Chapter Fourteen
Three hours later, Willow followed Miss Calendar through the familiar library doors with an unconscious spring in her step, in spite of the bleak circumstances. Freshly washed hair fell around her eager face; the long soak and scrub she had indulged in was working wonders in making her feel normal again. She'd wasted no time in trying out her new outfits either, and her soft green top floated down over a knee-length black skirt and grey tights.
The old excitement that usually accompanied patrol was buzzing through her once more, and she resisted the urge to skip up to the table, feeling it might be somewhat inappropriate. Giles emerged from the office just then and spotted them.
"Hello you two. Oh, glad to see you looking better Willow."
The shining redhead grinned cheerily at him before moving over to the book cage to rifle through the armoury cupboard with the restless anticipation of a child picking out sweets. The librarian watched her with a slightly bemused expression before turning to Jenny.
"Good day I take it?"
The teacher only smiled mysteriously, brushing his arm lightly as she went to tidy his books that were cluttering the long table as usual.
Willow was cleaning crossbow bolts, really for something to do rather than for any particularly useful purpose, when she heard him enter the library. He met her gaze and nodded in silent greeting before quietly joining her at the table, where he picked up a crossbow from the disorderly heap of weapons beside her. Willow watched him out the corner of her eye as he tested the weapon before heading into the book cage. She focused on cleaning the long vicious bolt between her fingers and tried to calm her jumping heartbeat.
Oz emerged twirling a screwdriver in his hand. He leant against the open doorway to the cage and concentrated on tightening the trigger mechanism, eyes determindly locked down. He still felt slightly uneasy around the strange girl, and he still couldn't pinpoint why. It wasn't a bad feeling, it was just…something.
Willow shot a surreptitious glance over. His stance was outwardly relaxed, but she recognised the thoughtful slant of his head. The blond messy spikes of his hair stood out against his pale skin and the dark grey and black of his top and over shirt, that hung stylishly loose over his lean chest and frame. Willow looked away when she realised she was staring, but she couldn't not notice how good he looked. She sighed mentally; this was all so silly. Since when was she such a moony crusher over her own boyfriend?! 'I think I'm a groupie!' A sad touch of amusement passed over her face at the long-ago uttered words. She had been rather awe-stuck at the beginning of their relationship. Though whether that was more to do with the fact that he was in an actual band or that she had a boyfriend in the first place, Willow wasn't too sure. Yet he wasn't her boyfriend. Now. Or ever, in this universe. So what did that make her? Oh man, another headache was trying to sneak up, she could feel it.
"Are you feeling better?"
She jumped at his quiet voice and looked up surprised. She smiled a little too enthusiastically, trying to cover her awkwardness around him. "Oh, yes thanks. I guess the excitement just got to me a bit the other night."
He nodded and lowered his eyes back to his adjustments as he spoke again. "You're a good fighter."
"Thanks."
Willow's gaze followed his and lingered on his steady hands as they firmly handled the weapon with the ease of much practice. His slender fingers flexed and worked with a deft agility that reminded her of watching him play. Of all those lazy afternoons that had passed with her studying as Oz sat on the floor by her bed, softly strumming in quiet concentration.
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The melodic acoustic notes filled the space of conversation, just as beautiful to her ears as his voice. Willow tried once more to drag her attention back to the algebra books spread out before her on the thick covers. Her feet paddled restlessly in the air, legs stretched out on the bed behind her. Funnily enough, maths was kinda the last thing on her mind whenever he was close. She was going to have to lock herself away Monday night if she was going to have any hope of passing this test.
Slowly the music stopped, soon followed by a barely audible sigh that drifted up from the bent head of brown hair at the foot of her bed. Willow shuffled forward on her stomach until she could peek over the edge. "What's wrong?"
Oz turned his head to face her as he leant back against the patchwork quilt. "Hmm, fingers and strings are having a disagreement and the chord is on strike in protest."
Willow giggled and rested her chin on her hands. "Do you want me to report them to the drum kit? Can't have arguments breaking up the instruments."
"Oh I agree, but the drums and cymbals are having their own issues. Best not to get involved, trust me."
She laughed, her eyes bright as they danced over his face. She leaned further over the bed, a playful smile forming on her lips. "Maybe you need to relax. I've heard chords don't react well to tense musicians."
Oz's eyebrow quirked teasingly, even as her breath on his cheek sent his heart racing. "Really?"
Willow grinned and nodded before finally pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. Oz's hand abandoned the guitar to slide through ruby locks, holding her close. When they drew apart, Willow opened her eyes and announced, "Yep, I think we definitely need to relax you."
Oz smirked. "I think you need to stop avoiding your homework."
