Chapter 4: Snow Way

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You all know what I'm going to say, so I won't bother saying it.

Sly Cooper belongs to… Sucker Punch, right? Well, as long as nobody sues me…

Alright, let's get to the Prep Phase. Everyone ready? Let's rock.

—

List and Rick looked expectantly at the brains of their gang, eager to get to work.

"Well, even with the surprise presence of an Interpol officer, we still have to work fast. I don't want to crunch the numbers again tomorrow." Abby sighed, before getting down to business. Looking serious, she brought up images of the warehouse and the helipad on her computer. "These are our main targets. We have to neutralize both to stand a chance in hell of subduing Gol Bora. First, the warehouse. I've made arrangements for a rather powerful explosive to be delivered to us here later today."

Rick grinned widely. "Explosive? You mean we get to blow up that entire building?!"

"Right on the money, Rick. But let's continue before we get to questions." the jackal told him, before enlarging the image of the helipad. "The gunship up there needs to go. It's a quick escape we can't afford to leave intact. Luckily, I know just how to get rid of it. I've modified some of my BBs for precisely that purpose. If I can get close enough, I can ignite the ammo cache onboard. It won't be as spectacular as watching the warehouse go up, but I think we'll all find it just as satisfying."

"Let me guess. You need me and Rick to help you gain access to both." List interrupted, looking confident as he leaned on his cane.

"Yeah. Rick, I need you to get to the ski lift without being spotted by anyone, knock out the guard inside, and steal his uniform." Abby said, looking a little worried. "It's a little outside your comfort zone, but it's the only way they'll buy that you're the next guy on duty. If you can pull that off without alerting the base, then I'll have a clear route to the chopper during the next phase of our operation."

"I can do that! Probably!" the bear grinned. "No puny guard can withstand the Mighty Rick!"

"Don't we all know that. Anyways, List. Your job is a little more subtle. I need you to identify the chief of staff here and pickpocket them for their keys. The reason is twofold." Abby grinned. "The locks here aren't even close to the simplicity of the ones you usually pick, so getting the key is our only way into the warehouse. It'll make blowing the whole damn building up so much simpler."

"Makes sense, but you said twofold. What's the other reason?" List asked, looking curious. In reply, the jackal handed him a small contraption with a USB plug on the end.

"That's the other reason. After you've gotten the keys, head for the big, important-looking building in the center of the smuggling base. That's their primary control center. They'll have the server room there, probably in the basement. I need you to get in, plug that baby into the command terminal, and protect it until I've hacked it remotely, then get out… All without letting anyone get a good look at your face. Ideally, nobody realizes you're even there. That'll give me access to and limited command over pretty much everything that goes on at that base… And I'll be able to cause some serious havoc with that kind of access." Abby told him, a devious grin on her face. "Disrupting the guards is almost as important as taking out the warehouse.

"I like this plan. I'm ready whenever you two are." List grinned, pocketing the device.

"Well, of course I'm ready. Rick?"

"THE MIGHTY RICK IS ALWAYS READY FOR BATTLE!" bellowed the excited bear, itching for a chance to get back out into the field.

"Good enthusiasm, but try to put a lid on it when you're in the field." List chuckled, before slipping out the door. Rick followed him out, sneaky as a bear could be, while Abby chuckled and turned back to her computer, already beginning to type.

The boys, meanwhile, split up. Rick made his way around the outside of the complex, moving slowly to avoid being ambushed by the patrols. It would take him a while to reach the ski lift, but he'd get there eventually, and careful as he was being, it would be no problem to sneak inside.

List, meanwhile, made his way through the base. His natural thiefy sneakiness helped him here, as he approached the building in the center.

"Okay, let's see… Where is that chief of staff?" List wondered under his breath, before looking at his cane. "The other one, I suppose." he grinned, before his ears perked up. In a blur of silent motion, he was hidden in the narrow alleyway between two buildings, watching as a pair of guards passed by.

"…really wish we got paid more for this. I'm freezing out here…" he heard one of them complain, before grinning as the other one spoke.

"Why not take it up with ol' Hammerly, then? I think he's making his rounds, he should be on the east side of the outpost now."

"Uh… Gee, I'd really rather not bother the Chief of Staff with something so petty…"

List considered as the goons walked around a corner further down the walkway. East side, wasn't that where…?

