Oscar wasn't sure if it was empathy or the simple reminder of what he'd gone through, but his own tears came back while Sam cried. His were silent, because he was used to being silent in everything he did. It was ingrained into him. Silent steps, silent work, silent crying on the nights when he was so hungry he couldn't think of anything but the emptiness in his core.
Even now, when he had someone he could tell all about what scared him about living this way, no words could come out. It was the opposite of when he'd first encountered Sam. So terrified of the giant hands clamped around him, Oscar's usual quiet resolve was shattered completely then, but now their roles had switched. He wished he knew what to say to make Sam feel better, but even Oscar knew that was wishful thinking.
There wasn't a magic word for this one. Just like there was no magic word to make him feel better about the fact that his mother had left the small house around a year ago to get food and had never come back. Oscar would never know what happened to her, and when he next took a breath, it was shaky from the thought.
"M-maybe i-if you tell him, you won't feel a-as scared after," Oscar stammered out. It was a long shot, certainly, but he knew that the alternative meant a feeling like waiting at the very edge of something. Like standing just outside the light that made it into the vents, but unable to get any closer to the opening.
"I-I really wish," he continued, his voice cracking right in the middle of it. He took a short breath and started over. "I r-really wish I told mom the night she w-went out that I was cold," he said. "I-I didn' tell her and now I can't."
It was such a simple thing that he never got to tell his mom. He didn't want to bother her with it. But sometimes Oscar would think, while he shivered under the covers, what if he had told her? What if she had decided to stay with him to hold him and keep him warm and gone out the next night instead? Even if she still disappeared, he could have had one more day.
Sam hiccuped again as his tears started to slow down. His breathing remained shaky as he tried to draw in a deep breath and calm down from the overload. Oscar's words got through to him even with all the emotions swirling around the pair. He tried to imagine telling Dean that he still got scared of the older boy. That he was afraid of being left in a giant room on his own.
"I'll… I'll try…" Sam promised hesitantly. He knew Oscar was right. If Dean didn't know he was afraid, how could he help Sam? Dean would do anything for him… if he knew about it. Sam needed to be the one to let him know. It was impossible for him to understand if he wasn't told. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears that were filling them to fall down his cheeks.
"You didn't know," Sam managed to say to Oscar. "You didn't know and you couldn't know and it's not your fault that she's gone now. Just make sure that you live your life and she'll be proud of you, no matter what happened to her. I bet she'd be thrilled to know you made it after she left. Just like mom would be proud of me and Dean even all these years later. She wouldn't want us to be sad all the time."
"Yeah," Oscar answered softly, barely more than a breath. He sighed, a slow, measured breath that carried some of the emotions out of him. He finally relinquished Sam from his hug with a sheepish smile and a breezy chuckle that became a hiccup and a sniffle. Now that they'd gotten so much off their chests, he felt a nice calm washing over him. It was nice to be able to tell someone the thing that had bothered him since he'd first realized he was truly alone.
He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, brushing away the tears with determination not to let them come flowing again. A thought came to him and Oscar stood, going to the side of the room where a narrow counter stood, with a few cubby shelves worked right into the wall above it. Oscar hoisted himself up onto the counter to retrieve something from the shelves, hopping down and bustling back over to the door. Near it was the lid of the pill bottle that supported his table, and Oscar dipped the silvery cup he'd retrieved from the shelf in it, filling it with water.
He brought the foil cup back over to Sam and placed it in his hands with a shaky smile. "Here. A-and you can keep the cup too, if you want it."
Sam held the metal cup in one hand and scrubbed at his eyes with his other sleeve, trying to banish the last of the tears that clung to him. His cheeks cracked a little when he offered the other kid his own hesitant smile from the dried tears that were still there. "T-thanks," he managed to say, taking a deep gulp of the soothing liquid right away. He was too concerned with that to even remember that it was his first time drinking out of an actual cup in over a month now.
