Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Stephenie Meyer owns anything and everything relating to Twilight. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended and in order to keep it that way, No reproduction, copying, reposting, downloading, or any kind of redistribution of this story is allowed. This is to cover my arse as much as yours! And finally, the Original characters, plot, names, nicknames, songs, poems—anything I created from my very own brain—are all the property of the author of this fanfic, My-Bella. Unauthorized use of the material is plagiarism so please be kind and don't steal my creations.
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Chapter 43 – Holding On & Letting Go
Tuesday, July 29th
Masen grabbed the water bottle from the nightstand and swallowed some down, his eyes never moving from the sleeping woman before him. Bella was an entirely new reason to feel lucky and enjoy his life. A challenge, an adventure, a source of astonishment—she was all of these things and each day she seemed to add to his list of adjectives for her.
She was also trying very hard to trust him. Since he'd created the worry, he felt it was only right that he fix it. It was why her journal was sitting on his leg, folded open to a new blank page that he intended to fill with the comforting words she needed—at least he hoped that was what he'd accomplish.
He finally tore his eyes away to set the bottle down, and then he picked up his pen and clicked the end down, ready to put his thoughts on paper. He looked to her for inspiration, noting the soft purse of her lips in contrast with the hard lines of her furrowed brows.
Sighted: Kapu
Where: In bed asleep
Description: Astonishing
Side Note: You sleep for longer periods now than you did when you first let me into your room, into your private space, but your dreams are still troubled. It bothers me more than I can explain to think I might be a source for what troubles your mind in the night. I realize now how complicated I made things in trying to give you a perfect summer both professionally and personally. I kept dividing them as if they were two separate pieces of you rather than seeing the truth that was there all along—they're as intertwined for you as they are for me. I'm not sure if I didn't see it because you were so scared when you first came to us, or if it was from fighting so hard to stay neutral about you. It doesn't really matter I guess but I can't help wondering at the same time—I'm still learning to turn off the analytics with you.
I know for you it seems that my choice to stop separating us was sudden, and I admit it was a much quicker decision than others I've made about us, but it was also necessary and permanent. Anything—I mean this absolutely—anything that keeps us apart is flawed and unnecessary because together we're the best of ourselves. Our strengths complement each other and they allow us to push each other in all the areas we need it. You're teaching me to be relatable to a wider audience so that those meeting me for the first time don't mistake my logic for hubris or rudeness. I'm helping you discover just how strong you really are and how capable you are of conquering the fears that have been holding you back.
I had a talk with Whit not long ago about some concerns I had with my abilities as a mentor. He told me that as much as my logic helps me solve complex problems, it also creates ridiculous new ones. In my view, that's exactly what happened. I was so focused on protecting your career that I never saw the complications I was creating with my rigidity. I'm sorry for that. I'm also sorry it put you in the position to worry my decision about us wouldn't be permanent. I promise you, I have as much conviction right now as I did when I made my choice—the choice to be with you with no lines, no barriers of any kind between us is the right one for us. This relationship, it's not a summer fling or an impetuous moment of indiscretion. It's a connection that defies logic and encompasses every part of who we are and who we can grow to be. I promise that I'm excited to see where we go next, and I'd like to think you are too, and that this entry will give you the security you need to trust in me and my desire to be with you.
He couldn't help his cocky smile as the perfect ending came to him along with different enjoyable scenarios that played in his head. He wouldn't even really have to do anything; her curiosity would make the suspense a torture all on its own.
There's one last promise I want to make to you, kapu. It's from deep in my heart and I can't wait to come through on it. I promise there will be payback for last night's fiasco. You won't know when it's coming or what it'll be, but I promise you'll never forget it.
I love you.
- Edward
He chuckled at his brilliance until Bella stirred in her sleep. He looked up to see if she was waking or just burrowing further under the covers. It was the latter and he decided he should use the quiet of these early hours to catch up on her journal entries. He hadn't had a chance to read anything since before their dive in Buffel's Bay.
He made it about halfway through her entry before he could no longer contain the laughter trying to force its way out of him. She was just so damn excited and it came through in her writing in a way that made him feel her joy.
A sleepy voice asked, "What's so funny at—" She paused and picked her head up to look at the clock, letting out a groan once she saw the time. "Three in the morning?"
"Sorry," he said as he smiled at her. "Your exuberance got the best of me." He looked to the journal in his hand and then back to her. "Is it still okay for me to read it?"
Going on logic alone, there should be no issue with him reading it since she hadn't revoked his privilege. But as he was learning, logic had no place in a romantic relationship. He had screwed up majorly with how he'd treated her when he'd cut his hand and there was a good chance she'd written about it and might not be comfortable with him reading it just yet.
"What would you do if I said it wasn't?"
"I'd respect your choice and know it wasn't done out of spite." He smiled to relax her as he added, "And probably beat myself up some more for being such an asshat to you on Friday."
"Total asshat," she agreed through a yawn.
"Of course, that little stunt you pulled last night has almost certainly gotten me into a lot of hot water with your uncle so …" He purposefully didn't finish just to see how she'd respond.
Her cheeks started to turn pink just before they disappeared behind her pillow. "That really happened."
"What's that?" he asked chuckling. "I don't speak that kind of pillow talk."
When she didn't come out from behind the pillow, he climbed into the bed with her and tugged the pillow out of her arms, revealing her red face. "Come here," he said, still laughing a little as he slipped his arms around her.
"What part were you reading in my journal?"
"Your first dive with Whit and me." He grabbed the journal from the night stand and read her the part that had made him lose it. "It was a surreal moment made comical by my relief laughter as much as by my giant fear being realized through a tiny creature so much more afraid of me than I could ever be of it. I also must admit that as bad as I felt for causing Edward discomfort, I was also equally impressed his glare could still be so incredibly fierce from behind a scuba mask."
She giggled while reaching up to take the journal from him. "Tiny was definitely a highlight of that dive."
"And to think you were so sure you'd never like a shark."
"I wouldn't go that far, but it was nice to come across one that didn't incite a panic attack," she said while sliding the journal under the pillow above her.
"You put it away. Does that mean you don't want me reading it anymore?"
She lifted her brown eyes to meet his green ones. "I'm okay with you reading it but later because you might have questions and I'm too tired to answer."
