AN: Here are two scenes that I couldn't figure out how to place into Part II. But please enjoy this little omake anyway. =) I already have the next one-shot practically complete. I'm seriously on a Super Sadist Pair roll right now.

This could be counted as Part III if you want...but for me, it's more like an omake because I threw two scenes in there most randomly.

Nothing to do With Peanut Butter & Jelly *OMAKE*
Written by Clow Angel

Extras I:

"We didn't really have sex the other day, did we?" Gintoki asked as they laid entwined together in his futon.

Sougo turned his head lazily, looking up at the samurai with half-lidded eyes. "Ah, you caught me danna. How'd you figure it out?"

"You weren't limping."

"Ah." A pause. "I completely forgot to act that out. Oops."

Gintoki snorted in disbelief. "Figures."

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Extras II:

"Sougo!" It was a battle cry.

The crimson-eyed teen jumped back just in time to avoid having his head skewered by a very sharp katana. "Good morning, Hijikata-san. Bad mood today?"

"You!" The dark-haired officer brandished his katana. "How dare you sleep with that asshole!"

Several curious heads poked out from random entryways. Rarely anything interesting happened, so a juicy piece of gossip was always welcomed -- especially if it concerned their commanding officers. And how lucky, it seemed like it was one of those rare chances to get some juicy ones of their very own Shinsengumi sadist captain! But dare they believe their own captain had slept with someone? He was their youngest member! It was unfair! Many of them didn't get laid in weeks, or worse, months! How is it possible that their younger captain got laid? They found it extremely hard to believe. So, they waited for the response.

Sougo blinked once, twice, then thrice. "Ara, you found out."

...He didn't deny it. So it's true their youngest member got laid...? What was the world coming to?

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

Many of the relatively obvious eavesdroppers couldn't help but wonder the same thing.

Sougo crossed his arms, brows drawn together, and head bowed, seemingly in thought. Moments later, he looked up. "That it would be some totally mind-blowing sex?"

"..." Hijikata gaped. He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of this kid's mouth! "You're too young to be having sex!"

The other officers who were listening in on this conversation nodded to themselves in complete agreement.

"You're just jealous I got some and you didn't."

"Who would want to get some from that lazy Yorozuya bastard?!" A sudden flush had spread over the vice commander's features. Whether it was out of embarrassment, anger, or something else entirely was anyone's guess.

Their captain was fucking with the Yorozuya no Danna?! Many keeled over in a dead faint.

"Hey, Danna may look like a complete lazy good for nothing bum, but he has some amazing talent in bed. I'm still sore."

Hijikata immediately dropped his sword and dropped to his knees with his index fingers shoved in his ears. "I don't want to hear this!"

Out of nowhere, Kondo Isao rushed onto the scene, seizing the young captain's shoulders with tears running down his face most pathetically. "Sougo, tell me it isn't true. Tell me that you're not seeing the Yorozuya."

"Uh, I'm not seeing Danna?"

"You're lying!" the middle-aged man wailed. "How dare he deflower my Sougo!"

"...Kondo-san, you're overreacting." Sougo looked to the side, his eyes gleaming with something dark. After all, it was he who pretty much took advantage of a very drunken and horny Sakata Gintoki.

"I'm not overreacting! I'm going to kill that bastard! You're still only a child!"

Really, it was probably useless no matter what he said. He mentally shrugged. Did it really matter though? Probably not, if he was completely honest with himself. It wasn't as if these two were any match for Danna to begin with.