Bucky stood next to Jane, both hanging at the back of the group where Coulson was giving the team a rundown of their tasks for the day. It had only been a few days since they joined to team, and they still felt like they didn't quite belong just yet. During each of the previous morning meetings such as the one they were presently in, they had been given no direct orders and had been left to find their own ways to pass the time. Which, at first, had been nice- no expectations, no responsibilities, no pressure. However, the two of them had quickly ran out of places to explore on the Bus, and sitting around with nothing to do but make small talk was starting to get old fast.

Jane let out a small sigh, knowing today was likely not going to be any different. She knew she was simply there to help Bucky, and not to help the team in their work, but she couldn't help feeling like she was being a burden to them. Every time she saw Skye eagerly clicking away on her computer, or Mack and Fitz working on something in the lab, she couldn't help but feel useless and in the way. She knew Bucky felt the same way, but she had no idea what she was supposed to do about it.

Coulson finished up his brief announcements and everyone set off to do their respective duties. Jane and Bucky turned to follow the line of people heading out the door, but were stopped by a stack of files being thrust in front of them forcing them to halt. Jane looked up to see it was Coulson who was holding the papers, waiting for her to accept them.

"I need you to have Bucky look over these and see if anything triggers a memory we can use." Coulson said as Jane transferred the hefty stack to her arms. "In there is everything we have on Joseph Harrison. He's one of HYDRA's high ranking operatives and has been working on a weapons research project the last four years. We need to know where their operation is set up, and how to infiltrate it." He said calmly.

Jane looked at Coulson, then to Bucky, and back to Coulson again. "Uh—um, alright." She stuttered. "We'll get on that I guess." She was a bit taken aback by Coulson's sudden interest in getting them involved, but she was glad to have something to do and didn't want to ruin it. Even if it was just more research analysis work.

Coulson nodded and returned to his desk. Jane looked up at Bucky who simply shrugged before they both left the room. "Well that was interesting." Jane commented as they walked down the hallway looking for a good room to use.

"Does he really expect us to get through all of that in one day?" Bucky asked, referring to the large stack of files Jane was toting in her arms.

"Speaking of which," Jane said, turning to him. "You're the one with the super strength, you carry these." Jane let out a sigh of relief as she plopped the pile into Bucky's arms, happy to not have to carry them. "Don't know why he couldn't have just given us flash drive, but whatever." She added quietly.

They walked a bit further until Jane finally proclaimed, "Aha! This one should work." She opened up the door to a room with a tall table in the center with a stool on either side of it. She flicked on the light and saw that even though it wasn't large, it would work just fine for what they needed to do.

Jane took a side of the table, and Bucky followed suit, taking the other. Jane took a deep breath, looking at the huge stack before her. "Well, I guess the top is as good a place to start as any." She said, grabbing the top folder and opening it up.

Three hours later they were still perusing documents and images, having only made it through a half dozen of the countless folders. Bucky held a series of security camera screenshots in front of him, acting as though he was inspecting them closely. The first was a picture of a man and a woman sitting on a park bench with a briefcase between them, and in the next frames it showed the two exchanging a few words, then the woman leaving with the briefcase that she had not arrived with.

He had already looked at them a good four times in the last fifteen minutes, but he once again found himself staring at them aimlessly, unsure of what he was even looking for. So far they had sifted through copious amounts of information, and read reports until their minds felt like mush, yet still their efforts had produced no results. Several times Bucky had begun to wonder if they were just wasting their time, but Jane seemed determined to keep going, so he tried to look interested.

"You've looked at those like twenty times already, did you find something?" Jane asked restlessly, letting her head rest in her hand.

Bucky quickly put the images down, knowing she had caught on to his schemes. "No. I guess I'm really not much help, sorry."

"Yeah, well neither am I." She replied back, trying to make him feel better about the situation.

"Maybe I just wasn't involved in any of this stuff." Bucky said, looking for an explanation.

Jane just shrugged. "Maybe."

