What's Real

~Chapter 4~

Katniss

It had been a week and a half since she started school again. And, honestly, she thought that her first couple days back had been disastrous. Dr. Aurelius begged to differ. He claimed that she was doing very well in adapting to this 'new' system of life. He told her to keep doing what she was doing, because it was obviously working.

She had to admit school had become easier. People weren't gossiping about her (as much) and she'd gotten the feel of the school halls and schedule. It wasn't so weird for her anymore and she even made acquaintences with people. Delly Cartwright, Peeta's best female friend as she liked to call herself, had approached Katniss during choir one day and asked her why she wasn't singing; Delly couldn't hear her at all when they were working on the assigned music. Katniss had just shrugged and told her she was just too quiet to be heard. If Katniss knew what Delly would've done, she would have ran away. However, she was unable to and Delly dragged her to the piano and forced her to perform.

That day, Katniss learned she knew how to play the piano. And she also became the songbird of her class.

But along with the friends(acquaintences!), she made enemies. Well, an enemy. Glimmer was just as sadistic and cruel as she was in Katniss's dreams. Clove was with her, but Katniss could tell that she really wasn't as horrid as her friend was. Anywho, Glimmer seemed to abhor Katniss for reasons she couldn't think of. She thought it would be better for her to just try to stay out of her way. It was better not to run into trouble after such a short time of being back.

Lunches were turned into something of a party. Gale sat with her and Madge, and he also brought along his friend Thom. Thom was in a couple of Katniss's classes as well, and Gale promised that if she needed anything, Thom would help. And that was exactly what Thom told her before Gale sat down with them to eat on her second day back. Ry also decided to crash the party, his friend Darius tagging along. Katniss was happy to see that Darius was there; she'd always thought that they were friends in real life since she had a friendly connection with him in her mind. He told her about their adventures together when they were younger. Katniss laughed, glad that she didn't really lose her friend during the Rebellion of the Districts.

She'd only had a breakdown once in the time she'd returned to school. Luckily, she was close to the choir room and she ran into the awaiting arms of Cinna. He was much less surprised than he was the first time she tackled him with affection. But he still asked for her story. The way she told him with such passion and emotion made Cinna reconnect with her in a way that was just like her fake reality's version of Cinna. When she'd asked him if they knew each other before her accident, he said that they'd only met once. And he described her as a strong, passionate young girl- a girl on fire.

Now, she was approaching the close of her first week of school. That one day of starting to ease her into the school system was a good call on her parents' and doctors' part. She'd never say it, though. She was naturally quiet and it was well known throughout town.

This new reality- old if you really think about it- made her... happy. She liked it better here, in this big city called Panem that was split (quite uncreatively) into districts. It was better than the nation with horrible corruption and the deaths of many of the people she loved and those she didn't hanging over her head. The only down side to this place, the only downside that would be there for any place,was that she didn't have Peeta. He didn't talk to her. The roles were switched when she woke up in the hospital that day. Sometimes she wishes she could fall back into that endless sleep and be with Peeta until her dying breath. But she knew she wasn't being resonable. She didn't have Peeta. And that was the only thing that killed her.

Real or not real

It was Friday again. She could officially say that she was here for one complete week. She felt proud of herself- and pretty freaking accomplished-, grinning as she sat down in her normal seat within the walls of the cafeteria. The building filled quickly and people began taking their places within their groups of friends. It wasn't long before Katniss's lunch group joined her.

"Hey, Catnip!" Gale greeted her as he and Thom sat down. They were the last to join, since their class was all the way across the campus. Everyone else got there ages ago.

"So Katniss," Ry chimed in before she could return Gale's greeting, "we have a little... surprise for you."

"...What?" Katniss's voice was suspicious.

She knew the middle Mellark brother was mischevous. And she knew that Peeta was pretty playful too; but his personality led him to be much sweeter than his older brother. However, since she didn't know him in this life, she might as well be saying she made up an imaginary friend that solely revolved around Peeta. With her thoughts all jumbled and her knowledge of the people around her still a bit 'if-y,' she couldn't tell what Ry was up to.

"It's just that you told me about people you cared for and you haven't seen in ages. Which is partially true. So, I decided that we should get them some visitor passes and get them to eat lunch with us."

Katniss raised her eyebrow. "And who are these people?"

As if the whole thing was planned, the cafeteria door slammed open and in walked three people that Katniss didn't think she'd ever see again.

"I heard Miss Katniss came back around!" Finnick, with all of his charisma, burst into the room with two young ladies following him. A huge grin displayed bright white teeth and the dimples on his cheeks were just as endearing as Katniss thought they were when she was in her own world.

