
"The core is Thestral hair." She said, obviously pleased by the master wand makers approval. Harry considered her thoughtfully, he wondered who had given her a wand in the first place, the Angels? If so that made it likely that the wand was more special than she let on. He'd have to ask about it later.
"Thestral huh? Reliable that, good for fighting wands, hmmm let me see what I can find for you two." He said and hurried off excitedly into the stacks.
Harry leaned towards her slightly and murmured "Thestral? You get that from Ezekiel?" He asked curious. She chuckled in response.
"Angel Hair actually, my own, that's why it only works for me, and yes it is from Ezekiel actually." She agreed, smiling crookedly while murmuring under her breath.
Ollivander came back. Harry's backup proved easy to find, a simple very straight, plain steel handled black thorn wand with a Dragon Heartstring core which responded nicely to him.
Kara's was harder. Three wand attempts later and Ollivander was cursing Veela hair for being so temperamental, when one of his experiments blew up a vase. He hurried back into the stacks, and Kara leaned back in.
"Black cypress too, from the true cross," She said, and chuckled when he gave a start. "No more sacred than any other piece of wood technically, but it's a touchstone for me to hold on to you know?" She asked.
He nodded understanding. He wished he had something similar, he could use a touch of the hereafter, to remind him what was out there.
Ollivander returned a little hesitantly, a minute later, with a fine crafted ebony case. "I made this wand custom for a patron but it didn't end up taking to him, used some materials I don't usually use. It's iron wood, with a steel and black leather grip, the core is a Phoenix feather. Do you wish to give it a whirl?" He asked handing it over. Kara got a similar if slightly lesser reaction to that her Angelic wand provided, and Ollivander sighed in relief. "Excellent, I think we've finally got a winner. Do you want anything else today?" He asked. They purchased a pair of standard holsters for them and wandered out of the shop, after paying for the lot of it.
Harry had to be careful for the next side trip they made, it took them down Knockturn, to find some more muggle style clothing and a pair of wrist holsters. "You know you didn't have to pay for me," She said after he repeated the act at the stores down Knockturn. "I've got money of my own,"
"Maybe so, but I'm betting it's not much, an emergency fund of some sort, also I just found out I have more than enough, so I don't mind throwing a little around to help a friend," He noted simply and shrugged. She sighed but let it drop for the moment, they made their way about Diagon for about another half hour before they headed up to Harry's room. "You can stay with me, no point in paying for two rooms, I'll sleep on the couch." He said in a tone that brooked no argument.
But once inside and settled, Kara noticed Harry was starting to get that wary and caged look in his eyes again. "Harry, you're going odd on me, what can I do to help?" She asked urgently, crouching in front of where he was sitting on the couch.
He considered for a moment. "Just talk, about anything, doesn't matter what." He suggested. "Any chance I can convince you to share a little?" He asked cautiously. "I won't push if you tell me to back off, it's just we're working together are we not?" He pointed out.
She sighed and shuddered a little. "Yeah, sure, just don't tell anyone else about the stuff I tell you, unless I say so okay?" She decided wringing her hands a little nervously. He nodded immediately making her feel better. "Okay, how about a little history, how I was before I died? I was in a really bad way back then. That was twelve years ago Afterlife time, but only about a year ago normal time, at least back where I was. I was basically whoring, okay, and I mean that more literally than I wish I was, sex for money, or booze or drugs, and I ended up with a bad boyfriend. I didn't want to believe he was a bad guy, he could be charming at times." She confessed. "But he was rotten, he assaulted me, yes that way, got me boozed and stoned and then left me in the woods when it was over. I stumbled around for hours trying to find my way home. I stumbled out onto the street while like that. I got hit by some poor sucker driving his kids to school in the morning. None of them were hurt but he had my death on his conscience even if it wasn't his fault, not in any way I ever heard about." She continued.
"He had to get counselling for months before he started to get over hitting the poor little lost girl as he thought of me. I convinced Ezekiel to send a blessing or two to the guy for being so sympathetic to me. None of my family were, they said at the funeral that they'd always known I'd come to a bad end. And that they were sure I was burning in hell." She continued sourly. "Should have just stayed away, but you're curious you know? The next day I got to go before the big G himself," She smiled and offered a shrug "I was terrified, who wouldn't be right? But he said he was glad to see me, but that he was sorry about the circumstances, he gave me a hug, I couldn't believe it. God himself was hugging me. The filthy little gutter girl from Newark." She said smiling fondly. "It's not known by all the religions out there, but God is our literal parent. He's the father of our souls." She explained soberly. "I met Heavenly mother once too. She's just as wonderful as him, exactly as a parent should be. "Sorry you sinned, but we still love you, and want you to do better." She shook her head disbelievingly, Harry listened to the story in awe. The little voices in his head blissfully silent. "They talk about sitting before the judgment seat like it's a court room. For me, it was a swinging chair out under a tree, outside a house on the beach. He sat next to me, and we just…talked. Mother came out occasionally with food and drinks. I didn't realize it at the time but we sat there for three days without a break, just talking over everything. God's house is different even from the rest of the afterlife, He told me to come visit anytime I needed to. I went there every evening, Proof that time isn't normal there? He has time for everyone." She chuckled as she remembered. "It was a serious beat down in some ways of course, you can't hide from what you've done, you can't lie, even to yourself, but he's not angry, he's not even particularly disappointed, he's sad that you failed here and there, but he's happier that you're there with him." She said a little tear escaping the corner of her eye. "He was so happy to see me whenever I dropped by, like the sun rose and set on me. I met Jesus himself once too, big bro, he's just as good as G-man, if a little more prone to bouts of humour. And of course the dog, never found out his name, I should have, who knew huh? God's a dog person," She pointed out laughing.
