Beneath The Surface

by MyBella

One summer, an internship in Africa, bloodlust, sharp teeth, and a boatload of fear are all that stand in the way of Bella Cullen landing a job at the Atlanta Aquarium - As long as she doesn't count cocky shark expert Edward Masen on her list.

37. 37 Tsunami of Emotion

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Stephenie Meyer owns anything and everything relating to Twilight. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended and in order to keep it that way, No reproduction, copying, reposting, downloading, or any kind of redistribution of this story is allowed. This is to cover my arse as much as yours! And finally, the Original characters, plot, names, nicknames, songs, poems—anything I created from my very own brain—are all the property of the author of this fanfic, My-Bella. Unauthorized use of the material is plagiarism so please be kind and don't steal my creations.

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A/N: As a special treat for your patience, we're posting again! Thank you all so much for sticking with us on this story and for all the support! A special thanks to hope4more for this chapter's title ;) And one more special thanks to frostedglaze for giving us a great theory for Guppy to share with Masen!

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Chapter 37 – Tsunami of Emotion

Monday, July 14th

Alice's POV

The sound of her alarm going off had Alice groaning and reaching a hand out from under her covers to silence the annoying contraption. She would have loved nothing more than sleeping in late but that would mean not getting to see Bella and Whit one last time to wish them good luck. She didn't bother changing out of her pajamas since she had every intention of crawling right back into bed once they were gone.

She checked Bella's room first and found it as empty as it had been last night. She'd tried to say her goodbyes last night to avoid getting up early but Bella had stayed out on the beach with Masen. As for Whit, his door had been locked and he hadn't answered when she'd knocked. Honestly, Whit and Bella were really taking all of this too far. Alice considered what had happened to be an honest mistake and she was more than willing to apologize as soon as she saw them.

She didn't see anyone on the patio so she headed downstairs to where Whit was staying. The door was wide open and the room was empty. She scratched her head as she headed back upstairs, wondering if she'd accidentally snoozed her alarm. It would certainly explain why the bedrooms were already empty.

The front door opened and Alice hurried over expecting to see her sister only to find Esme following Lizzy into the house instead. "Are they loading the truck?" Alice asked, stepping back to avoid the rambunctious dog.

Esme shook her head. "No, I'm afraid it's just Lizzy and me. The team left over an hour ago."

Alice's eyes widened from shock. "What? Why would they do that? Why would they change the time like that?"

Esme looked up from the leash she'd been trying to take off. "Whit and Masen had a lot on their minds and were unable to sleep. They asked the others if it would be alright to get an earlier start and the team agreed."

Her frustration came out as a loud huff. "Just great. I get up early just to wish them luck and they aren't here."

"Alice, sweetheart, I'm not trying to be cruel here but did you honestly expect that they'd want to talk to you this morning?"

Her eyes narrowed from the outrage she felt. "I thought you were Switzerland."

"Neutrality doesn't mean I'm blind to right and wrong. And just so we're clear, if I wasn't being Switzerland, this wouldn't be the polite conversation that we are having right now."

There was no point in talking to this woman. She was Masen's mother so of course she was going to be in his corner. They were all in his corner—well except for her uncle. "Where's my uncle?"

"Sleeping. Which he will continue to do until he's ready to wake."

There also seemed to be no point in arguing with Esme so Alice huffed in annoyance and headed back to her room.

It was as she was leaning against the closed door that she spotted the envelope on her dresser, her name written in block capital letters. There was no reason for it, and she felt stupid even admitting it to herself, but the sight of that white envelope chilled her.

Determined not to be riled by a stupid piece of paper, she snatched the envelope from the dresser and climbed into bed with it. It wasn't sealed so it was easy to pull out the folded pages tucked inside. She recognized the handwriting as Whit's.

Alice,

I wanted to write this as a voice of reason, as a way to help you help yourself. But I'm not feeling reasonable or helpful right now. I'm feeling like a guy who's angry and hurt, and who's no longer sure of what he is to you.

When I first started dreaming of you, I thought maybe it was my subconscious telling me to date more, to meet new people and explore the world more. But then you kept coming and you felt more real every time until I just knew. I knew you were real. I knew you were everything I wanted in a woman. I didn't mind knowing that you'd wake me up early to do volunteer work. Or that you'd bribe me with kisses to go shoe shopping with you. Even your need to talk during sporting events was bearable. Not because I'm a pushover, but because you seemed worth it. You seemed just as willing to put up with all of my flaws as I was to accept yours.

And then you were here. Standing right in front of me. Proof that I wasn't just losing my mind and dreaming of the impossible. It was a rocky start but how could it not be with your sister hurt and surrounded by strangers. Then you find out we're helping her to be near sharks and that added an extra layer of difficulty to it all.

In the past week, I'd really thought things were turning around. You seemed to be taking your role with MMR seriously and I felt you were trying hard to support Bella. I also felt you and I were falling in love in the here and now with who we really are rather than the best versions of us from our dreams. My leg didn't seem to be an issue at all and you talked as though you had no problem with my role with MMR. I absolutely believed you loved me and wanted a future with me. And I felt the same—one hundred percent.

But now I just don't know. I don't know that I can trust anything with you. Twice now you've made it seem like you were ready to give Masen a fair chance, and to support your sister despite not liking her choices. And now here we are tonight with my best friend hurt, your sister feeling both hurt and pissed, and me unsure about my feelings for you while feeling so hurt by you.

I don't know how to phrase this any other way so I'm just going to say it. Hurting people to get what you want is the worst kind of selfishness there is. You had to know that purposefully hurting Masen would hurt me. If you say you didn't, then you're saying you haven't paid any attention to me. I've told you how important Masen is to me, talked about the thousands of small and big ways in which he's helped shape the man I am and the one I'm on my way to becoming. He saved more than my physical life, Alice. I know I've made that clear to you.

But let's just say for a moment that I didn't make it clear, that you were going strictly off of what you've seen of Masen. Alice, there's still no way you could honestly think so low of him. You've seen how he is with his family and you've seen how deeply he cares for your sister. You told me yourself that you were starting to see the kind side of him. But maybe that was just another lie meant to get you what you wanted. Do you even know why you did this to him? Do you know why you hurt him and tried to use him to hurt your sister? My guess is you're so focused on having your sister where you want her that you've never stopped for even a fraction of a second to ask yourself why. Honestly, I'm not even sure I can believe you care about your sister at this point.

I hate admitting this, but I almost wish Masen had been an ass just so there'd be some excuse for what you did. But he had done nothing to you. Absolutely nothing. It was even his idea for a family day when he could have so easily spent his day off alone with Bella. Your attack on him was completely unprovoked. You hurt him as a way to put doubt in your sister's head and to ultimately get your way and get her home. All you've accomplished is alienating yourself from everyone—especially me.

I don't want you to feel blackmailed because that's not what I'm doing. I'm making my feelings clear and you are free to do with that whatever you want. Masen is important to me, Alice. He's my brother and he will always be a huge part of my life. And since I've already done the self-centered girlfriend who refused to give Masen a fair chance, I refuse to repeat that experience. I'm not saying you have to be his best friend. Friendship is optional and a fifty-fifty commitment by you and him. But you damn sure can't continue trying to demonize him. He hasn't done anything to earn that treatment. In fact, he's done all he can to keep things peaceful and calm. Like I said, I'm not telling you that you have to like him. I'm just saying you have to accept him as part of loving me. You can't love me and hate him.

I feel such a mix of hurt and anger over your accusation. Any person making even a half-assed attempt would have asked who Angela was rather than immediately jump to the conclusion that Masen would cheat on Bella. I wonder if you would have asked if I had been with you, if I could have set you straight and saved both Masen and Bella from being hurt. You still would have hurt me by accusing him of something so wrong, but at least I'd know they are absolutely okay and safe from whatever reason you have for wanting to divide them. But I wasn't there and you made a choice that hurt me. I hate feeling this way and I am pissed at you for causing it. Yet I'm also hoping you'll fix things. For real. Permanently.

