It is now a compilation of one-shots since I'm now suddenly on a Gintoki x Sougo high. Note that there are going to be Gintoki x Sougo friendship shots as well as shounen-ai ones. I...suck at yaoi so don't expect that to show up. Maybe I'll dump in some Gintoki x Hijikata if I get hit with such inspiration. These one-shots are NOT connected in any way unless I say so.

Pairing(s): Gintoki x Sougo friendship. Squint and you might see more than that.
Summary: The Yorozuya and the Shinsengumi are spending the weekend relaxing at a beach resort. Why? Don't know. How? Don't know. Where'd the money come from? That's anyone's guess. What does matter is there's some Gintoki x Sougo interaction.
Warning(s): Hijikata torture (again)

'Why did life suck so much?' was a common thought in one Sakata Gintoki's daily life. That thought often crossed his mind when he visited the nearest convenience store only to find they were out of strawberry milk. Or when Otose chased him down for last month's rent. Or when Sadaharu peed all over his precious Shounen Jump. Those were daily sort of events in the life he led, and so he was pretty much used to it.

What am I trying to get at? I don't even know, because the above question was faaaar from Gintoki's mind at the moment. In fact, he was probably thinking, 'It's good to be alive.' For once, it wasn't like any other day--sort of.

"Gin-san, the weather's great isn't it?" Shinpachi asked from next to him.

"Ah, it really is," Gintoki replied in that never-changing tone of his. It really was, he noticed. The afternoon sun was shining, fluffy cottony clouds dotted the pale blue sky, and there was a gentle salty breeze blowing through the open area.

"Kagura-chan looks like she's having fun," Shinpachi observed from his position. He watched as the teenage alien girl chased after her giant otherwordly dog across the wet sand, small waves lapping at her feet.

He tilted his head at an odd angle to watch the orange-haired girl. "Ah, she really is." It was that same tone again.

Shinpachi sat up with a single eyebrow raised. "You're not having fun, Gin-san?"

The silver-haired man sighed, crossing his arms behind his head as he stared up at the underside of the open parasol above him. "Of course I am. But why are we here with them?"

"Gin-san, they invited you," the teenager reminded him before getting up to go join Kagura at the water's edge when the China girl called for him.

"Right, right." Gintoki turned on his side, propping his head up with one arm while he shoved his pinky in his ear most inappropriately.

"You bastard," a voice growled from above him. "You should be grateful you were invited at all!"

"Ah?" Gintoki peered up past the large umbrella at the dark-haired man standing over him.

"Why you--! You should die!" He reached for the sword at his waist only to realize it wasn't there. He wasn't in uniform. What he did have on was a simple pair of swimming trunks. "Damn it!" he cursed. "Why are we here with this ungrateful asshole, Kondo-san?!"

Gintoki grinned widely, entirely amused at the livid officer.

Kondo crossed his arms and huffed in exasperation. "Because--"

"--I invited danna," Sougo cut his commander off. "I didn't invite the other two though." Or was that three if you included the giant dog?

The gorilla cleared his throat. "That's right Toushi. I said you could invite anyone you wanted. You just chose not to invite anyone."

"But--"

"Chill out Toushiro-kun. You're too stressed. It's a vacation day right?" Gintoki said. He closed his eyes and completely relaxed.

It didn't seem like he cared one bit that there was a livid Shinsengumi Vice Commander standing over him ready to strangle him.

The soft shuffling of the sand had Gintoki popping open one eye. The young captain of the Shinsengumi had laid a towel out next to him and was holding out a glass of fruit punch to him. "Here danna. It's getting hot. Have a drink."

"Ah, thanks." He sat up and gratefully took the drink. For a split second, he wondered if the drink had been tampered with but then shoved the suspicion out of his mind. The young captain never did ever do any damage to him (intentionally) anyway, so his suspicions were baseless. He took a long sip and stared out at the horizon where the deep blue ocean met the light blue sky. "Heh, you invited me here to piss off that idiot?"

"Now why would I do that, danna?" Sougo asked innocently while nursing his own glass of lemonade.

Gintoki gave him a look.

"I thought it'd be fun."

"To piss off the idiot right? Gotta admit, that's plenty fun alright." He smiled at the thought.

Sougo chuckled. "Well, that's half of it" he admitted.

"Oh?" He downed the rest of the fruit punch before carelessly tossing the glass to the side.

The younger man said no more, instead joining the older man in staring out at the horizon.

When it became obvious to him the crimson-eyed kid wasn't going to elaborate, Gintoki shrugged one shoulder before reaching over and lightly smacking the back of the kid's head. Sougo merely threw a mildly annoyed glare at Gintoki before resuming his staring straight ahead.