Oh. Oh dear.

"Abby, get Rick on the line RIGHT NOW and tell him to hide!"

Breaking into a sprint, List didn't bother waiting for a response. He made his way through the camp at full speed, barely avoiding being spotted as he did so, and skidded to a halt as he caught sight of the biggest guard he had seen yet, dropping behind one of the few bushes still capable of concealing anything in this frozen wasteland.

Unlike the other guards, Hammerly was apparently extremely serious about his job. It was easy to see; from the way he carried himself, upright and rigid, and the sparkle of his battle-scarred rifle, to the look on his face. The old wolf had scars aplenty and walked with a slight limp, but looked tougher than any of the younger guards, and his expression brought to mind the scary old teacher you always were extra-careful not to offend lest he whip his belt off and beat the ever-loving crap out of you with it. He was not the type of person to suffer a fool, and List sighed in relief; if Rick had tried to fool this guy, he would've gotten his cover blown for sure.

"If we let this guy stay active, he's going to do some serious damage to our plans. Abby, I'm going to take him out." the thief whispered, knowing the earpiece he wore was sufficient for the brains of their operation to hear him.

"But if you do that, the other guards will notice he's gone."

"Seems like nobody likes this guy. I understand why; he looks even more strict than my mom, and she ruled the house with an iron fist. I think they'll count themselves lucky if he doesn't check in on time. But we will have to move fast."

"…Alright. I'll finish planning back here. When he's out of the picture, get to the command center as fast as you can."

Grinning, List crept out from the pathetic shrub he had been hiding behind, taking his time as he approached the Chief of Staff. His cane slowly extended, hooking around the huge guard's keyring, and the half-coon's grin widened as he quietly slipped it out of the pocket it was attached to. Taking a quiet breath, he delicately hooked the end of his cane around the top of the old wolf's jacket, as the Chief of Staff patted his pocket and tensed up, realizing something was wrong by the absence of his keys.

"Sorry." List apologized, before pulling the cane with all of his strength, driving the pole into the snow for leverage as he did. Letting out a cry of surprise surprising in itself for the volume produced by those ancient lungs, the old man was flipped over backwards, hitting the snow with a sound that could only be described as a thump. Checking the unconscious guard, List realized he had gotten ridiculously lucky; his surprise attack had hit a rock. Literally. "Hope that doesn't need medical attention. Sorry again, old man. I just needed you to take a nap." he told the sleeping Chief of Staff, cringing at the swelling bump on the K.O.'d guard's head.

"So?" Abby piped up, over the earpiece. "What happened?"

"Uh, I was able to pull a knockout slam on the Chief of Staff. He's taking a nap in the snow, with a really nasty bump on his head. I think I threw him into a rock. He's alive, though, and he looks tough. I think he'll be fine."

"Good. We're not here to kill anyone. Did you get his keys?"

"First thing, of course. I'll head to the command center. Where's Rick?"

"He's… Oh, dammit. He didn't listen to a word I said, of course. You're just lucky he was being sneaky. As sneaky as a two hundred pound bear can be, anyway."

"Where is he?"

"He's in the ski lift. He… Oh my gods. He uploaded a picture. Here, give me a moment."

List began the trek back towards the command center, pulling out his Binocu-com. He got a good laugh out of the picture Abby uploaded to him; Rick was leaning into the frame with a goofy grin on his face and a thumbs up proudly displayed, but the picture was mostly of one of the wolf guards, stripped down to his underwear, missing several teeth, and unconscious on the floor of the security station. Putting his Binocu-com away, the thief approached the command station, quickly analyzing his entrance possibilities.

"Well, well, well." he grinned, before speaking aloud again. "You wouldn't happen to know if they have a way in from underground, would you?"

"Uh… Maybe. I heard rumors to that effect on ThiefNet, saying that several of the important buildings in this complex have secret entrances. Why?" Abby responded, after a moment's thought. "Did you find one?"

"Yeah. I think so."

With that, he hooked the edge of his cane around the stone wall of the structure that was triggering every instinct in his body, swung into the opening, and dropped. He hit a dry bottom, and his acute night vision revealed the secret he was so happy to see.