Alice, trust me when I say that Masen's love for Bella is the real deal. He's never been this way with any woman before, this involved and determined to have a relationship outside of work. Your sister is one hell of a woman and Masen saw that in her from their very first meeting. I know Masen is rough around the edges. I know he's logical to his own detriment, sometimes coming off like a complete ass rather than the big hearted guy he really is. Your first day here, you saw him as a jerk for making you get off of Bella's bed. You completely missed the worry he was feeling for how close you came to accidentally sitting on her injured leg. He didn't sleep for days while watching over her, doing any little thing he could to protect her from the discomfort and pain of her injury. You saw a controlling man while we all saw a man trying to control the hurt—hers and his. He felt incredibly guilty over her injury even though he'd done everything right and was not culpable for what happened. He felt that way because he loves her. He's really in love and that's not something he believed he would have for himself. Ever. As thrilled as I am to see him this way, I equally feel the need to protect his heart and his relationship from anyone who might hurt them.

What I want more than anything, Alice, is to be in the life of the woman from my dreams. The one who is kind and loyal, who puts others before herself. The one with the silly laugh and the gorgeous smile. That woman is the twin to my soul and a life with her will be the most amazing adventure any man could ever hope to enjoy. I hope you really are her. I hope you can find a way to bring her out and leave behind the angry person you've been. I'm in love with her and I want to build a future with her.

Saying goodbye isn't something I want to do but it's the only conclusion there can be if your mindset doesn't change. It won't be easy to do but one thing I've learned is that most of the right choices are the toughest. To be honest, I'm a little scared I've already fallen too far to ever truly get over you. But I'll give it my all if I have to. I deserve to be happy as much as you do and I can't be happy with you hurting my best friend and plotting against your sister, another good friend of mine. Alice, please take this letter as the plea for change that it is truly meant to be. You will lose so much more than me if you keep on this way. You'll lose your sister. You can't want that, not if you really love her. You have to make peace with her choices, both personally and professionally, or you have to go home. You have six days to decide once and forever who you want in your life. Whatever you decide, I wish you nothing but the best.

Alice felt sick to her stomach. She had known Whit was upset with her but she'd never imagined he'd feel this level of hurt over yesterday's mistake. She tried to picture Lee accusing Bella to see if she could understand his feelings but her imagination wasn't that strong—Bella was too loyal, making it impossible to imagine her as a cheater.

That day in Masen's office came to mind, after Bella had hurt her wrist and Alice had been so sure he was using her sister as an experiment to enhance his own career. She had been absolutely furious and convinced she would never be a-okay with him being anywhere near her sister. But that too had been a mistake because his decision to remove Bella from her spotter position had been a needed break. After she'd gotten a rest, she'd gone from background work to being on the little boat photographing breaches. Although that had been a disaster of its own and had caused Bella to avoid the water yesterday morning. Which just served to make Alice feel twice as confused because if Bella was too scared to swim with her "team", then why was she going back to the beach where she'd been stung and scarred by a ray?

Alice realized her thoughts had deviated completely away from Whit and his feelings. She was honestly upset that she'd hurt his feelings and she did want to understand the how and why so she could fix things with him. It made her sick to her stomach to know he was questioning if she loved him. She loved everything about him—well almost everything. The chocolate in the pillow thing was really weird and potentially sticky and gross. But other than that, he was completely amazing. He had a fun sense of humor … he was romantic … and his smile was the absolute best—it always made her smile and feel happy when she saw it.

Alice got up from the bed hoping to expel some of her frustrated energy by walking around her room. She found herself asking aloud one of the questions from Whit's letter. "Why was my first thought that Masen was sneaking off for sex?"

She tried to remember exactly what she'd been feeling and thinking about him before she'd seen him get that hug. "I don't think Masen is completely awful. And he does seem sometimes like he's over the moon about Bella. But way more often he's bossing her around and she's never let a guy do that to her before. I don't like how her personality is different around him.

"And I definitely don't think it's a-okay for him to claim he's in love with her and yet I still haven't seen him make even one romantic gesture for her. Sure, he held her hand while we were walking around yesterday but that's something all new couples tend to do. Where are the flowers? Or at least a romantic dinner that's just for the two of them? How can you claim to love someone when you've never even been on a date with them?

"I'll admit Whit and I haven't gone on an official date yet, but we've had plenty in our dreams, and we've had plenty of romantic alone time in our room on the boat. Sure, Masen's been alone with Bella in her room and his room, but we all know they aren't doing anything. He's been all too happy to let people know he's not touching my sister until the internship is over, which makes zero sense to me. In my experiences, love has always been way more of a daily mind distraction than sex. But maybe guys don't work that way? I'll ask Whit."

She stopped mid-step and clutched her stomach, revolted by the worry that had immediately popped into her head. "What if he never talks to me again?"

Her pacing started back up, her feet speeding up to catch up with her whirling thoughts. "How did this all go from Masen being a bossy beast to me being the root of all evil? So I was wrong yesterday. That's a good thing if they think about it. And it was a mistake. Everybody makes them. Even the bossy beast has had to apologize a couple times.

"But when does he do the bossing? Specifically, when does he boss my sister around? I want to say all the time but now that I'm thinking about it, all the times he's done it have been when they're working. She's actually the bossier one when they're just hanging out. That day we worked in pairs she did her baked bacon thing even after he'd won their coin toss."

She shook her head to dismiss that last bit. "But Bella doesn't really know him. She hasn't been part of his little team for that long."

She stopped, having realized her use of "little team" and how that was belittling something her sister considered important.

Alice plopped down onto the edge of her bed, not liking this new feeling of guilt one little bit. She had never before treated anything important to Bella as a trivial thing and she hated to admit she was doing it now.

"Back to the original question," she said, forcing her mind to swing away from her guilt and back to Masen. "From everything I've learned through our dreams and our time together, I know without a doubt that Whit wouldn't be best friends with a guy who treated women disrespectfully. He's not one to let other people tell him how to think or feel either so what he says about Masen is what he believes to be true. He sees him as a loyal friend, a guy committed to his family, someone who is generous with his money and his time, and as someone who is completely in love with my sister. So why don't I see him as any of those things?"

Alice knew that last question she'd posed to herself was the question to answer. Once she knew the exact reason for her dislike of Masen, then she could start taking steps to change her opinion of him. Unfortunately, her mind was a complete blank.

Panic draped itself over her like a heavy cloak, the same feeling she always had before walking into an important test no matter how much she'd studied the material. But this was so much worse than a test, so much more important. Her future with Whit and her relationship with her sister were at stake and she only had six days to unravel the complete mess her life had suddenly become. Six days to figure it out or lose the people who mattered most.

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Thursday, July 17th

Masen grinned at the sound of the footsteps, knowing the flat-footed slapping pattern belonged to Whit. He stepped back from the chart table and took a moment to stretch his arms over his head and then behind his back, all the while listening to the noise coming from the kitchen.

It wasn't long before his friend came around the corner carrying a steaming cup of coffee in each hand.

"I put milk and not sugar," Whit informed him as he handed a cup over. "Your ass is going to be jittery enough today without it."

Masen snorted. "What makes you think I'm going to be jittery?"

"Bella's getting in the water for the first time with us and it's happening where she was hurt by a ray. Of course you're going to be nervous and extra protective. Hell man, I'm a little worried myself. Not because I doubt Bella for a second, but just because I know how much is weighing on today. Bella needs a great experience in the water. She needs the confidence boost it's gonna give her. Plus, there's a really good chance it could rekindle her love of being in the water."

He agreed whole-heartedly with his friend. "I want to help her achieve those things, Whit. I want her to end this day feeling proud and ready for more. I know this isn't going to fix her fear of sharks, but fixing her fear of the water in general, that's a leap forward she needs."

"No argument here, bro." Whit sipped at his coffee for a moment and then asked, "Anything you want to discuss? Any options you want to go over one last time?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've been over the assignment sheet a hundred times and there's nothing I want to change about it, but I still have this nagging feeling."