Kondo Isao observed the odd pair's interaction from afar, befuddled. Honestly, he wondered why Sougo would invite the Yorozuya ginpatsu. He mentally heaved a sigh when he realized the teenager didn't have any (other) friends to invite. Even the officers in the Shinsengumi kept a respectful distance from their sometimes explosively violent Captain with sadistic tendencies. He supposed that Sakata would be considered someone closer than most (he didn't run away screaming for one) -- which was decidedly odd because he didn't remember seeing the two interact much outside of their two groups' occasional clashing on the job. Of course, he was rarely out on patrol with the rest of the officers so he could have missed something. Either way, it was a good thing Sougo was finally letting someone in, but it was not such a good thing it was the Yorozuya Jump-obsessed, silver-haired bum he happened to be letting in. He shook his head and this time, sighed out loud.

"I don't get it either, Kondo-san," Toushiro muttered from beside him. "I don't get it either," he repeated.

"I don't think we will any time soon, Toushi." A moment's pause as the pair watched their younger subordinate smile at something the silver-haired samurai said.

"I still don't get it," Toushiro muttered, a single eyebrow rising.

"Hahaha! He actually smiled." Isao smiled widely. "I guess I owe Sakata one."

"Owe him what? For making that sadistic bastard smile?" The dark-haired man scoffed.

"Don't play stupid, Toushi," Isao reprimanded.

"Hmph."

"Oi, Yorozuya!" Kondo called.

Gintoki lifted his head slowly, as if it took all his effort to perform that one small action. "Ah?"

"Time to smash watermelons!" The commander held in his arms several large watermelons.

"Oh?" He blinked in that lazy manner of his. "Oiiii, Kagura! It's your turn!"

"What Gin-chan?" The china girl skipped over dripping wet.

"Go smash watermelons."

"Smash watermelons?" She tilted her head to the side curiously. "What's that? Why smash them? We should eat them!"

"Don't ask so many questions. Just do it." A pause. "On second thought, come here Kagura." He tugged her by the arm to bring her head down. He whispered quickly into her ear the instructions.

"Ooooh... I see, Gin-chan! That sounds fun!" The excited girl hurried over to Shinpachi and dragged him over to where the watermelons were set up.

"Danna, what'd you say to that monster girl?"

"Oi, don't call our Kagura a monster girl."

"...Sorry, no can do even if it's a request from you danna."

"Why do you hate each other so much?" he wondered aloud before answering the question. "You'll see."

He quirked a brow. "Danna?"

A distant shout of, "What the fuck!" pierced through the air.

Sougo blinked and looked over the silver-haired man's shoulder only to witness a most laughably chaotic scene. A blindfolded Kagura was waving a stick around chasing after a swearing Hijikata. "Watermelon!" she would call between laughter every now and then. "Come back here watermelon! Gin-chan told me to smash you good!"

"Oi! Get her away from me!" Hijikata rolled out of the way just in time as the stick smashed into the ground where he had just been standing moments ago, spraying sand everywhere, and creating a mini crater.

"Holy shit!" Hijikata squawked as he came, yet again, close to having his head bashed into the sand.

Gintoki was soon hunched over laughing so hard, he was in tears.

"Good thinking, danna" Sougo said, not far behind.

"Right?" Gintoki gasped, tears streaming down his face.

By the end of the day, Hijikata Toushiro was wishing he had never come in the first place. First, he was black and blue thanks to that crazy China girl's version of watermelon smashing. Second, the Yorozuya asshole along with Sougo had gotten rid of all the mayonnaise in the hotel. Third, he was sharing a room with the sadist. He was in the middle of checking over his bed the third time for any traps the younger man might have set up when the said sadist stepped out of the bathroom dripping water all over the carpet floor.

Toushiro twitched. "You can't even dry off properly?"

Sougo shrugged. "It's just water."

"You looked like you had fun today," the dark-haired man commented lightly, sitting down on the sinfully fluffy mattress. He really should get himself a mattress like these.

Sougo paused in the middle of drying his hair, slightly surprised. "Did I?" he finally asked in reply after a long pause.

"What's so great about that good for nothing asshole anyway?"

Sougo blinked. That was an unexpected question, and one he didn't have an answer for. "Isn't that obvious? He's my only other accomplice in messing with Hijikata-san," he said instead.

END

AN: A simple, pointless one-shot! After the last one, I wanted something more normal I guess you could say. Wrote it and then posted it right after, so there are likely errors.