August 2000
Yeah like I need this right now!
I SO do not need this right now!
I'm doing fine, I'm dealing. Okay I love the Slayer and I'm beginning to think she feels something for me. Not the something. Not what I feel. But I'm at least getting the hint that Army Boy doesn't do it for her anymore and she thinks time alone with me, in a non-slaying capacity is a good thing. But I do not need this right now.
She's in my motel room.
She's in here taking a shower.
My god. She's all wet and naked and I'm wasting time writing it all down in fucking ink just so I don't forget this moment actually happened.
Again with the not needing this to be happening right now.
My leathers are getting uncomfortable. Man I hate it when that happens.
So the deal is we're out on patrol. But not normal patrol 'cause nothing about tonight has been in the land of normal for me so far. Looks like it ain't gonna change anytime soon either. I was at her house this evening for dinner. Get me! Actually used a knife and fork for once and didn't have to open a cardboard carton to eat. It was her idea. Well she came with the invite all casual and nonplussed. She was like 'Mom wondered if you'd like to come for dinner before patrol tonight.' But when I get there this evening, scuffing my boots on the back of each leg and wondering if I should have hocked some flowers from next door's garden to give to Mrs. S, Buffy's mom was all with 'Oh Faith, and Buffy didn't think you'd come if she asked you.'
Ha, psyche much!
It was nice too. I'm getting to enjoy family time at the Summers' house way too much. Not like back in Boston in my house. Not like when my mom, with one of her loser boyfriends, would order out for Chinese then get too stoned to pay the guy when it got delivered. Not like that at all. Dawnie was all with embarrassing B every chance she got. Like 'and this one time we went to Disneyland with Dad, and Buffy made us ride the teacups so much she barfed all over Pluto.' Ha B's face. Man I wish I had my camera with me. Okay I wished I owned a camera period, but you know, Kodak moment.
And B keeps sliding me these glances. Like she was making sure it was okay for me to be there, it wasn't wigging me out. It was wigging me out but not in the way the Slayer was imagining. I didn't mind having to act polite in front of Mrs S. Turns out I can do polite after all. Maybe that came as a bonus with the handy Slayer Strength package? I didn't even mind that Mrs. S asked me all those awkward parent questions when she brought out dessert. You know the kind.
"So what do you want to do when you leave college Faith?"
Only not the college bit. And her questioning was severely hampered by B giving her the evil you're my mom so I love you, but for god's sake shut up! look.
I didn't mind any of this. What was wigging me out is what always wigs me out when I'm with the Slayer. Her. Everything about her. The smell of her hair. The clothes she wears. The way those tops with the plunging neckline like she was wearing tonight only leave just enough to my imagination. But it's always the best part of just enough to my imagination, you know? And I have to remind myself to breathe when she leans over in one of those tops, 'cause my body suddenly has other things on its mind.
"Want some more Ben and Jerry's Faith?"
WHAM!
Eyeful of Buffy Cleavage.
Breathe! God damn it Faith girl, breathe!
"I'm good thanks."
Sure I'm red, flustered, very aware of the heat in my leathers and Dawnie looking at me weird, 'cause I'm squirming slightly in my chair and she is sat right next to me, but I'm good thanks? Yeh, right.
Time out Summers' chicks please! I can deal when I'm on my own with B. Okay deal is an exaggeration but I get by when it's just the two of us. The whole goddamn family there as well, tuning in to my face all flushed? I don't think so.
"Time for patrol B, you ready?"
Phew.
Busy night too. Not much chance to let her do the 100 metre dash with her mouth like usual. Or for the silences to stretch out between us 'cause of what we both said in the Magic Box the other day making it impossible for us to say anything else. We've got vamps a-rising and demons a-coming from every angle. Something's up, a slayer knows these things. Well couldn't think about the whys and whats earlier on, we just had to kill the fuckers then we could worry about what they were here for afterwards. I like that approach anyway. Slay first ask questions later. Makes things simple you know? Least with all the action my mind had chance to re-group over the whole B inviting me to dinner thing. Yeah, all this Big Bad can only be a good thing I was thinking to myself.
How wrong was I?
We tracked this one really mean, slime trailing ugly mother to the docks. Seemed like such a good idea at the time. I even thought to myself that if we called it a night after this one I was close to home-sweet-dive, and my mind wouldn't get chance to go all tornado in my head again dropping B off at her place. It's getting harder and harder to just say goodbye to her at the end of patrol, you know? I wanna grab her and hold her and never let go each time she turns around in her doorway and says 'night then Faith, sweet dreams.'
If she only knew the kinda dreams I've been having lately! They ain't so sweet but they're sure full of honey, the kind that comes dripping down slayer thighs...jeez Faith! This is so not helping right now! She's still in there in the shower for fuck sakes!