"That's not your plan. That's your heart. It's normal to be apprehensive, Mase. Just keep in mind the odds of her getting hurt again are pretty damn thin."

He frowned into his coffee, struggling to correctly explain his non-logical thoughts. "I know and I know all the other facts, but the facts have a way of not meaning a damn thing when it comes to her."

"What worries you most?"

"Her getting hurt. The physical pain is bad enough to watch her go through, but seeing the doubt in herself and the anxiety over what her uncle and sister will feel and think about her getting injured again … If it happens, there's nothing I can do to fix it. All I have is one shot, one chance to make sure she has a great experience and comes out of the water unharmed."

"You're putting a shitload of pressure on yourself thinking that way, Mase."

He nodded in agreement. "What else can I do though?"

"Have you tried talking to Bella? Maybe making a worst case plan with her? If X happens, then we agree to do Y. Maybe knowing the next step will make it easier for both of you to relax and not be so anxious of an accident happening. And again, I really don't think there's anything to be worried about. It's a simple dive, only an hour long. And it's just going to be photos. No sample gathering."

Masen blew out a breath while considering his friend's suggestions. He wasn't sure a plan was the right way to go; he worried Bella would see that as an expectation of trouble and it would make her confidence waiver. Then again, knowing he had his own reservations might give her a boost, prove to her that any anxiety she felt was natural.

With a nod to himself, Masen made his decision. "I'll pull her aside after the morning meeting for one last check-in before we do this."

"Make sure you remind her we'll have radios to warn each other if we should see a ray or eel."

"Yeah, that's a good idea too."

"So what's all this?" Whit asked, walking up to the chart table covered in photographs.

"One of the travel mags we sell photos to saw on our website where we are and asked if we'd be interested in selling a few photos of the town and the seals. I figured the penguins would be a good touch since not a lot of people know about them."

"So what's the trouble?"

"Why do you assume there's trouble?"

"Because your arms are crossed and you're glaring at them like they personally offended you."

Masen had to laugh at that, especially since it wasn't too far off from the truth. "I have to pick six and this is the best I can do."

"Six from ten isn't bad." Whit turned his head and grinned at him. "How many did you start with?"

He tried to resist but he just couldn't control the nervous tick and he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Not a lot."

Whit dug his elbow into Masen's upper arm. "Be honest, bro."

"Twenty-two," Masen admitted before covering his smile by enjoying some of his coffee.

"Perfectionist mode and you're jittery. Gonna be a long day with your ass."

Masen rolled his eyes at that, doubting he was going to be that bad today. "You're not always the easiest person to be around yourself."

"Yeah, well …"

Masen didn't want to press, trying to be a good friend and let Whit have his space. He'd let him know when he was ready to talk. But the waiting was damn hard and getting worse every day. Masen hated not knowing what his friend was thinking, how badly he might be hurting, and if there was anything Masen could do to help make things better.

His coffee cup was nearly empty when Whit turned around with the chosen pictures in his hand. The one on top was the one Bella had taken at Seal Island and it immediately had Masen smiling. It also had him thinking in a way he never had before.

"You gonna give her credit on this one?" Whit asked, tapping the edge of the photo. "I mean, I know MMR gets watermarked on them all but I think it would be cool to credit her as the photographer."

Masen took the photo from the pile and rather than give some professional reason for not using it, he told Whit exactly how he was feeling. "I don't want to sell this one. I want to keep it for myself."

"So why did you have it out in the first place?"

"Because I was on the fence about it until I saw it in the final selection pile. I know it makes good financial and business sense to get it out there, but I don't want to commercialize it."

Whit snorted. "Possessive much?"

"It's not a possession thing," Masen argued. "It just feels wrong. Like I'd be sharing a private piece of her with strangers. I know in my head it's perfectly logical to sell this one. But in my heart … This is my kapu's photo, not my intern."

"Edward Masen not only falling in love, but letting his heart overrule his head. I feel like I should check outside for pigs flying."

Masen rolled his eyes and mumbled "fucking nudger".

"Whatever," Whit said with another snort as he turned back toward the table. "Besides, it'll look better in your office back home than in any magazine anyway."

Masen pictured the photo on the wall and couldn't resist grinning over it. He'd put it right between his favorite picture of Lizzy and the picture of the team standing on Galeos for the first time.

"I'm thinking maybe I'm ready to talk," Whit announced, still facing the table.

"I'm ready to listen," Masen promised.

"I wrote Alice a letter that night and dropped it in her room before we left. I was still pretty angry when I wrote it, but the hurt was definitely starting to outweigh the anger. I started off trying to explain my hurt but I think I ended up giving her an ultimatum instead." He finally turned around to face his friend. "I know exactly how quickly my life can be taken away and I don't want to waste a second of it on a woman who isn't right for me."

Masen chose his words carefully, not wanting to cause Whit any more pain. "Do you know for sure she's not?"

"No," he answered with a shake of his head. "But I don't think she knows either."

"I wish I could fix this for you. I would in a heartbeat, you know."

"I know, Mase. But this isn't for you to fix. I know you feel responsible but you really aren't. You tried all you could to reach out to Alice and she just didn't want to make a real connection with you. It was easier for her to make you the big bad in her life."

"Do you think she really wants to ruin Bella's progress?"

"I think Alice doesn't know what she wants. I think she's got some resentment towards her sister she doesn't want to face and we all know she has big fears when it comes to sharks and any open body of water. I think maybe she's also scared of her life drastically changing from Bella's progress and not having any control over it. She's already experienced her life completely changing while she had zero control. My gut tells me she doesn't want to go through that again."

"Have you thought about what you need from her for things to be okay between the two of you?"

"Some. But this is one of those things where it won't do me any good to think about it or worry over it. Everything hinges on what she says when we get home."

"Look, if she makes things right with Bella and you, don't worry about her attitude with me. I can take it."

Whit lifted an eyebrow at him.

"What the hell are you giving me the eyebrow for?"

"Because while I appreciate the sentiment behind what you said, you shouldn't have to 'take it'. You haven't done anything to Alice to justify the way she treats you."

"I know, but it's not about justifying anything. It's about making things better for you and for Bella."

Whit grinned. "Love the loyalty, bro, but we're a package deal, you and me. If Alice wants to be in my life, then she has to accept you're a big part of it and that you're not going anywhere."

"Wanna pinkie swear on it?" Masen asked, holding his pinkie finger out and hoping to get a laugh out of his best friend.

He accomplished his goal and also earned himself a headlock. "Always the wise ass," Whit told him before finally letting go of his head.

Masen grinned while pushing his hair back from his face with one hand. "Anything else you wanna share with me?"

"I think I'm good for now. You?"

"I'm good."

"Alright. Then leave the helm to me and go spend some time with your kapu. She's got a big day ahead of her and I bet she'd appreciate a little extra attention this morning."

Masen really wanted to take him up on the offer but he also needed to fulfill his responsibilities to MMR. "What about the sixth photo?"

"I'll handle that too. Go on. Get out of here."

"You sure?"

"Say one more thing and I'll change my mind," Whit promised.

Masen left the room immediately, set his coffee cup in the sink, and then headed downstairs to his room and his kapu.

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As if it wasn't frustrating enough to be this jittery, stomach-twisting nervous ball of energy, it was now interfering with Bella's ability to enjoy Edward walking around with his wetsuit only half on. She wanted this next step. She was ready for it. She'd studied every piece of footage and every report over the past few days and she was certain the team was right—there were no sharks in this area. She could make an actual dive here, getting in the water for real and not just for her recertification. She wanted this.

And yet her heart wouldn't calm down, her breathing wouldn't slow, and her fingers wouldn't stop twitching. She wished she had left her bracelet on; she missed the soothing way the smooth beads gently rubbed against her skin.

"Almost time, Guppy. How are you feeling?"

Bella leaned into Lee's one-armed hug. "Like my stomach is performing tumbling exercises in the Olympics."