"Wait, hang on a minute." She said after a moment. A slip of paper peeking out of one of the files halfway through the unfinished stack caught her eye and she carefully pulled the file out, her face puzzled. Bucky watched as she quickly piled all the papers on the table back into their correct folder and then spread the new ones out. His heart skipped a beat when he realized what had caught her attention. Moving a few documents aside he grabbed a copy of a HYDRA test subject list with dates next to each name. Skimming down he found the familiar title he grown to hate seeing, "Winter Soldier".

Bucky swallowed hard, knowing what this meant. This was proof that he had been involved with this in the past so the memories had to be there. That was the whole point of all of this of course, to get the memories, but all the same he realized he had been hoping he wouldn't have to.

"Did you remember something?" Jane asked softly after watching him stare silently at the document for nearly a minute. When he didn't reply she continued, "Bucky, are you all right? Bucky?"

Upon hearing his name being repeated, Bucky snapped out of it and looked up to meet Jane's worried gaze. "No I-I'm fine." Taking a deep breath he added, "Nothing is ringing any bells though."

Jane let out a sigh. She was glad that Bucky was alright of course, she didn't want to see him in pain, but she was also getting frustrated with the lack of results. Since she had met him, Bucky had seemed to be doing fine—not perfect—but fine. He always gave a smile when the others would talk to him, and she hadn't seen any evidence of mental instability. And it was all starting to worry her. Based on the information she had been given about what he had gone through at HYDRA, and the things Steve had told her about his recovery thus far, he shouldn't have been doing as well as he was.

Based on the evidence, she had assumed he was suffering from among other things, PTSD; yet lately she had begun to wonder if she'd had it all wrong. There was no depression, no high levels of anxiety, no jumpiness and tension. At the very least she would have expected to see night terrors or traumatic flashbacks, but it had been nearly a week and Bucky was starting to seem like one of the most well-adjusted of the team.

The look she saw in his eyes now, however, was all she had needed to know that she had been right in her diagnosis from the beginning. Bucky may have been more skilled than most at compartmentalizing emotions and putting on a brave face, but Jane was accustomed to seeing through exteriors and now that his guard was down, though only for a split second, she could see the true fear beneath the smile.

He was afraid of remembering because he knew he couldn't control what he saw; a feeling Jane knew all too well. She began to wonder if that was the real reason Coulson had chosen her for the job. Not because of the skills she had developed while helping at the clinic with Dr. Jacobs, but because she was in the unique position of being able to understand what he was going through.

"You know what, I think a break would do us good." Jane announced, shoveling the papers back into their folder. Bucky nodded wordlessly, helping her straighten out the stack. He stood and pushed in his chair after her, expecting to follow her out the door to go somewhere else in the Bus for a while. Instead he watched in confusion as she instead kneeled to the floor and laid down on her back, her arms stretched out beside her.

Jane laughed at Bucky who stood confused on his side of the table, not knowing what to do. "It's a little weird, I know, but I've found that laying on the floor is actually quite nice." When Bucky didn't move she added, "Come on, don't act like you've never done it before."

Bucky processed the scene a moment more before shrugging and joining her on the hard floor. While he was doing so, Jane pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket and found a playlist she had saved. Tossing the phone next to her, the room filled with sounds of a piano and an orchestra.

The moment made Bucky think of all the times when Steve would put on music telling him that someone had suggested it and that it was supposed to be amazing. Sometimes they ended up liking it, but a lot of times, usually it was when it was something Tony had suggested, they found themselves wondering how the thing they were listening to was even considered music.

This time though, he found Jane's music refreshing, and was definitely not an assault on his ears. "Steve used to make me listen to some weird stuff, but this is nice, what is it?" He asked Jane, whose eyelids had closed.

"Soundtracks are where it's at!" Jane laughed. "A lot of people think they're boring, but I like them. They feel more real, like you're connected to the musician, you know?" Bucky agreed, though he wasn't sure he felt it quite the way she did.

"What's it from?" Bucky asked, not recognizing the music.

