Hey everyone! I hope you've enjoyed it so far, I'd love to hear your reviews! I'm really excited because its finally getting to the interesting parts! I'm also getting closer to finishing writing the story (there's about 35 chapters total..give or take..) so soon I'll probably start updating more frequently. So, that being said, when the time comes, would you rather I post chapters two at a time and still once a week, or just do two or three spread throughout the week?
Jane glanced at her watch, reading 7:53 A.M. A light fog rested in the air and already the park was beginning to buzz with activity for the day. Leaning against the building across the street from the large stone fountain, she debated in her head whether or not she wanted to commit to this. On one hand it would definitely be a step up from the day to day life she was currently enduring, but on the other hand she was not entirely sure she wanted to get tangled up with S.H.I.E.L.D. again. Though despite the continuous back and forth of argument in her mind, one fact remained that she could not ignore, and that was the fact that there was someone struggling, and in pain, and she was quite possibly the only one who had a chance at helping him.
Knowing she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't go, she finally pushed the debate from her mind and committed herself. Just as she was preparing to cross the street, a man in a baseball cap, jeans, and dark jacket grabbed Jane's arm and pulled her in the direction he was going. "This way." He said simply.
Jane was taken by surprise and stumbled along with the man's quick gait. She couldn't quite make out his face, but his grip was secure and she knew she couldn't simply get away. Knowing she couldn't fight him off she did her best to resist being dragged away. She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak she was being ushered into the back of a black SUV. Clumsily she climbed into the vehicle, where upon seeing Coulson sitting calmly in the front passenger seat, she let out an exasperated sigh.
"You know it's usually common courtesy to warn a person of your arrival rather than always trying to scare the ever-loving daylights out of them." She said disgruntled, and she smoothed her hair that had become disheveled in the ordeal.
The man who had led her to the car was now climbing into the other side, and pulled the door shut behind him. When he pulled off his baseball cap she could see that it was none other than Steve Rogers.
"And you," She continued, directing her words to her seat mate, "Contrary to public opinion you're actually quite intimidating and frankly a bit terrifying in person." Steve just laughed and clicked his seatbelt on.
"I can see you're already making quick friends with Rogers." Coulson said. "Jane, Agent Melinda May. May, Jane." He continued, motioning to the woman behind the wheel who simply nodded in silent acknowledgement.
"When Coulson said you might take some convincing, I wondered if you would actually show up. I guess he was right to be so confident." Steve said a few minutes after the vehicle rolled into motion.
Knowing that Coulson had talked to Steve about her, made Jane feel slightly ill at ease, and she wondered what all he had said, and how many other people knew she was coming. "Well considering how utterly thrilling it was to meet Iron Man, when Coulson offered me an opportunity to meet Captain America, well, how could I resist!" Jane replied sardonically with a grin.
"Oh, so you've met Stark, have you?" Steve said, intrigued.
Jane let out a sigh, "And would you believe it, he didn't even try to kidnap me off the street."
"Man, you really aren't going to let that one go, are you?" Steve replied, shaking his head.
"Oh come on, I can't be the only one who thought it was a bit absurd." She answered back. In the front seat, May and Coulson looked at each other and pursed their lips, trying to hold back smiles. Next to her, Steve couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"What!" Jane exclaimed. "Don't laugh at me, it wasn't funny! You're like 200 pounds of pure muscle; that would be intimidating to anyone!"
"Ah! A stranger! What do I do!?" Steve said in a high pitched voice, pretending to look terrified; his eyes wide. "I guess I better just freeze and hope for the best!" He added, and then dramatically froze in a ridiculous looking silent scream.
"Shut up, I didn't look like that!" Jane said, trying to remain serious, but failing. "Coulson, you saw it. Tell him I wasn't that bad!" Jane expected some support from her fellow passengers, but Steve's performance had gotten a chuckle out of Coulson, and even May couldn't help but grin. Jane just rolled her eyes in denial, making a face at Steve.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't make fun of you." Steve said, more serious but still smiling. "I promise, next time I won't be so 'breathtakingly horrifying'. Though I may have to settle for mildly shocking."
