Hey everyone! No warnings for this chapter, and a lovely thanks to my beta Lexy for being an angel! Hope you like it!

HxH is not mine, nor are the characters, yet here we all are.

The sound of the train's whistle signaled the opening of the former assassin's eyes, pulling him from his twilight sleep. Though he hadn't been fully out, the reprieve had been refreshing enough to keep him from wanting to drift back into it immediately. Instead, he was happy to bask in the quietness of that which surrounded him as the old fashioned locomotive shot through the falling dark, ambiently caressing his senses as it shook from side to side with the force of its journey. He turned his head take in the sight next to him, carefully so as not to disturb the young man who slept gently against his shoulder, before looking at the sleeping figure across from him. Leorio, thankfully, had learned to sleep more gracefully than he had during his teenage years, only slouching slightly from his upright sitting position, mouth mercifully shut. Killua was surprised at how relaxed he seemed, especially in the present company, but more so at the fact that he hadn't woken since first passing out. Leorio had a tendency to jump at the smallest hint of trouble when it came to taking care of his loved ones – even if that hint was no danger at all. Seeing the doctor in such a state soothed the white haired one like almost nothing else; the only thing that could have given him similar comfort was pressing against him in the form of Kurapika, breathing lightly into his shirt.

He would have smiled to himself if not for the sleepy feeling that flooded over him, pulling his eyelids closed before he slipped back into peaceful slumber.

This was not how he'd expected things to turn out. Somehow, he was alright with that.

...

Though he'd been angrily flustered when he'd addressed Leorio, once the door behind him was closed the volatile energy he'd been harboring disappeared in a flourish of nervous exhaustion. Alluka was looking up from where she sat at the desk on the other side of her room, not seeming surprised in the least that he'd barged in after his last disappearance. In fact, her face had been eerily somber, thin lines creasing her forehead. It pained him to see pink puffiness under her eyes, even if he was in a similar state.

He had cried more in the past few months than he had in his entire life. A nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach told him not to expect the flow of tears to stop just yet.

For the first time, Alluka looked older. The added height and growth elsewhere had done nothing against her child-like enthusiasm for everything, the way the world seemed to sparkle by her just being in it. Now, though, in the room lit only by sunshine impeded by fast moving clouds, he could see the biggest difference. It was all in the eyes, the gateway to her souls, where Killua could see scars of remorse, and worse, regret.

She didn't speak, but he knew it was because there was another conversation happening, one that he couldn't hear. Most likely, Nanika was urging her other half to jump into gear with kind words (as Alluka didn't struggle the way Nanika did in finding them) and shows of affection, but the outward twin only sat back, silent. Giving him the chance to speak. Giving him the chance to leave.

Had he been less conflicted, he would've taken her into his arms then and there.

Instead, he hid his eyes with the fringe of his white hair, toing off his shoes as he made his way inside and sliding over to sit on the edge of her monstrous bed- a gift from the director, so he'd heard. She waited until he was situated in the center to join him, keeping her distance as he pulled his knees to his chest, looking nowhere.

"I hate this." He bit his lip after speaking, knowing he could only be so open with the two in front of him but having trouble with it either way. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Alluka's face flick to Nanika, but she was back so quickly he wondered if he'd been mistaken.

"Me too." He could tell from the way she held herself that it was taking a great effort for her not to reach out and take his hand in hers, something for which he was momentarily grateful. That would come later, once the bile was gone.

"How," he began, but found himself muttering curses under his breath. "How did you even find out?" Alluka shook her head rapidly, the beads in her hair clinking together as the ruffles came in contact with each other.

"Nanika just knows things." She seemed to be dissatisfied with her own answer, for she amended, "She reads people better than I do, too. So as soon as she knew, she told me." A second of quiet passed between them. "I didn't want to believe it, at first…"

He looked up at that, but his sister's head was downturned, out of decipherable sight. Her hands were clasped over one another, the thumb of her right hand gently rubbing circles into the back of her left one. One soothing another, no doubt. She had gotten somewhere in her training, for aspects of both girls to show at once, he mused, caught up in the moment.

"But I did."

Killua snapped back immediately at the sound of Alluka's voice, but found himself looking directly into Nanika's depthless eyes.

"Gon-kun isn't bad."

She said it with conviction intense enough to create the illusion of fluid speech, but the way she shook was enough to prove that it was through determination alone. Large tears rolled down her cheeks as she pushed further, trying to find the right way to say what she fought to get across.

