CHAPTER 7: A Watch with the Sister

When the doors opened, Leliana had to gape at the scene that waited for them. Even Morrigan raised her eyebrows at the sight of Bann Teagan's strange acrobatics.

"This is not quite what I expected."

For once, Leliana had to agree with the witch.

From the front, she heard Kallian mutter in a string of elvish.

"So these are our visitors? The ones you told me about, mother?" came a voice that was a disturbing fusion of pitches. It certainly did not belong to the young boy at the far end of the room.

His mother, Isolde, was standing next to him looking pale and defeated. "Y-yes, Connor."

He turned his cold, staring eyes on Kallian. "And this is the one that defeated my soldiers? The ones I sent to reclaim my village?"

"Yes," choked Isolde.

The boy narrowed his eyes. "And now it's staring at me. What is it, mother?"

"Th-this is an elf, Connor… you… you've seen elves before. We have them here in the castle…"

Connor's eyes seemed to brighten in recognition. His expression smoothed out to a horrible smile.

"Oh, I remember! I had their ears cut off and fed to the dogs! The dogs chewed for hours!" he cackled gleefully. "Shall I send it to the kennels, mother?"

Leliana stood there listening, speechless. By the Maker… what a terrible thing to say!

She glanced worriedly at Kallian's back, certain the elf would lose her temper over this. She felt a rush of sympathy for the poor girl… this would only worsen her opinion of humans.

To her surprise, the elf remained silent and still. But then again, it could be the calm before the storm…

Isolde turned to her son, trembling and shaking her head. "C-Connor… I beg you! Don't hurt anyone!" she said tearfully, falling to her knees.

"Get away from me, fool woman!"

His mother stayed on the ground, sobbing in despair. The boy ignored her and turned back to his speechless audience.

"Now… where were we? Ah, yes. I was greeting my guests…" His cold blue eyes narrowed. "Why are you here? Have you come to take over my castle?"

Leliana held her breath when Kallian spoke up.

"We're not intruders," the elf said, her voice mechanical and clipped. "We've come to see Arl Eamon."

"Well then, why didn't you say so? But I'm afraid father is ill, so very ill… we really shouldn't disturb him. Isn't that right, mother?"

"I… I don't think…"

"Of course you don't!" spat Connor, glaring at her in contempt. "Ever since you sent those knights away, you've done nothing but deprive me of my fun. I crave excitement, action! And this woman shall repay me for saving that stupid village!"

He looked down at Bann Teagan sitting on the floor. "Kill them! Kill them all!" he commanded before sprinting out of the room.

"Well, I guess negotiating wasn't an option after all," commented Alistair, drawing his sword.

Leliana had to agree- the boy was far from being persuaded now. She drew her daggers as the soldiers charged at them with Bann Teagan at the front.

Kallian slammed her shield into the Bann's chest, bringing him down. The man tried to get up but the elf pommelled his head, knocking him out.

Leliana fought defensively, going through a range of complicated manoeuvres to confuse them. Unfortunately in their state of possession, the men were too vicious for her to show any mercy. With reluctance, the sister deflected his uppercut and delivered a spinning slash to his torso. She grimaced as blood gushed from his abdomen.

Several men were frozen from Morrigan's spell and she took the opportunity to stab them once they unfroze. Sten simply crushed the soldiers encased in ice.

Once the soldiers were all dead, Kallian stalked over to the woman sobbing on the ground. To her shock, the elf grabbed the woman by the wrist, shaking her.

"Kallian!" said Leliana in alarm.

"You've been protecting him this entire time!" she growled, ignoring the sister.

Isolde looked up at her pleadingly. "Yes, I did. And I am sorry… but I could not tell anyone. I-I didn't know what to do."

Kallian glared at her, and then let the arm go in disgust. "We could have prevented this," she snarled, gesturing at Bann Teagan's prone form.

Fresh tears flowed down the Arlessa's cheeks. "I… I…" Then she grasped Kallian's leg. "Please, Grey Warden… do not hurt my son. He's not responsible for what he does."

Kallian stood there stiffly, face as hard as marble as the woman sobbed at her feet.

"So he is the evil you spoke of, I presume," said the witch.

"Nooo!" howled Isolde. "Don't say that!" Then she broke down into tears again.

Leliana exchanged helpless glances with Alistair. He sighed.

"Isolde… we know this is difficult, but can you tell us what happened?"

When the woman lifted her head, Leliana noticed that her expression wasn't as venomous as the first time she saw him.

"Connor didn't mean to do this!" she insisted. "It was that mage, the one who poisoned Eamon- he started all this! He summoned this demon! Connor was just trying to help his father!"

