Disclaimer: BTVS is the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Spoilers: Some of Season 3, 4 and 5.

Summary: A look at the lives of the two slayers from Faith's perspective.

Author's note: This is slightly AU. Time wise it's set circa Season 5, with some of the events of Season 3 and Season 4 having already happened, but with one key difference – Faith didn't go all out bad at the end of Season 3 and Buffy never tried to kill her. It's my take on what might have happened if Faith had stuck around when they all went off to college.

Faith's Journal

May 2000

So we're training right. And there she is. All blonde and sweaty and totally kicking some class A-ass with the new punch bag Giles got for her. He got me stuff too. I went three rounds with Xander in a padded suit...cool. Pretended it was Army Boy and kicked the shit out of him. I seem to be burning off more energy than I ever used to, or at least I need to burn it off and don't always get the chance. Things are slow on the Hellmouth since the government boys vacated for sunnier climes, leaving one G.I. Joe behind that they shouldn't have. Don't know why but the guy just winds me up the wrong way. He's so square looking, and he's like built for pounding the bad guys but all he ever does is follow B around like a lost puppy, talking the talk but not walking the walk. Nah, 'cause that's our jobs so he can just back off from my territory...I mean our territory.

Eventually, as always happens lately, me and B get into a sparring match. Starts off your gentle practice kinda deal at first. You know she tries a roundhouse kick, I block it with both arms then sweep her legs, she jumps over them…yadda yadda yadda as Red might say. Then I miss an easy punch she throws at me and our skin connects. She's in that grey/white vest combo she always wears for training, and I'm in my usual: black, tight, everything-waiting-to-break-out look. Our arms are bare, and it's her hands on my bare arms that makes me realise I blacked out for a second there. Damn it. Man I never lose concentration like that. I felt like such a class A idiot. No doubt she's thinking that anyway, or the other alternative, "yay me, I decked Faith and she never saw it coming"….Man, if the world could have spewed forth a demon or Hell itself at that point I would have welcomed it with a woo, a hoo and a big ticker tape parade. And the strangest thing was happening to my body too. It was all tingly. Like when you were a kid and you'd put your tongue on the end of a battery just to get that buzzing sensation shoot through your mouth. Well that was what my body was doing. Must have been from the Slayer whammy B gave me, but still... her hands on my bare flesh got me thinking…

Nah, five-by-five right?

May 2000

Okay so here's something new. Turns out Slayer Healing becomes null and void when you actually get decked by a Slayer. Cancels each other out, just like back in maths class with those two negatives make a positive shit. Or two wrongs make a right. Say, how does that work anyhow? Well either way the fact is I got up this morning feeling like I'd had one too many hits of the good stuff Willy keeps behind the bar at Demon's R Us, looked in the mirror and sure as shitting in the woods is gonna be rough on your ass I had one huge…what is it Giles says?…shiner! Yeah my right eye all puffed up like I had gone ten rounds with the vampire version of Muhammad Ali. No need for my usual dark eyeliner and smoky shadow this morning. Hello to sunglasses and stupid remarks from the sleaze ball who calls himself the manager of this dive I sleep in.

"Say little lady. Get into a fight diddya? Hope he was worth it."

Two things went through my head at this point. One—beating him to a bloody pulp would save me on next week's rent but would lead to trouble for yours truly, and I've been trying to avoid running into my old buddy trouble ever since me and B hooked up with this slayer gig. And the second thing, why is it everyone assumes where I am concerned there is always a he? Like I'm just Sunnydale's entry to Slut of The Year or something. Okay I might not dress like the girl next door, 'cause well B has that covered and come to think of it looks damn fine doing it, but I'm not some skanky ho looking for a quick fix either. Is that how people see me? Is that how she sees me?

Man that bothers me.

I can just picture them now, the Scoobies, talking around Giles' table at the Magic Box. "You gotta admit, she dresses like a ho," that'll come from Red, and she'll drop her voice low for the 'ho' bit in that annoying way she does whenever she thinks she is saying something bad. Xander will probably chip in with some macho crap. "Well she looks good to me" at which point that ex-demon girlfriend will hit him or screech "hey" the way she does and launch into her "when I was a demon" routine. Something along the lines of "…oh there were plenty of girls like Faith around back in my demon days, I never liked them. They didn't need a vengeance demon. They got their revenge by leaving in the morning without milking the cows." Or some other such shit.

Would B jump to my defence? Slayers stick together right? She'd go with her diplomatic face, trying to keep the peace between everyone like usual, but still I can hear her now. "Faith's Faith, she's just a little pre-occupied with sex that's all."

Well fuck them! And fuck that guy this morning. And fuck my mother whose legacy was to dress dirty and talk even dirtier so the shitheads of the world won't use you for a dumpster. And fuck me for believing her. And for caring what other people think of me. What she thinks of me. Man this is a road I don't want to walk down.

Five by five. Eat shit and die Faith.

May 2000

Yesterday was a bad day. A low point in the already batting zero life that I call my own. Freaky stuff is happening and it's not got anything to do with a new Big Bad coming into town, or one of Red's spells going ass first down the john again.

I mean freaky stuff is happening to me.

Take this morning for instance. Finally showed my face at the Magic Box, my slightly less bruised but still showing some signs of "ouch that hurts" face that is. I was really hoping to not run into any of the Scoobies. Just wanted to check in with Giles and go some rounds with that punch bag. It had my name on it you know? They should have all been at college anyway or doing their day jobs. Day job, now there's a novel idea. You'd think that the job of Vampire Slayer would automatically free up your days 'cause guess what guys? Vamps have a problem with direct sunlight! Yeah but there's plenty of demons who don't. B will back me up on this one. Don't know how she can pull off all that studying and slaying and licking Army Boy's tonsils as much as she does. But that's B for you. One of the people who do rather than the people who don't. Three guesses to which category I fall into.

But what do you know? For once college gal slayer ain't hitting the books or talking girl talk with Red over a mochaccino. She's at the Magic Box with Giles. She said she was waiting for me. Okay. That got my attention. She looks at my face. Had to dump the glasses when I came inside 'cause they're so damn dark I almost knocked over the crystal ball display Giles hooked up for the tourist trade. So much for Slayer Agility. She can see the shiner she gave me the other day. And there's this look in her eyes, this pained look as if she knows my face aches the kinda ache you get after a really mean dentist has been at you, and she realises she was the one to cause it in the first place. Concern and sorrow are warring with each other in her eyes, and I'm still getting over the fact she said she was waiting to see me.

Then BAM! Full on body slam knocking the wind right out of me. What was it? A demon yeah? Some big mother intent on killing a slayer for the rep he'd get. Nope. I felt like I'd been hit by a ten-tonne truck being driven by a ten-tonne evil guy, but all it took to make me feel that way was her hand, lightly touching my bruised face. And then she almost whispered it, her voice cracking a little.

"I'm so sorry Faith. I never meant to hurt you."

Told you man, freaky stuff is happening to me lately.

Five by five.

to be continued...

AN: Ok, so stick with me here, it might not seem much right now but boy do I have a tale to tell concerning our two favourite slayers. This one is going to be epic.