"He's just wrong."

He'd been reaching out then, to wipe the wetness from her face when her words stopped him in his tracks. Alluka was there in his stead, both hands on her cheeks as she fought back what remained in her eyes and cleared the rest away. The white haired boy sat, dumfounded, as she collected herself.

"I think Nanika's right. But that doesn't matter." Looking like a damned angel she reached out, not seeming to notice the way his hand fell gracelessly to his side as he stared wide eyed into her. With fingers as delicate as her precious heart, she cupped his cheek, warming him, comforting him, grounding him. He could feel himself shaking, if not from the force of their words, from the gentleness of their touch. "I am so sorry, Onii-chan. We both are. We didn't understand how it would hurt you. I'm so sorry."

There was matching wetness on his cheeks- from where it came he was unsure. Alluka cringed slightly at the sight, wiping away what hit her hand with her thumb as it did. He let his head fall forward, pulling her with him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder belatedly, taking in the comfort that only his sister could provide.

"It isn't your fault." He managed to choke out, stroking her hair in a manner that was more soothing to him than it was to her. "It's neither of your faults."

"We didn't know how to tell you," she continued, as if once the dam of speech had been opened it was beyond her control to hold it back. "We'd thought Gon-kun would have a plan- that there wouldn't be a chance for us getting hurt if he was willing to do it! And then it was too late, and we were so scared." She was beside herself now, curling into the arm over her as the reality of what happened played over in her mind's eye.

Even if he had been angry, even if at one point some of it had been directed at his precious girls, he couldn't help but to sympathize. Of course they wouldn't have worried over it like he would- despite the time spent travelling together they had never seen Gon under the conditions that Killua had, didn't know his inclinations of strategy. For most of their time together Gon had been Nen-less, downplaying his extremist gambles simply because there was no sense of necessity to do so, no sense of immediate danger like there had been in Yorkshin or on NGL. Rather, things had been peaceful, punctuated with evenings of sleeping out in the open, three bodies tanged around each other without worries of extermination. Alluka had only ever seen Gon when his predilection lay in kindness- when kindness was the only option for someone, as compared with those who he'd have challenged, who was weak. Conflicts had been faced either by Killua or under his supervision; had anything been beyond Gon's capabilities, the other teen had always intervened.

He'd been a victim of the same folly before, with more foreknowledge than the girls had. How could he blame them for believing?

The anger and sadness quickly was turning to something steeped in shameful understanding, at least of what his sister had done. Still, something didn't sit right with him, even after all the explanation.

"Alluka," her name was a point on which he stabilized himself, focusing on his question with a resolve that dried up the wells in his eyes. He had to know, needed to understand her apprehension in seeing him before. Asking, though, was the difficult part. "It's about Gon. I'd just thought… Are you afraid of him now?"

He knew it wasn't fair, asking a question which held two meanings without disclosing one of them to her, but it was her answer that he'd choose to act on, if the time came. To be honest, it was his way of not having to ask it himself, projecting outward, pushing the decision making into the land of possible justification. Everything was easier when it was him and Alluka against the world; he knew which he'd choose over the other in an instant if asked. The dark haired girl's face had hardened somewhat at the question, a listening face in part but something else hid behind eyes, something akin to uncertainty. It was with carefulness unlike her that she choose to speak, concise while trepidant.

"No." Afraid was not the word, though she failed to find another. "But we understood how you felt. That's all that matters, Killu-nii."

And when it hit, it hit like red hot coals to his wrists, jumping, searing, painful realization that despite being baseless could only be the truth. Because when it came down to it, Killua had left Gon for his selfishness, for his single-mindedness, without thinking of his own actions. He'd been so blinded-literally and figuratively- after the final battle that he hadn't even thought of what his sister would have wanted: he'd simply assumed that the danger and fright was enough for her to push Gon away as much as he had.

But Killua was neither Alluka, the compassionate, nor Nanika, the pure of intent; he stood outside their minds only to guess what went on inside. Perhaps he had chosen wrong. Perhaps the unredeemable sin was his: the incapability to forgive.

Or perhaps the girls were just too good for any of them. Either way, the world seemed wrong.

"Nii-chan." Her hands were grasping tightly around his forearms, drawing his eyes to hers as she pulled back to look at him. He swore that he could see Nanika behind them, looking back at him with equal intensity. "I think you were right. To make him go."

