Chapter 5: Serious Firepower
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Okay, I probably don't need to refer you back to chapter 1 at this point.
Sly Cooper belongs to Sucker Punch. I think. Well, he did through Sly 3. I didn't check for Sly 4…
Finally, I get to write about things being blown up!
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As List walked back into the safe house, Abby turned her computer around, taking a momentary break from the hacking she had been working at. This firewall was turning out even harder to crack than she had expected, but with the distraction they were about to cause, she was confident she would get it eventually.
"The bomb was just delivered. We're ready to execute phase three." she grinned, gesturing to a barrel full of… something.
"So what's the plan? C'mon, I want to see that warehouse go up." Rick asked, looking impatient.
"Calm down, calm down. Listen. The bomb's pretty touchy, so we need someone with a light touch to get it into the warehouse. That's why it's your job, List."
"Wait, what? Rick's the muscle! I'm a thief, not a pack mule!" the half-coon objected, startled.
"I need Rick for something else. Why else would I have him take out that guard and steal his uniform? The bomb's really light - you can carry it on your back, no problem. Heck, I can carry it, no sweat. The real problem is that it's so touchy."
"…What do you mean by 'touchy'?"
"Simple. Get hit or hit the ground too hard while carrying that thing, and it'll go up instantly."
"So… Either I make it, or I get splattered across several miles of mountain?"
"Crude, but accurate."
"I don't like this plan. But I guess I see why you gave it to me. What about you and Rick?"
"Simple. I modified some of my ammo, and Rick is going to get me to where I can use it. I plan to blow up the gunship Gol Bora is holding as a backup."
"Wait, Rick is going to… Oh, I get it! Nice thinking!" List grinned, impressed with the deviousness of his longtime friend. "But can your BB gun really shoot through the helicopter's armor?"
"I've made a number of modifications to it while we've been working together. You guys already know about the variable ammo I use, but I recently modified the barrel even further. While I'll only get one shot, given the long cooling time it'll necessitate, I was able to turn it into a variable-impact weapon. I can fire normally, yes, but I get one shot with all the force of a high-end sniper rifle every couple of hours - maybe less, up here - and I can use that shot to put an incendiary round right into the gunship's ammo cache. It's docked, so as long as I shoot before you blow up the warehouse, they'll never see it coming and I can't possibly miss."
"…And the gun won't explode? No offense, but it's kinda puny." Rick asked, looking thoughtful.
"Eh… Probably. Either way, the gunship goes up, and I can get a new BB later. I won't need it again for the duration of this heist anyways."
"Alright, I guess. Just be careful with that thing. We need you active, not in the burn ward." List warned the jackal, who looked genuinely excited. She waved him off.
"Be really gentle with that bomb. The fuse is pretty long, but it can still go off on a strong impact. Once you've lit the fuse, it doesn't matter if anyone spots you - just run like hell." Abby warned him in return. "In fact, get as much attention as you can; it reduces the chance of anyone snuffing the fuse, and it'll draw the guards away from the warehouse. We're not here to kill, after all."
"Got it. Get the bomb there like it's a baby I'm trying not to wake up, light the fuse, then run away screaming."
"…Just go."
"Already gone!" the thief grinned, having strapped the bomb to his back. He ran outside, doing his best to ensure a steady ride for the explosive as he made his way to the warehouse.
"Anyways, Rick, get changed into that guard uniform. Should be your size. Then we're headed to the ski lift." Abby said, turning to the bear… to find he had already changed. "You know what? I'm not going to question this. Let's just go."
"You got it!"
As the two trekked out, they failed to notice something glinting not too far off. A flash of red, then all was white once more. The blizzard was too thick for any more to be seen.
As List approached the warehouse, he started to slip into a passageway between buildings he knew of, but stopped. "Not wide enough. Gonna have to be more careful with this thing. Guess I can't railslide or railwalk either…" he mused, backing out of the alley. Creeping up to the corner of the building, he surveyed the situation, and groaned. Guards were posted heavily around the warehouse, but there were several perfect routes in above the ground level. "Don't tell me I have to risk tightrope walking with this shake and boom barrel on my back. There's always another way." he murmured, his keen eyes already searching the environment for a way around. He grinned widely as he saw his route. "Idiots. They really are careless…"
With Abby and Rick, they were on their way up the ski lift, the small cabin keeping them both warm as they approached the top. "Now, Rick, I need you to act normal in front of the guard up there. Just keep them distracted without punching them until I get past them. Tell some jokes, I don't know." she told him, loading her BB rifle as she spoke.