"It made what I went through…worth it some how, its weird to say, considering how horrible it was what I went through. But it was unlike anything else, ever, for me. I know it may not sound like your vision of heaven but for me it was perfect." She explained.
"It sounds pretty good actually, never thought about some of those things. God's a dog person…Huh," Harry noted thinking that over. "And he's our father?" he had never considered exactly where souls came from.
"Yeah, It's weird because, as much as I wouldn't give up my visits there for anything, you still want to come back here, even though it's not perfect, strange right? One day any soul who's not in outer darkness after Judgment Day can have a place like that, and not be stuck in limbo forever. But I still wanted to come back here. Where there's sin, and muck and grime, and imperfection. Does that make any sense to you?" She asked.
Harry shrugged. "All I really know is this place, as horrible as it can be sometimes, I still love it. I still love the people, maybe that's it? I still love the places, heck I still love the grime too. I think you're right to still want to be here." He said.
"Figured you'd understand" She said smiling and giving him a one armed hug of encouragement.
"You know dying isn't quite so scary when you tell me about that. I mean the process sucks, but the destination isn't so bad. I guess the worst part of my last death was that I couldn't save Hermione," He said thinking on it. The voices in his head chittered a little, but quieted soon after.
"You're pretty close with her aren't you?" Kara asked, looking him over.
Harry smiled fondly. "Yeah, she's my best friend, bar none," He said. "Ron was my "best mate" you know the guy you do guy stuff with whatever the hell that is." He said frowning a little, "But she was my best friend, the one who'd always be there for me no matter what, who always tried to have an answer for me and who always had time for me, even when I was at my worst, like I was when I went through fifth year the first time. Smart, and even though she doesn't mean to be, funny too. I remember, now looking back that is, how angry I was whenever Ron would run her down, or treat her badly, but at the time I couldn't focus on it, it kept being pushed aside, I assume that was the potions?" He noted and she nodded in agreement.
"Pretty?" Kara asked casually.
Harry thought about it. "I remember thinking she looked like you imagine a goddess should look like, when I saw her in that dress for the Yule ball in fourth year." He said. "You know one of the classier Greek or Roman ones like Athena, except without the battle armour." He said chuckling, he couldn't imagine Hermione in armour. "Normally, I'd be willing to describe her as pretty," he agreed shrugging. "She just usually didn't have time to put any effort into being more than that, Hermione. Not that she really needed it by my estimation. She doesn't really think of herself as good looking, maybe that's why she settled for Ron, with the potions dragging her down…" He speculated sadly.
"You know, your file has a whole section devoted just to her?" Kara noted smiling. "You're right she is pretty, even without makeup, she's a spitfire from the parts I read, won't let you get away with anything?" She asked.
Harry snorted. "No, and she's right to step in usually." He noted. "Me and Ron did some seriously stupid things over the years…" He said smiling then trailing off and paling a bit, a cold sweat starting on his back. "I remember how I felt when I heard her screaming cut out all of the sudden." He murmured. "Somehow I just knew, down deep to my bones that she was suddenly gone. I heard the murmuring, and somehow felt that they were surprised when she died. I remember just having to get to her to try and bring her back." He recalled rocking a little in his seat.
"I remember when I first saw her lying there, her eyes open but empty, that spark of intelligence and life gone." He said his voice weakening and becoming uneven. "I saw the masked Death Eater I never identified, with his hand at her throat checking for a pulse, and Bellatrix angry that she'd killed her prisoner. And I snapped I just wanted to hurt them so badly for doing that to her. I've never fought like that before, not even against Voldemort himself. I was unstoppable, Nothing she did could touch me, not while I was trying to avenge Hermione. I hit her in the chest with a curse that shattered her ribcage, Bellatrix that is, and then I finished her with another to the head. Then I turned back to try and save Hermione. But it was too late, she was already dead and gone." He said his voice failing for a moment. "And bloody Ron just wanted to run. To leave her like she was nothing. I told him I was staying that if he wanted to stand and fight I wouldn't turn away his help but that I wasn't going anywhere. The coward ran, Dobby wanted to stay but I ordered him away. It wasn't right for the little guy to die too. I waited with her in my arms until they started apparating in. I don't know where from. And I looked at her to fuel my rage again, and I went for them again. I wasn't as invincible as I was the time against Bellatrix but I was too much for them. I remember killing them all and coming away with only a couple cuts and bruises. Voldemort was a different matter. I don't know what he's done but he's so many orders of magnitude beyond even Bellatrix…" he murmured.