Her eyes moistened as she stood up and practically knocked over her chair. She ran over to the young man with outstretched arms and crashed into his torso. And she practically cried into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her frame to keep her from ricocheting off of him.

"It's good to have you back, Kat," he whispered into her ear as she sobbed.

Suddenly, she pulled back, surprising the mortal adonis. She raised her shaking hands and ran them all over his face, touching his hair, eyelids, dimples, chin. Over and over, she whispered, "real, this is real," as a huge grin errupted on her face. When she was done, she spun to face the other two people, who she realized were Annie and Johanna, and tackled each of them with bone crushing hugs.

Her small mantra, "real, this is real," continuously slipped from her lips. And the trio uttered it back to her with big smiles of their own. They didn't even comment on the oddity of her actions. They just nodded and smiled and hugged.

It took ten minutes for her to settle down. And that gave the rest of the cafeteria a sufficient amount of time to create whispered rumors about her and her odd little reunion with her friends from another district's school. When Katniss realized that she created a spectacle, her face turned bright red and she dragged the three people to the table where she and her other friends sat.

They all talked and caught up with each other- since they all seemed to have met before- and the table held a generally happy atmosphere. Finnick instantly noticed the longing glances Katniss would throw towards Peeta, and thus, a new conversation topic was born.

"What's up with you and youngest Mellark?" Finnick asked.

"Peeta," Ry said.

"Whatever."

Katniss looked at him awkwardly. "N...nothing."

"Oh, it's not 'nothin', brainless," Johanna piped up. Katniss almost smiled at the nickname. "You keep looking at him like he's the greatest thing since food."

Katniss's eyes fell to her food, pushing around the vegtables the school was required to place within their meals. She opened her mouth multiple times to answer, but nothing came out. She eventually just let it shut and stay that way. She knew she wouldn't find something to say.

"I think Kitty-Kat has a crush!" Finnick sang, a small 'ow!' errupting from him when Annie smacked him on the shoulder.

When Katniss looked up, she saw that Peeta was staring right at her, as if he knew exactly what they were talking about. Her face turned a deep red and she quickly shot up.

"Excuse me," she uttered, grasping her food tray and making her way to the trash bins.

"Finnick!" Annie scolded as Katniss walked away.

She could barely hear Finn whisper back in his own defense when she felt her ankle get caught and she fell to the ground.

Obnoxious laughter errupted from the table she was beside. She noticed the heeled foot that stuck out from beneath the table- probably the reason why she was tripped- and looked up into the face of Glimmer.

If she thought her face was red, it got worse when she noticed that this was also the table where Peeta sat. Katniss quickly began to pick up her tray and the trash she'd dropped when Glimmer tripped her. This was just too embarrassing. She didn't think that she could ever get Peeta to like her- especially since she's looked like a crazy clutz all this time.

Tears were pooling in her eyes and a loud ruckus was going on near the table when she noticed another pair of hands working together with hers to place her dropped food items on the tray. They were large, strong. They connected to arms with fine blond hairs and muscle from working out and sports. They were very familiar hands and arms. They were Peeta's.

Katniss sucked in a breath as she looked into his eyes. He gave her a small, apologetic smile as the rest of the cafeteria only seemed to get louder with the argument that errupted between Glimmer and Katniss's friends.

"Sorry about her," Peeta said as he picked up her lunch tray. He held out his hand for Katniss to take. "I don't really like her either, but I'd feel bad if I just forced her to eat somewhere else."

Katniss hesitated for a second, but slipped her hand into his awaiting one. She let him pull her up and mourned the loss of warmth when she reluctantly let it go. He began walking towards the trash bin, so she followed.

"You don't have to do that, it's my trash," Katniss said when she regained her ability to speak.

The respondinng smile he flashed her made her heart flutter. "It's fine. I kinda wanted to get away from there, anyways."

It was then that she noticed he had his back pack over his shoulder as well.

Katniss gripped her shoulder strap tightly and nodded, watching the ground as Peeta tossed the trash away.

"What class do you have next?" He asked her, walking towards the doors.

Katniss took this as a sign to follow. "Choir."

"Oh, yeah. I remember Delly told me that you were in that class with her."

She nodded, thanking him quietly as he held the door open for her.

"I remember the first time I heard you sing," Peeta said wistfully.

Katniss's head shot up and she turned to face him so fast that it felt like her head would fly off. "What?"

Peeta stopped in his tracks and placed his hand behind his neck. "Uh, I heard you sing a couple times. The first was in Kindergarten..."

"You remember that?" Katniss asked quietly, hope burning within her.

He blushed a bit, looking down as he let his hand slide through his hair. "Er, yeah. When you sang, I couldn've sworn the birds stopped to listen."