The group conversed for a while as May skillfully navigated out of Manhattan quicker than Jane had ever thought was possible, until eventually the topic of Bucky came up. "He's gone through a lot." Steve said, his face somber. "He's had to deal with a lot more than anyone should ever have to." Jane nodded and looked at her lap. She knew seeing his friend suffer constantly had to have been extraordinarily difficult for Steve.
"The last thing he needs is someone making it worse." Steve said, seriously.
"Of course not, I don't think anyone wants that." Jane replied.
"I want you to understand what I'm saying." He said insistently. Jane looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. "I don't want you pushing him, forcing him to remember things before he is ready."
Jane could see where Steve was coming from, as Bucky's friend, but she wasn't sure that she completely agreed with his methods. Still, there was Coulson's voice in her head from the night before, reminding her that Steve had to give the stamp of approval or the job was no longer hers. Carefully she restrained herself, letting him explain further.
"The entire time he was in HYDRA he was being pushed and pulled in different directions, being forced to do what they wanted. I won't allow that to continue to happen to him." Jane wondered if he was somehow kidding, or if he really was being this dogmatic about it. Still, when she looked carefully at his face she could only see that he was being serious. "I know you're here to get the information Bucky knows, but you're also here to help Bucky and that includes keeping his mental state stress free. I can't have you pressuring him or putting extra strain on him. I can't have you endlessly digging for information at the expense of his mental health."
Jane was becoming more uneasy with Steve's extreme stance, but she continued to force herself to keep her mouth shut. She wondered why he seemed to think she knew nothing about what she was doing, or that she cared only about the S.H.I.E.L.D. directives and not about the human being. She also didn't understand why he thought his method of everything being 'zen' and stress free was the only way to success. If that was how he had handled Bucky up until now, she didn't have any difficulty figuring out why they hadn't made any progress.
"I need to know that you aren't going to push him; that you're going to let him work through things at his own pace. Can you promise me that? Because if not, I don't know if this is going to work out." Steve asked.
Jane was shocked by Steve's cut-and-dry ultimatum and looked to Coulson, expecting him to say something about the ridiculous expectations he had set. When she saw that Coulson had no intentions of joining in the conversation, she quickly weighed her options. On one hand, if she told Steve she couldn't accept on those terms, then he had basically guaranteed she would be denied the job. Even though she had been undecided on the whole thing that morning, now that she had committed herself to it, the thought of giving up and going back to her old life seemed painfully unpleasant. Still, on the other hand, could she really agree to this knowing that she had treat Bucky like she was his servant, just letting him figure things out for himself? No, she knew she couldn't do that. That would mean giving up everything she knew about helping people, counseling, and psychology. She wouldn't even be doing anything, she'd just be observing and she knew she would never be able to do that.
"Look, I get that you want what's best for your friend and you don't want to see him put under stress." Jane spoke up, her mouth acting almost of its own accord. "But if I'm going to help Bucky, I have to have the freedom to do it my own way." She watched Steve's face anxiously, anticipating his inevitable reaction. "If you want me to help him you have to let me determine what the best course of action for him is, and then let me act on it. If I think taking it slow is what's best for Bucky, then yeah, I will do it. But I'm not going to baby him just for the sake of doing so."
"Human beings are capable of a lot more than we often times think, and honestly, I think you should trust your friend a bit more. Simply based on what I've read and heard about him, he's got an incredibly strong will and is worthy of more credit than you've given him." Jane finished, every word heartfelt. She had probably thoroughly pissed Steve off, but in that moment she didn't care; it just felt good to speak her mind regardless of how someone else was going to take it.
For several moments the silence was deafening, and Jane wondered what was going on in Coulson and May's heads. The first to break the silence was Steve. "Good." He said simply. Jane looked up expecting to see furrowed eyebrows and disdain, but instead she was met with a smile stretching across his face.
Confused, she asked, "I'm sorry, what?"
"I was hoping you would say that." He replied. "Now I can have peace of mind leaving Bucky with you. I you had reacted any other way I would have been worried."
Taken aback by his response she replied, puzzled. "Wait, so you're saying that was all just a…test?"
Steve chuckled at her disbelief and confusion. "Relax, you passed. I just needed to know that you were the kind of person who would stick by her convictions rather than being swayed by the demands of other people. Which, you've clearly shown, since you were more willing to give up the chance at a job than to compromise on your convictions. You know where you stand, and I like that." With a smirk he added, "Something you'll probably find helpful, as Bucky has a knack for being a bit overly persuasive if you're not careful."