With some of the pain of crying washed away, Sam dipped his fingers into the tinfoil cup to wet them and tried his best to clear off the rest of his face. He sniffled as he worked, trying to keep himself together. It did feel good to get some of that out into the air. The emotions had been building up inside his chest ever since being cursed.
"Guess I've been holding that in for a while," Sam said with an uncertain laugh. His family wasn't big on showing emotions like they'd just done. If he or Dean ever did anything like that it would just result in condemnation from their father. That silent stare, like he was disappointed in them for having actual emotions showing… Dean got it a lot worse than Sam did if he let any 'weakness' out. But Sam could still feel the disappointment, even if it wasn't as prominent as it was for the older son.
Oscar returned the smile. "Me too," he answered softly. He certainly hadn't expected such a strong show of emotions out of them just during a simple visit to his home. But, he supposed, if Sam had been holding that in for so long precisely because he was always close to Dean, the opportunity had all but jumped in his face. Dean couldn't hear them here, even if he had his ear to the wall right now.
Even though the topics were sad, Oscar felt a lot better to finally be able to tell someone how he felt about his mother's disappearance. He had thought he might carry that unsaid worry with him until he grew up. There was a palpable sense of relief in the air and he sighed.
"I-I guess maybe we should head back now," he determined, glancing around his home with a new lens, a mindset slightly less burdened now that he'd spoken his mind. The house was still so empty, and that was sad, but at least the feeling wasn't quite so oppressive. The big world got a little smaller again, easier to face, knowing he had someone to confide in. "Dean might wonder what's takin' so long."
Sam's smile turned genuine at that. "I wonder if he'd ever try to follow us if he decides I'm taking too long," he joked, remembering how overprotective Dean could get. If it ever got to be too much, he'd always have to tell his older brother off, especially since at this size, a hovering big brother could get to be a little much. "I'm sure he'd find a way to squish his shoulders enough to fit if he had to. He's pretty determined when he has to be."
The thought of Dean getting himself stuck in the vents suddenly seemed hilarious to Sam and he couldn't stop the laughter from coming, a slightly hysterical tinge to it after all of the emotions he'd bared wide open moments before.
Oscar's eyes widened and he tried to imagine Dean getting himself into the vents. To him, the idea was more nightmarish, considering a human breaking into his safe passages was very dangerous indeed. But, with Sam's laughter in the air, his mind couldn't help but catch up to how silly the human would look if he managed such a thing.
Fear dropped away, and Oscar's own laughter bubbled up to replace it. It was contagious, and just as the pair had cried together moments before, now they laughed together too. Oscar had to wipe one more tear from his eye, but this time it wasn't a sad one.
"O-oh, that'd be very silly," he said, once it died down enough for him to speak. "We'd have to use a different door to get into the room if he got stuck like that!"
"And then," Sam said, trying to stop laughing but only ending up snorting, "we'd have to find a way to get him un-stuck. He'd never stop moaning about how unfair we were being because we fit!"
More giggles filtered out of Oscar, but he kept himself in check the best he could. He hadn't known the brothers for very long, but hearing Sam talk he could envision the larger teen griping at them from his stuck position in the vent. How they'd get him out was far beyond the tiny kid's imagination, though. Hopefully Dean didn't get the idea to try it.
Sam's laughs started to die down and he managed to catch enough of a breath to down the rest of his cup of water. He shook his head. "At least we're around to keep an eye on him," Sam said. He tucked his new aluminum foil cup into his new bag, the first item he had to put away. "Otherwise I'm sure he'd get into even more trouble."
Sam stood and stretched out his arms. "I think I'm ready."
"Okay," Oscar replied with a nod. He padded over to the pantry, pulling the curtain more securely over the motherlode of food contained in it just in case, and then wandered back to the door. He was glad that Sam seemed to have liked his house, aside from the unexpected spill of emotions they'd experienced.
"It should be easier to get back now that your hands aren't full," he mused conversationally while he pushed his door aside to lead the way back into the dark. The light from the crack in the wall was waning, anyway, so getting back to the room would be a good idea before it got too dim for Sam to see even in the house.