Before she could respond, he pulled her warm mouth to his again, swallowing her objections. Willow's hand gripped at his shoulder as she shifted on the bed, trying to get even closer to him.
"I'm not avoiding," she retorted slightly breathlessly when he eventually released her. "I'm actually acting with very honourable intentions. I study best with music. I'm just trying to inspire your playing."
Oz stroked her cheek tenderly, resting their foreheads together.
"Mission very accomplished."
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Willow quickly looked away to hide the flash of pain that crossed her face at the memory. She replaced the bolt with a new one and began to scrub at it with the cloth in her lap. The question slipped out before she realised it.
"Do you still play?"
The boy's movements abruptly halted, his eyes skipping to her averted face and back in a split second. For a moment, he merely stared at the brutal instrument of battle in his grip. His rough hands still remembered the feel of the sleek neck and curved wood under his palms. His calloused fingers still recalled the biting cut of string and fret; the physical memory of chord positions still caused them to twitch in the empty air at times. Remembering the instrument of music that once felt as natural in his hold as did weapons now. The old guitar that still lay where it was cast aside in a corner of his room, what felt like so long ago. About a hundred vampires ago.
And she knew.
He raised his head and studied the slight girl at the table who was rubbing at the black bolts with a renewed vigour. He knew he shouldn't be surprised really. She had said she had been friends with him -- the other him that is. Still, it had caught him off guard, though he didn't allow it to show on his face.
"No."
Willow bit her lip at the flatness of his voice. Obviously a painful subject. Still, she wanted to get past the awkward stage with him. They had to become friends if she had any hope of ever telling him what her heart burned to say. So she took a steadying breath and plunged ahead. She looked up gingerly.
"Why?"
Oz stared at her for a long beat. She was watching him nervously and he didn't want to be cold. He wasn't like that; but he also wasn't big on the sharing. Oz fought his natural impulse to resist opening up and made the effort. He shrugged and went back to fixing the crossbow, that was already pretty much fixed, but just for the sake of occupying his hands.
"Don't exactly have the time anymore. The band I was with is...gone. Besides, it's hardly important compared to what else is going on."
"I don't know."
He glanced up at her voice. She looked like she was struggling to find the right words to express herself, her brow crumpled in cute thoughtful creases. Oz mentally shook his head, slightly surprised. It had been a long while since he'd noticed something like that in someone.
"It's just...I don't want to presume, but the you I knew before, his music was such a big part of him. I guess I, I just don't see how something that you love and believe in, could ever -- not be important."
Her voice was quiet but sure as she held his gaze. Oz digested her words. She was certainly good at disarming his usually calm and collected persona. It took him a good minute to get to grips with his thoughts again. It had been an age since he had last allowed himself to think seriously about his music. When the Master rose; when the Bronze became strictly for the non-pulse clientele; when his friends started disappearing… It had been too painful to play and he had given it up; turned away from it as a last reminder of the way things used to be. There was no point.
He shrugged. "This town doesn't exactly inspire creativity."
"Well, morbid depressing songs are always a hit in the charts too. Just look at Morrissey."
He offered her a wry smile and observed her face brighten as she smiled back at him. Girl had a point. Little did the boy know, once upon an alternative universe, it had been he himself who had introduced the redhead to the British music legend.
"I-I know things are...well, bad doesn't really cover it here. But you, you shouldn't let go of the things -- that make you who you are."
Willow was abruptly diverted from their conversation as Jenny and Giles emerged out the office, clearly in the middle of an animated debate. Oz studied the distracted girl for a moment longer, before also turning his attention to the arguing adults.
"Rupert, you should really double check that. One reference in one book is no need for a panic attack!"
"It's not just any book!" Giles was blustering in a way that usually signalled doom, but then he seemed to deflate and removed his glasses in a weary action. "But, yes, you're right. I'll – I'll look into it further."
"What's the deal guys?"
The two staff members looked over as if surprised they weren't alone. Oz walked over from the book cage and laid down the bow, not taking his eyes off the Watcher and teacher.
"Oh, well – it's quite possibly nothing." Giles exchanged a look with Jenny, who immediately took charge of the situation.
"It's nothing for any of you to worry about just now. We will let you know when and if anything comes up."
The two teenagers eyed the grown-ups sceptically, but Jenny's tone brooked no room for objections and before they could even try, the banging of the library doors heralded the arrival of Mike and Annie and the start of patrol.
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AN Ask and ye shall receive. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks a million to everyone and all who review - I can't tell you how much I love hearing from you guys! It really gives me the energy to keep writing through the bad days. Oh, and if people want to keep up to date, I usually post all story news updates on my profile. So if something is going on (or not if the block troll is back!) - it'll be there!
Thanks again!