While he believed the tired part, he didn't think it was the full truth. "Bella, it's your journal. If you don't want me to read it, I'll respect that."
"It really isn't about the journal. It's just …"
He gently prodded after she remained silent for few moments. "You can tell me anything, kapu. I hope you know that."
She smiled but it was in that sad way he hated. "I know. I've been searching for the right time but there never seems to be one."
"My mom has two sayings about that. The first you've heard plenty … you snooze, you lose. The second is that the right time is an imaginary moment we chose to believe in and hide behind out of fear."
"There's wisdom in both."
He smiled at her continued stalling. "Kapu, you're braver than this. Talk to me."
Her eyes finally met his again and the sadness there gripped his heart and had him holding her tighter.
"I remember." Two words said so softly but with so much weight attached.
"Your dad?" he guessed, already sure of it.
"The more I accomplish with MMR, the more I remember about the day of the accident. Not every detail but enough that it's changing how I look at my dad's death."
She tilted her head to see his face, allowing him to see the vulnerability in her eyes. Whatever else she wanted to say, he had to make sure she knew he was paying full attention. She needed him to know the same way he'd needed her to understand about Elizabeth.
"I checked with Uncle Carl to make sure of what was real and what was just in my head," she confided. "He said it was all real. He even shared with me some things from his perspective. I'd like to share with you if you feel up to it."
"I'd be honored," he said sincerely.
"You really mean that, don't you?"
He answered her question with one of his own. "Didn't you say that's how you feel when I tell you things about Elizabeth?"
"Always." She hugged him tightly and then she started to talk, already surprising him with the first few sentences by talking about her father as the man he had been and not in direct relation to the accident. "My dad had the best laugh and one of his favorite things to do was make other people laugh. A lot of people didn't expect his sense of humor because of how driven he was when he was working, but once they got to know him then they couldn't get enough of him. Sometimes when something really funny happens, I swear I can hear his laugh. I'm glad he was able to laugh that morning before everything went so wrong."
Masen had expected to hear the facts of that day but what she'd ended up sharing instead had been so much more. She'd shared her thoughts and feelings in those moments and how she felt about them now, spending a lot of time on the guilt she felt over being angry it was her uncle she'd first pulled out of the water. She'd told him of her attempts to scare off the shark by throwing things at it, a feat that many teenagers would not have been able to do since the natural reaction was to be crippled by the fear. There had been more guilt for the scars she'd left on her uncle's arms as she'd fought to free herself and go after her father, followed by the relief of knowing she had done all she could to try to save both her father and her uncle.
Masen had been able to tell she wasn't completely convinced her father had made the right choice in ensuring her survival over his own, but she was damn sure open to it now which was a huge step forward for her. Even a week ago she would've fought that idea with everything she had. She'd still clung to the belief that everything else in her world had fallen apart simply because she'd failed to save her father. Now that she was open to the idea that the accident was just a match in the fire, she could hopefully start to let go of the guilt she felt over Alice growing up without her parents and Carlisle having to raise his nieces. Regardless of whatever else came from this night, Masen felt it had damn sure been an honor to learn so much about his kapu and her family.
Now that Bella was asleep again, he slipped out of the bed to search for food and quiet his grumbling stomach. He was already picturing how good those plums he'd saved would be when he stepped into the kitchen and found Whit sitting on the counter and doing the unthinkable—eating one of Masen's plums.
"Bro, that's thievery on a major scale," Masen scolded.
Whit chuckled darkly. "You snooze, you lose."
"How the hell did I snooze? There's supposed to be a six-hour hold on food put into the fridge and it has not been six hours since I put those in there."
Whit's smile widened. "You should have eaten them on your date while you had the chance."
"He was too busy getting busy," Gopher said from behind Masen.
Masen moved to let Gopher into the kitchen; the man went straight for the coffee pot and turned it on.
"What are you two doing up? Were you just waiting to hear my door open?" Masen questioned.
Whit looked at him oddly. "Mase, it's four-thirty in the morning. Mandatory wake-up is in half an hour. It's not early."
Gopher chuckled. "He's having so much sex he's lost track of time."
"Don't be an asshat," Masen warned. He had no idea how Gopher knew there wasn't a line anymore but he also wasn't surprised. Few things stayed secret when you lived and worked with your family. "And for the record …" he continued, "… we were not having sex outside last night. Let it also be known that I was not the instigator."
"Bullshit," Whit and Gopher declared together.
"When have I ever lied to you, Whit?" Masen asked, looking right at his best friend.
Whit studied him for a moment. "I'm not saying you're lying, but we've seen you in action."
"Your ass has charmed perfect strangers into all kinds of shit," Gopher added.
"Oh like that time he got the girl at the Ocean Center to let us into the already full behind the scenes tour," Whit shared.
"Or the time he bullshitted those bouncers at that club to get us in so Lee could catch a glimpse of that singer she's all gaga over," Gopher stated. "That kind of power around a woman who loves you—It's suspect is all."
He rolled his eyes, annoyed they'd think he'd be that way with his kapu. "I don't want to charm Bella into doing anything. I want to do whatever makes her happy."
"Well now that's something," Gopher said, sounding impressed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Masen asked.
Whit reached out and gripped Masen's shoulder. "It means this is a new side to you and we like it. More importantly, I bet Bella likes it."
Gopher chuckled. "Slick fucker. Dude's in his first relationship and already he's got more game than an arena."
Whit cackled and then offered up, "More honey than a bee."
"More eggs than a chicken," Gopher continued.
Masen jumped in with, "More seal than a shark."
"Oh! More krill than a whale," Whit spouted.
"More nuts than a squirrel," Gopher contributed.
While the three of them were busy laughing like a group of high school boys, Esme walked past them and over to the coffee machine. She pulled the freshly brewed pot off and filled her cup. She took her time putting in her sugar and creamer, all the while not looking at the guys or saying anything to them.
After taking a long sip and making an exaggerated satisfied sigh, she smiled sweetly at them. "More ass than a chair." With her contribution delivered, she walked off with her cup.
Whit was the first to break from their frozen state. "Esme, I fucking love you!"
"I fucking love you too, sweetheart," she called back, causing all three men to laugh and snort.