Lee smiled, half in understanding and half in amusement. "Just aim for the railing if you're gonna puke. Mase hates to have his deck defiled."

Bella gave Lee a dark look.

After initially laughing in response, she gave Bella a full and comforting hug. "Facing fears is tough business," she shared. "Doesn't matter how much you tell yourself you're ready or how convinced you are you're doing the right thing, the nerves stick with you. It's only after it's done that your mind and body catch up to what your heart was so sure of—you can handle it."

"Can I just skip to that part?"

"Nope. You won't learn anything if you fast-forward to the end."

Bella grumbled "figures" under her breath. "I am ready. I really do believe that. And Edward believes it or he wouldn't let me do this."

"That's true. You know what else is true? He's got some worries of his own."

"We actually talked about that a little after the morning meeting. He says it's not a lack of confidence in me, but just general worries from the ray incident and wanting things to be perfect today."

"How much of that did he actually say?"

"Most of it. The rest I guessed from the manic way he kept sticking his hands in his hair."

Lee grinned. "There's a trick to getting him to stop. Threaten to shave him bald in his sleep. Works every single time for us."

"He'd know I was lying," she replied confidently, making Lee laugh. "Anyway, it's not like taking his hair away will take away his worries."

Lee studied her for a moment and then said, "I find it pretty interesting that when you talk about yourself, you label your thoughts and feelings as anxiety. But when you talk about Masen, you call them worries. To me, they're the same thing. It's trying to focus on a positive outcome while prepping for the possibility of a negative one."

"I know I'm harder on myself than anyone else and I know it's not always the best thing for me. But mostly, it's just that little extra I need to push myself past those thoughts and feelings so I can do what I know deep down I'm ready to do."

Lee smiled wide as she pushed her shoulder against Bella's. "Then get to it, Guppy."

Bella smiled back. "Just waiting on the perfectionist over there to be ready." She looked up just in time to witness Edward's hands digging into his hair for the umpteenth time. "Okay, that's enough of this," she said as she got to her feet.

She marched right over to Edward and wrapped her hands around his wrists, giving a tug and freeing his hair from his hands. "Stop harassing your hair."

"Bella, not right now," he replied, sounding as frustrated as he looked. "I've got to make sure everything is perfect."

She gripped his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Stop."

"Bella—"

"Stop," she insisted again. "Just stop and breathe with me."

"If this isn't—"

"Then it isn't. The world isn't yours to control, Edward. All you can do is make sure we're ready to complete our assignments and you've already done that."

His shoulders relaxed and he rested his forehead to hers but his hands were still rolled into fists. She couldn't see them, but she knew that was the only reason for his hands not to be on her body.

She tried a joke since that had seemed to work earlier in the week when they'd discussed her sister. "You know you're gonna make your hair fall out tugging on it so much."

He didn't smile, speak, or even relax a tiny bit.

"Edward, I want you to listen to me … If something should go wrong, it won't be your fault."

"I promised you."

"The promise you made was to help me take the next step, which you are doing by encouraging me to do this dive and by making sure I'm prepared for what we'll most likely come across. Now the promise you're trying to fulfill is a perfect dive and that is completely different and unrealistic. The outcome of this dive is going to depend on the water, the marine life, my reactions … You have zero control over those things."

His hands finally settled over her hips and he pulled her against his bare chest, finally letting her completely into his personal space.

She hummed and wrapped her arms tight around his back. "This is much better than watching you torture your poor hair."

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He was starting to calm down but he wasn't quite there yet.

She had an idea of what might work and hoped she was right—ramping him back up was the absolute last thing she wanted to do. "I'm not going to blame you, you know. Whatever happens today, the decision to get in the water is mine and mine alone. You've encouraged me and prepped me, but you won't be putting me in the water. That'll be my choice."

He set his finger under her chin and lifted her lips to his but stopped just short of kissing her. "Since you're busy listing things I can and can't do, can we please put me getting you out of this wetsuit on the can list?"

"I wasn't sure you'd noticed. You hadn't said anything."

His hands moved to her lower back, resting across the top of her butt. It had the dual effect of relaxing her worries over the pressure he was putting on himself and making her heart race from the pressure of his hands on her body.

A cocky grin curled his lips. "You're in a skin tight wetsuit. Not noticing is an impossibility. Behaving around you is a close second."

"Maybe we should put some distance between us then."

"I've got a much better idea." His idea turned out to be giving her a sensual kiss that was so damn good and had just the right amount of tongue—he nearly knocked her feet right out from under her. She was positive there was no way he could kiss her like that if he was still worried about making the dive perfect.

"I love you, kapu," he breathed into her ear.

The best she could do was half a nod with her swirling head, weak knees, and shaky legs.

He pressed his lips to the apple of her cheek and then moved down to kiss her mouth gently. "Thank you."

"Okay."

He chuckled and hugged her tightly. "Maybe I should give you a minute to recover."

"Okay."

He chuckled again. "Have you come up with any theories on why this area is free of sharks?"

"First thought was gigantic squid eating them all, but then you showed me that book last night and now I'm convinced megalodon is out there."

He glared at her. "Be serious."

She smiled and lifted up to kiss his lips. "Lighten up. If you keep stressing like this, you're going to make me stress and that will ruin this dive before it ever begins."

He pulled in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "You're right. I do need to calm down. I also need you to know that I have complete confidence in you. This stress, it's all me."

"I know. You wouldn't have encouraged me to dive if you didn't find me capable."

He nodded in agreement. "You are capable." She could tell he was back into mentor-mode but this time he was concerned about safety without going overboard with it. "It's almost time to start so let's do a final check before we go in, Guppy. How long will the dive last?"

"An hour."

"What's your assignment?"

"Photograph all visible marine life. You and Whit will take pictures of the topography of the area."

"Good. Now in case of a radio malfunction, we'll use sign language. I need to see you sign four words … ready, start, stop, danger."

Bella brought her hands up into his line of sight and then signed each of the four words for him.

"Excellent," he said with a nod. "We're going to go in and come out in formation. What order will we be in?"

"Going in, it'll be you, then me, and then Whit. Coming out will be the reverse."

"Last question … what's the distance we're going to keep between each other?"

"Arm's length apart at all times."

"You're ready, Guppy," he said with a smile. "We'll get suited up with our tanks, Gopher will start the count, and we'll enter the water. Since Whit and I are used to diving together, we'll stay near the boat until you signal that you're ready. Once you do, we'll move slow and steady toward the reefs in the shallows."

"And as we see things that need to be caught on camera, we'll use the radios to call them out," she added.

"She's got it all under control, Mase," Whit said as walked up. "Now we just need to get her tank on and her mask fitted correctly, and then we can get this dive underway."

"I'll handle her mask," Masen offered, already taking it from him.

Whit chuckled. "Never had a doubt, bro."

"Which is why I'm holding the tank," Gopher added. "Guppy, slip your arms through the straps and Whit's gonna tighten them until you can comfortably take the weight of the tank."

She did as he'd asked and after a few tries, they were able to get the straps to fit comfortably and securely. With that done, Edward helped her to put on the full face mask and make sure it was both watertight and comfortable. She gave him a thumbs-up when it felt good to her and then he nodded at Gopher.

Using a hand-held radio, Gopher told her, "Testing 1, 2, 3. Guppy, if you hear me clearly, give me a thumbs-up."

She followed Gopher's instruction, wondering why he didn't just have her speak.

"Sound works," he confirmed. "Microphone test now, Guppy. Repeat the following at a normal speaking volume … My goldfish Bob likes to swim all day."

It was hard to repeat it without giggling but she managed. After she asked, "Why that sentence?"

"We tried a few out and found that this sentence gives us the most accurate test of highs and lows," he explained.

He then turned his attention to Edward who'd suited up with help from Whit and Lee. They did the sound and voice check together and by the time they were done, Lee had Whit ready for his tests.

One by one, Gopher helped them down the short ladder and onto the platform where he armed them with flippers and waterproof cameras while Lee gave them a few reminders through the radio. "Keep in formation. Stay within arm's reach of each other. Keep aware of your full surroundings, not just what's in front of your face. At the forty-five minute mark, start heading back to the boat."