"No idea." She replied simply, making Bucky laugh. The two rested, taking in the music for several minutes until Jane finally broke the silence. "I get it you know."

"Get what?" Bucky asked, turning to look at Jane.

"Why you're afraid to remember stuff." She answered without opening her eyes. Bucky opened his mouth to protest that he wasn't afraid, but the more he thought about it the more he realized she was probably right. He hadn't had any flashbacks in weeks, and perhaps, even if just on a subconscious level, his own emotions were the reason why.

"You can't control what you're going to see." Jane continued. "There's always the thought in the back of your head that wonders if you would be better off not knowing. And then you start to worry that if you remember, you won't ever be able to forget it."

Bucky knew from the way she talked, that she'd had a personal encounter with such a situation. "What are you trying to forget?" He asked quietly.

"Nothing." She replied simply. Opening her eyes slowly she turned so she was facing Bucky, who was looking at her with a furrowed brow. "I don't have anything to forget, because it's all been forgotten already."

Taking a deep breath she continued, "Before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I woke up one day in a hospital bed with no idea where I was or who I was. It's been three years and I still can't remember a thing of my life before S.H.I.E.L.D." She watched as Bucky processed this information and realized that she had truly meant it when she said she understood.

"I'm really sorry, I had no idea." Bucky said softly.

"Don't be, it's not your fault." She replied, forcing a smile. "Besides, I've grown to accept the fact that I probably won't ever get those memories, and maybe that's for the better. But we're not here to talk about me, we're here to help you remember!" She added, with enthusiasm.

Bucky sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I suppose we are."

"I don't want to rush you or anything, I hope you know that." Jane said. "But it's still my goal to get you through this as quickly as I can, so you can get back to living your life."

He nodded, knowing she really did mean well. "And what if that never happens?" He mumbled quietly. "What if I never get back the person I was before; what if who HYDRA made me is all I am anymore?"

"I think that's where you're wrong though." Jane replied.

"Why, because 'I can be anything I want to be'; or that 'HYDRA was just a rough patch in my life, and an obstacle I can overcome'?" He said with an edge of annoyance, repeating the lines so many people had said to him before.

"No, no that's not what I'm saying." Jane quickly answered. "What I'm saying is that you've been so busy trying to be who everyone else wants you to be, that you don't even know who you are. My goal isn't to make you back into the person you were before HYDRA, because quite honestly I don't think that Bucky exists anymore. You can't go through something like that and have it not affect you, to say otherwise would be belittling the strength you had to have simply to survive it. Steve was looking for the Bucky he knew before the war, but that's not who I'm looking for. I'm looking for the Bucky you are now. I don't care if he's 'damaged' or 'troubled' or anything else you may think you are. Those things don't bother me, because those things are human. They don't make you less of a person and ignoring them would be ignoring a part of who you are. My goal is simply to help you get to the Bucky you are now, and then to help you figure out how to live as that person."

Bucky pondered her words but didn't respond right away, instead letting the quiet sounds of the music cover the room. "You seem to have this all figured out. You should really be careful what you wish for, you may not like the person I am."

"Why do you always do that?" Jane said, turning to him with a faint smile.

"Do what?" Bucky asked.

Jane let her hands rest on her stomach and answered, "You always see yourself as a monster, and never realize the fact that you were the victim in all this."

Bucky shrugged, "You might understand what it's like not to be able to trust your own mind, but you don't get what it's like living with a reminder staring you in the face every day." He said referencing his metal arm resting on his chest.

"You'd be surprised." She replied with a smirk, her mind thinking of her own machinery screwed to her back. Bucky tilted his head to the side, not sure what she had meant by that phrase, but before he could question her about it the door opened and Skye stepped into the room.

Upon seeing the two of them sprawled on the floor, she halted and raised an eyebrow. "Um—okay. Jane, May was asking for you whenever you've got a free minute." Skye said.

"Alright thanks." Jane replied, not bothering to get up off the floor. Skye slowly backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She hesitated in the hall a moment, then shook her head and continued on.