"You gotta answer this for me, Mase," Gopher said. "How does your mom manage to curse and still sound like a classy lady?"
Masen snorted. "Hell if I know."
"It's simple," Whit said matter-of-factly. "She's a goddess trapped in human form."
"Are you sure you're in love with Alice?" Masen joked.
Whit grinned. "I can appreciate the beauty of many a woman but my heart only belongs to one."
"Speaking of that one," Gopher started. "Can we please talk about how someone so little can be full of so much damn energy? She's like a female Flash."
"She tried to hug me," Masen told them, saying it as if it was the craziest thing to happen to him lately.
Gopher laughed. "You sound scared, Mase."
Masen shrugged. "I wasn't sure she'd let go once she latched on."
"She was really excited to do that for you and Bella," Whit said.
Masen grinned. "Clearly."
Lee sauntered into the kitchen wearing a devious grin. "Morning, Whit."
"Honey," she said as she stopped to kiss Gopher's cheek.
She got to Masen and told him, "Morning, Horndog."
He pulled her against him with one arm and started tickling her with the other, making her squeal and the guys laugh. "Such a damn brat, Lee-lee."
"You should have kept your hands to yourself," she told him through her laughter.
"Wasn't his hands doing the wandering," Gopher informed her.
Lee came to a complete stop and looked up at Masen with wide eyes. "Seriously?"
He nodded.
She grinned wide. "That's my girl. But we have really gotta talk about her timing."
Masen snorted. "You do that."
A very grumpy looking Alice wandered in at that moment. "How are you guys always so happy this early in the morning?"
"It's the start of a brand new day open to a million possibilities," Whit answered as he hopped down and put an arm around her.
"Yeah and today's parasailing day," Lee stated. The even tone of her voice and the excited smile on her face was enough to make anyone believe her, especially someone like Alice who hardly knew her.
"Parasailing?" Alice sputtered, saying it like it was the scariest thing imaginable. "That's fly fishing for sharks!"
They cracked up at that, even Esme could be heard laughing from the living room, while Alice stood there still looking petrified.
"Has the teasing commenced already?" Bella asked as she joined them in the kitchen.
Alice spun around and clamped her arms around her sister. "Don't go parasailing. Please. Please promise me. I don't want you to be shark bait."
Without even thinking, Whit, Masen, and Gopher chanted the line from Finding Nemo, "Shark bait, ooh ha ha."
"What? Parasailing?" Bella looked to Masen for the answers. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," he assured her. "Lee's joke just went a little too far. You're sorry, Lee, aren't you?"
Lee grinned. "Who said I was joking?"
Masen leaned in to speak into her ear. "The kid sister tried all day yesterday. You can try this once. If not for me, do it for Bella."
Lee sighed but she also gave in. "Sorry, Alice. I was only teasing but I should have thought of how you worry for your sister. Just so you know, we never parasail in strange waters. We go parasailing back home some but always on clear days."
Alice relaxed her grip on Bella but didn't let go as she turned her head to look at Lee. "Don't you ever worry at all about getting bit?"
"All the time," Lee answered honestly. "But I don't let it stop me. If I let every worry I have control what I do, then I'd never do anything. That's not the kind of life I want."
"She's right, Alice," Bella said. "I still have a ways to go, but I am so much happier now than I was when I first joined the team."
Alice allowed her fear to clearly show on her face. "But not all change is good. What if in trying to get rid of one fear, you make a whole new one? Or what if you lose all the good it took so long to build?"
Bella gripped her sister's shoulders and smiled kindly at her. "We are not our mother, Alice. We are not going to give up on each other just because things are tough or sad. Uncle Carl isn't going to give up on us or leave us. We are always together, Alice, even when there's emotional or physical distance between us."
"Ohana," Masen said as he hugged Lee and smiled at Bella.
"Ohana," Bella agreed with a bright smile. She looked down at Alice and said, "Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."
"Okay," Alice replied, trying to be brave and smile. "But can you please still not parasail?"
"Alice," Bella said through her chuckles. "You know I barely tolerate flying."
"Oh." Alice blushed as red as Bella ever had. "I forgot."
"That's what fear does," Gopher pointed out. "It makes you forget what you know and fills your head with bad stuff. That's why it's important to fight it, to keep it from controlling how you think and feel and react."
Alice looked suspicious of him. "Says the guy who's strong enough to never have to be afraid of anything."
"Except of not being strong enough to protect my family."
Alice's jaw dropped.
Whit pulled her away from Bella and into his arms. "Alice, we've all got something we're afraid of for some reason. The only difference between us and you is that we refuse to let the fear be in control."
"Guess I'm adding that to my long list of fixes, huh?" she asked, looking up at him.
"Only you can answer that, and only when you're ready," he told her.
"I'm ready for food and torturing Masen," Lee announced. "Who's with me?"
"Hold on now," Masen said, keeping his arm locked around her. "Why didn't I hear Bella's name in that sentence?"
Lee didn't miss a beat. "She's dating you. That's torture enough."
Once the laughter subsided, everyone started moving around the kitchen. Whit, Lee, and Gopher fought over the coffee machine while Alice and Bella pulled out the milk and Hershey's chocolate syrup. Masen stood back and took in all of the activity, enjoying the emotional calm of a morning where everyone was getting along and in a good mood.
Movement seen from the corner of his eye caused him to look toward the entryway and notice Carlisle standing there. There was a stern look on the man's face as he pointed first at Masen, then at Whit, and then toward the room Alice was using. Masen instantly went from relaxed to alert, nodding to show he understood.
He walked up to Whit and whispered, "Carlisle wants to see you and me."
"Shit," Whit hissed. "I knew he'd heard Alice come downstairs last night."
"Perfect. Just what he wanted to hear after almost seeing Bella with her hand—" He was cut off by Whit's elbow pushing into his stomach.
"Shut up so we can go face the man before we piss him off more," Whit demanded.
The two friends used the scramble for drinks and breakfast to their advantage and slipped out of the kitchen unnoticed.
"Where to?" Whit asked.
"Alice's room," Masen answered while guiding him by his shoulders.
"Shit. Out of hearing range," Whit lamented. "We are so fucked, bro."