Pushing open the hidden door, he stole inside the command center's basement, emerging into an abandoned room. "Jackpot." he grinned, before searching the room. He took his time, but emerged with a better understanding of the layout of the building, courtesy of a map that was quickly uploading to Abby's computer, along with a few other key documents that he felt they could use. One gave him pause, however; he could tell it was important, but the vocabulary being thrown around started with 'quantum tachyon interference' and went up from there. He was going to fry his own brain if he looked at it much longer, so he snapped a picture of the document and put it back, unlocking the door from the inside and stepping into the hallway of the basement.

"Roomy. I like it." he noted, seeing that the hallway stretched out for a good hundred feet. "Abby, I think the command building's basement is built into most of the surrounding buildings. This is a really long hallway, and I count at least forty, maybe fifty doors. Feel like giving me a hand with finding that server room?"

"I had a look at those blueprints you sent me. It looks like the server room is right next to the stairs leading up to the actual building."

"That… complicates things. How well staffed are they again?"

"Not well enough. They've got plenty of men but way more ground to cover. Even if they stick them ALL in the buildings, if what you said is true, they still barely have enough for a skeleton crew."

"Load off my mind, I guess. Which way?"

"Left, straight down the hall, last door on the right before the stairs, if I've got your position right."

"I love satellite navigation."

With that, the thief bursted into a full sprint, reaching the room in no time at all. Checking both ways, he unlocked the room and slipped inside with a smile on his face.

Which quickly turned into a frown. "You're sure this is the server room?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because it's empty. The only thing here is a dusty old terminal."

"WHAT?! Okay, okay, don't freak out…"

"I'm perfectly calm."

"I was talking to myself!"

"People say that's the first sign of insanity."

"I'm part of a band of thieves with you and Rick."

"…Touché."

"Plug the satellite USB I gave you into the terminal."

"You got it."

Slipping the gizmo out of his pocket, List pushed it into a port that accepted it. He then stepped back and watched the screen light up and begin to flicker.

"Geez, these defenses are terrible. I don't know why I even bothered to warm up."

"You warm up before hacking?"

"The brain is a muscle just like any other. But this stuff's easier than my usual warmup routines. I guess Bol Gora decided not to invest in information security and left it up to his hired help to make sure nobody found this out. I'm in the system now, and… CLEVER DICK!"

"What? What happened?" List asked, alarmed at the jackal's voice, which was equal parts rage and respect.

"This IS the server room! This terminal's just old-looking as a coverup, the servers are hidden in the walls! No wonder - with defenses like these and appearances like that, it's got to be a double bluff, anyone coming down here without permission would either know this is the right one or not want to waste time and move on quickly! Geez, did we ever get lucky!"

"Huh. Well, luck does kind of run in my family."

"Is that why a giant mechanical laser owl hunted down every single one of your ancestors?"

"Hey, be fair. Dad killed him, after all. Twice."

"Touché. Anyways, I think I have every… Whoa."

"What happened?"

"Uh… I hit a firewall. A tough one. I'm gonna be chipping away at this thing for hours that we don't have, but there's gonna be something really good inside, I just know it… Hm. I have control over everything but a couple of locked files. Tell you what, it looks like they don't check down here often. Leave the satellite USB down there and come back. We need to blow stuff up."

"Check. I'll be back shortly."

Walking back out into the hall, List locked the door behind him, then headed back towards the secret route he had found. Climbing quickly out of the well, he headed for the safe house, eager to get to the third phase of their operation out here in the middle of Nowhere, Russia.

—

Okay then, well, I never said I wasn't a huge hypocrite or that I wouldn't have the next chapter up today. This one's longer than the last, but mostly still filler. Stuff will be blown up next chapter, I promise.

Bet you're curious about those locked files and the document that gave List a headache, huh? Well, they won't come into play for a long time yet. May not at all. Maybe I'm just messing with you. You'll have to keep coming back to see. Muwahahaha!

Review if you have something to say. Fave if you liked it. Follow if you want to see where I'm going with this crazy BS.

Adios, mios amigos! KeyFire, AWAY!

What could be behind that crazy sturdy firewall that's giving Abby so much trouble? Will stuff actually be blown up? Can Rick pull off that guard outfit well enough for whatever Abby's got planned? Will the Cooper Gang manage to pull this heist off? What's the deal with airline food? Find out the answer to at least one of these questions next time, in Chapter 5: Serious Firepower!