Once she processed what had happened and the realization hit that she was still getting the job, a flood of relief washed over her. She was a bit indignant that Steve had played her in such a way, but ultimately she knew that if she had been in his place she would have done the exact same thing.
They were now driving on a narrow road lined with trees, in a place Jane had never been. When May turned the car onto a dirt road, she began to wonder where in the world they were going. It wasn't long before they approached a large clearing, and May continued to drive directly towards the middle of it.
"Question," Jane finally piped up from the back seat. "Where exactly are we headed?"
May calmly pressed a series of buttons on the car stereo, and in an instant an airplane was revealed in front of them. "That would be where we are headed." Coulson answered nonchalantly. Meanwhile Jane craned her neck to see out the front window in disbelief. Once they were within a few hundred feet of the aircraft May pressed another series of buttons and the large cargo bay door lowered, allowing them to easily drive on board, parking next to the red '62 Corvette that caught Jane's eye.
May clicked off the ignition, and the four exited the vehicle. "You didn't touch Lola while I was out, did you Mack?" Coulson said to the man working on a piece of machinery at the back of the garage. Looking up to see Coulson, Mack cleaned his hands on a towel and set the piece of machine aside. "Of course not sir, I wouldn't dream of touching your girl."
Jane and Steve shot each other questioning glances. Jane shook her head and Steve shrugged, neither knowing to whom the two men were referring. "Lola's the car." May said to the two of them, upon seeing their confusion. Jane and Steve's expressions simultaneously changed upon hearing May's explanation. Both looked at each other again, trying not to smile as they both knew they had been thinking something completely different. In his head, Steve decidedly resolved he had spent far too much time hanging around Stark.
"Jane," Coulson said, ushering her to his side, "This is Mack, he keeps us up and running."
"Like a well-oiled machine." Mack added, with a smile. He finished wiping the grease off his hands with the towel and extended his arm for a handshake; which Jane accepted, smiling politely.
"It's nice to meet you." Jane said, not really sure what else to say. She had never been the greatest at first impressions and meeting new people so she aimed to keep things as simple as possible.
"The pleasure is mine." Mack replied. "If you ever find yourself needing a mechanic's helping hand, I'm your guy."
Jane nodding in agreement, and was encouraged by his kind and welcoming demeanor. She wasn't sure exactly how many people she was about to be introduced to or how they would react to having another member joining the team, but Mack's friendliness seemed like a promising beginning.
"Has Fitz made any progress on the neogenic resistor yet? I'd like to have Steve take a look at it." Coulson asked Mack, diverting his attention back away from Jane who promptly placed her hands in her pockets.
"I'm not sure about that." Mack replied after thinking a moment. "I'm fairly sure I saw him working on it earlier though." Tossing the towel onto his workbench he added, "I can take you to see him now if you want."
"Good. We'll go see what Fitz is up to; May, take Jane up and introduce her to the rest of the team. The sooner she can get settled in the better." Coulson said.
May nodded and directed Jane through a set of doors and up a flight of stairs. May led the way through the many corridors, informing Jane of the various rooms along the way. Jane tried to focus on what May was saying, but she couldn't help but get distracted by the immenseness of the plane.
"So you fly this thing?" Jane asked, trying to make small talk.
"Yep." May replied simply. Jane waited for her to expound, but soon realized that was in fact going to be her entire response. "These will be your personal living quarters while we're in the air." She said, approaching a room and opening the door to let Jane see inside. Jane peered through the doorway to see that, while not a large room, it seemed cozy and decent. It wasn't anything compared to what she'd had at L7, but it was still a step up from her current apartment.
May closed the door and they continued down the hallway lined with similar doors that Jane assumed were the other team members' rooms. Eventually they entered a room that Jane ascertained to be a lounge of sorts.
"Ah, Hunter, there you are." May said to the young man reclining on the sofa, his head flopped back and eyes closed. In his hands a partially empty beer bottle rested. "I see you're working hard as ever."
Upon hearing May enter, Hunter slowly blinked open his eyes, lifting his head a few inches. "Hello May, a pleasure as always." After taking a drink he let his head fall back onto the couch again.