Masen was ready to jump out of his skin, having zero knowledge of what to do with an angry father. "What do we do? What do we say?"
"You say as little as possible. Last thing we need is your logical responses getting us in more trouble. Let me do the talking and smooth things over with him."
Masen nodded, feeling relieved that Whit had come up with a solid plan so quickly.
They entered the room to find Carlisle scowling while standing at his full height with his arms crossed. In Masen's opinion, the man was the epitome of a seriously pissed off dad. It created an overwhelming need to apologize and made Masen forget all about the plan to let Whit do all the talking.
"Carlisle, I'm sorry if you felt any disrespect at all last night. I take full responsibility for it and I assure you it will not happen again."
Carlisle immediately relaxed and even grinned. "Amazing. I was so sure Esme was wrong on this one and I'd never pull it off but clearly I did. And thank you for the apology, Masen. I know it wasn't your idea and I appreciate you shielding my niece by taking responsibility for it."
"What?" Masen and Whit blurted out.
"I know, I'm just as shocked as you two that I pulled off the angry dad look," Carlisle confided with a chuckle. "Charles was always the scary one. He'd have sat you two down at the table and cleaned his shotgun in front of you. Of course, he could have just as easily threatened to shoot you both in front of everyone. He always had a flare for the dramatic. I suppose that's where Alice gets it from.
"As for myself, I'm a direct man. I like to lay everything out on the table from the start so there's never a question of where we stand with each other. I'm trusting you two." He paused, seemingly to give them a moment to let his words sink in.
"Trusting us with what, Sir?" Whit asked.
"Sir? Really?" Masen's expression and tone made it clear he was annoyed at such obvious sucking up. Even he knew you didn't try to suck up to an angry parent.
"Shut up. It might help. If nothing else, it's respectful," Whit defended.
"It won't help," Carlisle assured them. "But it is respectful and it's very important that the three of us respect each other. I am trusting you two with the most precious parts of my life. I have shielded them, loved them, provided for them, and filled in as many gaps as I could for them. I have done my best, though I know my best wasn't enough at times. I take responsibility for Alice's immature behavior of late and I apologize for the hurt it caused you both. I shielded her too much, allowing her to ignore her fears instead of facing them. I want you both to know I appreciate your willingness to forgive her."
Whit shook his head in disagreement. "You shouldn't feel responsible and it's not your fault as the parent. You're a guide for them but it's up to them if they follow. What happened with Alice was a bad point of view that led her to make bad choices. And we all see how hard she's working to make things right. Don't we, Mase?"
"She is trying," Masen agreed. "Bella really appreciated the surprise date." No sooner than the words left his mouth, he started considering kicking himself. He had basically been out of the fire and now he'd thrown himself right back into it.
Carlisle got a little red around the ears and neck. "Yes, well, last night—I'd appreciate it if you two gentlemen tried a little harder to keep your public displays g-rated. I know my girls are women now and are very much in love, and they're excited to experience that love. I only ask that you both make an effort to allow me to walk around without seeing that love being expressed in private ways."
Masen's own awkwardness was evident in his reply. "I will. I mean I won't! I mean we won't in public. Sir."
"Sir? Really?" Whit teased, throwing Masen's earlier response back at him.
"I'm not looking to make either of you nervous," Carlisle assured them. "I honestly want us to build mutual respect for each other. Most of all, I want for the trust I'm putting in you to remain intact. Treat my girls the way you'd want your own mothers treated, with respect and dignity. Trust them, listen to them, be honest with them, encourage them, and above all protect them. If you do those things for them, they will give it all right back to you." He paused and then added, "One last thing … I won't always comment, but I'm always watching. When it comes to my girls, you do not want to give me a reason to be angry with you."
"We won't," Whit promised.
"We love your girls and we'll do all we can to ensure they're happy," Masen vowed.
"Excellent," Carlisle replied with a smile. "That's all I needed to hear. Now we can join the others and enjoy a family breakfast."
Masen quickly stepped forward to keep Carlisle from leaving. "Could I talk to you alone for a moment?"
"Certainly," he agreed.
"See you guys in a bit," Whit said, turning for the door. He knew he would find out soon enough so he had no problem leaving.
"Son, before you go," Carlisle called, getting Whit to turn his head and look at him. He gave a knowing smile and said, "Please let my darling Alice know she doesn't have to sneak to your room or mess up this bed to hide her absence from it."
Whit was the one with a red face this time. "Yes, Sir."
Masen had been grinning over his best friend getting busted but then the door clicked shut and Carlisle spoke. "Now what to do about you, Masen?"
Masen swallowed thickly, never having attempted anything like this before. He chose his words carefully, wanting to be respectful of a delicate subject. "Bella told me about her memories coming back and she shared everything she knows about what happened that day. I just wanted to say thank you to you. Thank you for saving her and keeping her safe. Thank you for never making her feel like it was her fault."
Carlisle smiled and damn if it wasn't that sad one Masen hated so much on Bella's pretty face. "Son, I would venture a guess that at this point you know the big truth about our Bella … There's nothing we won't do for her. She's the kind of good soul that deserves every happiness, every protection we can manage to give her simply because she never gives us anything less."
"I do," Masen agreed.
"She's come so far with your help. I've glimpsed the girl she was before Charles' death and now I'm seeing the woman she would have been had he lived. I can never repay you for these things. I can only give you my sincere thanks as a proud fill-in father."
"You're not a fill-in, Carlisle. Not to her. You're the real deal and your approval means the world to her." Masen knew that had to sound like he was sucking up but he truly meant every word.
"Thank you, Masen. I appreciate your candor with me and everything you are doing for Bella."
"I'm honestly just telling you what I've learned from listening to her talk about you."
"Then allow me to repay the favor … You are exactly the kind of man her father wanted for her. Practical but loving, encouraging yet protective, and able to put her happiness first. Charles would really have enjoyed getting to know you, just as I have enjoyed it."
Masen was literally speechless over receiving such a compliment, especially after expecting to get his ass chewed for last night's fiasco.
"I would like you to know," Carlisle continued. "I have tried over the years to convince her she has no reason to feel guilty. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I didn't turn on the radio soon enough and I didn't try hard enough to make Charles get back on the boat. I thought there was time."
