Death Battle! Chapter 28: James Bond VS Agent 47
Harry: When one thinks of a spy with an incredible service record and competition of the near-impossible and at times impossible...these two always come to mind.
DAM: James Bond, no introduction needed.
The Doctor: And Agent 47, the Hitman with an attitude.
DAM: Totally should've been Jason Bourne!
(*THROAT PAWNCH!*)
Harry: He's The Doctor, that over there is DAM and I'm Harry.
The Doctor: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a, Death Battle!
Harry: Though little is known about the man himself, James Bond is a high-class operator of Great Britain's MI6 and is determined to protect her Majesty.
DAM(*Scratchy*): Of course what we really know he's a KILLER...Man may throat hurts, so uncalled for bro.
The Doctor: James Bond was born on April 13, 1968 in West Berlin, Germany. However, things to a dark turn whenever his parents died in a climbing in a climbing accident when he was eleven.
Harry: He was soon transferred to the Lodge Skyfall in Scotland and attended Eton...Until he was expelled after repetitive curfew violations and 'troubles' with one of the maids.
DAM: Yes...even at a young age he was destined to be one of the greatest Womanizers in history. In all seriousness he later graduated from another school at 17 and then he entered the Britannia Royal Naval College.
The Doctor: Their Bond excelled in all fields of his training and upon leaving this academy with a few demerits...
(That's a lie, like a boat of demerits. I'm talking Titanic full)
The Doctor: ...Bond officially began his amazing spy career after serving in the 030 Special Forces Unit.
Harry: In his service of MI6...Bond accomplished some of the most impressive things in his career, most famous and common being taking down and stopping so many badguys and terrorists I wont list them.
DAM: This guys make Chuck Norris look like Justin Bieber, he's survived a 150 foot fall from a bridge then another 100 foot waterfall after being shot in the chest.
The Doctor: Of course this is one time when he's ever experienced being shot. Because this guy has been shot at approximately 5,000 times and he keeps moving and fighting while everybody else is dead.
Harry: If that's not enough evidence I don't know what will convince you. Bond's signature weapon is a silenced Walther PPK...the classic spy handgun his secondary tool of war is a more advanced and precise Walther P99.
DAM: He's also a brutal hand-to-hand combatant using a hybrid-mix of boxing, judo and karate. Using these skills to kill Oddjob, Jaw, the axe-wielding maniac Dominic Green and even Sean Bean.
The Doctor: Bond is also an attempt athlete capable of running great distances and is a parkour master.
Harry: He does have his weaknesses for one he has been effected by plot conveniences. His most famous weakness being women sure he likes them a lot however they always come around and nearly kill him in every movie.
DAM: Still Bond is one of the deadliest spies ever if you get in his way don't try running you're already dead.
Silva shoots Severine in the stomach killing her "I win...what do you think of that?"
"It's a waste of good scotch."
Bond proceeds to kill all of Silva's henchmen in mere seconds
"What are you gonna do now? Take me to her? Alone on your own."
"Who says I'm on my own," helicopters fly in, "Latest thing from Q Branch...called a radio."
James Bond:
Age: 43 (As of Skyfall)
Height: 6'
Weight: 167 lbs.
Weapons:
Walther PPK with Silencer
Walther P99
Boxing
Judo
Karate
Strengths & Feats:
Bulletproof...has been shot 5,000 times always comes out alive
Survived falling from a 150 Bridge into a lake, that lead to another 100 foot waterfall
Brutal Hand-To-Hand Combatant
Epic Womanizer
Has become one of the most popular spies ever
Weaknesses:
Women
Possibly a host of thousands of Sexually transmitted diseases
Skyfall, and/or his past
Harry: Created by Otto Wolfgang Ort-Meyer as his 47th clone, '47' is considered to be one of the world's deadliest, most discreet and skilled assassins ever.
DAM: Before he was known as the assassin he's remembered for today he was once a normal child...who...just happened to be held in a dangerous asylum with 46 clones of himself. When he was twelve years old he took note and praised kickboxing after viewing numerous tournaments.
The Doctor: Upon taking up kickboxing himself 47 would later strangle/drown his bully named 6, in a stall in a bathroom leaving him to rot in the toilet bowl. Afterwards he crafted his primary weapon a fiber-wire garrote as well as a makeshift bow & arrow and used both to help him escape.
Harry: He didn't make that far as he was found by an Asylum doctor, who congratulated him for his killings of 6 and also rewarded him with a pancake. However, he told him that he should only kill in the future only if he was instructed to.
