Fitz and Simmons were in the midst of a much unarticulated plan when the familiar sound of the sliding door opened and Coulson entered the room. He did a very good job of keeping the grin off his face. Then again, the sunglasses he wore covered half of it.
"Fitzsimmons! What have you got?" For about five seconds, they seemed in the midst of frantic whispering; Simmons made sure she had a last word, then turned around with a file in hand.
"Well, sir, with the short amount of time you gave us, we did what we could." She smiled graciously. Fitz carried on for her.
"We found that the western and southern points are warring over central Slozcheckistan. We also have a map!" Simmons brought up the projector, revealing a very poorly drawn peanut shaped lump. At least, that's what it looked like.
"What are they fighting over? Territory? Data?" Skye was writing all of the information down on her hand-holdable laptop. Simmons and Fitz gave each other a look.
"Err…" They both answered at the same time.
"Powder."
"Puppies."
Skye raised an eyebrow. Fitz started rambling.
"You see, there's these powder puppy keychain collectibles, these chubby little dogs about this big" He demonstrated with his hands.
"They're made to look like donuts. With different colored scented powder on it. But-"
"But it's unclear who the powder puppy corporation belongs to. Both sides want the money. And guess where the main factory is…" Fitz waited for a few seconds, and then answered his own question. "In central Slozcheckistan. I..I didn't mean for it to be rhetorical-"
"And now," interrupted Simmons, "The western side is deciding they've had enough and are putting flavor-scented explosives inside each powder puppy that activate when you squeeze them."
"They want to put an inflatable in the Macy's parade." Fitz blurted out. Everyone stared at him.
"But-but that's not the point," he hastily continued. "Just so we're clear. Don't write that down." Skye erased whatever she had just put on her laptop.
There was silence for a few moments.
"Is there anything else?" Coulson stood there, rising up and down on the head and toe of his shoes.
"That's it, sir." Simmons said. "As I said, there was a shortened time limit, if I knew it sooner, I would have-"
"It's fine." Jemma looked up." I just have to ask you though…" Coulson took off his sunglasses. "How much of this did you make up in the last fifty seconds that we were standing here?"
Both of the scientists' eyes went wide. "Um…all of it?" Fitz tried.
Coulson nodded. "I thought so. There was a reason why you couldn't find information on it. Slozcheckistan doesn't exist." He started to leave, but Simmons had to know…
"Were we convincing?" Coulson grinned.
"You were terrible." He left through the sliding door, Skye following.
Fitz and Simmons stood there silently. Both of them would have probably stayed there forever, if a giant tremor hadn't shaken them both to the ground. They got up quickly. Then they ran to stop the equipment from crashing.
"What is going on?!" shouted Fitz.
"Fitz, they can't hear you. The door is closed." One last jolt sent everything to the floor, scientists included. Fitz watched a fire extinguisher roll by. It was round. And red. And exactly what he didn't want to see in that moment. Still, he grabbed it and joined Simmons. Some hushed debate went by. Simmons and Fitz switched weapons. Some more hushed debate went by before the door finally opened. Together, they nodded, and crept silently down the hall.
Judging by the first season, I think that Simmons is waaaay too attached to the fire extinguisher. I wonder how many of them she has.