"Carlisle, you and Bella did everything right," Masen insisted. "Everything we're told to do when there's a shark in the area. Hell, you kicked the shark to get it away from her and cut your foot in the process."
"I did try to keep my foot out of the water but there wasn't much I could do." In that moment, Carlisle's own guilt and pain was so plainly written on his face.
Masen put a hand on Carlisle's shoulder, hoping it would comfort the man the way Whit's hand always did for him. "With complete certainty and years of research backing me up, I promise you the shark didn't stick around because of your cut any more than it stuck around because Bella made it mad by hitting it with a shoe. It was a bull and they are extremely territorial. Once they decide something belongs to them, that's it. So please, just as I've said to Bella a hundred times, you did all you could and have no reason to feel guilty."
Carlisle nodded but it seemed a lot like how Bella nodded when she wasn't sure of what to say. He ended the silence between them by asking, "A hundred? Has it really been that many?"
"At least," Masen assured him, smiling as he did it. "And I'll tell her a hundred more times if that's what it takes for her to finally believe it."
Carlisle's features relaxed and he even smiled a little. "You're a good man, and I'm glad to have you as her man."
"Esme gets all the credit," Masen replied.
"As Whit said earlier, she is only the guide and it's up to you to follow."
Masen grinned as he held his hand out and once Carlisle took hold for a shake, he said to him, "Thank you, Sir. I plan to make sure you don't regret giving me your trust."
"See that you do, son. Now let's get out there before your mother decides we need her help."
Masen snorted. "She can be a little bossy," he allowed.
Carlisle let loose a full laugh. "That's like saying the ocean is a little wet."
"You know I have to defend her, right?" Masen asked, grinning wide.
"You better. You are her kid after all."
The two shared a laugh and then left the bedroom to join the others. Masen was pleasantly surprised at how well the conversation had gone and he appreciated the way Carlisle had been straight with them about his expectations. Even more, he valued his belief that he was good for Bella.
Masen opened the door while moving aside to let Carlisle pass through first. The first thing he noticed was Whit being cornered by Alice and Bella so he quickly scooted into the kitchen where he could see and hear them through the cutaway over the sink.
"I am serious," Whit insisted. "Your uncle laid down the law and the smackdown and the fatherly fury all at once."
Masen pushed his lips together to keep from laughing out loud. Leave it to Whit to use this as a way to mess with them. I should probably interrupt before he digs himself in too deep. Then again, he is a pro at this stuff so why not just stand back and be entertained?
"It has to stop, Alice. As much as I love you, you can't come into my room when Carlisle is in the house. I do not want to incur that man's wrath."
"Are you sure you're talking about my uncle?"
"He was the only adult in the room."
"You and Masen are adults too," she pointed out.
"Yeah, but he's an adult-adult and we're still in training."
"Why is Edward still in there?" Bella asked, looking very suspicious of Whit.
Whit shrugged. "I guess 'cause his infraction was way worse than mine. He was canoodling in public."
"But it wasn't him," Bella insisted. "I should go tell my uncle that."
"Sure. Go tell him," Whit agreed. "Of course, it's going to make things a hell of a lot worse for Masen, but he probably deserves a little extra crap after the run of mistakes he's made lately."
"Why would it make things worse?" Alice questioned.
"Because Carlisle will see that as solid proof Masen corrupted Bella, much like you believed when you first got here," Whit explained.
"So what do we do? How do we get you guys out of trouble?" Alice asked.
Whit grinned wide and Masen just knew whatever was about to fly out of his friend's mouth would be complete nonsense. The only thing he didn't know was if Bella and Alice would find it funny or if they'd get mad at him.
"Well first you have to put your right foot in," Whit shared. "Then you take your right foot out. You put your right foot in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey—"
They both yelled his name and they each began smacking his shoulders while he laughed too hard to protect himself. Masen enjoyed it all from his hidden spot right up until he snorted and alerted Bella to his presence.
"How long have you been standing there?" she asked, leaning into the opening.
"I just got here," he replied, smiling far too wide for anyone to believe him.
"What really happened in that room?"
"Come here and maybe I'll tell you."
"Maybe?"
He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders, pretty sure that her curiosity would get her into the kitchen.
He ended up being right and as he enjoyed the feel of her lips and the way her curves fit against him, he was stricken by just how lucky he was to share this with her. She could have decided he wasn't worth the trouble. Her uncle could have forced her home after the ray incident. Her sister could have torn them apart. Instead they were closer than ever and he basically had her uncle's blessing to date her.
She smiled while looking up at him with her gorgeous caramel eyes, her fingers sliding through his mess of hair. "So what really happened in that room?" she asked. "Are you in trouble with Uncle Carl?"
"We talked, we agreed to respect each other, and I assured him your happiness is very important to me."
"Very?" she questioned with a big grin.
He answered while leaning in for a kiss. "Supremely."
She pulled her lips away so she could ask, "Whit couldn't be there to hear that?"
Masen took a moment to brush her hair from her shoulders and decide on how to phrase his response. The last thing he wanted to do was add to the hurt she felt in connection to her father. "Life is a bunch of little moments that come together to make a big picture. Without Carlisle's involvement, the chances of you ever coming into my life dwindle to nothing. That's worth a 'thank you'. Plus, sometimes parents need to know they're doing a good job."
Her brows drew in which he'd learned meant she was puzzled. "Did it seem like he didn't already know that? I always thank him anytime he does anything for me."
"Any concerns he has, it's not because you haven't let him know he's appreciated. It's just a side effect of being a parent who cares. You see all the stuff Esme does for me but I bet you'd be surprised to know she worries all the time that she hasn't done enough to make sure I have a good life."
"That's just crazy, Edward. Esme is so loving towards you that no one could ever know she's one of two moms, not unless you told them."
"I agree it seems crazy, but that doesn't stop it from being true."
"Well what can I do to let him know he doesn't have to worry?"
"Nothing you can do, kapu. It's his right as a parent—something Esme tells me all the time." His answer brought a frown to her face and all he wanted was to get rid of it. "He knows you love him, Bella. That's the important part."
A little of her smile came back. "That is important."
"You know what else is important?" he asked, pulling her completely against him.
"That we have good weather today and end it no harm, no foul?"