DAM: Tommy Lee don't lie pancakes are truly the best...to make this go faster I'll paraphrase, after years in the asylum he escaped again at 23 and found employment so quickly it only took him bout a day.
The Doctor: As a spy and assassin Agent 47 carries two silenced pistols dubbed Silverballers, though in reality they are AMT Harballers that fire the beautiful .45 ACP round. He was also trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat and can use almost any object to kill a man in a single bow.
DAM: Even coffee mugs...47 can also use his spy/assassin instincts to predict his opponents moves and enhances his speed and reflexes.
Harry: Rude! You interrupted me. Anyways 47 doesn't just rely on his firearms his trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat with examples of hapkido, tae-kwon-do, boxing and even kickboxing.
DAM: Like Bond he's killed so many enemies we don't have the time, money or reason to list them all. He's also got an accelerated healing factor capable from healing wounds in a short period...however his most impressive feats are his sniper skills peaking 4,000,000+ points on a sniper challenge.
The Doctor: Like any human he sadly has weaknesses for one though he has a healing factor he can still die from excessive damage and wounds. Also, in-spite of his marksman skills and sharpshooting skills he wouldn't be able to hit Bond, you know because he's bulletproof.
Harry: His most famous of course being his instinct though incredibly helpful if he runs out of it he'll become vulnerable and much...much more clumsy.
DAM: Even with his ridiculous flaws Agent 47 may just be the deadliest assassin in video game history.
47 sneaks up behind an unexpecting foe and proceeds to strangle him with his Fiber-wire Garrote
Silent Kill: +775 Points
Non-target Casualty: –5,000 Points
Body Hidden: +1,925 Points
Agent 47:
Age: 48 (As of Hitman: Absolution)
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 187 lbs.
Weapons:
Instinct
Silenced Silverballers (Akimbo Style)
Fiber-wire Garrote
Advanced Hand-To-Hand Combat,
Hapkido
Tae-Kwon-Do
Boxing
Kickboxing
Any object near him
Strengths & Feats:
Accelerated Healing Factor?
Can kill a man with a book or a coffee mug…?
Expert Marksman, highest score of 4,000,000+ points
Instinct increases speed and reflexes
Master Assassin
Weaknesses:
Want be able to shoot Bond
Can run out of Instinct
Despite his healing factor he can still die
Harry: All right the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all!
DAM: Its time fro a DEATH BATTLE!
The battle opens up to James Bond as he sat in the middle of a room at MI6. When out of nowhere a bald man clad in a legendary suit. Bond remained in his seat for a few moments sipping his last few sips of scotch. He then flipped out of the chair slinging the glass at 47 who simply sidestepped the attack and drew his Silverballers. Bond quickly jumped to his feet and drew his Walther PPK aiming at his opponent.
FIGHT!
47 was the first to attack emptying his entire magazine on Bond who simply stood still and smirked as the bullets slowly whizzed past his head. As he reloaded Bond fired a single round down range striking 47 in the chest forcing him to drop on of his Silverballers. Bond tossed his PPK aside and charged 47, he got closer to his opponent he dropkicked him sending him crashing onto a table breaking it in half. Agent 47 jumped to his feet and the two men ran towards each other. Bond punching 47 in the face while 47 countered with a sock to the old jaw of Bond. James shook off the punch and rushed his opponent tackling him. The two crashed through a glass door and flipped over a patio railing they proceeded fall through the window paneling of another building landing on a small platform. Bond kicked 47 off of him and nearly knocked him off the platform breaking two of the support beams. Agent 47 tried to retaliate but before he could the entire platform collapsed sending both men plummeting to the ground below.
Bond seamlessly jumped to his feet rushing his opponent before he could strike 47 kicked him in the hip. With his opponent stunned for a split second 47 attempted to strike him with a piece of glass from the floor. Bond blocked it and disarmed his opponent before punching him in the throat and Sparta kicking him into a wall covered in pipes. Steam erupting from the pipes, Bond rushed his opponent again, prepared to kick him with a Sparta kick. However, 47 moved out of the way and Bond's foot broke through the concrete wall with ease. Bond removed his boot and had no time to react as 47 punched him in the face multiple times though he was able to block most of these attacks.
The two men stepped away from each other and glared endlessly into each others souls. As 47 ran at Bond his enemy proceeded to run away from him and jumped round every railing he came across with his parkour skills. When Bond came around another corner 47 appeared out of nowhere punching his foe and knocking him backwards. Bond retaliated with a punch to 47's temple that sent him fumbling back in confusion. Upon falling on the ground he came across a randomly placed concrete slab, picking up the heavy block of rock 47 turned at Bond kicking him in the stomach and breaking the concrete slab on his head. Bond stood confused as 47 charged him tackling him, before he tackled him Bond unholstered his Walther P99. As they fell on the ground Bond fired a single shot from his pistol which hit a reactor or something like that and caused the entire building to explode.
