What's Real

~Chapter 6~

They decided to talk on Sunday, since Peeta finished work early. They'd meet at the meadow on the edge of town at noon and spend the rest of the day together. After they made their plans, Peeta rushed off towards the bakery, stating that his mother would be angry with him for being late. She felt guilty for getting him into trouble, hoping that he wouldn't be punished for taking the time to walk her home. But when she went inside and was met with the over-enthusiastic actions of her family, her thoughts centered on them, knowing they had listened in on she and Peeta's conversation on the front porch.

She ignored the glances her parents sent her and started up the stairs, Prim deciding she'd rather stay downstairs. Katniss ignored the whispers of the rest of her family as she shut her door softly behind her. She dropped her bag and flopped down on her bed, allowing the nervous butterflies to take over her body.

She didn't know what would happen when she told Peeta about the life she'd made up in her head. She didn't know if he'd still want to be within reach of her, let alone stay her friend. After all, she might as well have been announcing her undying love for him! She was scared that he would reject her feelings, reject her friendship, reject her for everything she was. She just wasn't ready to let her Boy with the Break go, and she knew she never would be. But keeping this all to herself- not letting him know how much he means to her, not trying to make him hers once more- was something that she didn't know if she could live with. One day, he may just decide to get married to another girl, have kids with another girl, and she would have to pretend that she was okay with watching the love of her life live happily in someone else's arms.

No, Katniss couldn't let that happen. She didn't have the goodness in herself to watch that for the rest of her life. She knew her Peeta- the one in her made-up world- would do just that if it made her happy. Her Peeta had so much dedication and love for her, he would do anything to make sure she lived the life she wanted, even if it was without him. Katniss, however, knew she was selfish. Of course she wanted him to be happy! Of course she wanted him to live his life the way he wanted to and do what was best for him. She just wouldn't be able to watch it. She wouldn't be able to live with it, be near him while knowing her feelings would never be reciprocated.

She guessed this is where the two differed. Peeta held so much goodness in her heart, and Katniss… well, she just didn't. He would offer to be her friend for the rest of his life while she was with another in ways that he couldn't be. As much as Katniss wanted to say she would do the same, she didn't know if she could. But this wasn't her Peeta, the Peeta that she'd known in the world she'd created. This Peeta was the real Peeta- the one that her mind warped into someone who loved her and got her to love him. She didn't know why she'd chosen him. There were many guys that she could have used as her muse, but it seemed that he'd made quite the impression on her so many years ago. It's a wonder that she doesn't remember just what caused her to notice him so much. Hopefully when she talked to him on Sunday, she'd get her answers.

Real or not real

As the week dragged on, Katniss and Delly's friendship seemed to grow deeper. Delly always found a reason to hang onto Katniss, whether it be to hold her hand or give her a hug. The friendly girl couldn't keep her hands off of Katniss and, if she were being honest, Katniss was growing a bit uncomfortable with all of the girl's attention.

However, Katniss couldn't find it in her to push Delly away or scold her. Instead, she just went along with what Delly wanted, allowing Delly to hold her hand or giving the girl hugs before Delly swept her into her arms. Katniss didn't think it was all that bad, though. She'd never really had the friendship where physical gestures such as hugging and hand holding was a thing, but it wasn't terrible. She tried not to think about how the girl's touchiness was a level over what she was seeing in the hallways between other girls' friend groups, convincing herself that Delly was just a lot more friendly than all the others. After all, in Katniss' dream, Delly was much nicer than all the other girls in the school. So that had to account for something, right? Then again, Delly annoyed her in her dream as well, seeing as Katniss didn't enjoy the kind of attention Delly brought for her.

Maybe Peeta could elaborate on the relationship she had with Delly before her accident as well.

Despite the confusion on how Katniss knew Delly before, she'd found herself learning more about the blonde haired girl than she ever thought she would. Delly was the daughter of the shoemaker and she and Peeta were best friends since they were in diapers. She found that Delly was fond of math and enjoyed watching 'movies,' whatever that was. When Delly found out Katniss didn't understand what a movie was, she'd taken it upon herself to plan a 'movie night' with her that Saturday, promising her that it would be fun and they could even invite Madge if she wanted. Katniss agreed, and they invited Madge, the event quickly turning into a slumber party at Katniss'- seeing as the girls didn't want to overwhelm Katniss too much- and a way for Katniss to reacquaint herself with her friends.