With a count of three, Edward leaned back and let the weight of his tank take him under the surface. It took Bella four separate three-counts before she got her stubborn legs to cooperate and allow her to join him. As soon as she had her legs under her, he was right there to take hold of her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. There was still some worry in his blue eyes but more than anything there was excitement and she concentrated on that, letting her own bubble up inside and become her main focus.

Once Whit joined them, it was all up to Bella to make the first move away from the boat. She went through all the reasons she was doing this, with number one being that she wanted to enjoy a dive again. With that done, she checked to make sure she was truly more excited than anxious. Edward had done all he could to prepare her. Now it was up to her to do all she could to make this a successful dive.

Certain that she was ready for more, she gave the go-ahead. "Ready."

Edward gave her hand another tight squeeze and then let it go. "Move out in formation. Arm's length distance."

The sky above had been cloudless and the sun dazzlingly bright. Those conditions created azure blue waters underneath with a clear and wide viewable distance. Their current position didn't give them much to look at since they were too close to the surface to see the bottom and too far out to see any of the reefs. Still, floating in the blue water this way was stunning all on its own in Bella's opinion.

From dives long ago, Bella could tell that Edward was taking this one slow. He was taking them deeper at a controlled pace and slightly slanted angle, rather than heading straight for their destination—the bay floor. She appreciated how much thought he'd put into this dive, and how much consideration he'd given to ensuring she was comfortable with every bit of it. How anyone could ever think he was heartless, she would never understand.

When they reached the floor, they found it to be nearly white and with the barest of slopes. There were lines and patterns along the top layer of sand, proof that marine life of all shapes and sizes cruised through this area even if they didn't see any at the moment. In the distance, they could just make out the shadowy outline of the start of the reef system for this area.

As they approached the reefs, Bella caught a glimpse of something from the corner of her eye. Her mind immediately screamed "shark" but she stopped herself from yelling it out. She focused on her hands locked tight to the camera while forcing her breathing to stay even. Calmly and clearly, she let the guys know to check their right side.

She turned with them and was rewarded with the sight of a strange creature that seemed to be having trouble deciding if it was a fish or a ray.

"Bowmouth guitarfish," Edward announced. "It's a mud skate that loves tropical coastal waters and trolling sea floors for bony fishes and mollusks."

Bella continued to watch the fish, still not able to reconcile the head structure of a ray on the body of a finned fished.

"Might wanna take a few pics, Guppy," Whit said, not quite laughing at her for her staring.

With a guilty blush staining her cheeks, she allowed the weight of her tank to take her down and line her up with the guitarfish. Looking at it through the camera's lens, it seemed even more like an imaginary creature rather than a real marine animal. It had a wide, flat front that sloped upward into a bulbous head and then outward into ray-like wings. There were bony protrusions next to each eye and a third that ran from the top of the head to the tail. Its skin was an odd shade of grey and covered in white dots. Black markings in a sideways "u" pattern broke up the polka dots on the left and right side about halfway along the wings. Its mouth was only visible from the underside. The oddest feature of all in her opinion was its three fins. There were two along its spine and a third on the tale, which was longer on the top half than the bottom. Anyone catching just a glimpse could easily mistake it for a ray being chased by a shark.

The guitarfish stuck around long enough for Bella to get a couple dozen shots of it. She made a mental note to look the fish up later, wanting to know more about it so she could add as much detail as possible to her journal entry.

It was only a few minutes later that the team reached the reefs. The floor here was still white sand but now it was covered in thin clumps of sea grass and small pieces of coral. It was in the sea grass that Bella spotted a shark—and began to laugh.

"Bella?" Edward called, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Think her tank mixture is messed up?" Whit questioned, taking hold of her other shoulder.

"No, no," she breathed between giggles. "Fine. Fine. Sha—Shark." She pointed at the sea grass and the thin tan creature that was gliding through it.

Whit spotted it and called out, "Puffadder shyshark."

This marine animal was also covered in white spots but they were broken up by a series of orange-brown stripes, with the first appearing just above the shark's eyes and continuing on to the very tip of its tail. It had two upper fins on top with two lower fins, one of which was the tail. It also had a set of flippers just behind the eyes.

Bella swallowed down another bubble of laughter as she watched the shark begin to curl up on itself. She knew she needed to speak in full sentences and ease any worry she'd caused the guys. "Sorry but all this time I've been so worried about what I would do if I came across a shark in the water and suddenly this little guy shows up … A shark that curls up in a circle and uses its tail to hide its eyes when it feels threatened."

Underwater and behind plastic, Edward's glare was still flinch-inducing. "I'm not sure if I should be pissed at the near heart attack or proud that you've been listening during my shark fact sessions."

"Give her a break, Mase," Whit replied. "She recovered from her relief-laughter way quicker than I did. And I was laughing at a great white when mine happened."

"Don't remind me," Edward grumbled.

"Does it help that I'm taking photos of Tiny?" Bella asked.

"Tiny?" Edward questioned.

"Well he ain't massive," Whit joked.

Bella had been circling the shyshark to get photos from all angles but stopped when she spotted the reticulate whipray soaring around the corner of the reef and between two outcroppings of coral. She felt a little trepidation at the sight of its whip-like tail but not any of the fear or panic she felt whenever she spotted the Great Whites.

"Guppy?" Edward called.

She wanted to prove she was okay and decided the best way to do that was to show it. She pointed at the outcroppings ahead and shared, "If we go this way, we might get some shots of a reticulate whipray."

During their exploration of the reef system, they came across two other types of rays, a few eels, tons of fish of varying sizes and colors, and coral in every shape, color, and type imaginable. They even found a small seaweed forest, but Edward decided it was too much of a risk on her first team dive to investigate. She was fine with his choice, finding the area to be dark and full of shadows. She wasn't sure she would be able to stop herself from panicking if she came across an eel or some other toothy marine animal in there.

On the way back to the boat, they stopped to watch a large school of snoek pass above them, filling in the mid-water and blocking the sun in spots. They were oily fish resembling barracuda but not actually related to that species. Bella knew from reading up on the Cape Town area that snoek were fished heavily here and cooked in a number of local dishes. She was pretty sure the fish they'd seen being barbecued in the market had been snoek.

They made it back to the boat with three minutes to spare—she knew because Lee had announced it as soon as Whit's head had broken the surface. Gopher helped him out and then grabbed Bella's hands and lifted her up and out in one swoop. Edward came out of the water next and after removing their flippers they all climbed to the deck.

Lee and Gopher helped all three get their full face masks off first and then Gopher went to work on Masen's tank while Lee worked on Bella's straps.

"So how was it?" Lee asked. Her attempt to hide her worry caused wrinkles to form at the edges of her mouth.

"It was wonderful," Bella answered honestly. "It was beautiful and fun and I know this will sound strange, but it was really freeing too. I felt like I was with a friend I hadn't seen in a really long time, but one that I still knew inside and out. For all my earlier worry, I'm overwhelmed now with relief and joy."

And she had one person in particular to thank for this experience. Lee got her tank off moments after Gopher had removed Edward's, and Bella went straight for him. She jumped at him and he caught her, locking his arms around her thighs. He laughed at her silliness and she laughed out of pure happiness.

"Good dive?" he asked, having to look up into her eyes for a change.

"Epic dive," she assured him. With her arms resting on his shoulders for balance, she brought her lips to down to his and gave him a hard kiss full of her thanks and excitement.

She had chosen to get in the water and she had chosen to go forward with the dive, but she never would have gained the confidence to go through with it if not for all of his mentoring and encouragement. When she wrote her journal entry tonight she knew one thing that was definitely making it into the side note—Edward's mentoring worked and she was successful because of it.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Alice's POV:

Alice closed her eyes and turned her face up to the sun, soaking in its warmth and smiling for how good it felt. When she opened her eyes again, her smile grew wider at the sight in front of her. She was standing next to the gorgeous lake in downtown Orlando where she often spent Sundays with her uncle. The lake was part of a park, complete with a farmer's market and children's playground. Sometimes Bella joined them if she could get away from work. Together they'd walk the paths along the waterfront and they'd always stop at one of the local eateries for lunch. On occasion, they would save their walk for dusk so they could be there when night fell and the lake's ornate fountain lit up in a kaleidoscope of colors.