Her heart beat wildly at his response. He noticed her! This was the same thing he told her in her mind! She felt as if her whole world just got brighter and happier.

"Um," Peeta mumbled, turning redder as more time passed, "let's go to our lockers."

"Oh... okay, yeah," Katniss blushed and followed behind.

He walked her to class after that. It was a little awkward. Both of them were very red in the cheeks and Katniss's friends didn't fail to make suggestive faces and actions behind Peeta's back. But he still walked her to class. She felt like she was on top of the world. She felt like things could get better. She felt like she could be with him again.

That day, she sang. She really sang. She didn't hide in the tones of the other kids' song; no, she added herself into the blending of voices and her sweet voice made the class sound that much more beautiful. She felt her heart swell in happiness as her voice rubbed with the others and made the sweetest tone she'd heard in a while. She felt very happy, very alive.

Real or not real

She and Prim walked home alone now. Her father and mother decided that she was acquainted enough with the streets to find her way alone... mostly alone. Prim asked her about her day, and Katniss replied with a small smile and soft eyes of the happiness she'd been given- despite her tripping because of Glimmer.

Prim skipped ahead of her when the young girl saw a group of friends from her school. Katniss smiled as she watched them interact. In this world, it was obvious that Prim fit in. She didn't have to struggle with clothing or looks like she did in Katniss's mind. She couldn't help but see all the good in her world today.

"Hey there, Nissy!" Ry's voiced errupted loudly from just behind her.

Katniss scrunched her nose up in disgust as Ry wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She could hear footsteps coming up to her on her other side as she turned towards Ry. "I suggest that you don't call me that."

"Why?" Ry pushed, grinning. "I think it's a good name... Nissy."

Katniss rolled her eyes and elbowed the older boy in the gut. He quickly let go and began wheezing as she laughed at him. "I told you not to call me that."

She heard laughter behind her and stopped her own giggles as she turned- wide eyed- towards Peeta. A soft pink coated her cheeks and she let a small smile adorn her lips. "Sorry for that. He was asking for it."

He laughed louder. "Don't sweat it. If you didn't do it, I would've done it myself!"

Her grin widened as she turned back to Ry, who was just standing up straight after her hit. "I think that was uncalled for."

Katniss stuck her tongue out at him.

Real or not real

When Prim saw the Mellark brothers, she practically begged Katniss to stop by their bakery. She even threw in the puppy-dog eyes. Katniss, who wasn't even that opposed to the visit (and secretly hoped to be invited), feigned reluctance and said yes to her sister.

Prim, as excited as she always is, grabbed a hold of Ry's hand and dragged him along, 'so they'd get there faster'. Katniss was left alone with Peeta.

"How was your day?" Peeta asked after a minute of silence.

"Good," Katniss answered, smiling down at her feet. She looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes and asked, "you?"

He smiled down at her before looking forward once again. "It was good."

Silence again.

"I, uh, finished a painting in art," Peeta spoke up again, sneaking a glance towards her.

Katniss smiled. "I bet it's beautiful. You're a really talented artist."

Peeta blushed, "you've seen my paintings before?"

She stopped walking and looked up into the sky. Had she seen his paintings before? Or were the ones she saw in her head made up? "I... I think so?"

She wasn't sure if she zoned out or what, but when she looked forward again, her hand was in Peeta's and they were already in front of Mellark's Bakery. She stared at the back of his head as he led her through the front door behind her sister and his brother. How long had she been in her own head?

He turned his head towards her and noticed that she was watching him.

"Oh, sorry," he said, letting go of her hand. But when she held on tighter, he wrapped his fingers around her palm and pulled her along. "You just zoned out and you wouldn't answer me, so... I just... led you here."

"Oh," Katniss breathed. "Um, my bad. I didn't mean to... you know, vacate... I'm not all here, yet."

He gave her a small smile. "That's perfectly fine."

He had to let go of her hand when he stepped behind the counter. She watched him wrap an apron around himself after placing his bag down. He stepped up to the display rack filled with beautifully decorated cookies and looked into her eyes. "Want a cookie?"

"I don't have any money on me..."

"On the house," he said, picking a flowery one from the case. He handed it to her and gave her a sweet smile. "We're friends, right?"

Friends. Oh, she never knew she could hate that word. "Yeah. Friends."

"So, have the cookie. A friendly gift."

Katniss gingerly took the cookie from his grasp and sighed. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

She tried her best not to look depressed as she sat at one of the tables and nibbled on the cookie slowly. She hoped Prim wouldn't want to stay for long. She really wanted to go home.

~Chapter 4 End~