AN: So, at the end of this chapter, I'm going to ask you to review. I hope you will consider doing just that. Please? Pretty please? :D

SATURDAY MORNING

Outside the window, it looked so cold. The sun was dim through a mess of hazy clouds, but enough soothing tendrils of light managed to stream in the window to alight on the two lovers. They'd had a late night of steamy kisses, tender caresses and searching hands. Rory felt warm all over, to be nestled under the covers, alongside Jess's attentive body. Cold bad, she thought, warm good.

"So we're gonna stay in all weekend, waiting for this guy to call?" Jess queried.

"Yeah?"

"Hmm," he rumbled. "I almost don't mind." Jess leaned forward to kiss her and she accepted him into her arms, ready for Round Two. Then, to Rory's surprise, he threw off the blankets and attempted to get out of bed. Rory pulled him back into the safety of their cocoon.

"Where are you going?"

"To get supplies."

"Supplies?"

"Yeah. As usual, your cupboards are as bare as Doose's shelves after double-coupon day. If we're gonna stay here all weekend, we're gonna need something to eat."

"Oh right. Very Paleolithic," she teased.

"Huh?"

"My little hunter-gatherer."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm such a provider. The next time we go out for supper, you're buying." He gave her another peck on the lips and slipped out of her arms and out of the bed.

Rory lay back in bed as Jess found his way across the narrow living space and tucked himself into the bathroom. Rory caught snippets of his routine, through the door, slightly ajar. She smiled as she watched him toss a little water through his hair, his brow furrowed like a true artist—and then a little extra water directly onto one rebellious, sleep-induced curl. A douse of gel, spot-treated, fixed it for sure.

Today he'd chosen a simple tan-grey, long-sleeve shirt and Rory had unabashedly devoured the sight of him pulling it down over his head, and over his torso, towards the waistband of his low-slung—but not obnoxiously low—distressed blue jeans. Afterward, though the shirt now covered him, it did little to hide his trim abdomen. Near-fully put together now, Rory thought he was a man made for sex, and yet with feet dressed only in cozy socks, he still retained an innocent, boyish charm.

When Jess appeared beside the bed again to grab his watch from the computer desk, his cheeks freshly scrubbed and the sleep washed away, Rory's eyes became caught up again in the curls and twists of a delicious fringe of hair. Girls far and wide dreamed of touching tresses like those, she knew, and Rory was no exception. She revelled in the knowledge that, where Jess was concerned, she alone could.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, his wristwatch forgotten.

"Mmm, good dream," Rory replied. "But it's a secret that only I can know."

"Oh yeah?" Jess smiled as he leaned down over the bed. His hands, placed to either side of her shoulders, brought his daring eyes to fill her frame of view. "That's funny, because I had a dream too. But I'll gladly share it."

"Do tell." Her breath caught as his teasing tone turned languid.

"It was a dream… about a serious girl with striking, blue eyes and brunette hair. I've caught her in a rare moment of abandon… and her cheeks have flushed this beautiful… tantalizing pink. Her hair is a tangle of ribbons and is tossed back… strewn against a pillow…" Jess smiled. "And she's biting her lower lip, pretending she's completely innocent, but she and I both know… she's not entirely."

Jess ran a finger through Rory's hair, slowly tracing the lengths of its strands across the pillow, as his earnest voice continued and her pulse quickened, "Her eyes are heavy-lidded… remarkably like yours are now… but she's watching me, watching my every move, reading me… And she knows me completely… And I think maybe she's a Siren, and I'm about to be smashed against the rocks… but I simply don't care. I can't not be with her… and give her everything she's wanting..." His eyes traced the line of her shoulder.

"Stop," Rory interrupted breathlessly, not sure what it was she was asking him to stop: his seductive storytelling or her own mind picturing everything he said, and more, in exquisite detail.

Momentarily surprised, Jess took a steadying breath of his own, his arms once again straddling her shoulders. They shared a long, silent gaze. "I know... May," Jess replied with a certain degree of understanding, without any impatience.

"May," she agreed.

"And now, the crash." Jess's sincere smile calmed her.

"It's a real nautical disaster," she confirmed, following his train of thought.