Having Delly sit at Katniss' table during lunch seemed to make their friendship turn in a new direction, and to her surprise, she didn't really mind. And the fact that Peeta seemed to pay more attention to her now that Delly was always around didn't make it any worse. Though Katniss admitted he'd paid more attention to her without Delly's presence, but Katniss would take any attention from Peeta that she could get. After all, Peeta's constant need to find reasons to touch her and to talk to her made Katniss feel so much better about the situation.

However, she couldn't help but notice the tension between the two friends, something she thought she'd never see in her lifetime. Whenever one greeted her, the other wasn't too far behind. And whenever one touched her, the other touched her as well. It was as if there were some rivalry going on between the two and Katniss didn't know what to do. She didn't understand the conflict going on between the two, but she knew that she played a very large part in it.

Real or not real

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Katniss looked up at Delly, startled at her sudden question.

She was sat between Delly and Peeta, the two of them trying to sit as close to her as possible without making her uncomfortable. Before then, Delly was immersed in a conversation with Madge that Katniss didn't feel a need to be a part of. And Peeta was just as silent as she, once in a while watching her out of the corners of his eyes like she was to him.

"What?"

Delly rolled her eyes and shared a look with Madge. "Tomorrow? The sleepover? Don't tell me you didn't ask your parents."

The realization dawned on her. Tomorrow was Saturday, the day the girls planned to have a sleepover. Katniss asked her parents the day Delly brought the party up and they readily agreed, saying it would be good for her and her recovery.

Katniss scowled. "I asked. And I already told you they said yes."

Suddenly, Peeta's voice made its way into the conversation. "What are you girls talking about?"

Katniss turned to look at him while Delly replied for them, "we planned a sleepover at Katniss' house. We're going to show her what a movie is."

At first, Peeta looked upset, but his curiosity quickly took over. As he turned to Katniss, he asked, "you don't know what a movie is?"

Katniss' face burnt red. "No."

Peeta looked perplexed. "But I swear I saw you at the local movie theater before-"

"Well it doesn't matter now!" Delly interrupted. "She's lost all of her memories from before, so you can't expect her to remember something so trivial."

Katniss felt guilty at the hurt expression on Peeta's face. It was obvious that Delly knew at least more about Katniss' time in the coma than Peeta, and he obviously sensed that after Delly's outburst. The look in his eyes as he looked at Katniss made her feel ashamed. She promised Peeta that she'd explain everything to him and it felt like a sort of betrayal that she'd been telling everyone around him about what went on in her head before she let him know a hint.

Not knowing how to fix the situation, she placed her hand on Peeta's and squeezed. "I promise I'll let you know. Sunday."

Peeta's eyes flickered back down to his food and nodded.

And out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the trepidation in Delly's eyes as Katniss went back to finishing up her lunch.

Real or not real

"The closest thing to a movie that we had was the recap of the Hunger Games," Katniss stated, flopping down onto the pillow and blanket covered floor.

By this time of night, Katniss had gone through her reality of the past few years with Madge while Delly listened to the story again. Katniss felt a little bad that it took this long for her to let her closest girlfriend know about the life she'd made up in her head, but finally getting Madge in the loop made a bit of the weight in her chest ease up.

"Are you going to tell everyone else?" It was the first thing that Madge said after hearing the story. All three girls had been silent whilst watching the movie that Delly brought over from her home.

Katniss looked at the two girls before replying. "I want to tell Peeta first. Before the rest of them."

Delly scrunched up her eyebrows. "Why? You've already let us know. It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Katniss' cheeks burned as she played with her blanket. "This whole daydream was about him! Of course it matters, Delly. I just... "

Delly cut her off. "Just because it's about him doesn't mean that all those feelings you made up were real too! Nothing you dreamed up was real at all, so why should the emotions be?"

The room was quiet between the three girls, all of them fidgeting slightly. Madge cleared her throat and stood up a moment later. "I think I'll get some water."