At this, Kallian's stone cold demeanour started to shift. Leliana wondered at this.

But before any of them could respond, there was a pained groan from behind them. They all turned to see Bann Teagan struggling to rise.

Isolde hurried past them all to give him a hand. "Teagan! Oh, Teagan! Are you alright?"

"I am… better now, I think. My mind is my own again."

"Blessed Andraste!" said the Arlessa, her tense face relaxing. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you had died. Not after… not after I brought you here. Oh, what a fool I am!"

"Had she realized earlier, this would not have been necessary," stated the Qunari, unimpressed.

Isolde turned to Kallian and Alistair. "Please, there must be a way to save Connor!"

There were footsteps on the stone floor, and everyone turned again.

"I am sorry, my lady. But Connor has become an abomination. He's no longer your son," said Jowan, looking very apologetic.

"You!" shrieked Isolde, eyes wild and furious. "You did this to Connor!"

"I didn't!" protested the mage. "I didn't summon any demon. I told you! Please, if you'll let me help…"

"Help? You betrayed me! I brought you here to teach Connor and you poisoned my husband!"

Kallian hissed, slamming her sword tip into the ground.

Everyone jumped and brought their attention to her.

"Possessed or not, he's committed atrocities that you could have prevented. We don't have time- what are the options?" she demanded.

Jowan looked relieved. He explained to them the potential solutions. Even the Arlessa looked hopeful as she listened.

"You can enter the Fade, then? And kill the demon without hurting my boy?"

The mage's eyes became shifty and he hesitated. "No, I myself can't enter but another mage can. It normally requires lyrium and several mages… but I… I have blood magic."

Alistair reacted with a noise of disgust. "Blood magic? We can't let him use that, it's forbidden!"

"You're going to sacrifice someone, aren't you?" said the elf suddenly.

Everyone looked surprised at her knowledge of this. Jowan nodded, hanging his head.

Isolde stepped forward without hesitation. "Then… if that is the price that must be paid, I will do it."

"No, Isolde!"

She met Bann Teagan's shocked face. "If I must give up my life to save my son's, I will not falter. To me, the answer is clear."

"What about the Circle Tower?" asked Kallian.

"Of course!" said Alistair, slapping his forehead. "One of the treaties is for the magi, after all. We could go there."

Bann Teagan nodded. "It is only a day's journey across the lake, if you are willing to go."

Kallian's dark eyes gazed at the floor.

No… don't let them sacrifice the Arlessa, thought Leliana. It isn't right.

The elf looked at Morrigan for her opinion.

"'Tis your decision, but… in the constraints of time, I think it sensible to try using blood magic. We have a willing participant, after all."

Leliana's lips twisted in distaste- trust the witch to suggest this.

"I disagree," said Alistair, shaking his head. "There's a reason blood magic is forbidden. Two wrongs don't make a right."

Kallian turned her dark eyes on Leliana. The sister shook her head. "If there is a way to avoid the death of innocent lives, I would take it."

The elf regarded her for a moment before turning to Sten, who agreed with Morrigan.

Kallian faced them all. "We leave for the Circle Tower," said the elf, sheathing her sword.

Leliana let out a breath of relief.

"Then Maker guide you," said the Bann, looking equally relieved. "And we will keep Jowan here as a precaution."

They all nodded and filed out of the room, pushing open the doors to step out into the fresh air. And, as the five of them descended, Leliana couldn't help but notice a certain vulnerability in Kallian's bold steps, a slight slouch in her normally straight back and a stiffness to her shoulders. She found herself wondering more and more with each step forward.

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Fire. All she could see was fire.

Kallian stood on the edge of a canyon at a dizzying height. The rock underneath her feet crumbled, sending small pieces tumbling down into the sea of marching Darkspawn.

She could feel the vibration produced by thousands and thousands of armoured feet, travelling up to the precipice. Kallian felt so sick from fear she thought about jumping down to end it. To end her life.

There were so many… so many depraved creatures that would overrun every inch of Thedas. They could wipe out a patch of land within seconds. As one unit, the Darkspawn was a beast that swallowed the world.

She stared down helplessly at the hordes of monsters, each carrying a flaming torch in the depths of the gorge. Even from this distance, she thought she could make out the leering, skeletal faces.

But the horror of this nightmare was far from over.

Kallian jerked back, panic ripping through her as she heard the most deafening sound she had ever heard. The dragon slammed down on a bridge across the chasm, the force rocking the ground beneath her. When it roared, the whole air seemed to shake with the sound waves, a terrible clash of noises. There was a warning rumble before raging fire rushed out from its maws and Kallian tripped on the rocks, screaming as she felt the heat scorch her scalp and skin…

Kallian's scream carried into reality and she bolted up in her bedroll. She sat there panting and shaking, drenched in sweat and fear. It had been so real… so real.