"I'll be back," he said, before kissing her lightly, grabbing his watch finally, and collecting his boots, jacket, wallet and keys. Rory sat up in bed. The look he gave her, over his shoulder ere he stepped outside the door of her apartment, spoke of respect, subtle disappointment and a wry recognition of their shared plan to only allow their mutual desire a certain length of leash.

Once he'd gone, Rory flopped back against the pillow. Grabbing the other pillow, she covered her face, meaning to smother a scream of frustration that boiled up inside her, but which never materialized.

She and Jess, in the months that they'd been together as a couple, had delighted in each other, exploring delicious twists and turns as they happened upon them, whilst following an implicit path. It was a path she very much enjoyed travelling, the journey of it being every bit as wonderful and erotic and exciting as was the promise of the eventual destination: sex with Jess. As of yet, however, that was a fork in the road beyond which she had been willing to venture.

Every passionate touch and soulful caress brought her closer to giving in to her own temptations, however. Surprisingly, platonic events often proved to be the most powerful. The dinners they'd spent with Lorelai, with Luke, and very—very—occasionally with her grandparents, where Jess's predilection for literary debate easily engaged her grandfather; the study session she'd shared with Jess in her favourite library when, in plain sight, he'd hidden her pen and, with a twinkle in his eyes, fervently denied doing so; quiet conversations; even moments when Jess simply teased her mercilessly; especially moments when she'd teased him back—they all served to heighten her desire of him.

The day they'd taken a picnic to the countryside and sat together, munching and reading their books under a tree—his a novel, hers a collection of short stories—with the verbal sparring that had ensued as the daylight turned an orange gold… especially that day had brought her tantalizingly close.

But still she held back. What did sex mean to her? How would Jess react afterward, especially if she became pregnant? How would she react? With every question, she'd freaked out a little bit more, until, during one vague conversation they'd had about sex, she'd declared to Jess that the eventuality should wait at least until spring. The end of May, to be specific, when the essays and exams would be behind her for another year and she would have more time to deal with it. It was as if she'd made a decision, but in reality, she'd put off deciding.

Through all this, Jess had been wonderful. Indeed, she knew he savoured every stage of their journey also and her urgency to delay had never been a rift between them, rather it had always served to make them more companionable, to allow them the opportunity to share a precious secret.

Her only hint of frustration on his part had come a few weeks ago. She had undressed him that day, not for the first time, and he her. Jess, with lips that had pleased her in countless ways, had laid her willingly against the couch, and rested himself lightly atop. Rory, her mind spinning, had run her hands down the length of his torso and then guided his hips against her thigh. His guttural response had caused the hair on her arms to prickle upright, due to equal parts of excitement and fear. Stretching out together when they were fully clothed was one thing, but doing so in that state of undress had suddenly seemed to Rory entirely too dangerous, especially once her self-control had begun to unravel.

When, as the kisses he'd spread along her collarbone had set her near-unsalvageably afire and she'd asked him to stop, his first reaction had been to whisper a reprimand of, "Rory," his breath hot against her neck.

That one simple word had been enough to weaken her resolve. She hadn't wanted to stop either.

However she'd insisted and, true to their promise, he'd ceased his advances, and she hers. They'd dressed in silence and Jess had remained quiet the rest of the evening, the kisses reserved and lacklustre. On that one night—though afterward his arm had remained around her shoulder—she'd felt the separation between them palpable.

Rory thought about all this now, for the thousandth time, envisioning the pro/con list burned into her memory, as she lay in the quiet warmth of a sunlight-strewn morning, safely tucked away from the wintery outdoors. Idly as she traced the hem of her top sheet, Rory wondered if the supplies on his list ever included condoms.

Rory tossed the pillow and blankets off of her now and plodded across to the bathroom. In the shower, she washed quickly but enjoyed the feel of hot water for a long spell afterward. Later, after dressing, brushing her hair into a short ponytail and her teeth into minty freshness, she regarded herself in the foggy mirror and thought about it some more.

Then, watching her hand replace her toothbrush into the cup containing Jess's toothbrush—the first of his many belongings to find themselves permanent residents in her apartment—Rory felt an inkling of calm. Fixated on the toothbrushes, two individual items bound together by the painted white plastic of her rubber duckie cup, she smiled.