After Madge left the room, Delly looked straight to Katniss. Their eyes locked and they held each others' gazes for a few beats. And suddenly, Delly stood up from her perch on the couch and made her way to Katniss' side, flopping down beside the girl just as she'd done not too long before.

"You know," Delly began, "I didn't mean to hurt you or anything."

Katniss shook her head. "You didn't. It's just that this is all so confusing and it scares me a little. I obviously feel something for him, you know? I wouldn't have dreamt of marrying him or doing all I did with him if I didn't… you know…"

"Love him?"

Katniss nodded.

Delly let out a long, tired sigh. "But what if it was just a childhood crush?"

"What?"

"You know, what if your feelings aren't the same as before now?" Delly reiterated, biting her lip.

Katniss looked down at her hands and thought about how Peeta looked, how she felt when she was with him, the fact that she was going to tell him everything in less than 24 hours. The butterflies she felt in her stomach were rabidly energized, causing fluttering that almost made her nauseous.

"I don't know," Katniss said. "It still feels so real."

She turned her face to look at the blonde haired girl and automatically felt concerned. Delly looked so sad- almost heartbroken- and Katniss didn't know what to do.

"Hey," Katniss began softly bringing her hand up to the girl's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Delly shook her head and covered her face with her hands. She took a couple of shaky breaths before looking back at the gray eyed girl, a look of determination glinting in her eyes. "I can help."

"Help? Help what?"

"Make it not real."

Katniss blinked. "Why would I want that?"

"Because things could be different!" Delly scooted closer to her, resting her forehead against Katniss'. "Things are different."

When Delly pressed her forehead to hers, Katniss did her best to keep herself from flinching. She felt so confused over what Delly was talking about. Why would Delly be so against Katniss being with Peeta? Her heart sunk.

"Delly," she began slowly, tongue heavy in her mouth, "do you… want Peeta?"

Delly leaned back in obvious surprise, her eyes widening and expression portraying strong disbelief. "What? No! I don't want him!"

Katniss sat up, hands gesturing wildly. "Then why would you want to keep me from him?"

There was a moment of silence before Delly sighed and sat up as well. She placed herself right in front of Katniss and looked deep into her eyes. "What if I want to have you instead?"

Katniss sputtered. "What?"

Delly huffed, clearly annoyed. "What I mean is that I don't like Peeta. He's my friend. And now, he's my rival."

Katniss leaned towards Delly, confusion etched into her face. "Your rival? What are you two fighting for? I don't understand!"

All of a sudden, Delly's hands flew up to either side of Katniss' face, securing the dark haired girl in place. And quickly, after a moment of hesitation, Delly leaned in and placed her lips onto Katniss'. It was a soft, awkward kiss that only lasted a second, yet Katniss still felt her head spin and body freeze with surprise and disbelief.

Delly slowly dropped her hands. "Peeta's my best friend. But he's also my rival."

It was then that Katniss understood.

Real or not real

It was as if Madge were listening in to the conversation, because after that, she made her entrance into the living room and plopped back down on her set of blankets and pillows. Katniss had to admire her for trying her best to keep up conversation, make things less awkward and keep the festivities going. She knew if Madge weren't there, the night would have gone a lot worse after that incident.

However, the girls were able to settle down and settle into a comfortable rhythm of watching movies, snacking on food and playing games (sometimes even Real or Not Real). Katniss told them who knew her story and said that if they wanted to talk about it with someone, they could with those who have heard the whole thing. The two blondes nodded in understanding and promised they wouldn't let anyone outside of the listed people know.

Katniss was glad that Delly wasn't acting awkward or hostile towards her. She liked having the girl as her friend, enjoyed her company. Although it was awkward to know that she had feelings for her, she didn't want to lose a friend because of it. She knew how it felt. She'd gone through such heartbreak when she'd lost Gale after the Revolution. So she was glad that she was given the opportunity to stay friends with the very social girl.