Here Kara interrupted. "Black magics and pacts with the devil. I don't know the details, so don't ask, but as we've been giving you nudges, the devils been strengthening him." She explained.
He nodded thoughtfully, sweating, then continued. "Felt my own heart falter as that creature tortured me for the last time. He seemed to know he had won, he was practically giddy, just about singing as he basked in his victory. And I just looked to Hermione that whole time, praying she'd get up and escape even if I didn't. But she didn't and one last time I was filled with the need to avenge her. I was weak and lying across Bellatrix, her wand within reach, I grabbed it and threw every last ounce of magic, and hate, and hurt for my friend I had at Voldemort and I said a curse I didn't even know I knew. Pulvisad Pulverum." He said thoughtfully.
"I know what it means, I know enough Latin from spell work to translate it roughly, Dust to Dust. I just wanted him reduced to nothing, to be nothing. And I instinctively knew how to do it. And…" He choked. "I couldn't have cared less that I'd managed to kill him, even if I took him by surprise, I could only think about her in that final minute or so, I go to her lying her head on my lap as I died lying there against the wall." He mumbled. "And I just wanted her back. I would have traded anything to not lose her too."
Kara shook him a little grabbing his hand. "But you're here, now, you can stop that from happening, this Node isn't lost yet, you win this and she's safe too. You don't have to worry anymore after that." Kara assured.
"I will always worry about her. How can I not, with gits like Ron around to try and bring her down? But you're right, I'm here to change things, and I will, change them, one thing at a time, and she will make it if I have to die killing Voldemort as the Prophesy suggested, I mean, I've got a bloody fragment of him in my head, but if I go he's going with me." He said determined.
Kara wasn't sure that was a good attitude. "We'll find a way to get that thing gone without you dying too. There are ways, I know that much," She promised.
He wiped idly at the tears coming from his eyes. "Then lets get to work and make that a reality shall we?" He suggested. He noticed Kara didn't like the idea of losing him again, couldn't blame her, after all how much work had she done to keep him going? Regardless, if I have to die to save Hermione, I'll do it.
—
Hermione was sitting on the lowest steps of the stairs between the first and second floor of Number 12 Grimmauld place. "And you said it was that locket we've seen around the place?" She asked Ginny looking concerned at the palm of the other girls hand.
"Yeah the damn thing burned me when I picked it up not paying attention," Ginny noted sourly. "Mum, cleaned it and healed it until Madeye did a curse scan on it, nothing just the burn," She said.
"Well that's lucky, honestly Ginny, you need to be more careful, this place is a death trap," Hermione noted darkly. Ginny was about to say something but was interrupted by the murmur of approaching voices.
"I'm telling you Albus, it's not right leaving the boy there, he clearly hates it and is going a bit stir crazy. I know what that feels like, it's not a feeling I much care for." Sirius growled irritably. "And now that someone's setting Dementors on him? Dung would never have been a match for them even had he been there,"
Dumbledore's voice came back from just around the corner from the two girls. "It just so happens I agree with you Sirius, but it will take time before arrangements to move him safely can be made," The Headmaster argued, Hermione thought reasonably.
"Dumbledore, I could be there and back with him and his things in five minutes flat," Sirius argued.
"And you could be recognized and bring down even more Dementors down on the boy," Dumbledore returned tiredly.
Sirius took a breath to continue arguing, but just then a clatter arose at the front door, drawing everyone in the vicinities attention to it. Finally, the last lock popped and Tonks barrelled in barely pausing to close the door behind her.
"Dumbledore?" She called, she nearly tripped on the rug as she made her way forward. "Lor' luv a duck!" She growled looking anxious.
Hermione, didn't think she'd ever seen Tonks looking this serious before, the normally boisterous, clumsy and affable woman now looked utterly focused.
"Dumbledore," She said marching past the two girls to the old man. "Harry's gone," She said urgently.
"What?" Barked Sirius, "What do you mean gone?"
"Where's Harry?" Yelped Hermione, then clapped a hand over her mouth, she'd just given away that she'd been listening in.
She got a rueful glance from the adults, but they just refocused almost immediately after. "I 'adn't seen Harry all shift, you know 'ow regular da lad is doin' 'is routine fer those bastard relatives ov 'is. So I got concerned, I checked around seein' if I could catch a sign ov 'im, no go so I wen' in lookin' fer 'im,." She scowled at Dumbledore's disapproving look. "He's gone Dumbledore, packed just about everythin' in 'is room and took it all wiv 'im, 'e's in da wind." She reported urgently, willing him to understand. "I 'ave no bloody idea where 'e is."
And for the first time Hermione recalled she saw the Headmaster pale, he whirled about to Sirius, "Send messages to every full member of the Order, tell them to muster here at once," He said firmly. "We need to find Harry, before his enemies do,"