"Bigger than that."
She tapped her chin as if she was really considering ideas but the playfulness in her eyes said otherwise. "A jumping white cooperates and lets you get tons of amazing pictures?"
He answered her teasing with some of his own, brushing his lips and stubble against that sensitive spot on her neck that always made her shiver. "Even bigger."
"What could possibly be bigger than that for Edward Masen, supreme shark researcher?"
He gently gripped her face in his hands, making sure she could see how much he meant his answer. "You."
Her full smile touched her lips and shined in her eyes as she said, "Aloha Au Ia 'Oe, Edward."
He responded with action rather than words, meeting her lips and pouring everything she made him feel into the kiss. He felt it when her knees went weak and held her tighter while fighting the smile that wanted to break out and end their kiss. Through all of his adventures, all of his research, and his experiments, nothing compared to the excitement he felt when kissing her. There was no practical reason for these two mouths connecting to feel so wildly different from any other kiss he'd shared, and yet it was. There could be only one explanation for it no matter how much it might defy every bit of logic he knew … He had found the woman made to love him, just as Elizabeth had always told him he would—just as she had been made for his father.
"~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~~^"
"Masen."
He pretended not to hear in hopes of enjoying his Lucky Charms in peace.
Alice dashed those hopes by sitting down in the chair Bella had recently vacated. "Masen, can I ask you something?"
"Whit's outside helping Gopher make sure we packed everything." He immediately shoved a huge spoonful of cereal in, hoping she'd get the hint that he was hungry and not in the mood for conversation.
She didn't. "Does your mom always stay on land when you guys go out? Does she ever tag along to see what it is you do?"
With a sigh, he put his spoon down and looked up at her. "Why?"
"Just curious."
He answered quickly in a flat, factual tone. "No, she doesn't always stay in the rental house. She tags along pretty often and even jumps in to help, though she likes to wait until we have a feel for the water. This summer has been an exception because of Carlisle being here at the house."
"What does that mean, waiting until you have a feel for the water?"
"She figures she's avoiding the time period where an accident is most likely to occur. She's a bad ass but she's still a mom and no mom wants to see her kids hurt."
He picked up his spoon, planning to take another bite of his cereal but stopped at the wide-eyed look on Alice's face. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did—she had something else she wanted. His impatience had him growling at her.
Alice was so flustered by the sound that her cheeks started to redden. "Did you—did you just growl at me?"
"My cereal's getting soggy. Just ask me already so I can eat," he demanded.
"You are so crabby."
"Alice," he hissed, staring hard at her.
"Right. Um …" Her entire face was red now. "You're leaving with the team for four days on the same day Uncle Carl leaves for two weeks to conduct interviews. I was just thinking that has to make your mom sad, and maybe lonely too. Maybe she might like to go with him, to share in his life the way he's been here sharing in hers. Maybe you could encourage her to go with him."
Masen considered her viewpoint while watching his mom interact with Carlisle and Lee. She seemed happy enough, sharing in their laughter, but he knew it wasn't the only thing she was feeling. It was written in the lines at the edges of her lips and the way she kept her hand on Carlisle's shoulder.
Masen thought back to when Bella had been stuck here at the house with her injured leg and he'd been on Galeos, working and trying damn hard not to miss her. He felt like a giant horse's ass for never having thought of his mom feeling the same way about Carlisle—and even worse that Alice had noticed his mom's sadness before he had.
"I'd be glad to watch the house for you," Alice offered.
He looked at her exactly as she deserved—as if she was insane. "You are out of your mind if you think we're going to leave you alone in a country where you don't speak the language. If Esme wants to go with your uncle, you'll have to come on the boat."
"What about your dog?"
He gave her that same look from before. "My dog goes where I go."
"So then you'll mention it to Esme, that going with my uncle is an option?"
Masen decided to use this as an opportunity to mess with Alice and get a little harmless revenge. "I don't know yet. You haven't agreed to the conditions for boarding my boat."
"What conditions?" The worry in her voice made him grin.
"For starters, you can't interfere with the work of any of my crew."
"I can promise that won't be an issue."
He wasn't sure how much he believed that, but he'd try to trust her until she gave him a reason not to. "A few other things are that you can-not question me about the work I assign my team, you have to help with meal prep, and if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything."
"Those all—"
He interrupted her just to mess with her further and really sell that this last one was the big one. "And the most important condition of all … I'm going to need you to take care of my best girl. Lots of attention, encouraging words, back rubs, and treats."
"Treats?" She was clearly confused and trying to equate treats and her sister, which was exactly what he'd intended.
His shitty grin came out in full force. "Lizzy loves her treats."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Oh brother. You know, you're really weird for calling your dog your best girl when you're dating my sister."
"Your sister's not a girl," he said, glancing toward the closed bedroom door and wondering when Bella would come out and what she'd be wearing. She'd threatened to wear that damn Barbie shirt that drove him to distraction—he couldn't decide whether or not he wanted it to be an idle threat.
"So basically I have to babysit your dog?"
He shrugged his shoulder for effect. "This is non-negotiable, Thumper. If you want to be on my boat, you'll spend the daylight hours inside taking care of my dog and staying out of my team's way."
Alice looked away from him and toward Carlisle and Esme. Her head tilted side to side the way Bella's sometimes did when she was thinking hard. Finally, Alice looked back at him and nodded once. "I agree. I owe it to Esme to make sure she can go if she wants."
It was only because he could tell Alice truly meant what she was saying about his mom that Masen agreed to let her back on his boat. He then dismissed her by returning his focus to his cereal. Of course it was soggy by then and he had no choice but to toss it out.
It was as he was coming out of the kitchen that he overheard Bella and Alice talking and followed their voices to his room.
"I'm serious, Bella. He growled at me. Like an actual growl. Like he was some kind of lion or something."
Bella smiled devilishly. "I happen to like the animal side of him."
Alice's mouth moved like a fish out of water and after trying and failing to get a word out, she turned and left the room, nearly bumping into him on her way out.
Bella's attention was focused on something in the closet so she never noticed Masen watching her. She had chosen her Love shirt over her Barbie shirt, and had on that same pair of paint splattered shorts from their trip to the Ocean Center. He felt a twinge of guilt over his behavior that day but quickly brushed it off knowing there'd be no repeat of it—ever.