Katniss couldn't remember when they all fell asleep, but when she woke up in the morning, her parents were already in the kitchen cooking breakfast. The conversation over the meal was easy and fun and Katniss finally felt like she was a part of this world she was taken from for so long. Madge was the first of them to leave since her father needed her at home to help out. This left Katniss and Delly alone since they had their conversation the night before. Katniss knew that should should talk to her before she left; it was the best thing to do. Talking things out would keep their friendship from crumbling, and she knew that she wanted to prevent a fallout as much as she could. So, with her parents and Prim cleaning up the dining room, Katniss led Delly out to the front porch where they sat on the bench along the wall.

Katniss was the one to break the silence. "I'm sorry. I should have noticed."

Delly shook her head. "No, I knew how you felt. I shouldn't have been so selfish."

"I'm glad you told me."

"I just… knew I had to. I couldn't just give up."

Katniss turned her head to grin sheepishly at Delly. "I get the feeling."

Delly laughed. "So today's the big day, right? You're gonna tell Peeta everything."

Katniss bit her lip, looking down at her lap. "Yeah. I am."

The two sat silently, watching the seldom car passing through the street. Katniss looked at Delly again. "I hope we can still be friends."

The blond haired girl whipped her head towards her. "Of course! Why wouldn't we?"

"I just don't want things to be messed up because of this."

Delly's eyes lit up in understanding. "Gale. In your dream."

"Yeah."

Delly placed her hand atop Katniss', catching the other girl's eyes with her own. "I couldn't just leave you. At least I know I have you forever if we're friends."

Katniss grinned and Delly mirrored her expression. "Thank you."

Delly nodded. Just then, Delly's mother pulled into the driveway. "Good luck today."

Real or not neal

Katniss let Prim pick her outfit for meeting Peeta. She was so nervous she felt like she couldn't think straight. Having her sister there to comfort and help her was something that Katniss was extremely grateful for; having Prim by her side when she needed her was a gift that she could barely live without when her dream Prim died. She enjoyed the feeling of Prim brushing her hair and twisting the strands into a french braid that fell over her shoulder. She loved the confidence she gained as the two of them talked, the reassuring gestures and words spoken giving Katniss hope so strong that she thought Peeta just may feel the same for her as she did for him. Prim grounded her and supported her. She was so happy she had her sister to rely on. Things were so much better with Prim around than when she wasn't.

When Prim announced her as finished, Katniss looked at herself in the mirror. She looked… nice. Casual and cute. A white tank top tucked into a flowy skirt, flats and a jean jacket. Perfect for a picnic out in the meadow. Sending a grateful smile to her sister, she stood and collected the picnic blanket they'd be using from the closet and went downstairs to see a picnic basket sitting on the kitchen counter.

"It's for your date," Katniss's mother said, wiping her hands on a towel.

Katniss blushed. "It's not a date."

Failing to hide her smile, Mrs. Everdeen placed the towel beside the sink and placed her hand on Katniss' shoulder. "Don't be nervous. I'm sure everything between the two of you will be fine."

It felt odd for her mother to act this way towards her. She was so used to taking care of her instead of the other way around that it made her feel slightly uncomfortable and confused on how to act. She felt bad for thinking of her mother that way- especially since the events that happened in her dream never actually happened- so she fought to rebuild her relationship with her mother and recreate the trust she'd had in her before she was stuck in the world inside her head.

"But what if he thinks I'm… creepy?" Katniss asked, her eyebrows scrunching together.

"He's a sweet boy. He'll understand." Mrs. Everdeen swept some of Katniss' loose hairs behind her ear and dropped a kiss onto her forehead. She smiled. "Just have fun."

Katniss gave her a soft smile. "I'll try."

Picking up the basket, Katniss placed the blanket beneath the handle so she could hold both items with one hand. She made her way into the living room to see her dad sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels. He turned around a gave her a smile as if telling her good luck. Katniss smiled back and made her way towards the door.

After slipping on her shoes, she stood staring at the closed door. The nerves were making her jittery and she felt as the if the butterflies were taking over her body. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, opened the door, and began her trek to the meadow.