May disregarded Hunter's comment, thoroughly used to his 'special charm' by now. "I have someone for you to meet." She continued. "If you could be bothered to sacrifice a few moments of your precious time, that is." Hunter's eyes flicked open again, his head turning to the door with intrigue as Jane stepped through the threshold after May. "This is Jane, Coulson's bringing her on board with the team."
"Right, right," Hunter said, sitting up and pulling his feet off the coffee table. "You're the shrink or whatever, yeah?" May moved to the computer on the other side of the room, leaving Jane and Hunter to talk.
"Well I don't know that I really have an official title, but sure." Jane said, taking a seat on the arm of one of the other sofas.
"Figured you be showing up soon." He replied. "Just a word of advice though, don't even bother trying to crack this coconut." He continued, pointing to his head. "You don't even want to know what's locked away in there. Someone tried it once, it didn't end too well."
Jane just smiled. "Deal." Hunter seemed like the type of guy who liked getting into trouble, but he also seemed to have a good sense of humor, and Jane liked that. Lowering her voice she continued. "So, is May always like this, or is it something about me?"
"Like what?" Hunter asked, taking a drink.
"You know," Jane said, trying to make sure May couldn't hear her across the room. "All serious and down to business. I've only heard her say even a handful of words, and when I try to make small-talk all I get are a few words in response."
"Oh, that's what you mean." Hunter said with a chuckle. "Yeah, May isn't real big on the whole talking thing—or smiling." Then, raising his voice to deliberately make sure May could hear him he added, "But deep down we all know May is a cuddly teddy bear who wants to make everybody fell warm and fuzzy inside. The tough exterior of vague disinterest and hardened determination fool nobody." The only response he received from May was an annoyed glare.
Lowering his voice back to normal, he turned to face Jane again. "In all seriousness though, don't worry about it. It's nothing personal, it's just how she is."
Jane nodded, feeling relieved. She watched as Hunter lifted the bottle to his lips once again and took a drink. "You do realize it's like, not even nine in the morning right?" She said, her eyebrow arched.
Hunter let out a satisfied sigh and looked at the bottle in his hand. "Meh, still good to me. Besides, when your sleep schedule is as utterly screwed up as mine, it doesn't really make much of a difference either way."
Jane just shook her head, smiling. She could tell he was going to be quite the interesting character. "You guys are pretty busy then?
"You must not have ever been a field agent working for S.H.I.E.L.D." He said. "I've been in this game a while, but none of my jobs were ever as exhausting as this one. Other places, you're on assignment maybe a few days a week. But S.H.I.E.L.D? No, when Coulson's in charge you're lucky to get a full night's sleep. That's why when I see an opportunity I take it." He finished, holding up his beer to make his point.
"Do you feel like working here is making a difference in the world?" Jane asked after he had finished.
"Huh uh. We had an agreement. No psychiatric bamboozlery on this brain, remember?" Hunter quickly quipped back.
Jane shrugged and replied with a smile, "Sorry, I guess I can't help it."
"Yeah, yeah, excuses…"He mumbled, trailing off.
"May, I need you to take a look at these." A woman's voice said from the doorway, where a brunette entered, looking at the screen in her hand. "I took the images Coulson gave me and ran them through a code breaking database I found in—" The woman paused mid-sentence when she looked up to see an unfamiliar figure in the room. "Oh—um, hi." She stammered.
"Hi, I'm Jane." Jane piped up, waving from her spot on the sofa.
The girl opened her mouth to reply back, but May spoke up first as she made her way back across the length of the room. "What did you want to show me Skye?" She asked.
"Oh, I was just going to show you what I found when I put these through the pattern verification." Skye said, snapping her attention back to what she had come into the room for. "It's still preliminary and it's too soon to know for sure, but I think we're on to something." She showed the screen to May and they discussed the results.
"That's Skye by the way." Hunter said. "She's usually pretty friendly, unless she's in her super-computer-hacking-and-code-breaking zone. In that case good luck getting her attention."
"I noticed." Jane said. "So how many people are there on the team?" She asked curiously.
Hunter thought a moment then answered, "Well, there's us three of course, and other than Coulson there's Mack, he's the mechanic."
"Oh, I met him earlier!" Jane said, happy to know to whom he was referring. "He seemed nice."