He smiled as a mischievous idea struck him and then he carefully entered the room to sneak up behind her. He locked his arms around her, holding her tight against his chest so she couldn't get away, and pressed his mouth to her neck. He growled against her skin, sending such a strong shudder through her that he could feel it.
"I'll growl for you any time, kapu. All you have to do is ask."
"I said I liked your animal side, not … not the ass one," she replied, faltering when he kissed her behind her ear.
His humming against her skin made her shiver in his arms. He smiled at the effect he had on her and said, "I've been known as a jackass at times and I'm pretty sure that is in fact an animal."
He felt her shoulders shift and figured she was going to turn to smack him so he distracted her by covering the back of her neck with open-mouth kisses until he felt her melt into his body.
He barely got to enjoy his victorious smile before she found the will to pull away and turn on him, jabbing her finger into his chest. "Behave."
He lifted his hands in innocence. "It was just a few kisses."
She snorted. "That's like saying the ocean's a little wet."
He coaxed her back into his arms with a repentant look. "So Alice thinks Esme doesn't know she has the option to go off with your uncle."
Bella said nothing and kept her face neutral, which he'd learned meant she wanted to hear his thoughts before she shared her own.
"Esme doesn't need permission. She can go wherever she pleases," he said, knowing right away it had come off defensive. "What I mean is, she can always go but maybe she hasn't thought about going because she's used to being here for all of us."
"She probably hasn't thought about it," Bella agreed. "But I bet she'd be really happy to hear you thought of it."
"Don't you mean your sister?"
She smiled sweetly at him. "I think it's okay if you steal the credit this once. And my sister does owe you plenty for her past bad behavior."
He quickly did the math in his head, figuring in the team's work days and off days. "I won't see her for twenty days."
"I know that seems like a long time, Edward, but it'll pass quickly with all the work we have ahead of us. And when she does come back, we can have her and my uncle come aboard and see how much progress I've made after all our hard work. I know that'll mean Alice coming too but by then I think things will be a lot better between us all."
Masen nervously rubbed at the bridge of his nose.
"What?" Bella asked, her brown eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Tell me."
"The thing is, if Esme does want to go, then Alice needs a place to go. I told her she could come on the boat as long as she behaved."
"Sounds to me like there's only one thing left to do with this …" Bella leaned up and kissed his lips softly. "Go talk with your mom."
He stole another kiss just because it was too damn hard to walk away after only one, and then borrowed his mom for a private chat in her room.
"Alright, Kid, what's crawled up into your brain and festered there?" Esme asked, eyeing him closely.
"Nothing," he answered with a laugh. "I thought it was time to change things up so instead of asking you for advice, I want to offer you some."
Her posture relaxed and she plopped down on the end of her bed. "I am officially intrigued. Do tell."
"I was thinking now might be a good time for you to have a break."
"I will in about half an hour," she said, glancing at her watch and grinning at him.
"No, I meant a real one. I think you should go with Carlisle."
Esme only blinked.
"You do so much for all of us and I thought it was time you did something for yourself. You can go with him and check out his home and his office, and we'll take Alice and Lizzy with us."
"Edward, he's going to be gone much longer than four days."
"Twenty," he rattled off automatically. He looked away, not wanting his worry to influence her decision. "We won't see each other for twenty days."
"That's an awful long time."
"I know but …" He let his frustration out in a sigh, hating that he couldn't be better at hiding his feelings for her sake. He really did want her to feel like going would be a great vacation. "I love you and I want you to be happy and this will make you a hell of a lot happier than being here for us on our few days off."
Esme went to him and took his face into her hands, getting him to look at her. "You have such a big heart. It's always been one of my favorite things about you, Kid."
"You should go, Mom. You should find out everything you can about him, especially since you seem pretty set on sharing your life with him. I'll miss you like crazy, but I know this is the right thing for you."
"Twenty," she said with a sigh as she pulled his forehead down to rest against hers. "We haven't gone that long without seeing each other in a very long time."
"We can use that thing on Gopher's iPad. If Carlisle doesn't have one for you to use, I'll buy you one. In fact, I'll buy us each one and that way Gopher can't say I'm hogging his tech."
"I promise to bring you back a souvenir," she joked, trying to get him to return her smile.
"Pfftt! You better get me a souvenir for every day you're over there."
"Done."
He lifted his head so that he could give her a proper hug. "We can do this."
"Of course we can," she agreed immediately. "We're Team Masen. Nothing can defeat us."
"A plane ticket might," he said while letting go of her. "You better get out there and get Carlisle to help you secure one."
Esme's face lit up with a huge smile and she planted a loud smack of a kiss on his cheek. "I love the hell out of you, Kid."
He chuckled. "I love the hell out of you too, Mom."
She bolted for the door and practically ran up behind Carlisle, throwing her arms around his neck. "Guess who's coming to dinner?" She didn't waste any time in answering. "Me!"
Masen smiled for her happiness even as his stomach dropped. Twenty days without her. Twenty days of her being over half a day away should something happen. Not that being right beside her would make a difference if something did happen but at least he'd be there for her.
"She's really happy," Bella said as she wound her arms around his chest. "I know this is hard on you, but it's the right thing to do. And I'm right here. If you want to talk or just want a hug, I'm right here."
He brought his forehead to rest on her shoulder and breathed her in before responding. "Just promise me she'll have a good time. Promise he won't get lost in his work and forget that she's alone at his house waiting for him. He won't—" His arms tightened around her even as he fought against the need to hold on to her in order to let his mom go. "He won't be like me. Promise me that."
The feel of her hand on his neck calmed some of the agitation he was feeling. "Edward, I promise you that my uncle will make sure she has a great time. If he does have to leave her at the house, he'll make sure Mrs. Cope is there and no one has ever felt lonely around her." She pressed her lips to his cheek and then whispered into his ear, leaving him unsure if the shudder he fought was from her touch or her words. "For the record, you have never made me feel forgotten no matter how deeply you've gotten lost in your work."