Today, Alice was alone at the lake but that was only because she was waiting for Whit. She knew he'd be there any minute now and she was excited to see him again. It felt like it had been several long months without him instead of just a few days. She couldn't wait to see him and hold him and make absolute sure he knew she loved him and wanted a future with him.

She walked the path around the lake slowly, taking in the people and the birds and loving the safe, family-friendly feel of this place. She stopped to watch a family pedal past her on a large Swan boat, the parents and the children equally enjoying the experience.

No sooner than she started walking again, she spotted Whit. He was wearing black jeans, a bright white t-shirt, a straw fedora hat, and a smile that made her heart skip a beat. She was so happy to see him that she practically skipped the distance between them.

It was only when she was a few feet away that she realized he wasn't looking at her and his hand wasn't extended in her direction. His focal point was a beautiful redhead and she seemed extremely glad to take his hand and to kiss his cheek. The smile he gave the woman in return left Alice unable to breath and feeling sick to her stomach. That was her smile. That was how he looked at her because he loved her and she loved him.

"Oh! Yes! Carlisle! So exciting! Carlisle, come and see!"

Esme's excited yelling knocked Alice out of the horrible dream she'd just been trapped in.

And all the jostling around had caused her to fall out of bed. "Ouch," she groaned while rubbing at her tailbone. In addition to her physical pain, she felt sad and lonely, and her heart was still racing from that nasty end to her dream.

"Carlisle! Hurry up!" Esme urged.

"On my way," Carlisle yelled back.

Alice's curiosity was bigger than the pain in her butt—and a great escape from the nightmare she didn't want to think about. She pulled herself off the floor and wandered out into the living room to find out what was going on. She hoped it wasn't something silly like a dog trick.

"My love, what on Earth has you so excited?" Carlisle asked, reaching Esme just a few steps before Alice did.

"Oh wait until you see," Esme gushed. "By the way, really liking the 'my love' bit," she said as she hopped out of her chair and gestured for him to sit down. She started tapping the laptop screen before he even had a chance to settle in. "Look at Bella! Look at how happy she looks. Oh and look at this one over here."

"Underwater … She really went through with it." His tone was stunned but the smile on his face was absolute pride.

Alice came around the desk to find out what he was seeing. There was a photo on the left of Masen holding Bella up in the air on the deck of the boat. She was looking down at him and had the biggest smile on her face. Like nothing could ever be wrong as long as she was with him. Alice knew that was how she smiled with Whit—well, it had been before she'd made him too angry to speak to her.

Alice focused on the laptop again, taking a peek at the photo on the right. It was a little fuzzy since it had been taken underwater but she could clearly see some coral and even a few fish—and two divers. She knew from the shape of the body that the person on the right was her sister so she assumed the person on the left was Masen.

"She doesn't look the least bit afraid," Esme stated. "I'm so glad Masen allowed Whit to take this picture. I know it's one Bella will treasure."

"Esme …" Carlisle put his hand over hers on his shoulder while shaking his head. "I don't know what to say … how to thank Masen and Whit for this gift they've given her."

"I'm sure they'll tell you," she joked. "Honestly, the smile on her face here right after they completed the dive," she continued, tapping the photo on the left. "That's all the payment my misfits want."

"Have they sent their report yet?" he asked.

"It's this tab right here," she replied, pointing it out for him. "They had a perfect day. Great weather, tons of usable footage, and no harm, no foul."

He twisted the chair so he could look at her. "Were there any shark sightings?"

Esme smiled as she pressed her hand to his cheek. "No Whites or any other large sharks. They did see a shyshark, only about fourteen inches long. Whit said in the email that Bella laughed about it. She also controlled herself each time they came across a ray. She did a spectacular job."

Since they weren't paying any attention to her, Alice left the room without saying anything. She sat on the edge of her bed and asked herself how she felt about this latest development with Bella.

Instead of recalling the pictures from the laptop, her mind brought forth the image from her nightmare. She suddenly felt cold all over, and very, very alone.

Her dream had started off in the usual way—a bright, sunny day in a familiar location. This time it had been the lake back home where she spent most of her weekends. She'd been by herself but she'd known she was waiting for Whit. She'd wandered around to keep herself busy until he arrived.

When he'd finally shown up, she'd been so happy to see him and couldn't wait to get her arms around him. And that had been when her sweet dream had turned into a devastating nightmare. Instead of wanting to hold her, he'd wanted some redheaded stranger. Worst of all, the smile he'd given that woman had been Alice's. She'd known then that she had lost Whit.

The words from his letter came to her … Saying goodbye isn't something I want to do but it's the only conclusion there can be if your mindset doesn't change.

There were many things Alice was unsure of but one that she had absolutely no doubt about was that she did not want to lose Whit. Staying in Whit's life, and more importantly his heart, meant that she had to make peace with Bella and all of her decisions regarding her summer internship. It also meant making peace with Masen, and apologizing to Whit for the hurt she'd caused him. But first the root of all of this—Bella.

Alice went to her bedroom door and cracked it open, listening to see if Esme and Carlisle were still in the living room area. There were no sounds so she stepped out of her room and headed for the laptop, wanting another look at the photos and to read the daily report. She hoped to find something to help her understand her sister, and just as importantly herself.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

"That's it," Masen announced, relaxing and leaning back in his chair. "We are officially done for the day. But before you guys leave, I want to thank you all again. The hard work, the extra attention to details … You guys made today a huge success and I'm proud of all of you."

"Awe, Masey loves us," Lee cooed from her chair opposite of him. Her usual perch on the corner of his desk was occupied by Bella tonight. It was only because Lee had relinquished the spot that she wasn't being flipped off for her smart ass remark.

"Don't fool yourself, Lee. He loves all the info our dives gave him and our continued no harm, no foul status," Whit said with a teasing grin.

"If I didn't know you were full of shit, I'd be hurt right now," Masen replied.

"How is that any way to talk to your best friend?" Whit questioned with one raised eyebrow.

"How do you do that?" Bella asked him. "In addition to the muscle control it takes, you actually make it look cool."

"No he doesn't," Masen refuted in a slightly higher pitch than normal. "Don't encourage that asshat."

"That's 'fucking nudger' to you," Whit corrected, his smile almost too wide for his face.

"Boys, boys!" Lee said, holding a palm out to each of them. She waited until they were looking at her to smile and say, "You're both pretty."

Bella and Gopher laughed while Lee blew the guys kisses that they responded to with raised middle fingers and huge grins.

Bella lowered Masen's finger for him and then hugged his fisted hand to her chest. "So I'm thinking snack and then talking about today while enjoying your pillows."

He matched her grin while pulling her off the desk and into his lap. "Sounds good. I just have one more thing I need to do before I can call it a night. By the time you finish eating and get the pillows piled to your liking, I should be done."

"Mase, go on and take off with Bella. I can handle it alone," Whit offered.

Masen looked between his friend and his kapu, wanting to go with her but also needing to handle all of his responsibilities.

Bella's soft palms pressed against his cheeks. "It's okay. Stay and finish."

"You sure?" Masen asked, not wanting to disappoint her.

"I know you. If you leave now, then you'll just be thinking about it all night, wondering if it's finished."

"I'll make it up to you," he promised.

"I'm counting on it." She pressed her lips to his just enough to let him feel the softness and warmth of hers and then she was gone, leaving him grinning like a fool with her scent seeming to cling to him.

Whit chuckled from the other side of the desk. "You sure you're gonna be able to work?"

"Not entirely but she's right. If I don't see it through, I'll just be thinking about it all night."