B is naked.
She is in the next room to me naked in the shower, and I'm doing dear diary shit? Man I've never been this restrained before, talk about turning over a new leaf, I've turned the whole fucking tree over.
Okay, focus girl.
So we've got this demon cornered at the end of the docks. We both eyeball him, ugly fuck did I mention that? Don't know what the fuck he is, just know he oozes puss very easily and it was either the stench from the sea or him that was making me gag every time the wind blew my way. Major League gross in other words. B can smell it too, I looked over at her and she was doing that wrinkle thing with her nose, and you know what? I still thought it looked cute and was blown away for like a second, or a minute, or something long enough for her to dive first for this demon, getting a full on body coating of that yuk as she did. She ain't gonna appreciate that. And I couldn't hide my smirk when I watched her wailing into this fucker while all the time looking completely grossed out to be even touching him. And she's moaning at him whilst she's pummelling away.
"Hey this was by best slaying sweater!"
Shit like that. I thought she was going to demand he pay the cleaning bill after all this was over. And also, B has a favourite slaying sweater? That girl has way too many clothes man.
Anyways I could have just let her handle him, she was five-by-five, and like I wanted all that slimy shit on my clothes too? But then the bastard got a lucky swing at B and sent her sprawling to the floor.
Hey! That's my B you're hurting there!
I thought it, didn't say it though. Managed to stop on Hey! thank fuck, and I flying-kicked him in the face. Then I'm down on the floor too, 'cause in my anger, in my rage at anyone hurting B, I kicked without planning my next move and when dumb shit like that happens, chances are you're gonna end up on your ass. And if God were at all on my side he would have made me land somewhere B couldn't see my lame ass attempt at an attack. Instead I have to fall right next to her. She looked at me all puzzled, like she was thinking why's Faith on the floor? Or probably that was the lamest move I ever saw Faith do. Way to keep your cool there Faith. Dumbass. So I had to distract her or something, so I wouldn't feel like such a schmuck again, and I spotted the perfect thing. There were all these huge steel rod things laying about, perfect for slaying with if you catch my drift. I handed B one, picked one up myself and did that flip thing with my legs so I was standing upright again.
"We gonna kill this fucker or what?"
I was so over spending time with B at this point. Slayer time, non-Slayer time, I just can't win lately. I always manage to do something un-Faith like and things go all screwy between us for a little while.
"Sure, thought you'd never ask."
No, don't do that sexy smile, please. Not the smile that curves up slightly at the edges of a mouth that becomes very hard to not think about kissing. Lips that look so soft, that hint at the pleasure that can be found in them when they curl the way they do in that sexy smile. Please B, just any smile other than that one. Okay?
But of course, she did it anyway. She always does it when I ask her if she wants to kill something nasty, and as usual I'm struck dumb at the image. I have to start getting over that. It's going to get my ass killed one of these days if I don't. She beat me to the demon again and pounded him with the steel rod I gave her. He was quick to go too once he had the Slayer on his case. I didn't even get chance to get a few good kicks in to his head, 'cause B whacked him and he went down, then she speared that rod straight through what I want to call his heart, but I'm guessing that's a term that doesn't apply to demons, so straight through the middle of him will have to do.
And that's why she is back here at my motel, in my shower, using my minty shower gel and soaping herself all over with it...FAITH STOP IT!
She's back here 'cause when she killed that demon, all that puss and slime she'd already got a nice thick coating in over her clothes exploded out of him and all over the Slayer. Missed me 'cause I was still hanging back, the whole acting like a complete dork seeming like a good option now I see B covered in this green gooey crap. I managed to control the howls of laughter, okay I didn't but I thought about not laughing at her, really. She just looked so un-Slayer like when she turned around. All grumpy and wigged out at the shit that was all over her. What was I supposed to do? Tell her she suited the colour? Sorry, hysterics ensued. At least they did until she went...
..."Well I'll just have to come back to yours Faith and get cleaned up. You've got a shower right?"
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My rational aware-of-the-ways-of-the-world-and-how-that-world-works-in-terms-of-B-and-me mind was saying she only said that because anyone who's just been drenched in demon shit would want to get it off ASAP. But there was the other part of my mind, the part that's still thinking now about her in there all hot and wet. Wet and hot. You know just a load of wet hot slayer in my shower. That part of me swears B asked to come back to mine so she could wipe that smug look off my face and see how I'd react to her being here.
Yeh I'm running with the thought now that maybe something is going on inside B's head that doesn't involve Army Boy or any of the Big Bad we face. Doesn't involve her friends or little Dawnie or her mom. It's something that just involves us, me and her. And she's back here taking a shower in my motel room 'cause maybe she is running with that thought too.
Five by five? I'll let you know later.