He took another sip and continued, "Trip's not here right now I don't think, but I'm sure you'll meet him soon. And I suppose other than that it's just Fitz, but he's all...well..." Jane wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she didn't say anything; she figured she would find out soon enough.
"Sounds like you're all one big happy family." She said in response.
Hunter sighed, "I suppose we are." He lifted his beer to take a drink, but paused halfway, and tilted his head to the side, thoughtful. "Hey Skye." He said after a moment.
Sky and May halted their conversation to look over at him. "Uh, yes?" Skye replied.
"Weren't you the one keeping an eye on that Barnes guy?" Hunter asked, his forehead creased.
Jane was suddenly alert at the mention of the name. She hadn't realized he was on the plane already, but when she thought about it, it seemed only logical.
"Well I was." Skye replied, a mild tone of annoyance seeping into her voice due to Hunter interrupting her discussion with May over what she deemed a less important matter. "But he got bored watching me so he left."
"And you just let him?" Hunter asked in disbelief.
"He said he was going to find you!" Skye retorted defensively.
Hunter looked around the room and then back to Skye, his brows raised. "Do you see him here?"
Skye understood what he was getting at, but simply replied, "So he got a bit lost, so what? Why do you care?"
Hunter scoffed and set down his beer on the coffee table. "Oh I don't care." He answered sarcastically. "Except for the fact that you let a mentally unstable ex-HYDRA operative roaming around!"
"What was I supposed to do, lock him in there?" Skye asked, beginning to get angry. She didn't appreciate Hunter's accusatory tone.
"I don't know, maybe! If that's what it takes!" He said, leaving his seat to step closer to Skye.
Skye crossed her arms, "He's not a two year old, and I'm not his mother. I wasn't aware I needed to chaperone him absolutely everywhere."
"Well maybe you should've." Hunter griped back. "Because now there's a psycho killer out there with a metal arm that could kill any one of us."
"Watch it, Hunter." May interjected sternly. Jane watched as the argument grew in intensity, wishing she could slip away without them noticing.
"He's not like that." Skye said, in regards to his comment about Barnes.
This time Hunter was the one to cross his arms. "And you know this why, because you spent a whole 45 minutes with him?"
Skye simply clenched her jaw, squinting at Hunter. "Fine. You're so upset about it, you go find him!"
"Fine, I will then." Hunter replied mockingly.
"I don't think that's such a good idea." May said quickly.
Hunter looked to May, "Do you really want Skye doing it? She couldn't handle keeping track of him the first time—"
"I'll do it myself." May answered interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth trying to hold onto the last bit of patience she had left with him. Grabbing the tablet from Skye she started pulling up the security feeds from the plane.
"You know what." Jane gingerly spoke up. "Why don't I just find him, it's what I'm here for anyway right?" The three looked at Jane, all realizing they had forgotten she was there.
No one said anything for a moment until May finally nodded and handed the tablet back to Skye. As she slipped out of the room, Jane heard disgruntled sighs from Hunter and Skye, and then the sound of Hunter falling back into his spot on the couch.
Once out of the room, Jane began backtracking the path she had taken with May earlier. She had a fairly good idea where Bucky would be, figuring that if he had experienced anything similar to what she had just encountered, he would have gone to the same place where she had wanted to escape to amidst the chaos.
Jane walked through a set of doors and stepped onto the grated metal balcony overlooking the garage. She started down the spiral steps, and as she had expected, there was Barnes, standing at the last foot of the loading ramp that was still down. He hand his hands in his pockets and was gazing out at the view. Because of the way the aircraft was positioned, he had a perfect view overlooking the city.
Once she saw the metallic left arm she knew it was him. "James Barnes?" She asked softly as she approached him. His head turned to the source of the voice, surprised as he hadn't realized anyone was there. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She said as she took a spot next to where he was standing.
"Oh you're fine." He reassured. "And you can just call me Bucky." He added with a smile.
Jane nodded and returned the smile. "I'm Jane by the way. I don't know if they told you about me or not."
"Yeah, Steve was telling me about the new babysitter he got me." He looked out at the buildings below and added with a sigh, "The least he could've done was to get me a cute one." Jane wasn't entirely sure how to respond so she just looked out at the city and said nothing.