In many ways she and Jess had become almost domestic, with plans and routines, and a care and companionship, not to mention attraction, that she could count on. She was grateful that they'd had the opportunity to become friends first. Despite the unpredictability of his personality, the solidarity and trust she felt with him now was present in all acts of their relationship. Even when he'd obviously not wanted to, and though he'd coaxed, he'd stopped, because she'd asked. She had a hard time picturing any event dampening the profound way he clearly respected her. She knew that no incident could destroy the intense way she loved him in return.

With another wipe of the mirror's steam and one parting look at the newfound determination in her eyes, she left the bathroom and found her phone.

Her mother answered on the third ring. With bullish vigour, Rory dived right in. "You would want to know, right?"

"Rory?"

"I mean, if certain events were imminent, you would want me to tell you about them, right?"

Still surprised, Lorelai replied warily, "Uh, I think so. I guess it would depend on the events in question."

"Certain potentially life-altering events…?" Rory hinted, a new frustration presenting itself.

"The internship? Did you get it?"

"No. I mean, I don't know about that yet. But I was referring to events of a personal nature."

"You're gonna have to spell it out for me, Hon."

"Jess and I have been together for a while now."

"Uh-huh..."

"And I love him dearly."

"I know you do, in all his James Dean glory."

"And he loves me too."

"Also fairly evident. He grunts at all the right times."

"And I've been thinking about…"

"Oh…!" Recognition rang in Lorelai's voice before being cut off by a short, surprised, "Huh."

"What did that 'Huh' mean?" Rory demanded.

"Nothing! Nothing."

"Yeah, right."

"I'm just surprised is all. I thought you were already..."

"You did?"

"Well yeah."

"No!"

"Luke and I had a bet."

"You did not!" Rory cried, aghast. "Mom! Tell me you didn't!"

"Alright, we didn't actually have a bet. But that's mostly because we couldn't decide on which of us got to take the side that you were already doing it!"

"Oh my God!" Rory moaned, putting a hand to her forehead.

"We both thought it was clearly the winning side. Boy, is my face red."

"Your face is red!" Rory plunked down onto the floor, next to her bed. "You're having conversations with Luke about me and Jess and… that… and your face is red?"

"It wasn't just Luke, Hon," Lorelai admitted sheepishly. "Babette and Miss Patty were there also. It was Miss Patty who brought it up."

"Oh my God! Is the whole town talking about us?"

"It's made a few loops, yeah. Miss Patty alluded to it in her newsletter."

"Well stop the presses! How could people be talking about such things?"

"Well… I might have let a couple of things slip…"

"What!"

"Look, I know you've had feelings for Jess for quite a while now, just as I suspected it years ago. And I know he's been spending weekends over there…" Lorelai's tone ignited as she continued, "And I've seen your apartment. I know you only have one bed. Therefore, I know you two are sleeping together. From that point on, it's not hard to imagine you're also 'not-sleeping' together. What I wouldn't give to not be able to imagine it."

Despite her discomfort over the Stars Hollow gossip machine, Rory couldn't help smiling weakly at her mother's logic. When in Stars Hollow, Rory and Jess never slept together, both staying at their respective homes. Rory insisted on this, for the sakes of Luke and Lorelai; she hadn't wanted to make anyone uncomfortable. But her mother was right. Of course when Jess stayed in New Haven, he was sleeping in her bed. It was no secret.

Lorelai went on, "I mentioned to Miss Patty about your cute little apartment and she put two and two together and gave words to my secret fears and started the conversation that had me wanting to take an ice pick to my ears and schedule a lobotomy just to wipe the idea from my memory…"

"Fine! Fine!" Rory interrupted before Lorelai could get too graphic in her rhetoric. "Well… we've done… some things but we've never…"

"No details! I beg of you. The ice pick! The lobotomy!"

"But we are seriously considering it. You know I would have told you, right? That is, if you wanted to know."

Lorelai sighed. "Yeah… I guess I'd want to know."

Rory's eyes fell on her book bag, sitting just within reach. Idly, as she contemplated her next words, she pulled the bag towards her lap. "Consider yourself 'in the know,'" she said softly.

"Rory, are you sure?"

"Yes." Rory toyed with the shoulder strap of the book bag. "But I'd like to know what you think."

"'Just don't do it.' It's the slogan Nike should have gone with."

"Mom, seriously."

"I am serious. Imagine telling legions of teens to 'Just do it'! How irresponsible is that?"