"If I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd think you don't trust me. But I do know you and I knew from early this morning that your ass would be in perfectionist mode. So let's get this done and get you back with your kapu."

Masen grinned for a second and then became serious. "Thank you. For everything today."

"It's nothing," Whit said with a flick of his hand. "You've got my back and I've got yours. Nothing more, nothing less."

They both knew it was much, much more than that and they also knew it didn't need to be said. Instead they used their time together to go over the six selected photos for the travel magazine one last time.

Masen wasn't surprised to find they were in complete agreement on the photos. He watermarked them all and then he let Whit compose the email, attach the photos, and send everything off to their contact at the magazine.

"Look at that! Done in record time," Whit said as he stood and stretched.

"Is there anything else we need to go over?" The look Masen gave him made it clear he wasn't talking about work anymore.

"Not tonight," Whit answered with a shake of his head. "We'll see how things look in the morning."

"If you change your mind—"

"Check your room and if you're not there, check your project room." Whit smiled. "It's kind of nice to say that in the reverse order."

Masen was surprised to find himself smiling and agreeing. His project room had always been his favorite place on the boat and he definitely still loved working in it. But more often than not lately he found himself enjoying whatever room Bella was in just as much, if not more.

Whit's hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his head. "It's a done day, Mase. Go wind down with your kapu."

They parted ways with a fist bump and Masen headed down the hall for his room while Whit went upstairs, probably in search of food. The helm shifts didn't start for a couple hours and Gopher was first up tonight—his second solo watch of the summer.

Masen opened his door and found Bella stretched across his bed with her legs bent and feet flat on the mattress. Almost flat. Her feet were tapping in time with the music coming from the speakers of her laptop beside her. She turned her head toward him and opened her eyes, revealing their sweet caramel color and showing off an equally sweet smile. He'd had a hand in that—in making her happy—and he felt damn proud of himself.

He also felt a little reward was in order for the both of them so he closed the door and closed his mind to everything but her. He took her ankles into his hands and pulled her legs flat, allowing him to stretch out over her body.

The lyrics of the song currently playing caught his ear and gave him a few ideas that brought out his smirk…

Walked up to her in a bar

Not thinking I'd get too far.

We filled the night with dancin'

Summer kissin', an' sweet romancin'.

"Summer kissing. Sounds like a good plan."

The hard press of his mouth on hers robbed her of the chance to reply. He just couldn't wait another second before kissing her, especially not after watching her lick her lips while she looked right at him. She sunk her hands into his hair and parted those sweet lips of hers, urging him to kiss harder and deeper, and moaning softly when he did just that. She had no clue how much that sound tempted and tormented him.

He slid one arm under her shoulders and hooked the other around her waist, lifting her up and into his body. She was right here with him but he had that ridiculous feeling again that she wasn't close enough, that there was too much space between them. Holding her this way eased that sensation but didn't completely eliminate it. He was beginning to suspect only one thing would and only for a short time; the idea of needing her so much and so often was foreign—and honestly more than a little terrifying. He clenched his eyes shut in an attempt to push away that thought and refocus on the beautiful woman in his arms. The only emotion he was interested in exploring right now was the feel of her body against his.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Bella was the first to pull away, her face red and her breathing quick and hard. "I like this plan." She had expected him to want to talk about today's dive so she was a little surprised by this unexpected behavior but also thoroughly enjoying it.

Edward chuckled and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger there. When he pulled away, he did so laughing and nodding his head at the laptop. She listened with him to the song playing …

Gimme that look, that sign.

I'll make ya feel so fine

If you give me one night with you.

Tell me, Baby, whatcha wanna do?

"So you recognize this one?" she asked, grinning up at him.

"Surprisingly, yes. But I think it might only be because we're nearly in the same position we were in that night at the bar."

"Yeah, we were standing then."

"And you were closer." He grabbed her leg and wrapped it around his thigh, causing her breathing to come to a complete stop. He had no idea how being this close to him tempted and tormented her and she would never tell just in case he got the crazy idea into his head to stop.

"Where'd you get this?" he asked, nodding at the laptop again.

"It's your birthday CD from Whit. It's been lying on your dresser all this time so I figured someone should get around to listening to it."

"That fucking nudger." Edward sighed as if he was annoyed but in the very next second he was smiling like a kid in a candy store. "You cheated me, you know."

"What? When?" She honestly had no idea what he could be talking about.

"You said I could take your wetsuit off but then you changed while I was putting away gear with Gopher and Whit."

A giggle escaped her and caused her blush to darken. "I never actually agreed to that. You said to put it on the list of what you can do but I never said I would."

"It was implied."

"Well I didn't know you were serious."

"I'm always serious about undressing you."

"So do it," she challenged jokingly.

She had expected him to laugh or maybe ask if she was serious so she was very happily surprised when he grabbed her shirt and bunched the fabric in his hand. He pushed it up but only until he could see a strip of her bare stomach and then he unwrapped himself from the hold he'd created and scooted down, lining his lips up with her stomach.

He left a trail of lazy kisses and goose bumps across her skin, leading from one hip to the other. And when he was satisfied with his work, he lifted the shirt an inch to reveal a new area for his mouth to explore. It was taking everything in her to stay still and not squirm; the last thing she wanted was to give him any reason to stop.

The kisses were light and almost ticklish but the way his lips caressed her … she had no words to describe how he was making her feel. There was an intimacy to his kisses unlike anything she'd ever experienced in past relationships. She wasn't sure if he'd actually whispered it or she'd imagined it, but she heard "kapu" and she knew she had her word—sacred.

He stopped to pull her shirt off, careful not to get her long hair caught up in the fabric. His own shirt was flung away and then he held her tight, giving her something brand new to love—the feel of his skin on hers as they traded slow kisses. This. The warmth of his skin and the softness of it contrasting with the hard muscle underneath…This was her new favorite sensation.

She felt his arms relax their death-grip hold on her and she just knew he was going to put the brakes on this and put their shirts back on. She worried she wouldn't be able to not look disappointed during the time it took him to remove an arm and then use the back of that hand to caress the side of her breast. It had been too fleeting of a touch for her to know if she liked it, completely unlike the current feel of his mouth on her, sucking hard enough that she felt it everywhere but not so much that it hurt. With him being this damn amazing with a little exploration, it was no wonder he was worried about their line and not being able to uncross it.

Why did I have to think about that stupid line? she chastised herself. Now I have to bring it up.

She'd honestly meant to interrupt him but then he was kissing her mouth and their chests were pressed together and she could feel him against her belly. It made it hard to remember she had something to say, much less to spit the words out.

But she found a way for him, for ensuring he had no regrets. Holding his flushed cheeks in her hands, she said, "Edward, we need to stop for now."

"Are you tired?" The confusion in his green eyes morphed into worry. "I didn't even think about how long this day must have felt to you. You probably just wanted to dive into the pillows and sleep. I'm sorry. I should have thought about that."

"Can I get a word in here before you convince yourself you've robbed me of rest?" she asked with a smile meant to ease his worry. "The only reason I said we should stop is our line."

His face relaxed and he lowered his lips to hers for a sweet kiss. "Our line is perfectly safe."

"Um, are you not aware of our current position?" She knew there was no way he couldn't be but that seemed the only logical explanation for him to say such a thing.

"I'm very aware." He emphasized his reply by smirking and taking a second to admire her naked chest. "And you, kapu, are the only one getting undressed tonight."

He smirked again and then licked his lips before kissing her throat. With intentional and torturous slowness, he kissed and licked a line from her throat to the top of her shorts. He grabbed the fabric at her hips, panties too, and quickly got them off and tossed aside. The heat inside of her mixed with the coolness of the room caused goose bumps to break out all across her body and the resulting shake made her aware of the haunting melody coming from her laptop, which had miraculously not been knocked off the bed yet.

Edward must have had a similar thought because he was suddenly grabbing the machine and leaning over her body to reach the bed's edge and set it on the floor.