"Rick the Mighty will give these chumps the laugh of their lives!"
"I don't think physical strength has any relation to humor, but good attitude, Rick."
As they exited the ski lift, Abby crouched down, sneaking off into the snow. She had picked up a trick or two from hanging around with List, and Rick's buddy-buddying up with the guards gave her the distraction she needed to slip past them. She needed to be fairly close to the gunship to ensure that she hit the ammo cache - she'd only get one shot, after all.
She groaned as the guards cracked up, having heard Rick's last joke (what kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel!), but kept moving. It wasn't long before she reached the optimal position for taking out the helicopter, and, with a huge grin on her face, lined up the shot.
Rick was still laughing his ass off with the guards when a loud crack reached their ears, causing the guards to spin around. Rick looked on in confusion as the helicopter remained intact, and as Abby sprinted down the hill. "Take them out and run!" she shouted, to which Rick obliged, smashing the guards' heads together - as the helicopter exploded, sending debris hurtling into the sky. Both bear and jackal made it to the safety of the cable car and hit the ground, panting after their all-out sprint to get there.
"Shouldn't it have blown up faster?" Rick asked, after catching his breath.
"I didn't want to get caught in the blast, so I didn't make my incendiary round too explosive. I designed it to start a chain reaction, not cause the entire explosion all at once." Abigail replied, before seeing the blank look on the muscle of their team's face. "I didn't want to get blown up, so I made it so that it'd blow up after a couple of seconds instead of right away." she told him, to which he nodded in understanding. She then tapped her earpiece, starting a call to List.
List had found his way into the building, but he was still searching for a good place to set the bomb when he got the call. "Hey, how'd it go?" he asked, sounding relaxed.
"Pretty well. The helicopter's in pieces. How're you doing?"
"I got into the building the, uh, numbered way."
"Numbered way?"
"You know. Number one, number two…?"
"…You snuck in through the bathrooms?"
"The idiots have a way into the warehouse through the bathrooms, yes."
"That… I don't know what to say to that."
"I've still got the bomb, as is evidenced by the fact that I'm not tiny meat chunks raining down upon the land. And… Oh ho ho! I found where I'm gonna put it!"
"You sound excited, and it's making me afraid for my life."
"I found where they stash their bombs!"
"…Rick and I are going to run for our lives now."
"You do that. I'll catch up."
Hanging up the phone call, List gently set down the barrel next to a shelf full of explosives, and set the long fuse alight with a little help from his cane. He then ran for his life, actually yelling at the perplexed guards to run if they valued their own lives. Many ran, yes, but they ran after the raccoon, most after wondering what the hell was going on and coming to the simple conclusion; [expletive removed] it, I get paid to shoot at intruders so I'm gonna shoot at this one.
By the time the bomb went off, List was trailing most of the complex behind him, bullets hailing down at him but not impacting as he dodged and weaved, taking every turn he could in an attempt not to be made Swiss. He thanked his lucky stars that the bullets stopped when an ear-shattering boom hit them all, and most of the guards turned around, staring at the mushrooming explosion as it wrecked their chance at a paycheck that month. Debris began to rain down upon them all a few seconds later, List chuckling as he spotted one guard get nailed right in the face by a flying piece of rebar. With the shock and awe of their warehouse going very, very up, he managed to give his pursuers the slip, and headed for the safe house…
He noticed an outhouse door swing open, and the wolf guard inside move to step out. Grinning, he pointed towards the sky, and with perfect timing, a huge chunk of flaming concrete crashed down next to him. The look on the huge man's face was absolutely priceless as he realized that the base was the victim of the most destructive weather pattern caused by raccoon.
"You're safer in there, buddy. I get the feeling you've got a couple of bricks to flush anyways." he told the guard, before closing the door for him.
Still grinning, he continued on his way back towards their base, well aware that Abby already had the last part of their mission here planned out. Considering the destruction they had caused, it would probably be easy enough…
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Well, that was exciting. Yes, there was toilet humor. I regret nothing. Except maybe that I didn't put enough in there. Hehehe. But hey, explosions and more explosions. We still don't have any serious action mano-a-mano going on yet, but that'll happen soon enough, I promise.