Sam shifted his new bag as he made his way over to Oscar. His hand tightened instinctively on the strap, getting used to the feel of actually having a bag of his own again. Something made for his own size after a month without.
He peered into the darkness beyond the makeshift doorway. "I'm surprised you can see out there at all," he told the other kid. "I mean, it's pitch black! If you weren't around I'd probably run into every wall out there and I'd never find this place on my own."
Oscar perked up a little from the compliment in Sam's words, and he felt a little proud of himself for it. Even though it was a skill that he thought everyone their size had, he was proud all the same. Sam was brave and he knew a lot about human stuff, but he was still impressed by the things Oscar did in his far less interesting day to day life.
"I-I'm used to it," he explained, peering out into the dark. He couldn't see perfectly, by any means, but he could see well enough that he wouldn't have trouble navigating in the low lighting. He'd grown up with it, and it was most of what he knew. "I can't go very far by myself, but I can see to get to the places I know."
That included only a handful of rooms. Oscar knew that one day, he'd have to expand his escapades out a little further if he was to keep up with the demand for food and the guests in the motel. He would eventually have his end of the motel completely mapped out in his head.
"Maybe I'll be able to see like that when I'm older," Sam said, his voice hushed again as they started on their way back. His hand hesitantly found Oscar's arm again before the darkness overcame them, letting the younger boy be his anchor. If he got lost in here, he'd stay lost.
Out of Dean, or John's, reach.
He didn't let go as they went, trying to place his footing carefully so he didn't trip. He wondered if Oscar's nightvision came from living like this his entire life or if it was something more. Maybe an adaptation had evolved for the smaller people that lived in the walls that gave them the ability. If it was that, Sam might not have much of a chance of his sight improving. If it was the former, maybe he would get better at seeing in the dark and surprise everyone.
"I bet you will," Oscar muttered after some careful thought. After all, he had grown up in the dark. It only made sense that he'd gotten more used to it than Sam ever needed to. Sam had grown up where electric lights were available all around him, and he could safely venture outside without worrying about birds and cats and the other big animals Oscar's mother had warned him about.
He shifted his arm in Sam's grasp as they approached the loose metal panel in the air conditioning. He took the other kid's hand to make sure he could guide him true while he pushed the panel aside again with the other. "Back to the vent," he muttered for Sam's benefit, leading them through the opening. After he nudged it closed one more time, it was easier to see the way they needed to go.
Light was still spilling into the metal corridor from Sam and Dean's motel room, a short walk ahead of them.
Sam let go of Oscar's arm when he saw the light ahead and dashed away. It was fun exploring with Oscar, but he didn't like being far off from Dean anymore than his brother liked him going off. All it took was the sight of one normal sized object, like the spool Oscar had been sitting on in his home, to remind Sam of his vulnerable size.
Being with Dean felt safe.
Sam managed to squish himself through the vent again without a problem, though his new bag got caught on an edge briefly. He tugged it free with an annoyed grunt.
By the time he managed to get the bag free and drop out of the vent, he realized there was a shadow being cast over the vent itself.
Dean.
The teen was sitting there with the notebook he used for school and a pencil in hand. Actually doing homework, a complete shock for Sam considering he hadn't been around to prod Dean into it.
That was all the time he had to take things in. Without warning Dean dropped his pencil. "Sammy!" A hand reached for him, protectively curling around his small form to make sure he'd come back in one piece. He was swiftly lifted up in the air before he could see if Oscar had made it through. Green eyes bigger than his head squinted at him. "You alright?"
Sam scrubbed at his face, realizing his nose was still bright pink from the tears he'd shed at Oscar's place. While he was distracted, Dean got the other kid in hand after he made it through the vent.
"Man, I leave you guys alone for a minute and you fall apart," came a light tease as Dean held his hands close together. "C'mon, kid. What happened?"
Despite the teasing, Sam could tell his brother was really worried about them. Then it was all over. His eyes brimmed with tears as he remembered everything he'd just admitted to Oscar that very hour. His barriers were shattered after letting his emotions out so freely while they were away and he didn't have a chance of holding in the tears.