As the smoke cleared Bond and 47 continued their battle each countering the others attacks. Bond throat chopping 47 and taking this time to running away from his opponent. As he ran away a black car with tented windows appeared behind him 47 sticking his head from a car window firing one of Silverballers. Bond kept running forwards through the streets lit by the light of dawn. As he ran he fired his Walther P99 blindly striking 47 in the chest twice. Frustrated 47 rammed his car into Bond head on and drove through the doors of a hotel the patrons in the hotel being killed instantly as the car sent clash and random explosions everywhere. 47 continued to drive his car until slamming into the front desk. He exited the vehicle as Bond jumped back to his senses firing a single shot through the front window. Bond pushed the car off of him and ran around the other side of it pursuing his foe.
James Bond walked up a flight of steps and came across an open door he entered the hallway and saw nobody except for a maid. As he walked past the maid one could see Agent 47's iconic barcode. Unknown to Bond he continued to roam the halls when 47 clad in maid dress n' skirt jumped him and began to strangle him with his Fiber-wire Garrote. Bond struggled to free himself of 47's death grip, he looked around his surroundings spotting a fire extinguisher on a wall in front of him. He fired his P99 knocking it off the wall and fired another shot turning it into a rocket. The extinguisher flew across the halls and struck 47 in the face. 47 fumbled backwards trying to keep Bond in his grasp, however he was unable to do so and was flipped over Bond's shoulders. Bond punched 47 in the face twice with little effect and 47 retaliated by spraying pesticides into Bond's eyes. Before kicking him in the head knocking him backwards. Bond shook off the attack and turned towards his foe in time to block a punch. Bond gave 47 an epic uppercut, to which 47 responded with a fist to Bond's forehead knocking his head into a wall. Agent 47 proceeded to whip Bond backwards and threw Bond through the wall.
47 walked through the hole in the wall and approached Bond clad in his black suit once again holding his Silverballer by his side. He fired his pistol pointblank completely missing. Shocked he looked at his pistol and looked back at Bond and was picked right off his feet and was tackled the two crashed through the entire suite breaking tables, chairs and other accessories. Agent 47 picked up a coffee mug breaking it on Bond's forehead. Frustrated Bond groin kicked 47, his opponent growling in a great fit of pain. Bond rushed 47 the two men crashing on the ground creating a grater. They both jumped to their feet, and ran towards each running through the hallways and crashing into every wall in the hallway, punching and kicking each other as they crashed into each wall. 47 pushed Bond off of him knocking him into an elevator door, Bond kicked 47 backwards knocking into another wall. Agent 47 ragingly charged Bond tackling him and sending they both breaking through the elevator door.
Bond and 47 fell down yet another elevator shaft bouncing off every wall constantly butting heads and punching one another 47 acted quick and grabbed onto the walls of the shaft kicking Bond off of him sending him plummeting into darkness. Before he could do anything else a suppressed pistol was fired and 47 was sent falling down the shaft once more. Upon hitting the ground he looked up to see Bond aiming his Walther PPK at his forehead. Bond pulled the trigger and 47's brains splattered across the floor and wall behind him.
K.O!
DAM: That may be have been the strangest and funniest fight in Death Battle history.
The Doctor: Though 47 is a highly skilled assassin this is what Bond does on almost everyday of his life. He's taken on assassins hellbent on killing him, however with his mystic power of effecting bullets in his vicinity forced this fight to come down to hand to hand combat. Even with his accelerated healing factor 47 couldn't match with Bond's unnatural and inhuman durability he's fallen from a 150 foot bridge after being shot once in his life and survived. Sure this was a wickedly long fight no matter how long his fights are he always ends up on top.
DAM: 007 and 47 really 'BONDED' in this fight.
Harry: The Winner is_
Bond, James Bond
The Doctor: Next Time on Death Battle!
Next Time on Death Battle:
A gargantuan man clad massive armor and wearing a spiked helmet approaches an army of Elven soldiers effortlessly knocking dozens of them aside with a swing from his mace, before reaching his hand out to the camera a ring glowing brightly in a golden flash
Versus...!
A hulking armored-man sits upon a throne frozen in ice, his eyes glowing blue bursting from his throne, holding a massive blade in front of him. The blade becomes enveloped in frost before plunging it into the ground shattering the frozen Earth around him