The elf braced her forehead against her hands, waiting for her breathing to slow. Images of the Darkspawn army were stamped into her mind- she couldn't blink them away. And the dragon…

How could they win this war? How could any of them hope to kill something like that?

It didn't make sense. It was madness!

"Bad dreams, huh?" came Alistair's voice.

A weak laugh escaped from her. "Yeah… a bad dream." A bad dream…

The other Warden pushed himself off the ground to join her by the fire, warming his hands. Kallian shivered involuntarily as she remembered the heat of the fire, the force of its roar…

"It's because of the taint, you know. It's part of being a Grey Warden- we're able to hear the Darkspawn. That's what your dream was. Hearing them."

Kallian wondered how many more abilities Duncan had neglected to tell her.

"The Archdemon," continued Alistair, sighing. "It… 'talks' to the horde, and we feel it just as they do. That's why we know this is really a Blight."

The elf found her voice. "Good to know," she said hoarsely. Kallian swallowed. "The… Archdemon. Was that the dragon?"

Alistair shrugged. "I don't know if it's really a dragon, but it sure looks like one. But yeah, that's the Archdemon."

Kallian felt her heart plunge into ice cold water. "So… I'm stuck with these dreams until we kill it?"

If we ever do.

"It takes a bit, but eventually you can block the dreams out. Some of the older Grey Wardens say they can understand the Archdemon a bit. I sure can't."

Why anyone would ever want to, or listen to the Archdemon, she would never understand.

"Anyhow, when I heard you screaming and thrashing about, I thought I should tell you. My first time was scary too," said Alistair, giving her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Then he quickly retracted his arm.

"Thanks… Alistair."

"That's what I'm here for," said the man cheerfully. "Delivering unpleasant news and witty one-liners."

Kallian laughed shakily.

"Well, I'm going to get some sleep. But I suggest you have some fresh air- it'll help. Keep watch with Leliana over there if you like." Alistair gave her one last comforting pat and moved to his tent.

He left her there, standing rock-like and subdued.

Kallian hugged herself, trying to suppress the occasional shivers. The night wasn't cold but the dream had left traces of raw emotion behind. She could still feel the panic freezing her insides at the sight of Darkspawn.

How can we win? How can we win?

She gazed up at the starry sky, hoping for comfort. She found none.

Even the diamonds studded in the expanse were like the torches they held in the canyon. It brought back memories of the marching, the tremors underneath her boots.

Kallian brought her gaze back down to the fire in despair.

She tore her eyes away from the flames, which were another reminder of the dream. Instead, she settled on glancing at the only other person with her- Leliana.

Kallian hesitated, not trusting herself. But then… she knew she couldn't sleep tonight. And she couldn't bring herself to look at the fire.

The elf walked over to the lay sister, who looked up to see her approach.

"How's the watch going?"

Leliana looked like she wanted to ask about the dream. "It's going well. No Darkspawn, no wolves."

There was a hint of teasing in her voice but Kallian was too numb to respond.

"Well, that's good."

The sister tried again, looking down at her hands. "I… couldn't hear all of it, but it sounded like you had a bad dream. Something all Grey Wardens have."

Kallian sighed. "Yes."

When she didn't elaborate, Leliana eyed her cautiously. "Would you like to talk about it?"

The elf shrugged. "There's not much to it- just Darkspawn and the Archdemon." The last thing she wanted to do was frighten another person. She wasn't sure if she herself could stomach the magnitude of what they were up against.

"Oh… I see."

Kallian nearly jumped out of her skin when the sister laid a hand on her arm.

"Whatever it was, I hope you find peace in the knowledge that we are all fighting against the same thing. I am afraid also, but I know the Maker is with me. I believe He will be there with you, whether we walk towards success or failure."

The elf couldn't decide if these words were more reassuring or disheartening.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. I cannot offer you more comfort than this, but I hope you see that you are not alone. And… to see that we are not as horrible as you think."

Kallian didn't need her to explain further to know who she was referring to.

"Humans," she said, surprised at how easily that word came to her lips. "Are people. That is my conclusion."

Leliana smiled in the firelight, understanding. Kallian relaxed in relief when the sister took her hand away. She felt a burning handprint on her arm.

The elf cleared her throat. "But speaking of dreams… can you tell me about your vision?"

Leliana hesitated, and Kallian knew she was wary of revealing it for fear of ridicule.

"I won't laugh," said Kallian in a gentler tone.

The sister seemed to gather some confidence from that. "I suppose I knew this would come up sooner or later." She sighed, staring into the fire. "I don't know how else to explain, but I had a dream…and in it, there was an impenetrable darkness."