It was a good thing Dean was holding them close to his chest because Sam tossed himself against it in an attempt to hug his older brother. He let out a sob, his chest shuddering as he tried to stretch his arms out to hug his older brother. "D-don't ever change…" was all he managed to get out.
Oscar got over his disorientation from leaving the floor behind so quickly much faster than he'd done before. He was actually getting used to being picked up by a human. Or at least by Dean. The younger human was careful not to squeeze Oscar or lift him up too fast, he'd noticed. It made it easier to get used to the thought of soaring up into the air.
He fidgeted where he sat, watching Sam hug his extra big brother and absently wringing his hands. He had a strong temptation of his own to let more tears out, but they didn't come so quickly. He chewed his lip thoughtfully before tilting his head back to see Dean's surprised and concerned face looking down at them.
"W-we ended up talkin' about some sad stuff," Oscar explained, hoping to clear up some of the human's confusion. That was what did Oscar in. Admitting that he had indeed cried made him blink a little faster as his eyes, still stinging from the last session, summoned up more tears and tried to spill them over.
"S-sorry if we were gone too long," he added, looking back down in time for a couple silent tears to escape.
That was the last thing on Dean's mind. "Don't worry about it," he said, his voice hushed softer than ever with Sam almost right below his voicebox. He cupped the hand with Oscar in it next to Sam, giving them both a supportive hug to help ease their tears. Explanations could wait.
"It's okay, guys. I've gotcha." As carefully as he could, Dean moved a finger up and down their backs, trying to calm down the two small children sobbing into his shirt. The feeling of tiny ridges made it through his touch against Oscar's back; the small kid was so thin that his spine was more exposed than anyone else they'd known. Dean's lips turned down with worry. Such a small kid all on his own… more than anything he wanted to be able to make sure that Oscar was safe, just like Sam was.
Later that night, Sam would tell his big brother the truth. That no matter how 'adjusted,' or 'used' to his size he was, he still got afraid of things from time to time.
Even Dean.
Dean would give Sam the promise that no matter what happened, he'd always listen to Sam when he was afraid. He traded it for a promise from Sam; the promise to tell him if he was afraid, no matter how silly it seemed. No matter if it was John or Bobby or Dean himself that he was afraid of.
That night would also be the first time that Sam slept in Dean's chest pocket. The pocket of the jean jacket that Dean had stuffed in a corner of his duffel bag proved to be perfect for it. Sam snuggled down, relaxing in the comfortable spot right above Dean's heart. He was asleep in moments while Dean tried to stay up to watch over him and make sure he didn't roll over, only nodding off hours later when exhaustion caught up from all the emotions they'd gone through in such a short period.
For now, Dean settled back against the wall of the room to search for a comfortable position. The two children he held cupped right below his neck. Like that, he could offer them comfort and safety in his own way while they sobbed out the stress and fear that had built up over time.
Instead of expressing himself in words, Dean let himself start to hum. He didn't know any songs past the rock their dad put on the radio in the car, so the sound of Smoke on the Water echoed up out of his chest. Quiet enough to not hurt small eardrums but enough that the song was recognizable.
His own words echoed in his ears as Sam and Oscar continued to sob, letting out their fears. I've gotcha.
You're safe here.
A/N
So, have no fear! This isn't the end of the story for the kids! The conclusion will come after the prompts we have lined up for it! Remember if you have any ideas, drop it in the askbox on tumblr! The ideas that inspire us will be written out and included in the story!
( All prompts will be uploaded into the Salt Lines story so the conclusion isn't out of order when it is uploaded )
And, of course, when we run out of prompts, the conclusion to Hershey Kisses and Salt Lines will arrive!
For anyone that missed it, I am holding a contest for Brothers Apart and its subsequent AU's, like Brothers Together. All information can be found on the tumblr (link on my main page). Just search for brothers apart contest 2016!
Next: Measuring Up, coming February 15th