Real or not real

She'd been lying in the middle of the meadow for a few minutes before she heard the sound of feet running towards her through the grass. She'd set up the blanket and found herself relaxing beneath the rays of the sun, wondering what it would be like if Peeta were actually hers. She felt warm and content, thankful to forget the anxiety she had when she thought about her plans to tell Peeta everything. However, hearing him running towards her, her heart began to hammer once more and she opened her eyes to watch him make his way to her.

He looked like he just finished a shower, the droplets of water in his hair making his blond locks shine more than normal. His outfit looked carefully picked out, kind of like how hers was. She was glad that she let Prim pick out her outfit. She wouldn't have been able to look so good without her.

She sat up, positioning herself so that the skirt didn't ride up too far up her thighs. Yet she still caught Peeta's eyes dart to her legs before quickly looking back to her with a bashful grin. She smiled. "Hi."

Peeta sat down beside her, slipping off his shoes and placing them beside her flats that were sitting beside the blanket. "Hey."

Katniss looked down. "I brought food. If you're hungry…"

"Of course! It sounds great."

In silence, they pulled food out of the picnic basket, along with plates and forks. Katniss piled food onto both of their plates and gave Peeta a smile. "I hope you like it."

He grinned. "I'm sure I will."

They dug in and Katniss couldn't keep herself from watching Peeta devour his food. He must've worked really hard or skipped breakfast because she'd never seen him eat like this. When he looked up to see her watching him, he blushed. "I didn't have much to eat for breakfast. And it was really busy in the bakery today."

Katniss smiled. "There's no need to be embarrassed. Eat as much as you like."

He smiled at her gratefully and began eating once more, this time slower than before.

"How was your sleep over?" He asked her.

Katniss felt her cheeks turn red. "It was… good."

Peeta raised an eyebrow at her. "What happened?"

"Nothing!"

"Did Delly say something about me? I swear, if she did-"

"No!" She cut him off. "She didn't say anything about you."

He stared at her in silence, digesting what she'd just said. "Nothing about me… So something about her?"

Katniss looked away as she felt her cheeks grow hotter. "Uh…"

Peeta's eyes grew wide. "She didn't… did she tell you?"

She gulped. "Tell me what?"

"That she… likes you?"

Katniss brought her hands to her face, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Peeta leaned his head back, letting out a groan of disappointment. "I can't believe she did that!"

Suddenly, a thought came to Katniss' head. She looked up at Peeta and asked, "have I ever been kissed before?"

"She kissed you?"

"No! I mean, yes, but it didn't mean anything!"

"How could it not-"

"I told her I don't like her that way."

"Oh." He's silent for a moment before he lets his concern show once more. "Are you two okay?"

Katniss smiled. "Yeah, We talked it out and she understands. She's a great person, great friend."

Peeta looked down to his food and smiled. "Yeah, she is."

When they finished, they put the food away and placed the basket off to the side of the blanket. They laid down, looking up at the sky as they basked in each other's presence.

"So," Peeta began, breaking the comfortable silence between them, "what do you mean about me being different than me?"

Katniss laughed. "It's a long story… kind of weird. I'm just afraid that it will scare you away. I don't think I could stand losing you again."

Peeta rolled onto his side to look at Katniss, bending his arm beneath his head to support it. "Lose me?"

Katniss blushed and trained her eyes up to the sky, embarrassed about what she revealed. However, she felt fingers brush beneath her chin and she tilted her head to the side, locking eyes with Peeta.

His smile was warm and breathtaking. "You could never lose me."

For a moment, all they did was look into each other's eyes. The butterflies she felt in her stomach only got stronger with his statement and she felt like she couldn't breath. With such words, she knew she had a chance at being with him again, at feeling his love again, and she desperately wanted his love. She felt like she would go crazy without it.

She bit her lip, hesitating to tell him everything. She could just not tell him the truth, hide from him that she creepily dreamt of becoming his wife and having his children. She could keep those things from him and they could live together happily. But she knew she couldn't lie. The act would forever be on her conscience and she would always feel guilty for not telling him what she had dreamt, about how deeply in love with him she is and all because of a silly dream she had when she was in a coma. She didn't want to lose him. But he said she wouldn't!

Katniss took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Still holding his eyes with her own, she opened her mouth and began to speak.

~Chapter 6 End~