Chapter 22: …Fall Where They May

—

Sly Cooper belongs to Sucker Punch.

No messing around, we're still on a cliffhanger! QUICKLY! WE MUST PULL OURSELVES UP FROM THE CLIFF!

…Um. Right. You get the idea. Let's get to going.

—

"Can't we discuss this? Maybe over dinner? I haven't eaten in hours."

"Flirting won't get you out of this."

"First things first. If I promise not to run anywhere, will you please cuff the proprietress? Preferably to something very sturdy?"

"…I suppose that's fair. Move an inch and I'll call 'resisting arrest' on the report."

"I already know what you're capable of, Inspector. No need to tell me twice."

Rolling her eyes, the officer turned to the unconscious rabbit. A thoughtful look grew on her face. "Think there's any duct tape around here?" she asked, grinning.

"These are her personal quarters. It's stocked up like a home - probably some in the cabinets somewhere. Maybe the kitchen?"

"Stay here."

It didn't take long for the tigress to return with several rolls of the stuff and a devilish grin. A minute and a half was all it took to have Miss Fortune securely taped to the wall.

"Barring neither of us paying attention for… About half an hour. I think she's not going anywhere." List remarked, grinning.

"Et ni êtes-vous (And neither are you). Correct me if I'm wrong, but without this, well… You're not exactly skilled in hand-to-hand." Alayna remarked, leveling his cane at him again.

"I could still outrun you. Without your pistol to slow me down you're not quite quick enough to catch me in a footrace."

"And you'd never abandon the cane. Tell you what. You get a ten-second head start. You could never bring yourself to leave without it. So your choice is simple - run without the cane, or go to jail with it."

"Or I could take it, then run."

"You can't steal it. You can't out fight me. Face it, Voleur. You're beaten."

"Am I? Well, there's only one way to find out."

With a sly grin, he took ahold of the cane. The Inspector tensed up, confused. He wasn't trying to twist it out of her grip.

She got her answer in a way she didn't expect. A swift tug on the cane brought her stumbling into the thief's arms. Before she could do anything, she found herself on the receiving end of a tender kiss. It only lasted a moment - she knew that much - but her mind kicked into overdrive instantly. It felt like a lifetime.

Breaking it, List eased the cane out of her stun-loosened grip. "Hate to kiss and run, Inspector, but my gang's already been kept waiting. I'll make it up to you."

With that, he left the shocked officer on the balcony, disappearing into the hall at a full sprint. It took a moment for the tigress to regain her bearings, at which point she turned around.

"…Chasing le Voleur without my shock pistol would be a waste of time…" she muttered. "…Mais quoi...? Que diable était-ce sujet?"

"…Uuuuuuuuuuugh. What… What happened…?"

"Oh. You're awake. Good… I need to take some confusing feelings out on something."

"Oh. Oh dear. Can't we talk about this?"

"Fine. I was just kissed by the infuriatingly coy thief who's been evading capture for the past three months - all the while periodically showing up irritatingly close to me. What, precisely, do you suggest I do?"

"…I…I see. Have you tried taking your confusion out on the source?"

"He's faster than I am, and you broke my weapon."

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"Terribly so. Sorry, Miss Fortune. Your luck has run out."

—

"He should've gotten here by now." Abby growled, looking up at the street. Rick rested his head on his hand, clearly bored with the wait. "Maybe he's just having trouble getting everything down on that little ground wire thing." the bear suggested.

"He'd have called to complain about it and warned us of a paraglider drop. You don't suppose he got into a fight with the proprietress, do you?"

"…Who?"

"The owner of the casino."

"Oh! Well, even if he did, he wouldn't have much trouble kicking that spoiled bunny's butt. List's no slouch with his cane, even if he's not as strong as Rick the Mighty!"

"That's not really what I'm worried about. In straight hand-to-hand, I have the utmost confidence in List. But the owner is supposedly ridiculously, consistently lucky…"

"Karma comes a'knockin' for everyone eventually." came a familiar, confident voice. Both bear and jackal turned quickly, to see their friend sitting comfortably in the back, tossing the jewelry box he had pilfered up and down.

"Just the one thing? That's not like you."

"Got into a battle royale. The big bad's under arrest now, but I think we owe the Inspector something."

"You'll have to give us the full story, then."

"On the ride back. There's a twist at the end even I didn't see coming. Meantime, shall we?"

"I've got a buyer in Shanghai."

"Rick, GPS got the route?"

"You know it!"

"Then what're we waiting for? Hit it!"

As the engine revved up, List looked off to the side. Peeling out, they passed by the front entrance - just as the Inspector exited the building, dragging along the beaten proprietress.

List swung himself out of the back of the van, holding on with his cane as he grinned. A shocked look appeared on the Inspector's face once more, then confusion as he tapped his own ear.

As the van pulled away, and the thief swung himself back into it, she reached up to her own ear. Surprise again played across her expression, as she drew back a Cooper calling card with something hastily scrawled on it.

"Check your pocket…?"

Reaching into it, she found herself holding something small, but rather hard. Drawing it out, her eyes widened.

"Un autre cadeau cher, hein (Another expensive gift, huh)?" she wondered aloud, inspecting it. "Maudits voleur (You damn thief). Qu'est-ce que tu fais (What are you doing)?"

The jewel was a five-pointed star matching her Interpol badge - if it were made of exquisitely detailed solid crystal.

"Hey, that's - where did you get that?!"

"You recognize it?" Alayna asked, turning to the still-mostly-taped-up Miss Fortune.

"Of course! That little thing is worth a lot of scratch. It's… Well, you don't need to know why I have it. Just know it's one of a kind. And yes, it's based on the police star - it was intended to be an earring, for an acquaintance of mine."

"The confusions I took out on you earlier are how I got this thing, apparently."

"Tricky little thief. Dumb, if he's attempting to court a police officer. But tricky."

"Court - you think…?"

"For a skilled officer, you're a little oblivious, dear. But then, you're young. You'll learn."

"…You have the right to remain silent, you know. I very strongly suggest you use it."

"Shutting up."

As Interpol vehicles began to pull up, Alayna sighed. There were so many ways this situation had gone weird, she couldn't even count them all.

"Writing this report is going to be so much fun." she muttered, frustration finally surfacing as the main emotion of the moment.

—

"…And that's the full story." List finished, still grinning widely. Abby stared at him in disbelief as Rick burst out into raucous laughter.

"You kissed the Inspector?" the stunned jackal finally asked.

"I had to get my cane back somehow. Figured I might as well have a little fun with the situation too."

"Right… Well, List's antics aside, there is a slight problem. Despite a lot of digging on ThiefNet, I've been unable to ascertain the exact location - or even identity - of the last member of the Steele Ring. For now, we should just lay low in Paris."

"I assume you've got a small job or three lined up to keep us from going crazy with boredom?"

"You assume correctly. We may have to wait a bit, but I'll find something we can use on the last member of the Steele Ring."

"Then let's spend a week in Shanghai, offload the loot on your buyer, then head home. It's gonna be great to be thieving in France again."

—

Short chapter, I know, but any longer and it would've just felt like padding. Well, that's what I think.

Hey, shoutout to Doctor Wheel, not just for reviewing but for quoting Saxton Hale. Good on ya, mate!

No blurb here. I will reveal that the next few chapters won't be the interim chapters you're all accustomed to, but a short series of mini-heists. Next time; Chapter 23: Personal Matters!

I would write more, but I will be fighting a yeti for the next nine hours. KeyFire out!