When his fingers began to move up her legs, she quickly realized he was timing his movements with the song's rhythm, keeping it slow and drawing the sensations out. It gave her time to get her brain in order and think about what he was offering and what could happen if she really went through with accepting it.

And then that look passed between them. A request for trust and permission from him. His hungry green eyes wanting her and yet needing her to want him in this way just as much.

She said the first thing that popped into her head. "Please."

His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared as his hand cupped her, his fingers warm with an almost imperceptible tremor. His mouth covered hers and he kissed her deeply while stroking her skin and curls, exploring rather than just diving in.

When he finally did touch her, her entire body jumped and she accidentally bit his tongue. He uttered a breathless curse but it didn't sound like it was done out of pain. He barely even paused in kissing her.

Just as she reached the point where she couldn't take his light strokes for another second without going stark raving mad, she felt his fingers right where she needed them to be. Looking deep into her eyes, he slowly pushed his fingers forward until they couldn't go any deeper. She involuntarily threw her head back in a soundless cry while her toes curled under. She'd been completely unprepared for it to feel so damn good and not enough at the same time—it had very literally stolen her breath away.

All breaths after that—and moans and cries and pleading—were swallowed up by his kisses while his fingers filled her over and over again, finding and then purposefully avoiding that one spot that made her sensitive all over, to the very roots of her hair. It was ridiculous how well he was able to read her body. He'd let her get right up to the edge and start to believe he was finally going to release her and then he'd yank her away just to start the climb all over again.

This time was different though, she could feel it. She began to shake and she could feel herself letting go, feel his fingers picking up speed. His thumb joined the fray, making tight circles that sent her higher and caused her toes to curl under again. The final tensing that broke her string was his whisper of "I love you". A rush of warmth was followed by a wave of euphoria and a smattering of bright spots swimming before her eyes. Her ears rang and her heart felt as though it had gotten the cardio workout of its lifetime.

When the after-effects subsided, Bella found that Edward had pulled the covers up over their heads, leaving a small gap for light to come in so they could see each other. She grabbed his face and kissed him with all the strength she could muster. "I love you so much."

He chuckled and tightened his arms around her. "I bet you do. Be honest, kapu. That was way more than adequate."

Since she still had a hand in his hair, she gave it a light tug. She couldn't deny he had a lot to be proud about; she just had never experienced a proud lover so she wasn't really sure how to react to him.

He chuckled again and then he gave her lips a soft kiss. It was a weird mix for her, seeing that clearly egotistical smile of his and then feeling his tenderness. She suspected it seemed just as weird for him, going from caring about the act to caring about the woman. That was a pretty damn big deal and she wanted him to know she realized it and appreciated it.

"Aloha Au Ia 'Oe, Edward."

His hand that had been stroking her spine came to a sudden halt and his green eyes studied her with all the focus he gave to his sharks, maybe even more.

Her own hand continued to rub his stubble while she leaned in to him and pressed her lips to his. She had wanted to give him a real kiss but she hadn't wanted to just dive in with him suddenly seeming skittish. She gave him slow, chaste kisses until she felt him kissing back and then she gave him all she had, wanting to get back that intense closeness to him she'd felt while he'd been touching her.

"Kapu," he whispered as he stopped the kiss. He scooted back to create space between them, breathing hard and clenching his eyes shut the entire time.

She reached her hand out and set it on his chest; she was almost certain he'd been the one to shiver for once. "It's my turn to take care of you."

His eyes opened and she was certain she'd never seen a set so beautiful—a gorgeous dark green with a mix of love and heat topped off by a dash of panic. The beauty was in seeing just how deep his feelings for her went.

"Kapu, trust me when I say I would love nothing more, but you can't."

"Why not?"

"Just …" He looked almost hurt as he lifted her hand from his chest and moved it to rest on the sliver of mattress between them. "Just don't, okay."

"If you're worried about our line—"

"I'd be an idiot not to," he answered much louder than needed in their enclosed space beneath the blanket.

It was hard to do, but she managed to keep control of her hurt and not yell in return. "You really need to explain that because what I'm getting right now is that you don't trust me to keep us safe and that is going to piss me off unless you clarify."

With a loaded sigh he reached for her and pulled her back into his space, into the circle of his arms. He stared at her for what felt like a long time before stumbling his way through an explanation. "I don't … What I thought was going to happen and what did happen tonight … Kapu, I honestly had no idea things would go so far tonight. The only plan I had was to kiss you. Next thing I knew—And I damn sure didn't expect to be affected by touching you. It was—Look, things got away from me and I don't know how."

His confusion was real and it was easy to see it bothered him a great deal. It was also clear that it was himself he didn't trust.

"I think I might," she told him, once again rubbing his stubble gently. "You said it without realizing it … Touching me. You were expecting a purely physical thing but loving someone makes it so much more than that. What you did, what we shared, it wasn't just your fingers and my body. It was the way you touched me, like it was the most amazing thing you'd ever done. And then there's the new level of closeness and trust created through it. I can see where the unexpected side effects would unnerve you."

Edward rubbed his hand over his face a few times and then sunk them into his hair. "Why the hell does everything have to be so different with you?"

Bella laughed, amazed that he still wasn't catching on. "You're so damn smart that you're an idiot. Do you honestly think for one second that it's ever felt this way for me? Not even my first love was this quick of a connection and I'd known him for years. And it definitely wasn't anywhere close to being on this level. You are not the only one in new territory here, Edward. But you are the only one thinking it's happening just to you."

"Well fuck," he growled, grabbing another tuft of his hair. "Then we really don't need to be doing anything other than kissing."

"Um … What?"

"If what's happening is as unpredictable for you as it is for me, then there's no chance in hell of us keeping our heads."

"I don't think that's true. I think there are things we can do, like not reciprocating the same night. And keeping our clothes on does work in that we have to take them off which gives us time to stop and think."

"Not much time."

"Maybe not." She freed his hair and held his hands in hers. "Do you really think you can go back to only kissing? Because I don't think I can. More importantly, I don't trust that holding in what we feel and denying ourselves small releases will keep us safe. I think it'll be more like gas trapped in a cylinder that's slowly having more and more pressure applied to it. You do know what happens to trapped gas, right?"

He nodded. "It explodes."

"So maybe rather than pretending this isn't entirely different from everything else we've experienced so far in our lives, we can acknowledge it and learn together what works and what feels like too much. I love you and it's that love that will ask if you're sure every time we do anything new, just like I did tonight."

"That's great in theory, but what about when the wrong head answers you?"

She grinned and ran her thumb along his eyebrow. "All if have to do is look to your eyes for the real answer."

"You can't trust that either, Bella. We don't have the luxury of being anything other than completely realistic here. We both know exactly what we're feeling and craving and when those emotions and hormones mix together and take over, what we see when we look at each other, whatever clues we might normally give to confirm or deny our words … Bella, there's no guarantee they'll be there for either of us. I'm not going to put false trust into our ability to control our heads over our desires."

"But our main desire is to not cross our line."

He smiled and cupped her cheek gently. "You are adorably optimistic. You're also a woman whose heart is always involved when you're intimate. I'm the opposite. Knowing the times I've struggled with when to stop on a one-nighter and having just experienced how insanely different tonight was with you … Just kissing might not be possible but it's the best chance we have at protecting each other."

He left her huddled under the covers to think about that while he gathered up her clothes. He came back to the bed with her shorts and panties but also his shirt rather than hers. Despite her protests about it being too big, she found herself swimming in it and smiling over it from the comfort of his embrace.

He started talking about the dive and she took that as a sign he needed a break from their intimacy conversation. She'd let him have it for now but they were nowhere near done talking about it.

Somewhere between sharing her thoughts on the guitarfish and listening to him excitedly share his theories on the absence of sharks in this area, she fell into a deep sleep with dreams of only good memories.

"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"

Alice didn't find the answers she was searching for in the team's daily report. They also weren't in the photos that had accompanied it. For the first time in a very long time, Alice was the sister who couldn't find rest in her tortured sleep while miles away Bella slept safely and securely.