The silence lingered in the air for several moments before Bucky said with a laugh, "I'm kidding!" Jane looked up at him to see a wide grin on his face. She couldn't help but blush a little, partially from embarrassment that his joke had gone right over her head, and partially from the compliment that he had so subtly just given her. "Man, most girls would have smacked me upside the head for that." He said, chuckling to himself.
Jane stuck her hand in her back pockets and replied, "Well I guess you'll come to find I'm not really most girls." Just based on first impression, Jane decided that unless she had known his history beforehand, she probably wouldn't have guessed anything was wrong with Bucky. He seemed content, happy, even. However, it didn't matter how big he smiled or how many jokes he told, there remained the look deep in his eyes that told Jane there was a lot more going on under the surface than he let on.
"Jane…" He muttered to himself. "Do you mind if I call you Jay?"
She was surprised by the question but answered, "Sure, if you want to I guess." Bucky nodded in affirmation and Jane thought a moment more. "You don't care for first names much, do you?"
Bucky shrugged and replied, "I don't know, I suppose not. But I think it depends on the person sometimes."
Jane considered this, the sunlight peeking out from behind a cloud and reflecting off the building windows. "Hang on, so Steve's your best friend and you just call him Steve?"
"His name is Steven." Bucky answered plainly, the corner of his mouth tugging upward.
Jane crinkled her eyebrows in thought. "That's actually true. Touché." She felt kind of dumb for not realizing that fact sooner, but she pushed the feeling away, not letting it show.
"You know, what you said was right." Bucky said, changing the subject. When Jane looked up at him he continued, "You're not like everyone else. For one, you aren't afraid of me." Bucky motioned to his mechanical arm, "This usually takes care of that one all on its own. Most of the time people walk on eggshells around me, afraid they will set me off somehow. And even when they try to act like it's no big deal, I can tell they're nervous, that they're uncomfortable. But not you, I don't see any of that in you, you aren't afraid."
Jane squinted into the morning sunlight, its rays warming her arms. "Should I be?" Bucky simply shrugged. "You see, I believe in treating people in a way respective to their actions. If you had given me a reason to fear you I would have. But I haven't seen any reason to do so, and unless I do, I see no point in treating you as anything other than the perfectly friendly human being I've met so far."
"Until." Bucky said simply. Jane didn't understand and looked at him confused. "You said unless I give you a reason to be afraid; that should be an 'until I give you a reason to be afraid'."
Bucky's tone was serious, but she knew this time that he wasn't joking. He meant it, and he fully believed that would be the case. She wasn't sure exactly what to say, as she didn't want to make him feel like she was there simply to "fix" him. Usually when she was working with someone for the first time she liked to just get to know them like a normal person. No psychological theories, no offering of advice, just making a connection and putting them at ease. This time was no different.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She said softly after a period of silence.
Bucky said nothing for a time, and the two stood in the peaceful quietness of nobody around. They gazed at the city, watching the continuous stream of cars weaving in and out of lanes, all trying to get to their destination as fast as possible. Bucky was the first to break the silence. "You can just about see where I used to live, over there."
"Oh?" Jane said, intrigued.
Bucky pointed to the right of Jane, where she could see the Statue of Liberty back dropped by the bay. "Over there, past liberty island." Jane squinted, recognizing the area he was referring to.
"Oh, you lived in Red Hook? That's cool! I've only been through there once or twice, but it seemed nice."
"Of course it looks a bit different now, it's been a few years since I was last there." He added with a slight smile. "I mean, it wasn't even called 'Red Hook' then, as you say. It was just the ever-poetic 'South Brooklyn'." He said, waving his arms theatrically as he named his neighborhood.
Jane commented chuckling, "I live in Manhattan." She said, pointing to Bucky's left, explaining where her area of town was. "I never went into Brooklyn much. You'll have to show me sometime."
Bucky looked down at Jane and replied with a smile, "Sure, sometime. Then you can show me all the best places to eat that they've added since the 1940's."
Jane laughed, and Bucky joined in "Yeah let me just whip up a list real fast!"
"So what do you think?" Coulson said to Steve as they both stood on the garage balcony watching Bucky and Jane conversing and laughing below.
"I think you were right. She's got a knack for it, and if she's got as much talent as you say she does, I have no worries. If anyone can help him, it's her.