Kallian swallowed- the sudden gravity in the sister's voice was almost palpable. And perhaps it was the darkness of the night that made everything seem so vivid…

"It was so dense. So real," Leliana was saying. "And there was a noise, a terrible, ungodly noise…"

Kallian remembered the roar of the dragon and the disturbance in the air.

"I stood on a peak and watched as the darkness consumed everything."

She recalled standing on the precipice as she watched the endless masses of Darkspawn, marching to ascend to the land of the living.

"And when the storm swallowed the last of the sun's light, I-"

Kallian looked up at the abrupt pause. Leliana's eyes looked haunted.

"I fell, and the darkness drew me in."

The elf tried not to show how much the vision had unsettled her. Maker… everything was scaring her tonight. "Interesting… but what made it different from other dreams for you to call it a vision?"

The other woman struggled for the right words. "I can't explain it… it was different, somehow. And when I woke, I went to the chantry gardens, as I always do. But that day, the rosebush in the corner had flowered. Everyone knew that bush was dead. It was grey and twisted and gnarled- the ugliest thing you ever saw. But there it was- a single, beautiful rose."

Kallian listened silently, suddenly aware of what she was feeling. It was like a pull, an inexplicable gravitation towards those words. It was identical to what she felt the day they met in Lothering.

Despite the questionable nature of this 'vision', Kallian found that she was curious. There was an undeniable appeal, a sense of… rightness, or fate- for want of a better word- infused in her recount.

"And what do you think it meant?" she asked quietly.

"It was as if the Maker himself stretched out His hand to say: even in the midst of this darkness, there is hope and beauty. Have faith."

Kallian nodded, feeling a smile stretch against her will. This woman was so… so pure, untainted. She had thought Shianni was fragile. But this human was like… like a rare flower in the gardens, an oasis in the harsh barren lands of a desert, a treasure that should be preserved. Protected.

The elf stared into the flames, thinking about how far they had come. She thought about the shems she had killed and then considered her companions. It would still be a while before she could fully separate these groups from each other in her mind.

But somehow… she knew at that moment that she could trust this human. She could trust this human with her life. Kallian couldn't explain why this was- she just knew.

"You don't believe me," said the chantry sister quickly. "It's alright, I don't expect you to understand."

The elf blinked. "No, I… I believe you."

Leliana looked at her suspiciously. "Oh… you do?"

Kallian licked her dry lips. "Yes. I do. Maker… I don't know why, but I do," she said, half laughing.

The woman smiled then. "Thank you… that means a lot to me. No one… no one else does, I'm afraid," she said, the smile slipping.

"What about the chantry?"

Leliana hesitated, a flicker of something in her blue eyes. "Some of my chantry fellows were… condescending. That is the nature of religious folk, I suppose."

Kallian realized what she had read in her expression. Hurt. "What did they say to you?"

The woman sighed. "When I told them that the Maker reveals himself in the beauty of his world, they… treated me with disdain. They want to believe that he's gone, so that when he turns his gaze on them, it means they are special, chosen. He cannot possibly have love for all: the sick and the weary, the beggars and the fools."

The elf remained silent, thinking on these words.

When she returned her gaze to Leliana, the Chantry sister was staring at the ground. Weariness was etched into her posture. A veil of copper hair obscured her face, her shoulders were hunched and she held her hands in front as if ashamed of herself.

Kallian felt a pang of sympathy for her and she fumbled for the right words. Any words, really, to offer some measure of comfort. She wished to the Maker He had gifted her eloquence in speech.

The elf finally broke the silence. "Believe what feels right to you. It doesn't matter what others say. You know what you believe in, and that is enough."

Leliana lifted her head, regarding her a moment. Then her features smoothed out, a smile replacing the weariness. She nodded and gazed up at the night sky. "Thank you… and you are right. I do know what I believe in and I can't allow others to sway me, or to make me doubt."

The elf nodded and slipped cold hands in her pockets, feeling the temperature drop with each second. She started when her fingers closed around the cold rim of metal. It was the bronze symbol of Andraste. She didn't really know why she had looted it from the chantry, but something had made her take it. And she suddenly knew why.

Kallian took it out and cleared her throat. "I… found this back in Lothering. Maker knows why I took it... but I think you should have it," she said, handing it to the sister shyly.

Leliana was surprised but delighted as she took it. When she looked up, her blue eyes were soft with emotion. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "This is a wonderful gift."

For the first time since Denerim, Kallian found her old self returning. She grinned up at the woman.

And the two stood side by side in the all-consuming darkness of the night, elf and human, talking quietly till the tip of the sun breached the horizon.