Killua blinked slowly, taking that in. It wasn't what he'd expected, but if the girls could forgive Gon, he didn't know why he was surprised at the prospect of them taking his side.

"You needed it- the time away from him. We think it's a good thing for you to be apart for a while." Slowly, he nodded. Alluka was right. It was glaringly obvious that Alluka was right. He leaned in briefly, pressing his lips to her forehead gently before attempting a smile, though he knew she could see how difficult it was. It was one of the reasons why he loved her so much.

"Yeah. What do you say then? You, me, and the oceans of Cerulea? Bisky says it's the color of Blue Planet- we can visit her along the way. Let's go, just us. You've been here for long enough; I'm sure Leorio can do something to make it all work out." He was silenced when the eyes in front of him changed, growing big and black and expressively empty.

"No, Killu-nii." Nanika stared back at him with such sad empathy. His face fell immediately, before she even had a moment to finish. "We can't come with you."

And even if the world was wrong, it still had the ability to fall out from under him.

They'd been kind in telling him, and he understood, but it had still stung to hear that any adventures would have to be postponed. More than that, though, was the assumption that he wouldn't be able to focus inward with the girls around. That had been their major argument for sending him off and staying behind; they wanted him to do some serious thinking about himself. And about Gon.

To be fair, he knew that if given the chance, he'd have done nothing but dote on her to avoid himself.

As it turned out, there was something else Leorio could do. Alluka had given her brother a few days of rest before pushing him out the door, keeping him on a short leash in the interim. It had been she who contacted the doctor and made the arrangements, talking quietly into the receiver of her cell phone from the balcony while Killua slept inside. He did that often, over the duration of his stay, often enough to make her wonder if he could've used another week of nothing but sleep before she threw him into the wild. There wasn't enough time for that, though; the tickets had been bought and soon enough it was time for his send off. The doctor showed up the day of the departure as had been planned, bags in hand, to take his young companion away. Nothing was said of Gon; Alluka had asked it and Leorio had made sure that he'd gone his own way, wherever that would lead him. Trying not to think too much on the subject, Killua did not ask for elaboration.

The goodbyes were short and purposeful, reminding him that this was not like the other journeys that he had gone on: no matter how far his legs would take him, he still had to dive in deep. Alluka had plenty of tears to shed and hugs to give before wishing him well and disappearing back into her ward, denying him the opportunity to change his mind. As much as it hurt to see her walk away from him, he was thankful that he hadn't had to turn his back to her.

In the amount of time it took for them to ride the elevators down to the ground floor of the hospital, Killua already had his doubts.

But then the double doors slid open, revealing a bright outside and a brighter blond head, a face that he hadn't seen clearly in far too long, and the complications he'd worried over washed away. His first step out had been slow, dreamlike, but in moments he'd burst into a full on sprint. He stopped just in time not to mow him down, hesitation in the lines of his face before caving and enveloping him in his skinny arms. Kurapika only smiled, lifting his bandaged hands to wrap his own extremities around the younger one. With his own soft features, Leorio came up on them slowly, ruffling the pair's hair despite Killua's squirming.

They took off thereafter, trading in their tickets for seats on the old Eastern train, heading out into a land that was known for its serene beauty. Killua had listened to the two's unexpected story of reunion, basking in the happy togetherness, the warmth that he felt coming from the friend at his side. Like that, they drifted off to sleep, waiting for a waking that meant new beginnings, and ultimately, peace.

...

There was kickback from the engines of the machine, shaking the compartment of the passenger car and waking its travelers. Killua tensed at the initial tremor, relaxing as he remembered his surroundings and peeked over the blond head to his side to look out the window. They had slowed considerably by the passing rate of trees flying by, working to what seemed a rather difficult stop. Night had fallen long ago, the dim lighting of the car supplemented only by orange moonlight. The former assassin blinked slowly, admiring the dark landscape before letting his eyes slip back shut and leaning equally onto the body which pushed against him. Their projected journey by train was another day, and if Kurapika seemed content to sleep through each stop, so did he.

He didn't notice the way quiet seemed to spread as the locomotive halted, the murmuring chatter from the other compartments or the footsteps that seemed not to go anywhere. What he did notice, as his eyelids drifted shut, was the way Leorio sat up straight, awake and alert.

"This," he started, unsure, squinting as he leaned toward the glass of the window, peering outside. "isn't the station."

Suddenly, lights failed and the car was shrouded in black, no more than a few seconds passing before the darkness transitioned to red.

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