Rory played with the Velcro on her bag now. "I could wait forever… but I don't want to. When will it ever be the right time? When will I ever not have an education or a career ahead of me? Never, that's when. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life being too scared to try."

"Aw, there's my emotionally stunted girl! Hon," Lorelai commiserated, "I don't want you to be scared. You shouldn't be scared when it's about to happen. If you're confident in your relationship, and trust in each other, it'll be the most natural thing in the world. Sex can be a good thing provided you do it for the right reasons."

"I know," she said, although she wasn't entirely sure she did.

"And provided you're careful," Lorelai stressed.

"We will be."

"We're talking safety nets and buffer zones and seven extra harnesses kind of careful!"

"We're not doing it on a trapeze!"

"Aahhh!" Lorelai cried. "No visuals! I'm just saying be careful!"

"You know we'd be careful."

"Not Lorelai and Christopher at sixteen on her bedroom balcony kind of careful."

"Eww the balcony? Did I really need to know that?"

"I'm just saying. Things happen."

"I know." Rory pouted. "And now I know too much."

"You do still have college to finish and a career in front of you," Lorelai agreed.

"Yes I do."

"And maybe a fabulous internship next summer."

"Yes."

"I want you to finish college."

"I do too and so does Jess."

Lorelai tried a new tactic. "Are you scared of it because you aren't sure of your relationship? Because that's a real sign—"

"No, actually, I'm scared of it because of you."

"Me?"

"The risk you took, and the gamble you lost when you conceived me… apparently on a balcony." A dismayed Rory shook her head at the vision.

Lorelai sighed and paused for a long moment. "Not to encourage you or anything, but I didn't lose anything. I gained a family. That is something I've cherished every day of my life since. Rory, your decision to have sex is yours and yours alone. You can let my life be a warning if you like, but don't let it stop you from living yours. Yes, pregnancy is a very real possibility, as are the responsibilities that arise in that case. Even the act of sex itself can stir up emotions and issues that you didn't necessarily expect. But if you and Jess can handle all that, then, really, how can I complain? You know him better than I do."

"The truth is, I've been thinking about this for a while now. I've been preparing."

"You made the pro/con list."

"Yes I made the list…" Ignoring Lorelai's humour, Rory continued, "And I went to the doctor and I got a prescription which I've already started using and I know all the details about that…" Rory leaned back against the Hide-a-bed as the realization finally articulated itself. "And I'm prepared."

"You know that the pill doesn't protect against—"

"Yes I know that too," Rory interjected then rambled digressively, "And not that I'm worried about that because Jess and I have talked about that and he's fine and I'm fine—"

"I know you're fine."

Rory ignored her mother's interruption and continued, "…But I plan to take extra precautions as well, to cut out that point-one-percent chance."

"I like extra precautions. Extra precautions are good." After a pause, came Lorelai's quiet observation. "It seems like you're prepared. It seems like you've decided."

Through the silence that followed, Rory could hear her mother's fingers drumming slowly against the table. "I suppose when I'm leading by my example, I really can't complain that you waited until you were 20." More finger-drumming. "I applaud your span of abstinence, by the way. It was a good, long stint. In comparison, at least."

"Well thank you. I gave it my best."

"I guess this doesn't really change things since I thought you were already."

"Yeah, stop talking about this with the entire town! Luke and Babette and Miss Patty," she muttered. "Miss Patty! Anybody but Miss Patty!"

"And Luke's already given Jess the gears," Lorelai went on, resigned to fate. "Let me tell you, that boy got a real talking to!"

"Oh my God!"

"Sorry, Kid," she commiserated. "Yeah… Well I guess I should go and… do an anti-fertility dance."

"Dust off your tap shoes," came Rory's flippant reply.

Lorelai tried one last-ditch effort. "Honestly, my heart breaks to think of you raising a child alone. I mean… I know you could do it… but it's really hard. I speak from experience. And you'd have to put your whole life on hold. Everything you've worked for."

"I wouldn't be alone. Jess would be there."

"Oh, right," Lorelai agreed, but something in her tone irritated Rory just the slightest bit.

"He would." Rory was sure of it.

"I'm just saying, Fort Knox kind of careful," Lorelai reminded. "I love you."

Rory relented. "I love you too, Mom."

"Call me anytime."

"Ok, bye"

"Bye."

AN: Please drop me a line to let me know what you think!