His body relaxed even as his mind continued to spin with scenarios. It would have to be enough for now because they had work to do today and he was excited for that even if he didn't look it at the moment. Standing there clinging to her with his face hidden against her shoulder, he probably looked like a giant momma's boy who couldn't let go. He could let go, though, and he was letting go. It just also happened to be a really hard thing for him to do. Bella was making it a little easier and for that he was extremely grateful. "Mahalo, kapu."
"That means 'thank you', right?"
"Yeah."
"How do I say 'you're welcome'?"
A small secret smile curved his lips. "You just did."
"I meant in Hawaiian."
"There isn't an equivalent. The closest thing would be to say 'no problem'. A'ole pilikia."
"Yeah, I'd butcher that and accidentally offend someone so I'll just stick with you're welcome."
His secret smile widened at her words. "You are adorable, kapu."
She tapped his shoulder until he lifted his head. "That much I know. But am I helping at all?"
"You're helping. And I knew she would stop traveling with us but I wasn't expecting it so soon. But it's the natural progression, right? They both love to travel so their life together will have lots of trips and sometimes they won't include the rest of us. It's just hard not to worry about her being so far—" He froze at the feel of an unfamiliar hand on his shoulder.
"Masen."
He shifted to face Carlisle. "Did you get a ticket for my mom?"
"I did," Carlisle answered with a genuine smile. "I wanted to express my appreciation to you." His eyes flicked to Bella for a quick second and then he continued. "I know having someone so precious to you so far away is not easy. You have my word that I will make this a wonderful trip for her and I'll take the absolute best care of her."
"Thank you." Masen offered his hand for a shake but Carlisle pushed it aside to give him a hug instead.
"I know what letting her go means to you, Masen. Thank you for putting her ahead of your worries."
Masen shrugged. "I love my mom. I'd do anything for her."
"Move aside, move aside!" Esme excitedly ordered. "I have to pack. Well actually first I have to decide what to pack and then I have to pack."
Carlisle chuckled at her exuberance. "No need to rush. We've got time and I'll help you pack."
Esme stopped and took a deep breath. "You're right. Got a little excited there but I am the picture of calm now."
Masen and Carlisle looked at each other and smiled, knowing full well she was not now, nor would ever be, the picture of calm.
"Besides, I can't pack yet," she continued as she reached over to ruffle Masen's already wild hair. "I have to see my misfits off for their newest round of research."
"Bella!" Alice called as she burst through the doorway. "I'm so excited that I can't decide what to pack. Please come help me. Pretty please."
"We'll both help," Esme offered, taking Bella by the shoulders. "Edward, you should put together everything you need for Lizzy to be comfortable."
"Already have the list in my head," he promised, tapping a finger against his temple.
"What can I do to be of help?" Carlisle asked once the ladies had vacated the room.
Masen answered him with complete openness and honesty. "Just make sure my mom has a good time. That's really all I need."
Carlisle nodded.
As they were leaving Esme's room, the object on the chair by the door gave Masen a thought that he felt compelled to share with Carlisle. "Books."
"Excuse me?"
"Books. Mom loves them. If you have any libraries that are in cool buildings or that have really old books, she loves seeing them."
"What about local bookshops?"
"Those too. Just be careful with scheduling your time because she can spend hours in a single shop. We found this one little bookstore in Spain and she literally spent all of our daylight hours in it."
"Books are absolutely on the agenda then," Carlisle assured him.
"Is it true?" Whit asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. He waited until Carlisle walked past them to ask his second question. "Esme's off to Florida?"
Masen nodded and tried to act as if it was no big deal. "Carlisle's been scoping out our lives so now it's time she got a look at his."
"Oh so we're gonna take the 'pretend this is normal' route on this one."
"For now, yeah. I need my mind to be on the work, especially since we're expecting murky conditions."
"That's fine for today but don't think this will fly tonight."
Masen grinned and hooked his arm around his best friend's neck, pulling him closer. "I'd never dream of it, bro."
"Sure, sure," Whit replied with a laugh.
"Hey, I do need one thing, though," Masen said as he released Whit.
"Anything for you. You know that."
"Your technical abilities. I need you to order iPads for Mom and me, whatever are the current best on the market and get them shipped as fast as possible."
"Gonna have to hand over that shiny black card, bro," Whit said, smiling and rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
"Do not get tempted," Masen warned. "I know how hard you've been eyeing that Jet Ski but it's not your birthday or Christmas."
"You could just buy it for me because you love me."
"Already did that. That's how you ended up with the Ducati."
"Hey, you drive my kick ass super bike almost as much as I do so it's kind of like it's for both of us."
Masen knew the only way to end this conversation and he grinned as he deployed it. "If you want to sign the Ducati over to me, then you can order the Jet Ski today and have it delivered the same day we get home."
Whit shook his head furiously. "No way. No way in hell am I signing over my super bike. I love that bike."
Masen handed over his card. "Order the tech and then give the card back and your super bike remains yours."
Whit let out a sigh. "I thought you loved me, bro."
With a big grin, Masen used one of Esme's phrases on him. "It's because I love you that I give you what you need rather than what you want."
"Responsible you isn't nearly as much fun as adventurous you."
"The more you talk, the longer it takes for today's adventure to start," Masen pointed out.
"It already did, Mase. Esme's going on a trip and for the first time in forever we're not going with her. That's going to be one hell of an adventure for all of us."
Whit walked away to find and order the tech Masen wanted, leaving him standing alone in the hall with too many thoughts in his head. He shut it all down, pushing his mind to focus on today's to-do list.
First up was getting everyone packed and out of the house which meant a trip downstairs for the plastic bin he used to tote around Lizzy's essentials. Once they were at the boat, he'd get Lee and Whit to help him run a quick diagnostic check on Galeos to make sure she was ready for travel, and Gopher could get Bella and Alice to help him put away all the groceries they were bringing to restock the boat. They'd sail back into False Bay, probably Zone 4 again, and then they'd get a look at the water and decide which level of murky it reached. Masen was hoping for "medium visibility" which would mean they could still do some work. If they hit "impaired vision", then there'd be no water work but they'd still work. His backup plan was to tour the area on the skiff to see if there were any visible signs of changed shark behavior based on the change in the water, things like more discarded penguins as a sign of a higher number of accidental bites. With that much work on his mind, there was no room for thoughts or feelings about his mom's trip.