I also promise I will stop getting your hopes up that I'm going to keep up with this crazy fast update rate. I have my own life. I have to stop doing this to myself. But addiction is a powerful thing, friends. The next one will NOT be up tomorrow. If I can't stop myself here, I'll never be able to.
What could their plan be now, with destruction raining down upon the base of Gol Bora? Will they be able to walk away with their skins intact and their pockets full of loot, or will they fall victim to the huge Russian monster stretching the word 'bear' to its limit? What action will Constable Marais take now, with the base in shambles and the man behind all these weapons stranded? Find out the answer to at least one of these very good questions… RIGHT NOW!
Hehe. You didn't think I was throwing another short chapter at you without at least a little bit more to it than that, did you? I want to jump right into the thick of it next time, so let's get the briefing done before we end this chapter.
Or, to put it bluntly; PSYCHE! Here's more of this Cooper Gang.
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"Okay, there's flaming rock raining on the base now. They're running around like we just stepped in an anthill. What's the plan?" List asked, walking into the safe house with a huge grin on his face. Abby gave him a dirty glare, as Rick gave him a thumbs up. "THAT WAS AWESOME! I could see that thing go up all the way over here!"
"Yeah. Did you really have to set the bomb off next to all of their other bombs? I mean, it would've taken out the warehouse that way without being amplified to the point of destroying several other buildings in the blast." Abby asked, frowning.
"I don't think that's how bombs work."
"The more gunpowder you set off at once, the bigger the boom. You set it all off at once, not just parts at a time. It's a gross oversimplification, but yes, that is how bombs work."
"Hey, I wrecked the warehouse without being reduced to part of the debris that's falling on the rest of the base, didn't I?"
"…Touché."
"What's the plan, Abby?"
"It's pretty simple, actually. We have to act now, while they're still panicking. List, you and Rick will go up to the manor. You'll split up when you get up there. Rick, I'll guide you to the vault. Your job is simple; go there, wait for List to crack it, then carry down as much of the loot inside as you can. I have a contact in Moscow who's promised me top dollar for everything we bring him; apparently, he hates the hell out of Gol Bora."
"Sure, I can do that!"
"List, your job is harder. You already have a basic idea of the map of the manor from your earlier recon work. I need you to locate Gol Bora and pickpocket the keys to the vault off of him. Get his ammo too, if you can. The less he has of that, the better. Ideally, we won't confront him directly, but if it comes down to a fight we want him to have as little ammo as possible."
"Not a problem. Big guy like that probably won't even hear Rick over the sound of his own feet hitting the ground."
"Good to hear. Once you've got the keys, get to the vault and help Rick carry as much as you two can back down to the cable car. Once you're in that, you're practically home free; just get from the car to the safe house, and we'll take off for Moscow. If all goes well, Gol Bora won't even know he's been robbed until we're well clear. And if the ThiefNet rumors are true, his Steele Ring 'friends' will then promptly turn their backs on him… Maybe even do the hard part of bringing him in to the proper authorities, depending on how much they were relying on this guy to provide weapons."
"And the Constable?"
"If all goes well, she won't even know we were here. In fact, I'd bet she's radioing Interpol for backup right now. The big guy might be in jail by the end of the day."
"I'll take that bet."
"What are you wagering, then, oh wise and noble leader?" Abby asked, rolling her eyes.
"I'll bet you my cane that she's got her own plans."
"…Wow. I'd… Wow. Okay."
"Hehe. Guess I rendered you speechless, huh?"
"You really think she's that observant?"
"Fate has a way of bringing people together, and something tells me that fate's working overtime right now."
"Well, whatever. We'll deal with her if she does something. In the meantime, we've got a gun runner to rob blind."
"Just keep Rick on the right track. Come on, buddy." List grinned, as he and Rick exited the building. Abby sighed, then turned back to her computer. If List was willing to bet his cane on something… Well, they had been good about not leading anyone back to their safe house.
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Will Abby's plan go right, or will the good Constable Marais be the judo chop that broke the camel's back? Find out next time in Chapter 6: Operation: Odyssean Mountain!
Review if you want to say something, favorite if you liked it so far, follow if you want to see where I'm going with that AMAZING analogy!
KeyFire, basking in the glory of stuff being blown up. See you guys next time!